26 - Finale

Seunghee

"Even if my life were to change, you're the one person who I wouldn't want to leave."

Those are the words that Hanbin told me the other day, his eyes are filled with tears as he said that. I know that his heart is true and filled with sincere.

I can finally see the world back again and I can finally see my Hanbin. The smile across his face that I didn't want to forget. He is the person who make me feel like this, feeling that I was special.

Kim Hanbin always try his best to protect me, always there to save me. He is amazing and unbelievable an idiot.

I remember those days where he tells me all these sadistic words, asking me if I would stay for me. I keep saying the same thing over and over again. "Yes, I will stay."

We both create music, our hearts is devoted to it. I guess that makes our hearts one is through music. Hanbin liked composing songs, he did great with it. Sometimes, I hate seeing him tiring himself to make everyone proud of him. I used to see him laying down his head onto the keyboard. He was sleeping so softly like a baby.

Everyday, Hanbin last sentence after saying our goodbyes is, "I love you." I would reply back the same thing, "I love you too."

Hanbin rarely cried but I once saw him cry in his bedroom alone. He was sitting on his bed, crying silently by himself. I don't know what's wrong and I'm afraid to ask him that because every time I do the answer will always be, " I'm fine."

He doesn't look like he's 'fine' at all.

I want to heal his broken pieces altogether like how he did to me. Like how he make me smile all the time. The dream I used to have is him, frowning and doesn't hear me calling out for him. Maybe it's a clue for the future, a clue where Kim Hanbin will be sad and I needed to save him from that.

"Let me heal you, Hanbin." I once ask but he just smiles and lay his head down on lap staring handsomely through my eyes, "You already did."

He said that I was his happiness but when I was not there, he looked so gloomy and soulless. That's why I keep myself accompanying with him.

I remember all the times we had together. He always scribbles lyrics onto my arms and I did the same thing on his. Hanbin was a strict guy, he can be clumsy sometimes. But when it comes to work, he always has this serious expression on his face. I feel like he wanted to kill me if I do any mistakes again.

He told me that he dreamed that I was dead. I was lying down on his white bed sheets covered with his blankets and there I was. Dead. He said he cried a lot and can't believe that I was dead in front of him and so, he woke up and saw me besides him. He was thankful that the dream was not real. I believe it's just a silly dream.

That night, we slept next to each other, looking at each other's eyes. He smiled a lot. He dug his head into my neck and put his arms around my waist closely and I can feel both of us breathing against each other.

"I love you." He whispered.

He felt asleep on my chest and I saw a letter on the bedside table and opened it,

Seunghee, make me a delicious breakfast in the morning okay? Oh and you know what? Can we get married fast? I wonder how our babies look like and I want a flower shop too with my music studio next to it. If you read this, note that I will always love you. And hey, want to the reason why I gave you the moon necklace at our first meeting? Yeah, we never talked about the necklace but I'm glad we both still wearing it. Because moon can't be seperated by my night sky. You're my night sky, Seunghee. You're shining so bright when I first saw you. There's a lot for me to say to you but hear me out in the morning okay? I love you to the moon, Oh Seunghee.

The next morning, I was planning on making him the breakfast he wants. But as soon as I held his hands. He wasn't breathing anymore.

┈┈┈

I know we're meant to be together, I knew it from the moment we met. The reason why I'm still breathing is because of him. Now that you left me alone with a shattered heart, you can be free and happy up there with your closes friend. I'll be down here, praying and waiting to see you soon.

Kim Hanbin, I love you and thank you for the beautiful memories we shared.

┈┈┈

May angels protect you, Seunghee.