Your POV

"Sweetie, you know that was really rude, walking out like that. Thank heavens that Doctor Jung is such a considerate person." Umma said calmly as she walked into my room. I was sitting at my desk, doing homework. I heard her sit down on my bed. "What was that about?" She reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Your dreams being shattered... Is there something wrong at school?"

I shook my head, "Ani..."

"Then...?"

"Umma, my dream isn't to be a doctor." I said quietly. She didn't say anything, she breathed in calmly. I sighed and placed down my pen, before slowly turning to face her. I stared right into her eyes and repeated, "Umma, my dream isn't to be a doctor."

Her eyelids fluttered and she said, "Well, I guess you can always be a dentist... It's similar anywa-"

I shook my head, "Umma, I don't want to be either."

"But sweetie, you have to. You must. It's your dream." She grabbed my hand and smiled, saying, "I know there's a lot of pressure lately with the engagement and all. I'll reject the fashion show. I know that you don't want to be in it, and you only said yes to be polite. I didn't want you to be in it either."

I almost laughed at that, but I didn't. "Umma," I said, "It's not my dream. It never was. It was appa's and your dream to have a doctor daughter because-"

She cut me off and said sternly, "~~~~~, don't-"

"Umma, just listen to me! Just listen to me once! It wasn't my dream! It was unnie's dream! Don't push her dreams onto me just because she's not alive-" I was cut off when umma slapped me on the face. I stared at her in disbelief. 

"Don't say it!" She hissed, tears b her eyes. "Your sister... don't say it!"

"Unnie is dead." I said, tears blurring my eyes, "And you can't do anything about it. You can't bring her back. You can't bring her back by pushing her dream onto me and making me her. We're two different people and you can't change me into her. I'm not her. I'll never be." I looked at her, pleadingly, "Umma... can't you just accept me as I am and stop molding and changing me into Hesung-unnie?"

Tears slid down umma's cheek. She wiped them away quickly and plastered a smile onto her face. She stood up and touched my cheek, "Sweetie, I know it's been a stressful month, but it'll be over soon. The engagement's just around the corner. How about you take a few days off to prepare and rest up so you can think clearly?" She kissed my forehead brushed away the tear that was slipping down my cheek, before walking out of my room.

When she was out, I bit my lip, trying not to cry. The tears came out and I let out a cry in frustration. 

The first person that came to mind right at that moment was my Chunji... I grabbed my phone and dialled his number.

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"So... how was your unnie like?" Chunji asked over the phone.

We have been speaking for almost an hour now and when I called him crying, he panicked and almost rushed over if I hadn't told him not to. I had stopped crying but the evidence of tears was still there. "Unnie... she was perfect." I smiled sadly, "She was older than me by almost eight years. We were never that close even though we were sisters. It was like... she was on a whole other level from me. Everyone adored her. She was sweet, caring, loving, filial, smart, cheerful, beautiful... Just perfect. Every morning when she came downstairs for breakfast, it was like the sun had finally rose. She was so bright and cheerful." I looked up at the light when the tears started to come again, "Ever since she was young, she had wanted to be a doctor. It was her dream." I paused.

"Where is she now?" Chunji asked, curious. 

I sniffed and said, "She died." The line was silent so I continued, "It was an accident. I was only eight at that time and she was fifteen, turning sixteen. I remember everything that happened that day. It was like an ordinary day... everything was fine. Perfect. The sun shone, the sky was blue, the birds sang. Appa had left early in the morning for a business trip to Taiwan. Umma was fussing over the maids and all. Unnie was going to go out to the beach that day with her boyfriend and other friends." I gulped, my voice shaky. "She had kissed me goodbye. I told her that swimming was unsafe and urged her not to go... She just laughed lightly and promised to come back safely as well as bringing me back something."

"I'm sorry..."

I shook my head, "Don't be. You didn't know."

"Then what happened?"

"They were swimming, unnie and her friends. Her boyfriend had gone home earlier because of some family matters. They were all having so much fun but then one of her friends got caught in a rip current. Everyone was having too much fun to notice, except for unnie. And unnie..." I took in a breath, "Being unnie swam out to save her friend." I paused. "Her friends dragged her out of the water, performed CPR, but it was too late. She was gone. She saved her friend... but she couldn't save herself... I guess the ocean wanted a companion that day..." Silent tears slipped down my cheek. "I hate her. She broke her promise... she never came home. She's the reason why umma and appa are like this to me."

"~~~~~-ah... You don't hate her... I can hear it in your voice... You love your unnie don't you? You miss her as much as your parents do and I have no doubt you want her back more than they do. Your sister... she's your idol isn't she?"

"Maybe..." I whispered. Slowly opening my music box, I took out a simple necklace that hung an intricate sea-shell. I touched it, affectionately and smiled. 

=Flashback=

"Hesung... wanted to give this to you." I looked up at Hesung-unnie's boyfriend. His eyes were red and his face was tired. He held out a necklace. "She had left it in my pocket when she bought it." He slowly placed it onto my tiny hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to save her..." He murmured, as he hugged me. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

I held the necklace out, looking at it, as he hugged me sobbing, and apologizing.

=Flashback End=

Your POV End

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