Yixing doesn't pick up, and the call goes directly to voice mail. Joonmyun is disappointed, but he tries to remain optimistic despite his usual tendency to fear the worst in every situation. It was probably just too late at night. Yixing was probably just asleep. He'll probably answer the phone if Joonmyun calls him the next day. Everything is okay.

Joonmyun does call him the next day, as soon as he gets home from the office, and Yixing still does not pick up. It's okay, Joonmyun tries to convince his always overactive brain. Yixing is probably at work or at the bar or just plain busy. There's a sense of worry in Joonmyun's gut now, but still enough uncharacteristic optimism to cancel it out (if Joonmyun wasn't so desperate to make things work out in his favor, he would recognize said optimism for what it is: blatant denial). It's okay. At some point, Yixing will see that Joonmyun called, and he will probably call him back or at least text him. It's okay. Everything is okay.

Except everything is not okay. Because even after the sheer amount of calls Joonmyun makes to Yixing over the span of a week end up reaching a number that is dangerously close to Obsessive Stalker-territory, Yixing still doesn't call him back. He doesn't text, either, not even to tell Joonmyun to stop calling him, which Joonmyun honestly would've preferred over the complete radio silence from Yixing's end. The lack of communication is worrying.

Eventually, Joonmyun stops leaving missed calls and starts leaving voicemails instead. It begins pretty simple with requests for Yixing to call him when he gets the message and asking if they can talk, please, but after several days with no response at all, Joonmyun's hope dwindles, and he gives up on that approach as well. He calls Yixing again, and this time he spills his heart, lets Yixing know exactly how he feels and how sorry he is for ruining things between them, reiterates how much of a stupid idiot he is for doing what he did, tells him all the things he would have wanted to tell him if they were to meet face to face. He would have preferred to say these things in person, but Yixing has shown no reaction, so this is the best Joonmyun can do.

However, no matter what he says and how many increasingly begging messages he leaves, Joonmyun still doesn't get any kind of reply. In the end, he does the only thing he can think of: he goes to Yixing's apartment. This, arguably, makes him seem even more like a creepy stalker. It's desperate and pathetic, but, then again, so is Joonmyun, and with all the embarrassing things he has already said, he doesn't think he can really sink much lower at this point. He stopped caring a while back. He needs to do this. He needs Yixing in his life.

When Joonmyun stands in front of Yixing's door, there is a sense of déjà vu in the lump of nerves that catches in his throat. It's been weeks since the last time he was here, months since he felt this worked up standing before this very apartment, but it feels like he is reliving a moment of terror he has already been through once, like he's experiencing the cold sweat and frenetic heart rhythm he associates with panic all over again.

Briefly, he entertains the thought of turning around and fleeing while he still has the chance. He decides against it, though. So many times, he has made things worse for himself because he tends to run away from everything when the situation becomes too intense, that's what even landed him here in the first place. So he stays put. He needs to fix this. It's time to face his fears head on.

Joonmyun forces his hand not to shake as he reaches out to ring the doorbell. He waits with bated breath for the sound of footsteps coming from inside the apartment, for the door to finally open, for him to finally see Yixing again after what feels like an entire eternity without him. Joonmyun is still not quite sure what to say, but he'll work things out. He'll figure things out. He can do this.

The door remains shut, though, and everything is quiet. There is no sign of Yixing whatsoever. Frowning, Joonmyun rings the doorbell again, and when that still doesn't change anything, he tries one more time. He had already prepared himself for the possibility that Yixing wouldn't be home when he came over – even though he had picked what he believed to be the most opportune time – and yet he can't help but feel disappointed by the lack of response.

All the worries he had tried to repress come back now. Did something happen to Yixing? Is that why he hasn't been answering? Did he get hurt? Did he hurt himself? Joonmyun hasn't seen him or talked to him for several weeks, he would have no way of knowing if Yixing really got injured somehow. Yixing could even be laying dead inside this very apartment for all Joonmyun knows. Maybe he should contact the police to see if they know anything.

The disappointment and the concern are soon both replaced by a bout of naïve anticipation at the sound of approaching footsteps coming from somewhere behind Joonmyun. He quickly turns around, hoping to see Yixing walking in his direction, only to deflate as he is let down once more. It's not Yixing. It's just a stranger, likely a neighbor, heading towards one of the apartments adjacent to Yixing's. He's dressed in dark clothes and wears a fierce expression under his long, inky black bangs, and he doesn't spare Joonmyun a single glance, instead choosing to keep his eyes fastened on the floor.

But, Joonmyun thinks to himself, maybe this guy knows if Yixing is alright. After all, he lives right next to Yixing. Perhaps he knows what's going on, or maybe he has seen or heard something that can help Joonmyun ease his worried mind, at least, so Joonmyun clears his throat and says: “Excuse me?” The guy turns around to face Joonmyun with a stare so cold, Joonmyun would have probably retreated had he not spent so much time around the likes of Kyungsoo. All he does now is cower slightly. A definite improvement. “Sorry to bother you, do you happen to know Yixing? Zhang Yixing? He-he lives here?” Joonmyun gestures towards the apartment he's standing in front of.

The guy lets his eyes slide over to look at the door momentarily before he looks at Joonmyun again. “Yes,” is all he says. He's speaking so quietly, Joonmyun almost hast to strain his ears to hear him, and his voice is far softer than what you would expect from someone with his tough demeanor, but Joonmyun knows better than to be surprised by things like that at this point. He has experienced too much in these past few months for it to faze him much.

“Do you know if something happened to him?” he asks.

It takes a surprising amount of time for the guy to reply. “No.”

These monosyllabic responses don't exactly give Joonmyun much to work with, but it's all he has right now, so he keeps trying: “Well, when was the last time you saw him?”

“A few weeks ago,” the guy says, his longest sentence yet.

“And do you know where he is now?”

“Gone.”

That makes worry flare up in Joonmyun again, even worse than before. “Gone?” he repeats shrilly. He's trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He has a feeling he's not doing very well. The guy lets out a quiet noise of conformation, which only makes things worse, and Joonmyun stutters out: “Wh-what do you mean he's gone? What do you mean he's gone?” Did he move out while they were apart? Did he run away? Is he, God forbid, dead?

“He left,” the guy says, his stoic composure a complete polar opposite of Joonmyun's jittery anxiousness. The answer is enough to appease Joonmyun and calm his frantic heart, even if it's only a little. 'Left' is better than 'gone' ('left' is better than 'dead').

“Where did he go?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you know when he's coming back, then?”

“I don't know,” the guy says again. “He just asked me to take care of his plants. For a while.”

“I see.” It's not much information to go by, and it's not much of a relief either. At least Joonmyun knows now that coming to Yixing's apartment was a lost cause, and that he will need to go somewhere else if he wants answers. “Thank you, uh... what did you say your name was?”

“I didn't.”

Joonmyun expects him to elaborate with his name, but it never comes, and the guy just keeps staring at him, so eventually Joonmyun has to ask: “Then... what is your name?”

“Jung Taekwoon.” He bows, and Joonmyun belatedly remembers to bow back at him.

“Nice to meet you, Taekwoon-ssi. I'm Kim Joonmyun.”

Taekwoon blinks. “Oh. You're the ex.”

It's not phrased as a question, nor does it come across as a sudden revelation. It doesn't even sound deprecating or insulting or bitter. It's nothing but a flat statement, and yet it stings more than Joonmyun can even comprehend. It's a harsh reminder that he can no longer call Yixing his own, a reminder of one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made, if not the biggest. He smiles wryly. “That would be me.” Taekwoon just stares at him with no change in his expression. It's slightly unsettling. Joonmyun clears his throat. “Were... no, are you friends with Yixing?”

“Of sorts,” Taekwoon murmurs. “He talked about you. Sometimes.”

That makes Joonmyun feel even worse. Yixing told all his friends and even his neighbor about Joonmyun while Joonmyun could barely even admit to himself that he had a boyfriend. He's such an idiot. “I hope he's been telling you good things,” he jokes meekly, at which Taekwoon shrugs.

“He was very much in love with you.”

“I'm in love with him as well,” Joonmyun admits. It still sends a rush through him to say it out loud. He might as well get used to it, though. He plans on saying it a lot (if he ever actually gets the chance to do so). “But we broke up, as you probably know.”

“Yes. I know.” Taekwoon's stare is intense. He looks angry, but his face is so expressionless it's hard to tell for sure. “I could hear Yixing crying. Every day.”

Joonmyun kind of wants to cry, too. Or spit out a nasty curse, one or the other. He feels like such an . This is definitely the biggest mistake he has ever made in his entire life, there's no doubt about it. Joonmyun runs a hand over his face, letting out a shivering sigh. “It's all my fault.”

“Yes,” Taekwoon says without hesitation. “But Yixing is a nice person. You can probably fix it if you talk to him. So do that.” It's obvious that he really wants the conversation to be over as he doesn't wait for an answer, just bows as a farewell and finally enters his apartment.

This leaves Joonmyun standing alone in the hallway once more, all by himself. “I'm trying,” he mumbles to the closed door. After all, he did come here with the intention of pleading his case to Yixing. The fact that he didn't even get to see Yixing is another thing entirely, but at least he's been trying. At least he hasn't given up like he normally would. Even though this trip to Yixing's apartment didn't bring him much closer to working things out, he's not ready to call it quits, not yet. Yixing means too much for him to just give up like that.

And that is why Joonmyun knows what he has to do now. He has been trying to avoid this because he's sure it won't end very well for him, but it doesn't seem like there is any other solution to his current problem, and he's more desperate than ever now that going to the apartment turned out to be a dead end as well.

So, as much as Joonmyun doesn't want to, he knows what he needs to do, where he needs to go, knows that if anyone is aware of Yixing's whereabouts, it has to be this person. It has to be Baekhyun. He needs to go talk to Baekhyun.

~*~

A/N: so. yixing is gone. and joonmyun is just one tiny step closer to making amends. not a lot of action in this chapter, just more revelations, more self-loathing, and joonmyun trying desperately to at least get yixing to talk to him. quality content!

for those of y'all who don't know, jung taekwoon is leo from vixx. in relation to this story, he's special to me for two reasons: 1) I was really, severely stuck while writing this chapter and his character came along to push things along. 2) taekwoon and yixing are so ing cute together it makes me cry actual tears of blood and I needed more of that good in my life so here we are.

that's all I have to say. enjoy. :)