I grew up with a lot of affection, as you can tell. I was the princess of my house and my parents both loved me unconditionally. Sometimes I still get grossed out of how affectionate my parents were. However, as grossed out as I was, their relationship was my goals and role model growing up, I’d dream about nothing but a marriage like that.

When I was 10, my mom got pregnant, I was really excited to have a little brother but at the same time I felt hurt that I won’t be receiving that much attention anymore. It was a pretty rough time for my family over all, my parents rarely fight, but my dad’s job required him to live away from us and come home only on the weekends, my mom dealt with her symptoms alone most of the time during her pregnancy. But to our family, it was worth it, Seunghyun came into our lives and things completely changed for goods.

When I was 12, we decided to move closer to my parents’ work place. We moved next door to my mom’s best friend, Aeyoung and her husband, Jisoo. I met their son once or twice before, whenever they visit. When I moved there, I was really shy. I was short, I also had a very unfortunate set of teeth, therefore I also had braces...geez. I had a few friends here and there at school but I mostly stayed at home afterschool. Jiseok, Aeyoung’s son, was a lot different than me, he loved basketball, it’s the fact that the world knows, Jiseok was in love with basketball. He was a social butterfly, he talked to anyone and everyone. He was older than me by a couple years and would always knock on the door to give us things from his mom, I rarely open the door...because I just don’t know how to deal with people. The first time that Jiseok and I had a conversation was when I visited his mom in the hospital, after giving birth to his little sister. For a guy like him, he has a lot of similar interests in me and I was quite surprised.

When I was 14, I decided that I need to stop looking like I’m 7. That was when my mom agreed to let me have bangs and do my brows. I wanted to dye my hair but I know my hair would be snatched by my school administrators, so I decided that it wasn’t a good idea afterall. I dressed differently and styled myself differently. Jiseok and I were always good friends, we’d walk to school together and walked home together, spend time doing homework together. I faded with Jiseok for awhile, he entered high school before me, and we just didn’t have time to talk to each other anymore. I found out one day that he has a girlfriend, of course I shrugged and continued on doing my things, it’s none of my business after all . But it bothered me more than it should be, she was pretty, gentle and smart. Well, it didn’t bug me for that long because they broke up a few weeks after that. That was when we reconnected ourselves, he was extremely upset, we were up all night talking because he couldn’t control his emotions, sometimes I’d secretly open the window from my room and stick my head out to make Jiseok laugh. I decided to tell my mom, which probably the worst decision ever:

“Mom, what do you think about Jiseok?” I said as I picked up the bag of flour from the cabinet.

“He’s a good kid, smart and plays sport well.” She replied to me.

“Mom, so like he has a girlfriend, but it’s kinda bugging me that she broke up with him, and it bugs me even more that he like...cried over her.” I leaned on the counter.

“Honey, you probably have a crush on him.” My mom smiled and shrugged.

Well she smiled and shrugged, but then the next day my whole family knows, Jiseok’s family knows and I was pretty sure Jiseok himself knows too. I avoided him for a good 4 months because I was embarrassed. 4 months later, it was my turn to turn 15, Jiseok was 16 because he hasn’t turned 17 yet, that night, I was diligently doing my homework and someone knocked on my window. I freaked out for a good 40 seconds and I hyperventilated, I knew it was Jiseok, because only him would knock on my window at that time. I opened it, and caught a box with a bow in my arms.

“Happy birthday!” He gave me the biggest smile and shut his window.

I became really conscious of myself around him starting from that point, I wanted to look prettier, more attractive, so he can forget the image of the girl who had braces and pigtails. There was a time that my parents constantly had wine gatherings with their friends and he’d always come over and I’d always get scared. Usually I would be hiding in my room from that point on, but Jiseok was indifferent about my feelings I assumed, because he’d just bang my door open and hang out with me the entire time. By the time I entered high school, I was pretty much on an invisible Wanted poster because of  my picture with Jiseok was on my homescreen.

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My second year of high school came around and a lot of unexpected things happened.

“Seok!” I ran behind him in my school uniform and he pretended like he didn’t hear me.

I walked behind Jiseok for a good minute, it was bugging me, Jiseok is someone who’d never get mad for no reason. I was sure that he wasn’t mad at all because I would never do something that kills him inside out, “Jiseok!” I called and tug his arm and he yanked himself away from me, I decided to speed up and get in front of him.

    “Choi Ahyoung, leave me alone.” He snapped and I looked up, his eyes were bruised and his lips were cut.

    “Hong Jiseok..” I said...He sighed and tried to make his way around me and I stepped in from of him, “I’m not gonna leave you alone what the hell?”

    I dragged him back into his house and refused to let neither of us go unless he’s gonna tell me what happened, I just simply hate the feeling of not knowing things and why it happens. I sat him down and begin to clean up his wound and once in awhile, he’d wince in pain and I sighed.

    “So what happened?” I said and pressed the bandaid on the side of his forehead.

    “Just a fight, that’s all.” He said bluntly.

    “Fight? But you don’t fight.” I said, my heart jumped a little because I know for sure that Jiseok would never fight anyone even if he has to fight to save his life.

    “Yeah, but this time, it’s worth it.” He rem