triple update #part 2

next day ~ 5:00 p.m ~ MOE café

" i can't believe i'm meeting up with you noona ~ " jonwoo fluttered his eyes open a few times making sure he wasn't daydreaming  

i smiled faintly , even though i was against it but i gave in to my insecurities in the end
hoping that such a reckless decision would help end my misery and stop those wild thoughts torturing my sanity 
 
i stole the 30 minutes break of the practice to come here instead and meet up with jonwoo then return back to SM within the time limit 

" please drink your hot chocolate , noona  " jonwoo suggested with a smile 

" thanks " i gave a quick nod and embraced the mug between my hands however not lifting it from the table an inch 

" i hope the cafe isn't dull for your liking " he talked again referring to the uncomfortable vibes i radiated with since my arrival here

the meeting place he chose ; was his friend's café and the reason why a paparazzi never stepped a foot here was because it barely got any customers , i didn't feel the slightest thrill of anyone recognizing me because no one was there except us

" anyia , it's comfy and relaxing , i hope your friend will do well managing it "

he breathed a sigh of relieve and looked at me with a twinkling excited eyes 
" please feel free to ask me anything , i'll never ever tell anyone and definitely not yonghwa hyung either " 

his words threw shades on my soul as he just reminded me of how filthy i'm acting by coming here secretly 

 i dropped my gaze to stare at my drink for a moment self reflecting 

 " noona ~ " 

i took a deep breath and rose my head again ,directly looking at him and asking " about yonghwa ..ssi , do you think .. do you know .. have you heard .." 

" noona ~ ask one question at a time " he mocked and i blushed for being a fool 

he wasn't even close to yonghwa and just a company trainee so i was at loss of what to ask him exactly 

" being a trainee at FNC , have you noticed yonghwa involved with some specific woman ? " i asked cautiously , my eyes wavering and my fingers faintly numbing 

thankfully he didn't laugh it out ! he retread back in his seat and rolled his eyes to the back of his head thinking about it seriously

" that's hard to decide , hyung is almost involved with everyone in the company , he's everywhere " 

 " so you didn't witness him romantically involved with anyone right ? " i answered confirming rather than questioning , i was just getting calmer at heart when he talked again 
" romantically ? hyung is soft to women in general so it's hard to decide whose his girl .. " 

i gulped my nervousness , his every word was playing physically with my heart , twisting it right and left and  painfully squeezing it ..

i had to stop it all or my heart might break at once 

" it's okay if you don't know anything " i waved a hand in the air discarding the discussion

" other than .. aoa yuna i mentioned before , mmm .. a woman he's involved with .. " he pulled his hair thinking hard and i could sense his sincerity , however apparently he didn't know anything or else he would have blabbered it all the moment he saw me 

he flickered his eyes open abruptly and slammed a hand on the table as he remembered 
" wait ! how did i forget about her - that actress !! " 

i froze in my seat blood drained out of my veins , turning white and mentally denying whatever he came up with 

he continued energetically with a lit eyes " there is that FNC actress from busan , the mushy pushy girl " 

i asked at the same instant " shinhye unnie ? " 

he tilted his head in surprise " park shinhye ? isn't she dating already ? " 

i caught up with his words later and questioned " FNC actress from busan ? " 

" i never thought you're still considering shinhye as your rival after all those years , but i would question their friendship too since lately ...  " 

" wait " i interjected as thoughts entangled in my head and a painful headache struck and almost crashed my skull bones  

i needed to breath ..

my heart trembled in disappointment .. meeting jonwoo just rubbed on my wounds and added to my confusion , but it all proved that something was wrong indeed .. i wasn't updated at all about what i needed to know concerning yonghwa's life 

jonwoo caught up with my confusion and assured " noona please don't worry about it " 

don't worry about what ! it's not like i'll ever forgive him if he ever cheated on me .. 

" let's start all over again , noona " 

i nodded obediently 

" first , drink you hot chocolate  " he ordered 

i nodded again following his order and sipped the drink 

he crossed his arms on his chest and asked " now tell me exactly what did you hear that made you go around questioning hyung's relationships " 

i told him about the latest rumor of singer A and actress B going on vacation abroad , he took out his phone and checked out the rumor with much attention , scratching his chin and processing every word written there 

" hmmm i wouldn't blame you for suspecting hyung " he locked his phone placing it aside and looked at me again

 " i thought he might have went to that vacation with shinhye " 

he nodded in a deep understanding and spoke " honestly before that vacation rumor, lately shinhye visits FNC a lot , her SNS is continuously hinting for CNBLUE , i would say she's very supportive but it's getting weird " 

i was too busy i didn't get to check out other celebrities SNS but i can imagine what he was talking about since it wasn't a first 

however her public support was never my point of concern , it was the way she casually brought up my man to prove me something 

he continued " according to the rumor , it's a level A top actress plus they're friends on public so that abolish the mushy pushy actress possibility ; leaving us with shinhye possibility " 

i nodded approving his conclusion , so the other mushy pushy woman is out of it .. 

 " but jonwoo , why do you call her mushy pushy? " i asked out of curiosity

he laughed hard and replied " that jung actress is addicted to gifts , abroad vacations and fancy restaurants dates , she acts so cute that push your limit buttons and not in a good way " 

" so you don't like cute girls ! " i raised a brow unconvinced , she can't be that bad i thought

he smirked and flipped his bangs with inflated ego 
" i'm a little picky when it comes to girls , noona " 
then he pouted in severe agony and continued " plus i'm poor " 

i giggled for his playful show , changing expressions that swiftly was funny hence i acknowledged him as a talented entertainer 

~ but wouldn't that mean yonghwa gets pressured by her aeygo too !?

" however yonghwa hyung apparently likes it " he answered my damn thought

i clenched my jaw agitated " he likes what ?! " 

" her aeygo " he answered nonchalantly drinking his juice ! 

my eye twitched at the trivial thought of breaking my boyfriend's neck , he surely got the gut to like other women's aeygo or whatever ! 

i fixed my gaze on jonwoo drink and muttered with a trembling tone " why do you keep talking about yonghwa like that ? he's not a womanizer " 

 the more i asked about yonghwa the more i got hurt , the yonghwa i know was certainly someone else 

he widened his eyes at my hopelessness and clicked his tongue in empathy 
" i'm just telling you what i saw , i never claimed that i saw hyung going to a hotel with her ! " 

i didn't know that my distress deprived my whole strength until my anger spell faded and i was left with a paretic numb body .. 
why didn't yonghwa tell me i wasn't enough ! why didn't he just ask me whatever he wanted , i already went all the way to make him happy and trusted him to protect my heart so why would he give up on me that easily 

my tears ran down my cheeks as my sorrow filled me up , the past few days i lost my self confidence , my trust and a more lot of other precious feelings i had for him ..
he was my first and only man since i knew about love so i knew that if i lost him i will lose more of myself along the way , more than whatever could render me a bright soul again ! 

" noona , i'm not against you , i want for hyung to look at you too but you can't expect him to stay loyal forever " 

i wiped my tears and whined  " why can't he stay loyal forever " 

" people change , their feelings , preference and their priorities , you were both young when ... " 

i shook my head vigorously disapproving , he certainly doesn't know what kind of person is yonghwa 
 " even if yonghwa changed , even if his feelings for me faded , he's not the type to cheat " 

" but if he's not dating you , you can't consider it as cheating , am i right ?  " 

i realized my emotions were getting me in a soon trouble revealing unnesscary details

 " never mind what i just said , i'm kinda obsessive when i have a crush " i faked a nervous smile on my miserable face and collected my bag and coat from the next seat intending to leave

he blabbered a foul word about yonghwa and ended his mental line with ' lucky ' 

i stood up and pointed a threatning finger " you better watch your tongue or i'll tell yonghwa about this " 

he smirked teasing " you better think about how to tell him about the other million thing you need to tell " 

even without his last notice i was determined to talk to yonghwa probably about everything , once i see him i'm definitely going to confront him with my insecurities 

jonwoo stood up too and walked me all the way downstairs 

i wiped my tear traces and apologized with a tired tone " i'm sorry jonwoo , earlier i acted out of it " 

 " no no no ! it's all my friend's fault , his café is too dull and depressing ! i always feel like crying when i come here " 

i smiled appreciating his efforts to cheer me up as i watched over my steps on the stairs
 " i like the place , it's not dull or anything .. stop saying those or your friend will feel bad " 

" i swear , if you ever get to know that friend of mine ;you'll want to make him feel bad too " he faked a sigh and i chuckled 

he smiled for my smile and joked again " please smile more " 

my manager was waiting somewhere outside and we decided to bid our farewell in the humble building entrance , away from netizens eyes

" i don't know how to thank you probably " i smiled at him genuinely , he was a good listener and i needed to pour my insecurities to someone without getting laughed at 

he shyly scratched the back of his head " anyia it was nothing , yuri's phone number if possible ? " 

 " what did you say ? "  

he hit my shoulder playfully " i'm just kidding noona~ " 

i gave him my hostile stare " i doubt it was a joke " 

he got his hopes up again and widened his eyes " so can i really get her number ? " 

i knew it !! 

" i'm leaving " i threw the words coldly and walked a step toward the entrance shut door

i was caught off guard by the neck as he circled an arm throttling me " noona , i swear it's a joke " 

" keep your hands off , kid " i wriggled from his grip trying to slid away but his muscular arm effortlessly hooked me firmly 

" who are you calling a kid ? i'm not that much younger than you , it's just a negligible couple of years " 

i froze for a moment alarmed by his change of tone , rather than the bright childish kid i've been dealing with earlier , he slipped into his confident manly attire so suddenly getting a physical control over me , the blade of his arm firmly pressed against my throat

thinking about it rationally , he was keeping a tight hold over my neck without actually groping me in any uncomfortable intimate way so i resorted to talking " let me go or i'll hurt you " 

" promise me something first " 

 " it'll really hurt and you might end up infertile " i threatened calmly and tried to slip away again but it seemed impossible when he's that determined to get a hold of me

" no one will get hurt if you listen to my wish " 

i frowned at his use of words , he was definitely going overbroad with that joke of his !  even though the exit door was just a step away and i could hear people in the street passing by yet i felt awfully isolated from the outer world ! 

whether he was a good friend or a creepy enemy ; he succeeded to frighten me 

 " say your freaking wish "

he whispered " i want to be you BFF , is that possible noona ? "

my phone rang in my hand and i felt a little relieved 

" my manager is getting impatience , he'll come to check on me any moment " 

" if he's going to help you make the decision , let's wait for his arrival " he hissed fearlessly 

" jonwoo .. " i rose my tone displaying my seriously ominous side     

" just answer if i'm allowed to be your friend " 

" NO ! " i answered and he let go of me instantly 

i turned around to glare at him as my chest heaved up and down with angry strenuous breathing - to find him laughing hard at me !  

i tilted my head trying to figure out his mentality , and he wiped his laughing tear answering my suspicions  " noona ~ , you're so cute " 

he's crazy 

i glared at him even more angrily and he whined innocently " noona~ i just enjoy acting , forgive me " 

" you enjoy acting so you go around freaking out people ! " i scolded 

he gestured his hands deeply asking for forgiveness " i'm sorry noona but it was fun " 

i snapped " yaaah ! you aren't even apologizing probably "  

he collected all what he get of sincerity and bowed deeply " i'm really sorry " 

i was flaring with anger crossing my arms on my chest and judging him hard for a few minut