The following day, Joonmyun has to go in an hour early, so he opts for going straight to work rather than dropping by the park first like he does on most other mornings. Seeing Yixing is usually a nice boost to get Joonmyun through a stressful day, but today it can't be helped. He doubts Yixing would be there that early, anyway.

Later, Joonmyun sends a text to Yixing apologizing for not stopping by to see him that morning. He doesn't get an immediate reply. It doesn't worry him too much, though, he figures Yixing is just busy with work as well. Joonmyun delves back into the pile of documents he needs to go through and quickly forgets that he even texted Yixing in the first place.

Like other days, Jongdae stops by Joonmyun's office to invite him out for lunch. “You've been huddled over your desk for like four hours,” he says. “I think it's about time you take a break now. Come grab some food with me.”

“Has it really been that long?” Joonmyun casts a glance at his clock and finds out that, yes, it really has. He sits up straighter in his chair and works the cricks out of his neck, rolls his shoulders. He didn't even notice how sore he had become from sitting in that same position for such an extended period of time. “I guess I could do with some fresh air.”

“Attaboy.” Jongdae grins, completely shameless, when Joonmyun glowers at him. For the umpteenth time, Joonmyun gives up trying to knock some respect into Jongdae and just grabs his jacket so they can leave.

They don't discuss it in advance or anything, but they automatically end up heading to the same place as usual: the restaurant where Yixing works. It seems to have become their regular spot by now, the place they go to by default. Joonmyun is more than okay with that. The food is good there and he gets to see Yixing. What's not to like?

Once they've been seated by a waiter, Joonmyun can't help but crane his neck to throw glances around the room in an attempt to spot Yixing. He always does this, and he has long given up on being subtle by now since Jongdae calls him out on it every single time anyway. Today, however, he can't seem to catch sight of Yixing. “I don't see him,” Joonmyun says. “Do you?”

“No. He's probably just out back. Maybe he's on a break or something.” Joonmyun hums. He stops looking around in favor of paying attention to Jongdae, the person he actually came here with, but he feels strange. Like something is off. He doesn't like it.

They order their food, it arrives fairly quickly, and they eat it while making smalltalk. Jongdae talks about Liyin and how far they've come – Joonmyun feels a little bad about not asking about her more, but Jongdae waves off his apologies, says it's okay – they discuss a few work projects, and Joonmyun invites Jongdae to come hang out with them at the bar some time again. Everything is going well, but Joonmyun can't stop thinking about the fact that he still hasn't seen Yixing at all even though they've been here for the better part of an hour.

The next time their waiter stops by the table, Joonmyun turns to him and asks: “Do you know if Yixing is working today? I thought he was supposed to be here.”

“Oh yeah, he was,” the waiter says. “He called in sick this morning, though.”

“He's sick?!” Joonmyun exclaims, far too loudly.

The waiter shoots him a wary look. “Uh, y-yeah. He said he has a cold or something. Nothing too serious, it seems.” A cold. Yixing has a cold. Yixing is sick. “Do you need anything else, sir?”

“We're good for now, thanks,” Jongdae says with a polite smile, and the waiter bows before walking off. When Jongdae looks at Joonmyun, he's wearing a worried expression. “Hyung, are you okay?”

“Yixing is sick,” Joonmyun says. He's slowly working himself into a panic. “He's sick. I told him this was going to happen, I told him, but he wouldn't listen to me, and now he's sick.”

“It's just a cold.”

“He's sick.” Jongdae doesn't respond to that, just looks keeps looking at Joonmyun with concern. Joonmyun runs a hand over his face. “What do I do?”

“I don't know. Maybe you should go take care of him.”

“But I have work, I can't just–”

Jongdae cuts him off: “When was the last time you took some time off, hyung? Be honest with me.” Joonmyun thinks about it and finds that he doesn't remember a single day where he wasn't at work when he was required to. “My point exactly,” Jongdae says despite the fact that Joonmyun hasn't even said anything. Jongdae's smug expression shows that he clearly knows he has won the argument. “You can afford to spend one day blowing off work to tend to your sick boyfriend. I'll just tell them you went home because you didn't feel well.”

“Do you really think that would be okay?” Joonmyun is already considering the quickest way to get to Yixing's place from here.

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Just go already. Everything will work out just fine.”

Joonmyun can't hold himself back any longer. He needs to go. He thanks Jongdae repeatedly as he gets out of his chair and puts on his jacket, and as he heads for the door, he swears he hears Jongdae muttering under his breath, something about Joonmyun being overdramatic. He ignores it. There are more important matters to take care of.

Joonmyun had been under the impression that he was long past feeling anxious when standing in front of the door to Yixing's apartment, but apparently he was wrong about that because here he is, back at square one with borderline panic lingering in the back of his skull just like the first few times he came to visit. Except this time he's feeling tense for a different reason entirely. It seems like hours have passed since he rang the doorbell, and Yixing still hasn't answered the door or shown any sign of life. That certainly doesn't make Joonmyun feel more at ease.

The door finally opens, and Yixing is standing there, looking very much like he just rolled out of bed with his messy hair and sleepy eyes. He also looks very confused to see Joonmyun on his doorstep. “Joonmyun? What are you–?”

“Why did you take so long to open the door?”

Yixing seems taken aback by Joonmyun's overzealousness, recoiling slightly. “I... I was just taking a nap,” he croaks. Right away Joonmyun notices how hoarse he sounds, like he's been coughing a lot. His words are also slurred and his accent is thicker, as if he feels too ill to bother trying to correct it. Joonmyun's heart squeezes in a very uncomfortable way. “What are you doing here?”

Joonmyun returns the question with a question of his own: “Why didn't you tell me you're sick? I went to the restaurant for lunch with Jongdae and you weren't there and I had to ask one of your co-workers where you were.” He crosses his arms. “I was really worried. You could have at least texted me or something.”

“Oh,” Yixing says. He makes to continue his sentence, but is cut off when he has to press his lower face into the crook of his elbow to cover a violent sneeze. Joonmyun winces. That didn't sound very good. “Sorry, I just didn't want to disturb you at work. I know you tend to be quite the worrywart.” Yixing grins cheekily. Even while sick, he has it in him to be playful. “Is it possible for us to continue this conversation inside? I kind of want to go lie down for a thousand years right now.”

There are used tissues just about everywhere in the area surrounding Yixing's bed, scattered around it like small islands on the floor. There's also a bottle of cough medicine standing on the nightstand. That would explain the drowsiness, Joonmyun supposes. Yixing flops down heavily on the mattress and doesn't move again, not even to pull the blanket over himself, and Joonmyun clicks his tongue in disapproval and sets off to rearrange Yixing's body so he can drag the blanket out from under him and cover him with it. “I told you this would happen,” he mutters.

“You did,” Yixing agrees with a bleary smile beaming up at Joonmyun. “Guess I should start listening to you more often, huh?”

Joonmyun doesn't answer. He just sits on the edge of the bed and pats down Yixing's hair, then presses his hand to Yixing's forehead. He frowns. “Do you have a fever? You're hot.”

“You too, babe,” Yixing says with an even wider grin that doesn't falter when Joonmyun glares. It seems as though a side effect of the cold is extra cheese. “No fever, though, just coughing and snot. Lots and lots of snot.” He sniffles wetly as if to prove a point. “Figured it'd be better if I didn't go into work. With my luck, I'd end up sneezing on someone's food and get yelled at again.” He begins a laugh, but chokes on his own phlegm and starts coughing instead.

Joonmyun his hair. “You should try to go back to sleep. I'm going to make some soup for you. I'll wake you up when it's done.”

“You know how to cook soup?” Yixing mumbles. “You don't even know how to cut vegetables or put frosting on cupcakes, how do you know how to make soup?” He sounds like he's halfway asleep already so Joonmyun doesn't bother with a retort. Yixing hums. “When I get better, we should make cupcakes together. Real cupcakes.”

“Sure,” Joonmyun says, tucking the blanket tighter around Yixing. “But now, go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” Yixing says airily, and then he's knocked out.

For some time, Joonmyun stays where he is, seated on Yixing's bed. Maybe he should feel creepy for watching Yixing sleep, but he doesn't. Most of all, he just feels a little lost. Now that he's here and has seen with his own eyes that Yixing is fine and not on the verge of death like Joonmyun's mind had somehow convinced him he was, he feels foolish. He might even reluctantly agree with Jongdae calling him overdramatic, which is also part of why he's so confused. Why had he reacted so strongly? It could just be his usual penchant for worrying too much about everything. This felt different, though, more powerful. He doesn't know why. With a sigh and a last brush of his fingers through Yixing's hair, he gets up and goes to the kitchen.

It hits Joonmyun while he's heating up some of the soup he bought on the way over. It hits him why he had reacted the way he had. It's because he's afraid of losing Yixing. Of course he's not going to lose him to the common cold, that would be ridiculous, but the mere idea of Yixing being sick was enough to send Joonmyun into a state of near-panic. He has realized that he's afraid of losing Yixing because he means so much to him and he doesn't want to live without him, and the thought is terrifying. It's too much. They haven't even been dating for very long, it's far too soon for Forever.

So Joonmyun does what he does best: he forces the unwelcome thoughts as far back into his mind as possible and tries to forget he ever had them in the first place. Everything will be much simpler if he just ignores it. Joonmyun likes simple.

~*~

A/N: apologies for the lack of update last week. some things came up and I ended up not being able to post. but here I am again, fighting with my unruly computer - or unruly browser, rather - in an attempt to update this story for you guys. be thankful!

(if you happen to be reading this at some point in the future, feel free to disregard the previous paragraph as it is most likely no longer relevant... if you happen from be someone from the future reading this in current times through ways of teleportation and/or other forms of advanced technology, hello! I come in peace! do we have hovercars yet?)

in this chapter, we see kem jonmon doing what he seems to do best in this story (other than yixing's , haha bye): freaking the out over Miniscule Matters and ignoring the subsequent Life Altering Revelation that comes with it. yup. that's joonmyun for ya. but even if he does try to ignore it, isn't it nice to see him finally realizing just how much yixing really means to him? :D

side note: I really like sick yixing... okay, that came out sounding worse than I intended it to but!!! ... what I mean is that sick yixing in this story is a cutie patootie and I want to cover him with 5000 blankets and feed him soup until he's all better (I want to do that to Real Life Yixing most of the time, but that is a different story, hhhhh).

I hope my computer survives so I can update again next week, and if it doesn't, I'll try to find another way!!! thank you all for reading, you are the bestest of the bestest!!!!! ♥♥♥

ps. title comes from seventeen's debut song because I am obsessed with them at the moment, but they make me very sad because they're so ing adorable, but there are so many of them, but I kind of involuntarily learned all their names without even trying very hard to do so, but now I know and I'm screwed, please seND HELP. :(((((

pps. jeonghan is a beautiful, beautiful bby boy and I want to hold his hand and braid his hair. #hairgoals

ppps. vernon needs to stop because just no (okay istg y'all he looks exactly like this guy I used to have a huge crush on when I was like 15 and that is very unfortunate because I am a grown woman and I do not wish to be lusting after a toddler like hansol vernon choi whooPS TOO ING LATE HAHA MOTHERING BYE).

pppps. if vernon/hansol/what-would-happen-if-t.o.p-and-luhan-had-a-child-together is a toddler, woozi is a goddamn fetus and he needs to stop even more because he makes me very angry and you won't like me when I'm angry. >:(((

ppppps. SERIOUSLY. SEND HELP. SEND ALL THE HELP. THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE IS LONGER THAN MY LIFESPAN AND IT'S ALL SEVENTEEN'S FAULT, I HATE EVERYTHING.