" i'm sorry i was busy , i couldn't make it " from yongie , received at 5:00 a.m

it's been hours since i've read his message , but still it feels wrong somehow , it was 3:00 p.m & i was on my way for the voice training center when yonghwa finally called me .. 

yonghwa : " hey " 

i replied to him : " hi " 

" about yesterday , i'm sorry i couldn't make it " yonghwa said to me but it didn't sound like he was really sorry for it ..

" never mind , it's okay " i said to him since he was busy so what can have we done anyway 

" we'll manage to celebrate later ok " yonghwa said , still it sounded like he never planned for it anyway , maybe he's so busy .. 

" sure " i replied 

" ........." both of us were silent for a moment , it never have been like that unless something went wrong between us 

" have you watched the press yesterday ? " i asked him trying to change the mood 

" yes i did .." he replied calmly 

".........." another moment of silence 

" yonghwa , are you okay , something happened ? " i asked worried about him 

" no , no there's nothing .. really " he replied but still he sounded unsure 

" your voice sounds a little ... ? " i was asking him but he interrupted me 

" i have to go now " he said and after a bye he ended the call ... that left me more lost than today morning .. i wondered what's wrong 

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the same day at 6:00 p.m , tiffany unnie called me to support me & told me about the snsd gathering next week to celebrate with me .. 

later jungshin called me too .. 

" heyy Seo Scarlett !! you looked beautiful at the press conference " jungshin congratulated me 

" thanks chingu " i replied happily 

" sorry i'm late congratulating you , i should have called yesterday " jungshin said 

" it's okay chingu , i heard cnblue were busy yesterday so yeah i understand " i told him cheerfully so he would relax 

" we were busy ??? ... wae !! " jungshing asked me wondering ..

" yonghwa ... told me ... you were busy " i told jungshin while thinking of what i am saying but jungshin's words and my words didn't make sense when combined .. 

" yeah .... you meant yesterday right? yes yes we were so busy , my bad i forgot about it since days are getting similar hahaha ... hahahaha ... yes we were so busy " jungshin said but he sounded as if he's just confirming that he's lying right now .. or am i just overthinking !! 

" you should come and watch my performance later " i asked him , and ended the last topic since it's going no where , just giving me more confusion 

" yes , i'll come for sure .. also cnblue wants to celebrate with you later , we'll arrange a date ok ? " jungshin said honestly 

" yes , for sure .. we will " 

i ended the call , more confused than ever , but i had to continue the voice training anyway ... 

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( 2 days later ) 

2 days later it was the third day since my musical press conference and my first day going to SM building .. i thought of calling yonghwa since i was worried about him , but something stopped me maybe jungshin call was the main reason ..

walking the SM corridors , everyone who saw me congratulated me about my role .. until i met minho and jonghyun from shinee we crossed paths and stopped to chat together for a while .. 

" i should get a discount or something , i've asked everyone i know to watch your coming musical , i don't want to pay for a ticket to watch you " minho nagging seohyun 

" go ask SM CEO , why asking me ! if it was up to me , i wouldn't have allowed your attendance in my musical from the start " seohyun said 

" i think if i don't attend , the venu would be totally empty , who would watch musicals anyway nowadays " minho said 

" there are still people who got a musical sense unlike you " seohyun said flipping her hair with ego while laughing 

" JJM is a good actor too , i think the musical will be successful " jonghyun said 

" yeah , he is " seohyun replied nodding in agreement 

" i didn't call you earlier cause i sent my congrats with yonghwa , didn't he tell you about it ?" jonghyun asked seohyun 

" really !! i think he forgot " seohyun said smiling 

" hahaha maybe he was drunk then , i'm the one to be blamed since i asked him when he was drinking with lee joon saturday night " jonghyun said laughing 

" did you say saturday night ?!! the press conference night ! " seohyun widened her eyes , and seriously asked jonghyun waiting for his reply 

" yea.. yeah , i'm sure cause it was your press conference night .. " jonghyun said startled , since seohyun got serious all of a sudden asking him like if he was at the police station ..

minho understood the situation anyway , and thought ( yonghwa really messed up this time ) 

seohyun was lost in her thoughts shocked ( so he wasn't busy after all , he just didn't come because he didn't want to , while i waited for him for hours like a fool , what's more he lied to me later ! my most important day he abandoned me because he didn't feel like he was in the mood for me , is that it ! , whatever his reason i can't forgive him ) 

minho snapped a finger in front of seohyun's eyes to wake her up from spacing out .. " are you okay " he asked her 

" yes i am , i'm totally okay .. oppa what time was it when you met him that day ?" seohyun asked 

" mmm i met him when i went 10:00 p.m , but i leaved at 12:00 a.m and he was still there " jonghyun said 

" thanks so much oppa " seohyun said with a wide smile and left them with a stable steps .. 

minho watched her going , he thought ( something went wrong indeed ) .. 

" jonghyun , call yonghwa and tell him what happened just now " minho asked jonghyun seriously 

" what !! why ! tell him about what , i don't understand " jonghyun said confused 

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( later ) 

at FNC i was at my room trying to compose for my solo , but i'm distracted thinking about what i did earlier to seohyun , breaking my promise and abandoning her when she expected from me to be there & more important question why did i even do that ? ,, i walked across the room in circles , i thought i need to confess to her about the truth and my feelings , i need to confess that i was just drinking in some bar like a coward rather than meeting her and hearing from her directly .. i need to tell her s