[TAEMIN]
 

Those words were enough to make my chest compress. It's like I'm out of air. I don't want to believe it. I wish he was only lying to me. I stared at his eyes. There was so much worry in it. It wasn't a prank that he would always pull. He's telling the truth.

I keep a straight face as I looked down to the things I held. I realize I was holding it forcibly, that the bouquet was crumpled up, and the box was shaking from the pressure I was exerting.

Onew saw this and reassured me to leave the place. He began to lead me to moving out. We reached the exit. But my feet didn't complied anymore. Instead, I stopped on my tracks and turned to face him.

"Hyung, let me talk to her. I'll just finish things up." I plainly said as I pass him my supposedly presents for Hannah.

He heaved a sigh, a frustrated one. But he still nodded and let me go.

I ran back to where Hannah's office was located. I didn't mind knocking anymore and just dash my way in. I entered the room, slightly panting. My eyes immediately darted to the surprised look in her face.

She was sitting in her desk, probably doing paperworks. But she stopped and stared at me. I stepped closer to her without even minding to close the door. I stood infront her table. And no one dared to talk for seconds. Until she stood up from her seat.

"W-Why are you h-here?" She stuttered while casually glancing at the door.

"What am I to you Hannah-ssi?" I ignored her question. I looked closely in her eyes and saw uneasiness in them.

"What are you talking--"

"Do you still love me?" I cut her off and shoved another question. My eyes were burning with fierce.

"Taemin what are you--"

"I'm asking you if you still love me!" I threatened.

"I can't figure out why you're being mad right now!" She yelled back. Her tears were lurking in her tearducts.

"You can't say it because the truth is, you still do right?" I smirked but I was desperately holding back my tears. "You're still my biggest fan. The one who promised to admire me and love me forever. You're still wearing my bracelet, you're still waiting for me."

I glanced on her wrist before looking back in her eyes. "Don't lie, you still do love me, Li Hannah."

She quieted down and lowered her head. I waited for her to speak. But when she turned up again, she was already crying. I wanted to hug her right now, say sorry for yelling at her. I wanted to kiss her tears away. But I never had a chance.

"You're ruining my life Lee Taemin." She started after wiping the tears that have rolled down. "Since the day I became your obsessed fan, then meeting you, being your lover, even until now that I was completely over you, you're still there to destroy everything!"

My eyes widened. I was hearing the words that I would never want to hear.

"And this? I'm tired of keeping it to be honest. So here, save it before I throw it away." She took off the bracelet from her wrist and place it bluntly in my hand. Her tears were falling with her anger, and I could feel the beginning of the end has come.

"All was done between us, Lee Taemin. And I'm sorry...I'm sorry if that girl you once knew 3 years ago...was already gone."


 

***

~In one of SHINee's practice rooms, Taemin was dancing alone for hours already. He was exhausting himself, making every move with more force, more sharpness. He was obviously tired and weak. And his muscles were already sore.

But he never stopped until his legs finally gave in. He fell on the floor, before he cursed aloud. He stood up, but instead of continuing the steps throughout the music, he ran to the wall. A loud grunt echoed in the room when he slammed his fist on the concrete.

Not only once, but many times. Until his knuckles collected painful cuts. But he was somehow immuned to the pain, that he didn't even winced by the sight of his fresh wounds.

He collapsed on the floor, catching his breath from the tension of letting out his anger. The upbeat music he was dancing to awhile ago have ended. And by the intro of the next song, he shut his eyes when he recognize his solo starting to play.

He smirked with sarcasm, thinking how the lyrics of the song have fit his mood perfectly. He wrote it himself. And he could've predicted that the lines would strike him someday. And by now, he was caught.
 

♪♫ ♪♫ 

Everything that I've done for you
You say it isn't true, it never happened
Come close, tell me more clearly
Look into my eyes and talk after wiping those tears

I can't let you go
I won't forget you
I think you'll regret it
Don't lie, baby
Tonight, baby

Please stay here
Remain radiantly beautiful
Remain

Oh, why
Why do you disappoint me?
You leave, you no longer need me
I can't see, my tears block my view   ♪♫ ♪♫ 
 

He could only see her face. Thoughts of her were running in his mind. He regret everything. If he only knew the second time with her would hurt more than the last, he could've ran away in the very first place.

He could've acted that he never recognized her. But it's too late. From the very beginning, all is too late when he had fallen in love with her.

Just as the music says, he felt his tears run down the sides of his face. It could've not been obvious because it have joined his sweat somehow. But he began to cover his mouth by the back of his hand, when his sobbing went out of control.

He was crying hard. And he promise that it would be the last time he'll do.



 

***
 

~Early in the morning the next day, Taemin and Onew were ready to leave for their secret trip. They would be gone for an estimated time of 4 hours. Onew's reason for this though, is to visit his dying girlfriend.

Yes he has a girlfriend, and besides his family, only Taemin knew about this. That's why they would like to go together.

Even their members didn't know about this. And their fingers were crossed when they hopped inside an accomplice's dark van to begin their journey.

After Taemin came back from talking to Hannah yesterday, Onew was surprised that the maknae didn't showed any signs of hurt. He was relieved that Taemin was stronger now. He could easily get things done by himself, the leader thought.



 

***

~Time flew fast and by the help of their skillful bodyguards, they arrived in Japan without anybody noticing them. They jumped from car to car, until they were instructed to use the secret passage of the hospital where Onew's girlfriend was admitted.

The two were followed behind by their bodyguards until they reached the said room.

"You're not coming inside?" Onew asked. He notice Taemin was just standing by the distance while he was already preparing to get inside.

"Later. You two needed time alone." The younger gestured reassuringly.

Onew was about to turn the doorknob, when he notice something. Taemin have brought a huge bag pack with him. And he thought it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"Why did you pack a lot?" The older pointed out.

"It's because I thought we would have an overnight here." Taemin chuckled.

"Silly!" Onew teased before he finally entered the room.

Taemin stepped closer to the door. He heard their sweet greetings, but later, everything went quiet. And then he heard Onew's worried voice, asking the girl to stop crying.

A deep sigh escaped Taemin's lips. He wasn't the only one hurting. His hyung was also going through a lot. And he knew the other members were keeping problems to themselves too. And they were still able to keep their lives going.

He admit he wasn't as strong as them. So he decided to go on with his plan. He made his way to the bare hospital hallways.

"Excuse me sir, where are you going?" One of the man called out while catching up to him.

"To the comfort room. Wanna come?" He answered while he continues to move away. He made his steps nice and smooth, so that they wouldn't suspect anything.

He heard the the man stop on his tracks. He wasn't being followed anymore. And this made the maknae smile evilly. His plan have worked.