MARCH 2013

“Why Jessica?” Taecyeon asked.

“Taec… after last night I have I figured out that I no longer have feelings for you” I told him, with my voice trembling, holding my tears back and try to not look him in the eye. Last night was the best and worst night that I had in a while. Best, the with Taec; worst, the talk with Taec and Tyler. I felt so vulnerable when I came home, to a drunk Tyler begging me to like him. Tyler and I had a talk in the morning before I went out and talk to Taecyeon.

“Jessica, just think about your future with me. I know you don’t like me but I can be the best guy in the world for you. I am willing to change all my bad habits that you don’t like just so I can be fit for you… just accept my love, please”

Tyler’s words kept running in my mind.

“Bull!” He said as he slapped the table creating a loud bang.

“Taec, please” I said trying to calm him down.

“Jessica do you even know what you’re saying right now just last night you were begging me to get back together. Last night I have made a decision to go against everyone just so I can have you by my side again. Last night you told me you love me? Tell me if I got the details wrong”

He said his facial expression was stern his voice was strong.

“Taecyeon, I have realized that I kind of developed feelings for Tyler” I said softly.

“” He chuckled. “You are really something Jessica, don’t tell me that Tyler was on your mind when you were Taecyeon last night. Do you really think that I would believe you?”

“Taecyeon, please don’t make it so hard for me” I said.

“How am I making this hard for you? I really can’t understand you at all. I don’t even know why are we talking right now are you breaking up with me?”

“Ye-yes” I stammered.

Taecyeon pulled my hands and held it by just his touch tears escaped from my eyes. Taecyeon, you have no idea how much this hurts me.

“Look at me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me anymore” He asked.

By then, Tyler entered the room and kissed me on the cheek. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“What’s up?” He greeted.

I looked up to Taecyeon and saw him glaring at us. Taecyeon released my hand and starred at me he had those sharp eyes.

He stood up, pointed his index finger to me and said “I hope the best things for you. Please be happy and make sure you take good care of her” he then said to Tyler.

He left the place that’s the last time I saw Taecyeon ever again.

--

MAY 2013

I still felt heavy since the last time that I talked to Taecyeon.

                Are you free to have dinner tonight?

                                ~Tyler

                Next time please, I want to rest.

                                ~Jessica

                Okay. Take care then. I love you

                                ~Tyler.

Jessica, what are you doing in your life! I said while I threw my phone on my bed and decided to join the girls on the living room. The whole of SNSD was just laying around the living room and talking things out till a package arrived.

“I’ll get it” Tiffany said as she went to the door.

“What’s that?” Taeyeon.

“I don’t know but it’s heavy” Tiffany said as she placed the box on the table. Seohyun then went over to check the package, there’s a letter here.

“Hi girls, we miss you a lot. Hope you like our present please check out our comeback by 12am. Love your 2PM oppas” Seohyun read.

“Woah” Hyoyeon said as take out the albums. “There are 3 versions?”

“Yup, Taec said that there’s version A, B and Grand. Can’t believe they gave us every version” Tiffany chuckled.

“Wait, it’s personalized… I mean this is for you Yuri” Hyoyeon said as she handed the wrapped album to Yuri.

“They sure worked hard for this” Taeyeon said as she browsed through the album praising the boys a job well done for writing songs.

“It’s 12 now! Let’s watch the MV” Tiffany said.

“Wow they sure suit the mature image” Yuri said.

As I watch the MV, I still can’t help it but look for Taecyeon at every second.

Baby stop – come back to me, you know I only have you
I know I did you wrong, you’re right
As soon as you left me, this longing grew and my emotions rose up
Now I only know you alone
I don’t know why I didn’t say this for all this time
I’m sorry and I love you

(Comeback when you hear this song)

His rap hit me hard and I found out that he was the one who wrote the lyrics. I go over the albums to check his compositions.

I can’t do anything because of you all day
I think my heart has been taken away by you
It’s as if you’re right next to me
My head is drunk with thoughts of last night
I can’t sober up, it’s all because of you, I’m going crazy, I want you
I want to have you, I want to touch you
I’m falling for you, deeper and deeper

--

As soon as we say goodbye, I miss you
Should we go far away somewhere so we can’t ever part?
Even if I throw away my career, nevertheless
I think I might be happy
I don’t think my body’s pulse is normal, I’m crazy
That’s what you do. Please help me
 

(A.D.T.O.Y)

“You okay?” Tiffany said as she entered my room.

“Yeah was just checking their new album”

“You’re bad at lying” Tiffany said as she sat in front of me.

“He didn’t even bother signing my album” I said as I placed the albums on the bedside table.

“Sica, why are being like this? You’re the one who completely broke up with him”

I did not respond but just looked at her.

“I supported your decision thinking that it would make you happier but look at you. Those eye circles are reaching your cheeks now” She said smiling.

“I thought I would be happier…”

“Please be happy”

“Do you think he would answer the phone if I would call Taec?”

“He changed his number” Tiffany said.

I let out a deep sigh and threw my phone away.

--

APRIL 2013

I was shocked when Taecyeon joined We Got Married Global with GuiGui, a Taiwanese actress.

Krystal and Amber were in the living room actually watching the show but I can’t help but hear their conversation while I was in the kitchen preparing lunch.

“Did you know that Taecyeon oppa just joined that show to fill in his schedules” Amber said.

“Huh? What are you saying?” said Krystal.

“His manager did not like Taecyeon oppa to join this show because his schedule is so jam packed already. But Taecyeon oppa said its okay if he does not have time to rest. He liked it better that way”

“I think I get Taecyeon oppa, is trying to get busy as much as he can”

“I know, its crazy comeback preparations, taping for Who are You, shooting for a movie and a variety show”

“Well he’s trying to move on” Krystal said as they both continued to watch the show.

“Woah thank you Unnie” Amber said as I placed the food in front of them.

“Why did you change the channel?” Krystal asked as Amber took control of the remote.

Amber just glared at Krystal but I kind of get what she meant.

--

AUGUST 2013

“Happy Birthday Tiffany!”

“Thanks for coming guys” Tiffany said as she hugged me and Tyler. Walking hand in hand with Tyler we went over the table at the corner where the other SNSD members are.

“Have you seen 2PM?” Hyoyeon asked as sat right across me.

“Nah-still stuck in traffic, Nichkh