Gift for casseyfreakin

Gift from ???

Title of the gift: Give me the colors of the night and I will paint you a dream

Pairing: MarkJin

Wordcount: 2,260

Rating: PG

Warnings: none


Note to my giftee:
Dear giftee~
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and a great start into the new year!? :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Haha Please enjoy your story, sorry that I didn't write the typical jealous Jinyoung and dreadful sick Mark fanfic you might have expected - hopefully you like it anyways... (even though it turned out to be a tiny little bit cheesy - blame my upcoming exams kkk) I tried my best~
Please excuse any logic errors and grammar mistakes - English is not my native language and I'm pretty new to writing for others ^^
take care and stay healthy~~ xoxo

Give Me The Colors Of The Night And I Will Paint You A Dream

Thunder was rolling over the sky in the middle of the night; lightning illuminated the dark every now and then. Heavy raindrops were clashing on windows, the streets empty. It was another city, another busy day with a concert, another fan-signing, another hotel room, another sleepless night for him. The other members were sleeping soundly, but he was sitting on the padded windowsill with his phone in his lap, looking out into the black of the night.

He was listening to soothing Korean ballads through his earphones, not to disturb the others, with the hope of falling asleep. Sleep would keep him from thinking about his life, his future, about a lot of things he doesn’t want to think about right now, so he let his head sink onto the cold window glass.

***

“Can’t sleep, hyung?” he heard a familiar warm voice behind him before a soft blanket was draped over his shoulders. “Thanks”, the older said, but didn’t look into the other’s direction until he sat opposite from him on the small bench at the window. “Don’t want you to get sicker.” When he looked into the face of the blonde he was surprised to see his eyes teary, but the older quickly sniffled and looked away from the younger, focusing again on the rain in front of the window. After a moment of silence the Korean spoke again in a whisper. “Mark hyung?” But he didn’t get an answer right away, Mark just pulled his earplugs out. Only as many seconds passed the other turned his head and shot the black haired a questioning look by cocking his right brow, as if to ask what the other was doing in the middle of the night not sleeping already, but he kept his sad eyes. “Hyung, are you hurting? Do you need anything – I can get you painkillers.”

Mark simply shook his head and tried a smile, but failed miserably. After a while, because Junior still eyed him with a worried expression, he simply said “Park Jinyoung would you stop worrying about me.” He actually wanted to add that he’s fine, but that would have been a lie and he couldn’t bring it over his lips – he was all but fine.

Mark was fidgeting with his phone, hoping the younger would leave him to his thoughts, but to his misery the other was just leaning closer to see what he was up to. When he turned away his phone display, the other shot him a questioning, but hurt look. “Don’t be like that Mark hyung!” he started to whine. “You always share with Jaebum hyung.” “Oh come on, Jinyoung-ah, don’t be ridiculous!” the elder said slightly annoyed. “… or with Yugyeomie.” Jinyoung was easily jealous of some of the other members and he probably enjoyed it himself that Mark was such a er for his aegyo. So again he used his not so secret weapon against the older who was falling already for the younger’s charm, when he was pouting with his lower lip stretched out, which let Mark finally smile genuinely. Junior was happy since the other’s mood brightened a tiny little bit and he smiled back, showing off his beautiful little wrinkles his eye-smile always made by doing so. While Mark didn’t say more, the younger kept on pestering him since he couldn’t sleep.

“Are you reading fan comments again? Or are you browsing through fan sites? Should we take a picture and upload it?”Mark wasn’t really in the mood for company; he didn’t like to talk and only wanted to be left alone. He knew what Junior would make shut up, so he played his trump card by saying in a weary voice. “Sure, you know Jinyoungie, there are many fans who like to talk or write about us… You know the famous Markjin couple? … It’s kind of funny how many stories, commies and even videos there are…” It was as Mark predicted when he smiled cheekily – after all, they were living and working together for so many years, day by day at each other’s side that they knew each other very well by now: A slight red crept onto the younger’s cheeks because he had a feeling into which direction this conversation was going, but despite him becoming more and more uncomfortable, the younger was extremely curious and asked: “Ähmm, stories? What stories are so funny Mark hyung?” “You know, Jinyoungie, when you and me-“ The older started to gesture, also wanting to shove his phone into the other’s face, but Jinyoung cut off his sentence midway and closed his eyes. “I think I’m going to bed, I feel pretty tired – you should sleep s-soon too hyung, you know we have a f-full schedule tomorrow.”

Junior’s face was immediately deeply flushed as he stumbled over his words, losing his countenance, so kept his head down in embarrassment. When he was about to surrender and move to really go to bed even though he was worried sick about his hyung, he knew Mark sometimes needed time to himself and wanted to be alone. Still, he was jealous that some members seem to have a better relationship with him, that he noticed - especially their second oldest and youngest of the group.

When he was about to turn around, a loud rumble of thunder let them jump in surprise and the younger instantly reached for the elder’s muscular upper arm to hold on to something. When Mark tried to loosen his tight grip, Jinyoung felt how cold the older’s hands were.

“Hyung you are so cold, I will get you a cup of tea. Or are you hungry, I can prepare some ramyun…?” he requested, but was cut short by his elder. “No, can you just… “ he definitely didn’t want to hurt the other, but he was not really in the mood for a conversation. “… leave me alone?” The younger’s dark eyes were deep, so deep and black as a lake at night and Mark felt guilty because he kind of offended his lovely dongsaeng and his kind intentions.

Jinyoung opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Mark usually wasn’t like this, so straight forward and cold. There must be something on his mind that is burdening him, that is hurting him. All Junior wanted to do is help, because his hyung meant a lot to him, so he whispered in a shy manner: “Uhm, I don’t know what’s going on, but I am here to listen. Anytime. You can talk to me you know hyung. It’s not that we do not share the same difficulties on a daily basis…”

When their conversation was more light hearted before, it became again colder and much more serious. “Thank you Jin, really, I appreciate your offer, but I just wanna be alone.” His words hurt Jinyoung because he wanted to show and tell the other that he wasn’t alone in this, they were a team and he knew very well that his elder would never take into account to turn to one of their companies’ counselors with his obvious problems. Mark had been sick for a few days, seemed easily distracted and Junior saw that stress and dieting left its toll on the other’s body – on all of them. While their fans were enjoying their new album they already prepared for new songs and performances. A never ending circle.

It was not easy and all they could do its help one another and give love and support to each other. So what Mark was doing now was beyond his understanding. He wouldn’t allow him to fight alone against his demons in his own built fortress of solitude. One way or the other he would find a way to help him, to get him better and healthy. Many thoughts ran through his mind - from anger to compassion, from love to the instinct of protecting his hyung - and he finally had to let his surging wave of disappointment roll freely towards the other with all his kept emotions, so he harshly responded: “But you can talk to Jaebum, no?” The younger said furiously, his words dripping with jealousy. “Jinyoung look, I don’t want to argue with you in the middle of the night when we have a busy schedule tomorrow all day, so can we just…”

“Sure we can hyung, I get it, you don’t need to let me in on your thoughts and feelings. You probably still think I’m too immature and not trustworthy enough. Fine, I’ll go.” And with this he made his way out of the hotel’s spacey living room, but what Mark finally said made him stop in his tracks right away, but he didn’t turn around right away. He needed to procress what the other had said.

After a moment of silence Jinyoung stepped back to his side opening his arms to embrace the elder. His words still echoing in his head. “I’m alone. I feel so alone – even if I stand in a crowd of people, I would still be alone.” The other had said painfully – finally letting it out to him and it weighed heavily on the younger’s heart because Mark’s voice was so full of sadness and the way his head hung low now was breaking Junior’s heart.

Minutes over minutes these two were hugging each other, nobody spoke a word. It was the warmth and love between them that finally made Mark feel something. He reached out to grab the younger’s back, clinging his long fingers onto the other’s thin sleeping shirt, holding him even tighter to himself.

Finally the younger found his voice and said in a whisper: “Hyung, you are not alone – you have me. I will always be here.” It was now or never he thought to himself and continued talking in an even lower voice against the other’s ear that nobody else could have ever heard but Mark. “Can I be by your side as your guardian angel?” When Mark was looking up, his cheeks dusted with a hint of red because of their closeness. Was the younger just confessing to him? His thoughts were a whirlwind in his head and he didn’t know if this was love he felt in his warming chest. He was looking deep into the other’s eyes right in front of him. It was the most beautiful view he could dream of since he saw his own reflection in them – exactly where he wanted to be, in the eyes and heart of the younger.

Slowly he approached the other who leaned in a little and their lips were brushing against each other softly. Their hearts were beating fast as their innocent kiss continued.

***

He woke up with a burning feeling in his chest. It was bright outside and the rain had stopped. He must have fallen asleep right on the spot. His phone was still in his lap and strangely a blanket was draped around his shoulders. Was he dreaming? Had it happened for real? Shyly he touched his lips with his long slender fingers and the tingling sensation when his mind recollected what it could remember of the last night made his heart rate speed up.

He felt stiff because of this strange position he slept in, so he got up and stretched. At this moment Jaebum walked out of one room with his sleeping clothes on, also stretching. “Mark hyung, how is your cold? Feeling better today?”

Mark was a little in trance, but just shook his head and followed the leader to the little kitchenette in the corner to get some coffee to survive the day.

Later that day when they were backstage in the waiting room most of the members were having a nap. The whole morning Mark and Jinyoung were only exchanging gazes, while the younger eyed him especially when he got closer to their leader or their maknae. Mark thought to himself that Jinyoung was unbelievably jealous – without a reason. They were not speaking properly with each other basically the whole day until Jinyoung approached the elder when he exited the washroom after their evening performance, when the group got ready to leave for the airport.

“Hyung, can we talk?” Before the younger could say more, Mark dragged him back into the toilette and into an empty stall, pushing the door closed with a loud bang, locking it. Within a second he had Jinyoung pressed against the wall, his soft lips on the others’. The younger gasped into the kiss in surprise, but relaxed in an instant and gripped the other’s shirt around his hip to keep him steady. Whenever Mark was so close to him his knees became week. After a long moment of sweet kisses, the elder let go of the abused lips of his inexperienced friend. A little out of breath he stuttered: “We should. We should try to make it work. I know there are a lot of things to overcome. But, … you make me feel, you bring me back to life Jinyoungie. I think I cannot let it not happen. You and me. Can we-?” With this Mark was stopped by the younger’s silken lips – his own answer to all the older’s doubts. Jinyoung’s hand was searching Mark’s and intertwining their fingers to reassure him that he will be there, by his side, no matter what. They were trying to be together in secrecy – come what may.