“I didn't know.” Shock is what has Joonmyun sitting frozen in his seat. He doesn't blink. He barely even breathes for fear of setting something off. “I swear I didn't know, hyung,” Jongdae says again. “I didn't know he was going to be here.” He's speaking in an almost desperate tone, as if he really, really wants Joonmyun to believe him, and although Joonmyun does, he finds himself unable to say anything at all as he stares into Yixing's eyes, which are wide but unwavering.

Joonmyun had come to a conclusion tonight and he had made a promise to himself: regardless of whether or not he had finally managed to figure out what to say, he would have called Yixing to work things out between them. He was going to do it tomorrow as soon as he had the chance to. He hadn't planned on doing it today, not yet, and he wasn't expecting to suddenly see Yixing, but there he is, standing right before them. And Joonmyun isn't prepared for this. He's not prepared, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.

“I don't... don't think I can do this,” Joonmyun says quietly. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jongdae looking at him as if he's crazy. Maybe he is. “I'm... sorry, I-I can't...” Shaking his head, Joonmyun stands up, once more choosing the coward's way of fleeing. He feels incredibly stupid and childish and pathetic for running away from his problems again, but it's like his body is acting of its own volition, making him grab his things so he can get out of there. No matter how hard he has tried to convince himself that he would be able to face his fears once it came down to that, actually being confronted with them is a lot different from just thinking about them in theory.

He doesn't even get to take his first step towards the exit, though, before Yixing calls out: “Paisley!” That one word is enough to make Joonmyun pause. Slowly, he turns around to look at Yixing, and if Joonmyun didn't know any better – if he didn't think the thought alone is ridiculous – it would seem that Yixing looks scared. “Please stay,” he pleads. “Please don't walk out on me again.”

Everyone seems to be watching them, following their conversation, and suddenly Joonmyun feels like the main character in some sappy, romantic drama with how unrealistic the entire situation is; from how Yixing just so happens to coincidentally be in this bar at the exact same time as them, to this scene they're causing in public. It makes Joonmyun want to laugh out of incredulity. A little bit out of anxiety, too. He's halfway expecting Yixing to confess his undying love for him at any second, and the thought makes his stomach burn hot.

Someone tugs on Joonmyun's jacket, and he looks at Jongdae, who's still seated at the table. He's frowning at Joonmyun, clearly annoyed, but he doesn't actually say anything. He just gives Joonmyun's jacket another tug. When Joonmyun looks back at Yixing without showing a reaction, though, Jongdae huffs out a harsh exhale and hisses through his teeth: “Goddamnit, hyung, would you just sit your dumb back down already? You're being ridiculous.”

“Please,” Yixing repeats. With a feeling of helplessness, Joonmyun sinks slowly down onto his chair. His heart is pounding in his chest like it has to work overtime to catch up with all the beats it has missed. Yixing still appears to be a bit out of it as he perches on the piano bench, but after taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he begins to play.

Joonmyun is quick to discover that even though the instrument is different – the usual guitar exchanged for a grand piano – the feeling he gets from the sight and sound of Yixing playing remains the same. It makes Joonmyun's body thrum, as if the notes Yixing creates are sending vibrations through Joonmyun's whole being. And once Yixing lets his voice join in as well, Joonmyun is completely lost. He finds himself wondering whether Yixing was a Siren in his past life to be able to spellbind him this way with nothing but music. Or maybe there's another reason for it that Joonmyun just doesn't know about.

Once in a while Yixing shoots a quick glance in their direction like he's afraid Joonmyun is going to try to leave again if he takes his eyes off of him for too long. Joonmyun doesn't think he'd be able to leave even if he wanted to. He doesn't want to, though. At least not anymore. Right now, all he wants to do is enjoy Yixing's performance. They can do the talking and the awkward afterwards.

A total of four songs are played before Yixing's stands up, bowing to the people in the room over and over as they applaud him. “I totally understand what you see in this guy,” Jongdae says to Joonmyun, leaning closer as he speaks in order to be heard over the clapping, his own loudest of all. “He's a really great musician.”

“He's perfect,” Joonmyun sighs, and there's a small part of him that knows that he's probably not just referring to Yixing's musical talent.

Joonmyun doesn't notice Jongdae's knowing smile because he's too focused on Yixing, who has jumped off the stage and is now heading straight for their table with fast strides. Joonmyun tenses up, preparing himself for the inevitable confrontation. He still has no idea what he's going to say, but hopes he'll be able to work something out as he goes along. He has to fix this. “Hey,” Yixing says once he reaches them, a little breathless.

“I... didn't know you could play the piano,” Joonmyun says. He really doesn't know what else to do. Yixing doesn't say anything to respond, though, he just keeps looking right at Joonmyun like he can't believe he's actually there. Joonmyun gulps. His palms are clammy from nervousness. He takes a deep breath to steel himself and then he mutters: “Uhm, we... we should probably... talk.”

“Please,” Yixing practically blurts out. He looks so happy and eager and almost desperate all at the same time, and Joonmyun's chest aches. “But... maybe we should go somewhere else.”

Joonmyun casts a glance around and he can tell just by looking that several of the people sitting at the tables nearby are eavesdropping. They may not be watching, but they're clearly listening. It makes him uncomfortable. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Do you want to, uhm... go for a walk?”

“Let me go get my things,” Yixing immediately says. “Please don't... don't go anywhere, alright?” He has run off before Joonmyun can even begin to think of a reply.

Joonmyun looks at Jongdae. He feels kind of bad about leaving him when they were supposed to be having drinks together, but Jongdae notices his concerned expression and waves it away. “Don't worry about me, hyung,” he says. “You just go do what you have to do, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine here on my own.” Joonmyun hasn't missed the looks Jongdae has been exchanging with the pretty woman working behind the bar throughout the night, and he knows that's probably part of the reason why Jongdae lets him go without any form of protest. He makes a conscious decision not to say anything about it, though. He owes Jongdae that much.

Yixing returns, looking jittery. “Are you ready?”

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do,” Jongdae remarks as Joonmyun stands up. “We have a meeting tomorrow morning, remember?”

Joonmyun glowers, recognizing his own words being thrown back at him. “I'll see you later,” is all he says. Jongdae waves at Yixing and Joonmyun as they leave the bar.

They've barely made it ten feet down the sidewalk before Yixing starts talking. “I'm really sorry for what happened,” he blurts out. “I know I've already said it about a thousand times in all the messages I sent these past few days, but I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say, I... sorry.” He's speaking so fast his words slur together and he's wringing his hands in front of himself, looking everywhere but at Joonmyun. “I'm not very good with words, I'm sorry. I wanted... I wanted to... I don't know, I'm just really, really sorry. I'm so sorry.”

“Hey hey, it's alright,” Joonmyun interrupts his rambling. “You don't have to apologize. Really. I should be the one to do that. I... I've been so stupid and immature and I know I should've answered your calls and your texts and... and I know now that it would've been so easy to work things out if I had just done that, I was just s-... I was s-scared.” He swallows thickly. Spilling his heart like that is not something he does very often, but perhaps he should make a habit out of it. It's liberating, in a way. Cathartic. “So I'm sorry.”

They come to a halt at a stop light, waiting for it to change so they can cross the street. Yixing has turned to look at Joonmyun now. He appears to be thinking over his words, chewing on his bottom lip, so Joonmyun remains quiet and lets him think. “Are you mad at me?” Yixing finally asks.

Joonmyun furrows his brow. “Why would I be mad?”

“I... I don't know, I just... thought... I don't know. I was so afraid that you... that you hated me.” Yixing's voice is so small as he says it and that, too, makes Joonmyun's heart clench.

“Why would I hate you?” Yixing averts his gaze again, shrugging. Joonmyun heaves a long sigh. “Well, I don't hate you. Do you hate me?”

Yixing's mouth twitches, though it seems to be more of a nervous tic than a budding smile. He turns his head to meet Joonmyun's gaze straight on. “I would never be able to hate you,” he says, slowly but with great conviction.

“Good,” Joonmyun says, gulping at the intensity of Yixing's stare. “That's... good.” Yixing nods. He hasn't taken his eyes off Joonmyun yet, and it's doing strange, though not at all unpleasant, things to Joonmyun's insides.

“Oh, by the way...” Yixing reaches into his pocket to pull out something. That something turns out to be a tie, which looks a lot like the ones Joonmyun usually wears, paisley pattern and all. “You forgot this at my place last time,” Yixing explains.

“Have you been carrying this around the whole time?” Joonmyun asks, surprised.

Yixing scratches the back of his neck. “Uhm, kinda? I mean... yeah. I don't really know why, though.” He grimaces. “I hope you don't think I'm a creep or anything.”

“No.” Joonmyun shakes his head. He takes the tie out of Yixing's hand and puts it into his own pocket. “Thank you.” Yixing just shrugs as if it's no big deal.

The light changes from red to green and they start walking again. They have reverted back to tense silence, and Joonmyun wants to break it, but he doesn't know what to say. “Can we just... can we start over or something?” Yixing asks after a while. “Can we just forget that all of this happened and try to go back to the way we were before?”

Joonmyun nods as well. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah. Let's do that.” Yixing smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and Joonmyun realizes that he really doesn't like that kind of smile, especially not on Yixing. It's weird. Joonmyun thought he would feel relieved after making up with Yixing, but he doesn't. Most of all, he just feels unsatisfied. Unsatisfied and unsettled.

~*~

A/N:

"another taehyung gif?" you ask. "when will it stop?" you ask. "will it ever stop?" you ask. the truth is, I ask myself this exact question almost every day and I have yet to find an answer. let me know if you do.

aaanyyyyyway. yeah. hi. :D I told a couple of you guys that I usually update every wednesday night. "but, goo, today isn't wednesday?" you say (is anyone actually saying these things or am I just a sad person having weird conversations with myself via text? more on this at nine). welp... since the last chapter ended off at kind of a cliffhanger and this story now somehow has over 1000(???) subscribers, I figured I'd be a good sport and post the next chapter a bit early... so here it is. \o/ I'll still post another chapter for my regular schedule too, don't worry. :D

as usual I don't really have much to say about it, it's just more dumbuttery, more pining, more beating around the bush like awkward tweens. I'm getting so frustrated with these kids, istg. even though I was the one who wrote this story, I always sit here like

sigh.

despite the frustration, I hope you will all continue to give me lots of love. you guys are seriously the best. ;; ♥