Suhan

I flew down the stairs in a rush, trying to hurry back out as fast as I could.

“Mom, I’m leaving!” I called out as I sat down to put my sneakers on.

As I hurriedly tied my laces in an effort to get to Aya's as quickly as possibly to help finish planning the funeral, I wasn’t paying attention to the way my mother stormed out of the study. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked with furrowed eyebrows.

I stopped mid-tie and looked at her, “To Aya’s…?” I slowly said.

“Oh no you’re not, Young Lady.” My mother said.

A confused and slightly irritated expression grew on my face as I stood up, eyeing her. “Mom, I told you I need to be there for my friend. He just lost his grandmother, remember?”  

“Suhan, we leave for China tomorrow morning! You haven’t even started packing!” Mom said back.

China.

Oh crap.

We were supposed to go visit dad for two weeks. I had completely forgotten about that trip because I was so busy with Kai.

“Mom, I- er, the- the funeral is in like two days," I said, helplessly, "I really need to be there for him…”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Suhan, but you can’t go out today. You have to finish packing and then we’re leaving first thing in the morning. Your friend will be okay.” She said back, turning on her heels and walking away.

I don’t know why that bothered me so much, but my “slight irritation” was slowly boiling into full blown anger.

“Mom, can’t we go after the funeral? I have to be there. He has no one now.” I pleaded as I walked after her.

“Suhan, I’m sure the boy will be fine. His parents will be there and all of his other relatives. You going isn’t going to make a difference for him.”

And my anger meter went up.

My hands clenched into fits. “No he doesn’t. His mother left him and his father is in prison. His friends are the only people he has.”

As soon as those words slipped from my mouth, I immediately regretted it as I watched the clear shock and horror appear on my mom’s face as she stared at me wide-eyed. “His father is in prison?! " She gasped, "Suhan, what kind of people have you been seeing?? Is this how I raised you? To hang out with such hooligans? You are definitely not going anymore, especially now. I don’t want you to see this boy anymore. End of discussion.” She turned away from me, once again.

“Mom-”

“I said, end of discussion, Suhan.” She spat, without even looking at me.

My blood felt like it was about boil through my skin and my head felt like it was about to blow straight off my neck as steam poured my ears.

“No.” I whispered, glaring at her.

Mom blinked, and then looked up at me. “Excuse me?”

“I said, no.” I hissed, my body beginning to shake out of anger and anxiety. “I’m not going to China. I’m staying here, I’m gonna go to the funeral, I’m gonna be there for Kai, and you’re not gonna stop me. That’s the end of the discussion.”

Mom narrowed her eyes at me as she placed two hands on her hips in a challenging stance. “Suhan-”

“Mom, please for once in your life, stop being Kim Yoojin and just be my mom! I can't take it anymore! Please, for once in your life, let me do what I want!” I begged. “If you just started being my mom, you would know how important it is for me to be there for him. You would know how I much I care about him, how much I like him. But of course you wouldn’t know because you’ve never taken the chance to get to know me! Me, your own daughter! You probably don’t even know my favorite color.” I said as my eyes started to brim with tears at the cold truth said out loud from my own mouth. “If you ever even once cared about me at all, please don’t make me to China with you. I can always go see Dad, but Kai needs me right now. You go, Mom. I know how much you miss him. But I can't go. Kai needs me. Please, Mom. I’m begging you.”

3rd POV

“So Lim Ssem says he can come but here’s a list of the people who will try to, but aren’t sure yet. I still think we should plan for them though. I’ve already crossed off the people who say they can’t come. We can go to the funeral house Saturday afternoon and then have the brunch at Soo's place Sunday morning.”

Aya stared at Kai as he spoke. He hadn’t stopped talking about the plans for the funeral since the day before and he hadn’t stopped moving. He was either pacing back and forth, talking on the phone while walking, going from room to room, he hadn’t sat down once.

“Kai.” She said softly, taking his hand when as he walked past her. He stopped and glanced at her.

“What?” He asked with a soft smirk.

“It’s okay, man.” Aya told him as her eyes began to tear up. Kai looked at the others and saw them all giving him the same look, even Aya’s parents.

Kai let out a soft but incredulous chuckle. “Oh my God you guys, I’m fine. Chill. Halmoni passed away. Yeah, it was sad but things like that happen. We couldn’t expect her to live forever, right? I’m fine.” He said light-heartedly. “She wouldn’t want us all moping around for weeks after her death which is why she wanted a party when she died. Parties are for happy people, not sad lumps. So buck up you guys and help me plan.”

And then he returned to his phone calls and plans. As if it was just another regular weekday afternoon.

The gang all looked at each other, worriedly and sadly. Aya shook her head and went to the kitchen, followed by her mom.

“Why won’t he let us in?” Aya asked as tears began to flow from her eyes.

Aya’s mom hushed her daughter and pulled her into her arms. “People grieve in different ways, baby. Let him be. If you push him, he’s only gonna coil even further away from us. He’ll talk when he’s ready.”

Aya sniffled and wiped her tears as she heaved a heavy sigh. “I just want him to be okay.”

“We all do, babe. We all do.”

There was a knock at the door then and Aya went go get it, knowing exactly who was there.

She opened the door and a soft smile appeared on across her face when she saw her best friend. “Hey.”

Suhan gave her a sad smile in return. “Hi.” She said as she walked inside. “How is he?”

“The same.” She responded, nodding over to him, talking to the caterers about the party. Suhan’s shoulders deflated in disappointment. She took a deep breath, tearing her eyes away from him and toward the others.

"Hey guys." She said with a small smile, greeting her friends. They all greeted her back, except for D.O who went to talk to Kai.

"Oh, Suhan, you're here?" Aya's mom said as she walked out from the kitchen.

"Yeah." Suhan nodded and bowed her head.

"Come here, honey." The older woman said and took Suhan into her arms. The latter didn't realize how much she needed that at that moment. She let herself melt into Aya's mom's arms and engulf her motherly love, something she didn't know how much she wanted. The hug was soothing and healing, the two things that Suhan yearned to feel for.

"How are you?" She asked, after pulling away.

Suhan lightly shrugged. "I'm okay. How are you?"

Aya's mom smiled. "I'm fine, sweetheart."

Suhan nodded. "That's good. Is there anything that you want me to help with?"

"Actually, if you want to help Taemin and I prepare dinner tonight, you're free to do that." Aya's mom said to her.

Suhan softly smiled. "I would like that."

The older woman grinned.