Joonmyun feels so stupid. He feels ashamed of himself for losing control and letting things get completely out of hand, and he feels upset for destroying things between Yixing and him when they were just starting to get close, but more than anything else he feels so incredibly stupid for running out of the apartment the way he did.

Looking back on it, it's kind of pathetic, especially to someone like Joonmyun, who takes pride in acting mature and dealing with issues in a calm, collected manner. To him, a reaction like that is bordering on shameful, but he just didn't know what to do in that situation. He was at a loss and at the time, the easiest solution had seemed to be flight.

Another thing that isn't very mature is ignoring someone else's phone calls, yet Joonmyun's doing that as well. At first Yixing had been calling almost once an hour, which eventually dwindled down to two or three calls a day once the weekend ended and the work week began. Text messages asking, begging, for Joonmyun to please pick up his phone along with heartfelt apologies still continue to accumulate in Joonmyun's inbox.

At the beginning it had been sheer self-embarrassment that kept Joonmyun from answering all the calls and messages. Next it was the fear of Yixing being angry with him for being such a coward and maybe even refusing to ever speak to him again. But then Joonmyun thought about the irony of the situation – avoiding talking to Yixing out of fear of not being able talk to him – and it made him feel like even more of an idiot.

However, now that Joonmyun is, due to the many messages he has received, more or less convinced that Yixing really isn't angry with him, there's a different reason. Joonmyun is worried that things are going to be awkward between them, most of all because of what happened, but also because of how long it has taken for Joonmyun to get over himself. And the longer he waits, the more difficult it's going to become for him to make things right.

The only thing Yixing hasn't done so far, other than actually showing up in person at Joonmyun's front door, is leave voice mails. Joonmyun doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not. All he knows is that he'd most likely give in to Yixing in a heartbeat if he heard his pleading voice. Yixing has this hold over Joonmyun that he can't explain, but he suspects it has something to do with the weird burning sensation he had felt in his gut that night when Yixing looked at him with half-lidded eyes and ragged breathing. It wasn't a feeling he recognized, though, so he can't be sure if that's it.

For the past few days, Joonmyun has been reading the texts he's received over and over. They're all worded similarly, yet that doesn't make the impact any smaller.

I'm sorry about what happened ㅠㅠ

please pick up I really want to talk to you

joonmyun please

please

Every single message makes Joonmyun feel worse and worse about himself. He was the one who messed up. It doesn't seem fair that Yixing is the one continuously apologizing while Joonmyun just ignores him. Yixing hasn't even done anything wrong. It's all Joonmyun. It's all his fault.

Another text comes in, causing Joonmyun's phone to vibrate in his hand, and he takes a deep breath before apprehensively clicking to read the message.

I miss you

Sighing heavily, Joonmyun drops his head down onto the table, and he bangs his forehead against it. This is so stupid. He's so stupid. “Stupid,” he says under his breath. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“I'm not even gonna ask.” Joonmyun lifts his head to see Jongdae watching him from the doorway. Joonmyun frowns. He could've sworn he remembered to close the door to his office this time, but perhaps the sound of his face slamming against the table drowned out the sound of knocking. Or maybe Jongdae is just shameless enough to enter without it.

Joonmyun sits up straight in his chair. “Hello,” he mutters.

Jongdae looks him over with a critical expression. Then he enters the room fully, shutting the door behind himself. He walks over to sit down on the chair standing in front of Joonmyun's desk. “You look like ,” he says bluntly.

“Thanks,” Joonmyun deadpans.

Jongdae shakes his head and sighs. “Alright, I know I just said like ten seconds ago that I wasn't going to ask, but now I think I kind of have to. What's going on?”

“I ruined everything and I don't know how to fix it.” Tiredly, Joonmyun runs his hands down his face.

“What happened?” Joonmyun opens his mouth, prepared to answer, but closes it again. He doesn't know if he wants to tell Jongdae. When Joonmyun doesn't say anything, Jongdae nods. “Alright, I understand. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. How long ago did it happen?”

“Friday. Friday night.”

Jongdae looks very unimpressed. “Then I agree, you really are stupid.” Joonmyun shoots him the most venomous glare he can muster, but Jongdae doesn't seem affected at all. “It's been five days and you haven't thought of what you're going to do?”

“I have thought about it a lot,” Joonmyun objects, affronted. “I've barely thought about anything other than that. I just don't know what to do. I've never done this before.”

“Never done what, exactly?” Jongdae asks, and Joonmyun is worked up and set on retorting... until he realizes that he has no idea what to actually say. He and Yixing are friends. He has done friendship before, and though he may be a tad rusty now from lack of social interaction outside of work-related events, it's definitely not new to him. Yet somehow this feels new. He can't pinpoint what it is, but there is something about this that feels different from what Joonmyun is used to when it comes to friendship.

“I don't know,” Joonmyun mutters.

Jongdae is still studying him. “Look, it's not really any of my business, but I really think it would be so much better for both of you if you just talked to the guy and worked things out. He seems like a decent person, I'm sure he'll go easy on you.” Joonmyun doesn't even know how Jongdae knows that this is about Yixing. He doesn't ask and simply nods. Jongdae pats him on the shoulder. “That being said, you seem like you could use a drink or two. Or five.”

For the first time in days, Joonmyun feels a genuine smile pull at his lips. It's probably not a very good idea to go drinking in the middle of the work week, but Joonmyun feels like doing something reckless. “Maybe you're right.”

“I'll take you to this bar I know. The atmosphere is really nice. You can drink a little, let your mind rest for a while, and then talk to Yixing in the morning. How does that sound?” Joonmyun just nods, and Jongdae gets up to leave the office and go back to his own.

“Jongdae,” Joonmyun calls out just as he's about to walk out the door. Jongdae turns to look at him. “I... Thank you. For, you know... knocking some sense into me.”

Jongdae smiles. “That's what friends are for, right?” he says and then he's gone. Joonmyun sighs, staring down at his phone. The words 'I miss you' are still displayed on the screen, and his heart aches a little. Right. Friends.

The place Jongdae takes them after they get off work to is one you clearly have to know about to be able to find. It's located in the side street of a side street of a side street, not somewhere you'd be likely to stumble upon unless you were lost, yet Jongdae walks with a confidence as if he knows this place like the back of his own hand. Joonmyun follows blindly, trusting him to lead the way.

They end up at a small jazz bar that has dim lights and about two dozen tables surrounding the round platform in the middle of the room. It looks like a stage with the grand piano and microphone stand on display. “Nice place,” Joonmyun says as he takes a look around. “How did you find it?”

Jongdae actually looks bashful. It's the first time Joonmyun has seen that side of him. “I... may have performed here a couple of times,” he admits sheepishly. A busboy walks past them at that same moment, smiling at Jongdae and greeting him by name. Once he's gone, Joonmyun raises an inquiring eyebrow. Jongdae pulls a face. “Alright, maybe it was more than just a couple of times. They have an open mic night every Wednesday and, well...”

“Hmm, today's Wednesday,” Joonmyun remarks with overdone casualness. “So...”

“No, hyung, I'm not going to sing for you.”

Joonmyun laughs, nudging Jongdae with his elbow. “Come on, you're no fun.” He laughs even more when Jongdae glares and mumbles something about going to find a place to sit.

About half the seats are filled already, and Jongdae and Joonmyun choose a table that's somewhere in the middle of it all, not too far from the stage but not too close. “Pick your poison,” Jongdae says, inclining his head in the direction of the bar.

“Nothing strong,” Joonmyun says, anxious. “We have a meeting tomorrow morning, remember?” Jongdae blows a raspberry out of spite and heads to the bar without listening to any further protests Joonmyun may have had.

It's not a very busy night, so he quickly returns with bottles of soju and glasses and pours a shot for each of them. “It's not gonna bite you or anything,” Jongdae says when he notices how skeptical Joonmyun looks. Joonmyun sighs and raises his glass and Jongdae smiles. “To working things out, yeah?” He clinks his own glass against Joonmyun's and downs the clear liquid in one gulp, slamming the glass back down on the table with a grimace.

Joonmyun follows his example and cringes as the soju burns down his esophagus. “God, I forgot how much hate alcohol,” he grits out, coughing a little. “Why did I agree to this again?”

“Because of my amazing persuasion skills, no doubt,” Jongdae says without missing a beat. He doesn't move even a single muscle in his face when Joonmyun scowls at him.

There is the sound of someone clearing their throat and when Joonmyun looks towards the stage, he sees a guy standing in front of the microphone stand. “Uhm, hi,” he says. He's holding a violin in one hand, the bow in the other. “My name is Henry and I'm going to be playing for you tonight.” A few people clap and cheer, and Henry smiles. “Thank you, thank you.” And without further ado, he places the violin on his shoulder and starts to play.

He's amazing, there's no doubt about it. Joonmyun has seen his fair share of violinists in his time, but the majority of them were classically trained and none of them played like this. Henry's style is more urban, backed up by a track with a heavy bassline sounding from the speakers, and he's literally dancing as he plays. He bears some resemblance to someone Joonmyun knows quite well, another musician, who has trouble standing still while playing his instrument.

The realization hits Joonmyun hard. He grabbles for his glass and downs the second shot Jongdae has poured for them as he tries not to pay too much attention to Henry, whose way of performing and accented words that he speaks between each song remind Joonmyun so much of the very person he's here to take his mind off of.

“He's good,” Jongdae says after Henry has played his final piece and left the stage to the sound of enthusiastic applause louder than what he received when he walked onto it. “I've seen a lot of performers who were kind of a miss here, but that guy is definitely going places.”

“Mhm,” Joonmyun hums before he drinks his third glass of soju. It's already effecting him, making him feel lightheaded, and sometimes he hates how easily alcohol works on him. He also hates how he can't seem to get Yixing out of his head. That can't be normal.

“Good evening, everyone. How're you all feeling tonight?” Great. Joonmyun scoffs. Now he even hears Yixing's voice when he's not there. He must be going crazy.

Jongdae in a loud breath and then he starts hitting Joonmyun's arm repeatedly. “Hyung,” he hisses. “Hyung. Hyung!”

“What?” Joonmyun grumbles. He doesn't understand Jongdae's eagerness.

All Jongdae does is point and when Joonmyun follows the line of his finger, his heart drops all the way into his stomach. Because right there on the stage stands Yixing, smiling his dimpled smile as he bows in greeting. Safe for a pair of black suspenders, he's wearing all white; white pants and a white T-shirt with his tattoos sticking out from under the short sleeves. Joonmyun's heart skips a beat. He forgot how handsome Yixing is. “I'm Yixing, I'll be singing and playing the piano.” He lets his gaze to another round as people clap for him, and he's still smiling.

That smile fades, however, when his eyes wander over the crowd and just so happen to land right on Joonmyun. Oh no.

~*~

A/N: welcome to the show, new subscribers! :D I hope you'll enjoy your stay~

in the author's note in the last chapter I promised you guys another 2k of joonmyun being a silly and that is exactly what you're getting: 2247 words of joonmyun being a silly , to be precise. I'd call him dumb, but he's a precious, vulnerable child, who must be protected at all costs. ;; also, here we have jongdae saving the day once again because he's a great friend like that. #kimjongdaewinsatlife. I... really don't know what else to say about this. it's all pretty self-explanatory. cliffhanger and all.

I'm updating a day earlier than I usually do because tomorrow is new year's eve and, well... it's new year's eve. I say this as if I'm actually going to do something. I'm not. I'll just be sitting here all by myself for the entire night because I have been abandoned this year. >:c anyway, what are y'all doing for new year's? something more exciting than me, I hope. let me know in the comments! :D

I should've saved last chapter's taehyung gif for this chapter since it was his birthday today and all... oh well, I guess I'll just use another taehyung gif because precious bby V is precious and you can never have too much of him.

bye! ♥