Joonmyun doesn't avoid Dimples. He doesn't. Sure, maybe he has chosen not to walk through the park on his way to work anymore, but it's not because he's avoiding him, totally not. It's just easier for Joonmyun this way. It's easier for him to get off at his regular stop and spend those extra few minutes (because even though he has tried his hardest to revert back into his old routine, his body still stubbornly insists on making him leave the apartment with some time to spare in the morning) rereading the papers for the meeting he's going into or talking to some of his colleagues. It's just easier. Simple as that.

But not seeing Dimples on a regular basis doesn't necessarily mean that Joonmyun's mind stops bringing him up. His dimpled smile and twinkling eyes almost seem to be etched into the back of Joonmyun's eyelids. He can see both of those things when he's in bed at night trying to fall asleep, every time he closes his eyes, every time as much as blinks. It's taking a toll on his ability to focus despite his promise not to let himself get distracted.

On top of all of this, there's this song helplessly stuck on a loop in Joonmyun's head and that is certainly no help. The song has been there for days and sometimes he catches himself humming it under his breath when he's going about his business. He doesn't remember any of the words. He doesn't even recall who made the song or how he knows it in the first place. All he knows is that the melody is haunting him.

Apparently it's bad enough for others to notice his lack of concentration as well. Joonmyun jerks when a pair of fingers snap repeatedly in front of his face and he turns his head to look at Jongdae with a startled expression. Jongdae is playfully scowling. “I know that this isn't exactly the most fascinating thing in the entire world, hyung, but I would still appreciate it if you paid attention to me when I talk. At least a little bit.”

“Sorry.” Joonmyun flushes, rubbing the back of his neck. “I'm really sorry, Jongdae, I...”

For some seconds Jongdae studies his face. Then, with a sigh, he puts down his pen. “Alright,” he says with a tone of someone long-suffering. “Tell me what's going on. Go ahead, I'll listen.”

Joonmyun hesitates. He has never confided in Jongdae before. It's not that he doesn't like him, they're just not particularly close either. They're on a first name basis, their offices are next to each other and they have worked together for about a year and collaborated on several projects, but that's all there really is to it. They're just co-workers. “It's nothing,” Joonmyun mumbles.

“Hyung, come on.” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “We can't work together if you're not actually capable of working.” There's something about his smile that's encouraging, mildly taunting without being off-putting. It makes Joonmyun wonder why he never tried harder with Jongdae. Jongdae has never been anything but nice to Joonmyun. He's sure they could have been good friends if he had just thought about giving it a chance.

In the end, Joonmyun sighs in defeat. “It's just... I-I have this... this song stuck in my head,” he murmurs and he pulls a face. It sounds so trivial, so dumb, when he puts it like that. It definitely doesn't sound like something that should be distracting him from doing his job, not to this extent.

Jongdae looks suitably unimpressed. “That's it? A song? And here I was thinking I was going to get some grand confession about how you've finally managed to get over your apparent fear of women long enough to invite one into your bed.” Joonmyun blushes at Jongdae's implications. That means he has noticed Joonmyun lack of a love life even though they don't really associate with each other outside of work. Jongdae continues unperturbed: “Which song are we talking about?”

“That's the thing,” Joonmyun exhales, resisting the urge to slump over the table. That would be very unprofessional. “I have no idea.” Jongdae looks even more unimpressed by this confession and Joonmyun feels the sudden need to defend himself, quickly saying: “I don't know the lyrics, only the melody.” Sheepishly he hums the few lines he can remember. It's a little shaky due to the anxiousness he feels from doing this in front of someone else, but he took choir for ten years so it's not completely terrible... he thinks... he hopes.

Jongdae listens quietly and after a just few seconds his face lights up in recognition. “Oh, I know this!” He launches into his own rendition of the song, and Joonmyun simultaneously realizes three things. One: Jongdae is a really good singer (there's this tiny voice in the back of Joonmyun's head telling him that it doesn't sound as nice as a certain someone else. Joonmyun quickly smothers that tendril of thought before it manifests.) Two: the reason why he didn't remember the lyrics is because they're not in Korean. Three: he now recalls how he knows the song and the realization is mortifying. “New Endless Love by Jam Hsiao,” Jongdae says with a grin when he's done singing.

“You know Chinese?” Joonmyun asks. It's all he can think to say. Anything else would either make him look bad or cause his mind to wander into areas he's been trying very hard to stay away from.

Jongdae shrugs. “I took Mandarin classes for a few years back in high school. It's a really beautiful language.” He grins wider, tongue poking out between his teeth. “Also, I may or may not have wanted to impress this really hot exchange student who went to our school.” Joonmyun chuckles a little as well. “How do you know this song, though?”

“Uhm...” Jongdae leans forward expectantly at the sound of Joonmyun's tentative tone almost as if he's greedy to get some dirt on him. That's a scary thought. Joonmyun's eyes flicker uncertainly. “I walked by this street musician a few days ago and he was playing it. I guess it stuck with me.” He finishes off with a stiff shrug and an even stiffer chuckle. Jongdae deflates visibly at the innocence of it all, but he seems to accept it as a response.

“I guess,” he says, picking his pen back up. “Well, now that that is out of the world, do you think we can get back to work? We kind of have a deadline.”

Joonmyun sighs. “Yeah. Sure.” It wasn't untrue, though. Now that he thinks about it he clearly remembers Dimples sitting on his regular bench in the park with his guitar, and he had sung that song so nice and clear and the notes trickled down Joonmyun's back in the most pleasant way and made goosebumps rise on his skin. But that was one of the first times Joonmyun came to see him play. It was weeks ago. Joonmyun doesn't understand why the song made a big enough impact on him to stay in his head for such a long time.

They get some more work out of the way before they decide to call it quits and take a break. It's close to lunchtime anyway. Jongdae has gathered his things and is about to leave Joonmyun's office, already has his hand on the doorknob, when he pauses and turns back around. “Hey, hyung?” he says and when Joonmyun nods for him to go on he continues: “You wanna go grab lunch? There's this place not too far from here that has really nice food.”

Joonmyun thinks about the last time he actually went out of the building for food during the day. It quickly occurs to him that he doesn't remember the last time. Usually he just buys lunch from the cafeteria a few floors down or brings food from home and eats in his office alone. It's been such a long time since he did anything other than that. That may have something to do with the fact that he doesn't have anyone to do these things with, though. Going out to eat by yourself can be pretty depressing... and that is if the restaurant workers will even let you have a table. Joonmyun has been turned down more than once.

Right now Jongdae's smile is inviting, a kind offer. A smile slowly spreads on Joonmyun's face as well. “Sure.” Maybe he can afford a bit of a distraction after all.

Jongdae waits by the door as Joonmyun grabs his wallet and his jacket, and when Joonmyun approaches him he casually slings an arm around his shoulders like they're the best of friends. It startles Joonmyun a little at first. He's not really all that used to skinship, especially not coming from people he doesn't know very well. He tries to keep the emotion from showing on his face, though. It's not unwelcome, just unfamiliar.

Some of the people they pass on the way to the elevator actually seem surprised to see them go, which just confirms Joonmyun's thoughts of how he really needs to get out more. “Oh yeah, by the way,” Jongdae says. He still has his arm draped around Joonmyun. “Just to make it clear before you get your hopes up, this isn't supposed to be a date or anything. I know I'm hot, but I really like .” He shrugs. “Sorry.” Joonmyun wonders if it would be too bold of a move for him to punch Jongdae right now. Jongdae flashes him a -eating grin. Joonmyun decides that it wouldn't.

The indignant squawk Jongdae emits when Joonmyun's fist collides with his shoulder is strangely gratifying, but when Jongdae pulls away to rub at the sore spot there's this brief flash of dread in Joonmyun's gut and he worries that he crossed some kind of line. Jongdae is looking at him with an unreadable expression now. Joonmyun gulps. Then he huffs. “Please.” His chuckle is awkward and possibly bordering on slightly hysteric. “As-as if I'd even be into someone like you. Don't flatter yourself.” The elevator dings and the doors slide open. Joonmyun steps inside.

When he turns around Jongdae is still standing in the same spot, but his expression has morphed into an incredulous one. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he demands to know. He takes a step forward as well just as the doors are about to close on him. Without saying anything Joonmyun reaches out to press the button for the bottom floor. He purposely avoids looking Jongdae in the eye. Jongdae whines. “Hyung!”

“If I had known you were going to be so whiny I wouldn't have agreed to have lunch with you,” Joonmyun sighs mock-resentfully. He tries to dodge the retaliating punch his comment gets him. Jongdae's knuckles nick his upper arm.

“If I had know you were going to be so mean to me I wouldn't have invited you in the first place.” Jongdae scowls at him, but his lips seem to be twitching into a smile and when Joonmyun grins carefully, Jongdae can't hold back any longer. He laughs and lets his arm wrap around Joonmyun's shoulders again, and Joonmyun thinks to himself that this isn't so bad, opening up to people. Maybe he should do it some more.

~*~

A/N: introducing kim jongdae, who is one of my favorite characters in this story. kim jongdae wins at life.

anyway. this is kind of a deeper look into the mess that is joonmyun's personality. he's the type of person to put everything into his job, and he has worked very hard to get where he is today, but in the process he has lost pretty much all of his social life. all work and no play makes joonmyun a lonely, angst-ridden boy (more on this later when former psych student kim jongdae puts his character study skills to work... kim jongdae wins at life!!).

the song that gets stuck in joonmyun's head is this because I have listened to it 38491 times and got it stuck in my head just as many.

there's not a lot of sulay in this chapter and not even a lot of yixing (other than in spirit, oooh, scareh ghost!xing, 3spoopy5me), so here is a nice gif of zhang yixing to make up for that:

it is currently 12:30am. I have to get up at 7:30. on a saturday. there should be laws to prohibit these kinds of things. anywayyyyy... today has been kind of really y, so it would be wonderfully wonderful if you pretty kitties could leave me lots and lots of nice comments for me to read when I get back home from my thing. yeah? yeah!

bye~ (^3^)ノ♥