Shiver

You Exist In My Song

Yixing and Joonmyun spend the following day hanging out in Joonmyun's apartment, and after sharing takeout dinner (followed by making out against the kitchen counter for a lot longer than either of them intended), they finally leave to go to the bar.

At some point it hits Joonmyun that it's the first time they go there together rather than meet up there, and although he knows it's ridiculous and sappy, Joonmyun is struck by the sudden urge to hold Yixing's hand. He knows it's probably not a good idea to do that in public, though, so he doesn't. He settles for sitting as close to Yixing as possible on the subway and letting his fingers subtly brush the back of Yixing's hand once in a while. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

To Joonmyun's surprise, it's not Zitao who's standing guard by the doors tonight. Instead it's another guy, someone Joonmyun has never seen before (he thinks he looks a bit like some kind of amphibian), but the guy clearly knows Yixing, judging by the way he greets him with a smile and a hug and how Yixing returns the eager greeting with a fond: “Nice to see you, Minho.” As usual, they're granted entrance without any further questions.

Switchblade Granola isn't playing tonight, but that doesn't mean the place is much less crowded than on nights where they do, and Joonmyun and Yixing have barely made it inside before they're accosted by an already tipsy Baekhyun. “Hey, you made it!” he squeals, pulling each of them into a quick hug, one-armed because he's holding a neon-pink, fruity drink in the other hand. He's swaying slightly on his feet and slurring his words, but he has a huge smile on his face like he's having the time of his life. “Come on, everyone's here already. We're at our regular spot.” He starts walking along the edge of the crowd, and Joonmyun and Yixing follow.

You guys actually have a regular spot here?” Joonmyun says.

Baekhyun turns his head to grin at him. “One of the perks that comes with being such close friends with the owner,” he says, throwing in a flirtatious wink while he's at it.

Joonmyun looks questioningly at Yixing, who explains: “This place belongs to Yifan.” Joonmyun is unable to contain his noise of surprise.

Rumor has it that the main reason why he even agreed to let Switchblade Granola play here in the first place was because he wanted to bone Chanyeol really, really bad,” Baekhyun stage-whispers as if he's letting Joonmyun in on a huge secret. It kind of loses his effect because he has to raise his voice to be heard over the loud music, though, and most of the people in their immediate vicinity can probably hear him too.

That's really more of a fact than a rumor,” Yixing mutters.

Chanyeol never seemed to react to any of Kris' approaches so for a while we all thought he was just using him to get gigs.” Baekhyun snorts at the memory. “Turns out Kris is just so bad at flirting that Chanyeol didn't understand that that was what he was trying to do.”

Yifan just doesn't have it in him to be smooth,” Yixing adds. “He tries really hard, but he fails even harder. It's kind of adorable when he pretends to be cool, though.” Baekhyun laughs so hard he nearly spills his drink all over himself.

By the time they make it over to what is apparently their regular spot – an oval table surrounded on three sides by plush seats – Yifan is already glaring at them. “You were talking about me,” he accuses, and adds as soon as Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak: “Don't even try to pretend you weren't, I know that face, Byun Baekhyun.” Baekhyun grins, looking entirely unapologetic, and Yixing looks unfazed as well. Neither of them look like they know they're in danger of getting their heads ripped off, though Kris certainly looks like he's determined to do just that any second now.

Oh, we were just telling Joonmyun about that time when you were trying to get into Chanyeol's pants,” Yixing says. Kris makes a very displeased face, as if the recollection pains him physically.

It's okay,” Joonmyun says. “I'm bad at flirting too.”

For a moment Kris just stares at him, and Joonmyun does his best not to avert his gaze. Then Kris sighs. “Why can't you be as nice as your boyfriend?” he asks Yixing.

Because bullying you is too much fun,” Baekhyun answers with a grin. Joonmyun wonders to himself how both Baekhyun and Yixing manage to remain completely calm when Kris is scowling so hard in their direction. It's probably because they're so used to it by now that they're immune, he concludes. “Come on, scoot over.”

They all move closer together, and then Joonmyun finds himself squeezed between Yixing and Kris with Baekhyun taking the seat on Yixing's left at the outer edge of the booth. Next to Kris is Minseok, then Sehun and Zitao, who are nearly intertwined with how close they're sitting and too occupied with each other('s mouths) to pay attention to much else, and finally Kyungsoo, sitting across from Baekhyun. Just like Baekhyun had said, everyone is here. Everyone except for...

Where's Chanyeol?” Yixing asks, voicing Joonmyun's thoughts.

At the exact same moment, a tray is practically slammed down onto the table. “Shots, shots, shots!” Chanyeol chants enthusiastically. He starts dealing out small glasses to everyone. “Amber offered me a discount if I bought ten of these.”

So naturally you bought ten,” Kyungsoo deadpans.

Chanyeol looks distressed. “No, actually, I got thirty, but I could only carry one tray at a time, so...”

Jesus ing balls,” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath, but either Chanyeol doesn't hear the exclamation or he chooses to ignore it.

Let's do this!” He picks up one of the remaining glasses for himself. “On three, we down. Got it?”

You don't have to if you don't want to,” Yixing says to Joonmyun, knowing he's not usually much of a drinker, but Chanyeol is already counting, and Joonmyun figures what the heck. He grabs the glass in front of him and smiles uneasily at Yixing before he gulps down the clear liquid inside.

The alcohol stings in Joonmyun's throat and has him coughing violently, but even through his teary vision, he notices the way Baekhyun is gripping Yixing's thigh to steady himself after the shot. Joonmyun doesn't like it. There's a heat spreading in his gut that is neither from the alcohol nor the arousal he's used to associating with that heat. Instead it's anger and jealousy mixing together to create a slow burning fire. He really doesn't like it.

Without thinking, Joonmyun grabs Yixing by the collar and yanks him closer so he can smash their lips together. It's very indelicate and even a little painful with the way their teeth clack, but Joonmyun can't bring himself to care much. All he cares about is keeping Yixing's attention on him. Yixing looks dazed when they part. “I needed a chaser,” Joonmyun says in reply to the unspoken question on his face.

Someone makes a gagging noise. “So gross,” Sehun groans. Yixing just smiles and puts his hand on Joonmyun's face to kiss him properly. This time the kiss hurts less.

Chanyeol is grinning like the alcohol had no effect on him at all. “I'll get the rest of the shots, be right back.” He disappears into the mass of people gathered between the booth and the bar.

Jesus ing balls,” Kyungsoo repeats. “We're all going to ing die from ing alcohol poisoning at this rate. .” Joonmyun is tempted to side with him, but Baekhyun's hand is still on Yixing's thigh like it's no big deal, and Joonmyun knows he's going to need more alcohol to get him through the night. So he stays quiet.

Oh yeah,” Yixing says as if suddenly remembering something. “I forgot to ask, how's Clara?”

I don't know,” Kyungsoo says, shrugging. “Haven't talked to her in weeks.”

Oh no.” It's a little strange how Yixing seems to be far more upset by this piece of information than Kyungsoo is. “What happened? I thought you really liked her.”

I liked ing her,” Kyungsoo says, shrugging again. “And, apparently, so did her roommate. And his friend. At the same time.” Joonmyun stares, horrified. Yixing looks shocked too. Kyungsoo seems completely unaffected by the whole thing. “It's alright, though. I met this other girl, Lee Yejin, and she's, like, ten times hotter than Clara. Plus she has way nicer .”

Sweet,” Minseok says, reaching over the table to high five Kyungsoo.

Shots, shots, shots!” Another round is slammed down on the table, and Chanyeol's grin is even more maniacal now as he gives everyone a glass. Joonmyun casts a sidelong glance at Baekhyun, who has just leaned in to whisper something in Yixing's ear, something that makes Yixing vibrate with laughter. Joonmyun clenches his jaw. This time he's the first one to throw back his drink.


Yixing and Joonmyun are both tipsy when they stumble out of the bar at the end of the night. Joonmyun stopped drinking after two shots, but it's still more than enough to make his legs wobbly and his lips loose, and his brain has reached the dangerous stage of intoxication where it doesn't see anything wrong with letting Joonmyun tell Yixing just how badly he wants to punch Baekhyun in the face every time he even looks at Yixing.

They go to Yixing's place, once again because it's closer and more convenient. Being here doesn't give Joonmyun the same sense of calm as he's used to, though. Instead he just feels tense and uncomfortable. Yixing doesn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, chatting away amiably as he goes around the living room turning on the light, but Joonmyun has a hard time paying attention to what he's actually saying. Baekhyun's hand on Yixing's leg. Joonmyun clenches his fists. Baekhyun pressed against Yixing's side. Baekhyun whispering in Yixing's ear. Baekhyun's lips close enough to brush skin.

Joonmyun jolts when a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. Somehow he had missed Yixing walking up to him. “Hey, are you alright?” Yixing mutters. “You seem kind of out of it.”

Sorry,” Joonmyun mumbles. “I'm sorry, I'm just...” He shakes his head, unable to finish his sentence. Yixing makes Joonmyun turn around in his hold so he can look at him properly. There's still a worried furrow creasing his brow, but he leans in to give Joonmyun a soft kiss nonetheless. And Joonmyun wants to kiss back, but he's so distracted by the unstoppable train of thought rushing around in his head. All the things Baekhyun had known, about Yixing's unicorn tattoo, about Yixing knowing what he's doing in bed.

Yixing looks even more concerned when he pulls away again. He presses his forehead against Joonmyun's, looking straight into his eyes. “What's on your mind?” he asks quietly.

The tattoo on Baekhyun's inner thigh that Yixing had known about. Alcohol makes Joonmyun reckless and it also shuts down his brain-to-mouth filter, which is why he can't stop himself from blurting out: “Did you sleep with Baekhyun?”

Yixing looks completely taken aback by the question, like he didn't see it coming even in a million years. “Oh,” he says once his brain seems to register the words. “Oh. I, uhm...” Joonmyun is subconsciously holding his breath, terrified of hearing the answer even though he has an aching gut feeling that he already knows what it's going to be.

But Yixing doesn't answer, at least not right away. Joonmyun pulls back to get a better look at Yixing's face, and he sees Yixing opening and closing his mouth as if he can't quite figure out to form his sentence. Impatience turns Joonmyun easily irritated. “Well?” he pushes. “It's a pretty simple question. Did you or did you not sleep with Baekhyun?”

Yixing swallows loud enough for Joonmyun to be able to hear it with their close proximity. Then, looking Joonmyun right in the eye, Yixing takes a deep breath and says: “I did.”

 

~*~

 

A/N: oops. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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eternally1001 #1
I came back to reread this fanfic and it's still one of the best sulay fics ever! I actually recommend this every time someone asks me for a sulay fanfic recommendation. I'm thankful to the author for creating this beautiful story. <3
Anived #2
When I read about Yixing's fanfic turnimg into a movie... I thought of this story.. this deserve to be made as a BL drama
ChoiGurl1187
#3
Chapter 49: My ♡
ChoiGurl1187
#4
Chapter 42: Fell back into this story today ♡
(It's marked in my favorites)
Jkloey
#5
Chapter 48: Lol I thought we won't be getting to know the voicemails tho but it was nice
Jkloey
#6
Chapter 47: Sigh of relief yixing will come back jun still has hopes
minquiqui
#7
Chapter 55: wowowow i remember reading this since.. well, i don't even remember but it was before this story got into the double digits! this story has aged well; i spent the last few days rereading it and i remember once more why i came on here religiously waiting for an update! thank you for such a beautiful story, i'm sure to come back in another 3 years ( kidding; but when i feel nolgestic again )
veIvetdiamond
#8
I came back to rereaaaaad!
OMG! I miss this story already!
veIvetdiamond
#9
Chapter 50: Usually, I really get annoyed when conflicts dawned on the characters. Especially because most of the time, they act childishly which then leads to a longer and more complicated misunderatanding and I'd end up getting all upset and impatient and leave. But here, Suho and Lay had been really mature [kinda, hehe] in settling their problems and their characters are actually likeable throughout the build-up that I've really grown too attached to them to even think about giving up on the story. Well done, Author-nim!