Having lunch with Jongdae is a lot less awkward than Joonmyun had feared it would be. For the most part, Joonmyun handles social situations well. He works in a position where being able to smalltalk is practically a required skill what with all the meetings and dinners and parties the company throws to impress their potential clients, so usually Joonmyun has little trouble leading conversations with people he barely knows. That doesn't stop him from feeling lonely even in the middle of a crowd, though. He can talk to people, but he doesn't really know them.

Joonmyun is very out of his element right now, being one on one with someone he's forced to see again even if he messes up somehow or says something wrong. Jongdae is easy to get along with, though. There's this comfortable air about him and it doesn't take long for Joonmyun to feel more relaxed in his company. If Jongdae notices how stiff Joonmyun is, he chooses not to mention it. Joonmyun is thankful for that. Overall, their lunch date is going well. Even the food they have ordered is good. He can definitely see himself doing this more often.

There's a natural lull in their conversation about work, and Jongdae decides to change to subject. “So, hyung,” he begins between bites of grilled meat. “I'm sorry for the third degree, but you're not exactly open about your personal life and I don't really know anything about you.” He takes another bite of food, chews slowly, and looks like he's contemplating how to word his next sentence. “Do you have a wife? A girlfriend? Someone you're interested in, maybe?”

It's not an unexpected question and it's not out of line, either. Joonmyun has been asked about this more times than he can count. He's twenty-seven, definitely old enough to start thinking about marriage. Still, it's one of his least favorite subjects. He doesn't like being reminded of his flaws. He looks down at his own plate of food, shakes his head. “There's no one.”

“Yeah, I didn't think so. I mean, not to be rude or anything, but it's just... I've seen women trying to hit on you and you kind of seem to shy away from all of them.”

“I know,” Joonmyun says. He didn't think it was obvious enough for others to notice, though.

“So are you, you know...” Jongdae stops himself to cast a look around, then leans a little closer and lowers his voice as he asks: “Do you like men?” Joonmyun's head snaps up, his eyes wide. “It's okay if you do,” Jongdae quickly says with a dismissing hand gesture. “Don't worry, I'm not going to judge you. Personally I don't swing that way, but I have friends who do. It's fine.”

“I... I don't,” Joonmyun says once he's regained the control over his words. “Or, I mean, I've never tried it or... or even thought about it much, really, but I don't... I don't think I'm... that.” He frowns. There's this nagging flash of something in the back of his mind, he's not quite sure what it is.

He loses his trail of thought when Jongdae speaks again: “But you're not into women?”

“I've dated a few, but...” Joonmyun pauses, watches his own finger trace the rim of the glass standing on the table in front of him. It's been months since the last time he went out to dinner with someone, a blind date with the daughter of one of his mother's friends. She was a sweet girl, pleasant to spend time with and very beautiful too. Joonmyun had felt like an awful person when she kissed him on her doorstep at the end of the night and his initial instinct was to grimace at the feeling of her gloss-sticky lips on his. He shrugs. “I just didn't feel anything for them.”

“Maybe you're unable to fall in love.”

Joonmyun can feel the corners of his mouth droop further. “Maybe.” He thinks about never finding someone to spend his life with, about being alone for the rest of his days. His frown deepens. He doesn't like the thought very much.

“Or maybe you just haven't found the right person yet,” Jongdae adds with a slight chuckle. It's obvious that he has picked up on the change in the mood and that he's trying to lighten it. “Don't worry, hyung, you'll find someone eventually. You're rich and handsome. The ladies are going to throw themselves at you, just wait and see.” He reaches across the table to pat Joonmyun on the arm and Joonmyun manages a meek smile.

The rest of their lunch goes by with Jongdae doing most of the talking. Joonmyun can't quite seem to shake the cloak of sadness that has been wrapped around him and judging by the worried looks Jongdae keeps sending him, he can tell that he's still upset. Joonmyun feels bad about ruining their meal. He's sure Jongdae wouldn't want to do this with him again now.

Once they're done eating Joonmyun excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He does his business and spends some time afterwards leaning against the sink with his hands clutched tight around the porcelain, staring at his own face in the mirror. Every single sign of age stands out to him, his smile lines and crow's feet like craters and canyons on his skin. He feels older than ever before and also more alone. Maybe he's just one of those people who's not meant to be with someone else. He sighs, washes his hands and leaves the restroom without looking at his own reflection any more.

As he walks towards their table, Joonmyun focuses on fixing down his sleeves, which he rolled up when he had to wash his hands, and he makes the mistake of not watching where he's going. This is why he's completely unprepared for his body suddenly bumping into another person. The collision is not so hard that it's painful, it's most of all just surprising, but it causes the other person to drop the tray he was balancing and all the items that were meticulously stacked on said tray fall down with a loud clatter.

Everything goes quiet. The entire restaurant seems to be staring at them. Joonmyun isn't sure if they really are, though, because he's looking somewhere else, more specifically at the mess on the floor and the platter of food that is now upended in the lap of the guy sitting at the nearest table. “I'm sorry!” The waiter's exclaim seems to break the temporary peace. “I am so sorry, sir!” He bows over and over, so deep they can't even see his face. Apologies keep spilling from his lips.

The man's expression turns from shock to fury as he takes in the state of his pants. Slowly he gets out of his seat. The platter slides from his lap to the floor. “You... you...” His breathing is picking up and he seems to be shaking with anger, fists clenched by his sides. The waiter has dropped to his knees and is collecting plate shards and pieces of broken glass and utensils, placing everything onto the tray. He's still muttering apologies, but it doesn't seem to help much. “Do you have any idea how expensive this suit is? Do you have any idea how much it's going to cost to replace it?”

The waiter keeps his head bowed. Something goes off in Joonmyun's brain. He's been standing there in shocked silence the whole time, but now he speaks up: “Sir?” He only barely manages not to flinch when the man directs his angry eyes at him. He's a big guy, taller than Joonmyun, and burlier. And on top of that he's furious. He could probably break Joonmyun in half if he wanted to. “I'm really sorry about this.” The man continues to glower at him. There's a vein in his forehead throbbing so hard it looks like it's about to burst. Joonmyun chooses to focus on that because it's a lot less scary than the man's angry face. He flashes his best customer service smile. “If you're interested I know this amazing dry-cleaner who'd be able to get that stain right out. I know from experience that he's great with suits.”

“Just...” The man doesn't seem calmer even though the woman sitting across from him is trying to talk him down as well. She seems embarrassed more than anything. They're causing a scene. The man takes a deep, shaky breath and swats angrily at the waiter's hand that has now moved on to try to clean the food off his pants with a rag. “If only this imbecile would watch where he was going this wouldn't have happened. Goddamn jjanggae can't do anything right.”

Joonmyun clenches his jaw, an unusual anger welling up inside of him. “There's no need to get nasty... sir.” He adds the last word through gritted teeth. “Such derogatory slur is completely out of place. It was an accident and it was just as much my fault.” He reaches into his pocket to pull out one of the small, rectangular pieces of paper he keeps there, and he extends it towards the man. “Here's my card, you can contact me to sort out the details and I'll pay any expenses you may have. But racism doesn't sit well with me so I would appreciate it if you kept remarks like that to yourself.”

The glare Joonmyun is facing is intense. The man is staring at him as if he's trying to make him back down, but no matter how much Joonmyun wants to look away, he bravely stands his ground. In the end the man seems to realize that Joonmyun isn't going to give up. He lowers his gaze to the business card that is still between them and he snatches it from Joonmyun's hand with flaring nostrils and a huff before he storms off. His female companion gets up from her seat as well. She leaves without looking at anyone.

“Are you getting yourself into trouble again?” one of the other waiters sighs as he passes them with a tray of his own. He looks more sympathetic than actually annoyed, however, and he leans down to pat the waiter on the shoulder. “Take five, get cleaned up, then come back. I'll cover for you.” He has disappeared into what Joonmyun assumes is the kitchen before the other waiter has the chance to argue.

The waiter is still sitting on the floor with his head lowered and he looks kind of miserable. “Are you okay?” Joonmyun asks quietly. He extends a hand, this time to help the waiter onto his feet. While he's at it he casts a glance at his name tag for his own curiosity's sake. Yixing. So he is Chinese.

Once Yixing is standing, Joonmyun notices two things: One, Yixing is taller than him by a few inches. It's not so much surprising as it is merely an observation. Most guys are taller than him anyway. Two, Yixing is familiar. Really, really familiar. By the time it strikes Joonmyun exactly why he's so familiar, Yixing's eyes have widened significantly. Clearly he recognizes Joonmyun as well.

It may have been some time since the last time they saw each other, but they used to meet every day, which should be often enough for them to add each other's face to memory. Joonmyun definitely remembers this particular face, not only because he used to see it on a regular basis, but also because it's the one that has been haunting him for the past few days. Dimples.

~*~

A/N: I'm sorry my updates are 38462387 years apart. I promise I'll try to update more often from now on!

I'm also sorry that this story is progressing so. ing. slowly. I realize, upon writing my author's note, that I have nothing to say about the chapter, which is because there isn't really much going on. errrrr. joonmyun angsted because he's getting old and he's afraid he'll never find anyone to love and he will die lonely and alone, jongdae continues to show why he's one of my favorite characters in this story with his It's Okay To Be Gay-attitude (#kimjongdaewinsatlife), joonxing met each other again (it must be ~fate~), and... yeah. that's all, folks!

"jjanggae" (짱깨), the word the angry customer called yixing during his ragefit, is a form of racial slur used against chinese people. I don't know what it translates to exactly, but I know that it's not something good, which is why joonmyun got angry. racism is not cool, yo.

but yeah, thank you all for subscribing and commenting and upvoting~
buh-bye! ♥

ps. next chapter will definitely have more sulay!!!!!