An audible bump by the window and a certain pain that hit the side of my head. I squint my eyes open, furrowing my eyebrows when I realized the car was furiously speeding up. 
 

"Ahjussi, can you slow down please?" I mumbled while still rubbing sleep in my eyes. I turned at the driver after, eyeing his back view intently, I noticed he was wrapped up in like bundles of clothing. I waited for him to slow down the car. But then, he didn't.
 

"I'm sorry but you're already late." He croaked. It sounded like he's trying to fake his voice by chapping it down.
 

My eyes widened in puzzlement. "Excuse me?" I exclaimed. I turned at the window, darting my eyes through the already dark outside, I could still see clearly that we were taking the wrong way.
 

I may be not too good at directions, but this...this way...I couldn't be wrong...it's the opposite way to the airport...
 

It's the way to Taemin's house. And I could tell that we're just a couple of blocks away from him.
 

I heard the driver chuckle softly. The sound of his voice, slowly giving hints that made me almost die in disbelief. Until he began to uncover much of his face. He stopped the car and for the most heart skipping moment, he turned and grinned at me.
 

My jaw dropped. "What the-?!" I stared at him in shock while he burst out laughing. "Kai?! What are you-"
 

Once he refrained from laughing, he moved his hand and pointed out the window. My eyes followed it, and found out that we're already in front of Taemin's house. 
 

"I should really get paid in doing this all the time." He murmured jokingly, then he went out the car and opened the trunk to get my bags out. 
 

I scrambled in my seat. "Yah! What are you doing? I'm gonna miss my flight!" I quickly jumped out the car.
 

I ran after him as he rushed to put my things on the doorstep. I reached my bags and started to strap all of it on my body, but then, when I turned around, Kai was already on his way to get back in the cab. 
 

He was chuckling all the time while waving at me before he drove off, leaving me frozen on the spot. Until the place was all quiet, except for the gust of wind, lapping with my hitched breaths.
 

I could feel cold sweat running on the sides of my face. My bags were slipping off my shoulders, and I couldn't find the strength to put them back on. I'm doomed. Finding another cab in this place is quite impossible, and it's already dark for the idea of walking on my feet, just to get away from here.
 

My face crunched up while I slowly turned to one side, remembering what he said about meeting him in the backyard. My heart suddenly felt like bursting out. I was perhaps scared to face him. I don't know what to say to him. 
 

My eyes were able to glance down the ground, where I noticed a few rose petals that were barely obvious. I stared at them for awhile until I figured out that it has supposed to be leading somewhere. 
 

I put myself together before I followed the petals with my trembling feet. I made my tracks as light as I could, avoiding the loud crunches of dead leaves in each step I make. 
 

I was holding my breath just before I arrived at the backyard. Eyes sparkling in surprise when I took sight of the place. I haven't been here before, nor I had the chance to check out this secretive corner. 
 

I looked around in daze. There were hanging strings of light bulbs all over the place. Yet, this wasn't the thing that almost popped my eyes out. There, in the center of the field, lies a big oak tree, wherein a pretty house was beautifully casted in the middle of its branches. The tree house was blanketed with colorful lights that would blink prettily from time to time.
 

For a moment, I was completely absorbed with the wonderful place that I almost had a heart attack when a hand suddenly covered my eyes from behind. 
 

"Guess who.." The sound of his voice went with the shuffling of the leaves. So serene, beautiful. But then it didn't made me anything less nervous.
 

I swallowed hard as I touched his hand and moved them away, slowly turning around to find him already smiling adorably at me. It's as if time slowed down when I looked into his eyes. They were shimmering. A sad glint of brightness that even his dark hair couldn't hide. Even that smile he makes couldn't match the way his eyes pleads for something.
 

He then pulled his hand out from his back, revealing a bouquet of red roses, which he offered to me immediately.
 

"T-Thank you." I stammered accepting it. Drawing my attention at it for awhile, taking in its smell in the hope of shooing away the sinking feeling of tears I have somehow foreseen. 
 

"How was it?" He asked. I turned up at him, startled. He walked pass me and he turned around flinging his arms in the air when he stood at the middle. 
 

"This." He says, smiling. "How was my surprise for you?" He wanders his eyes around, but they were casually glancing for my reply. 
 

"It's..." He turned his waiting doe eyes at me. "Perfect." I said. He suppressed a smile. Then he moved closer to reach for my hand.
 

"Come, let's go up." He pulled me towards the base of the oak tree wherein a rope ladder was hanging. "Ladies first." He bowed like a prince. 
 

A small smile tugged at my lips. I left the bouquet on the ground before I grabbed the first set of bars and started to climb up. "Careful Jagi." He said while he followed after me. 
 

When my feet landed on the small porch of the tree house, my eyes immediately maundered through the netted curtains in the doorway, that were cascading along with the smooth breeze of air.
 

I moved about and took a peek inside, relishing each dazzling corner of the tiny cabin. It was dimly lit by lights that were emitted from hundreds of mini lanterns that were all over the high ceiling. And I could barely see the floor inside because it was completely covered by a firm cushion that made it look like a luxurious playroom.
 

"Whoa..." I gasped on my own.
 

"You like it?" Taemin murmured on my back. I nodded my head. 
 

"Can I.." I hesitated. 
 

"What are you-" He exclaimed. "Ofcourse!" He chuckled then held my hand to lead me inside.
 

We both went in after taking off our shoes. Our bare feet, eventually sinking in the soft cushion as we both took careful steps because I couldn't look at where I was going. He guided me while my eyes continued to roam around in daze.
 

"Remember this?" He suddenly asked. I turned at him to find a very familiar book in his hand. My mouth gaped open as he smiles at me while holding the scrapbook which I've lost years ago.
 

I grabbed the book and run the pages in disbelief. "You kept this?" He nodded quietly. 
 

"Oh, I could still remember that time when you thought I was a sasaeng." I laughed, skimming through the old pages. 
 

He then moved closer to get the book from me, before he held one of my hands. I have no choice but to anxiously look back in his beautiful hazel eyes.
 

"Didn't you first liked me because of this?" He asked. "Because of the things I do as an idol?"
 

I stood there, sorting out his calm expression. I thought of it. He was right, because right there and then I was just his fan, until he proved that he was so much better than what a fan could ever know.
 

He didn't called for an answer. "So now, I've got to tell you that I have reached my dreams. Being an idol, I have accomplished my goals. And I think there's no more use in continuing my career and revealing myself in front of the cameras."
 

My eyes winced in affliction. Is he saying that...
 

"I've secretly filed a lawsuit against my company, Jagi." He continued. "Finally, it was granted just yesterday and-"
 

My eyebrows furrowed. "You what?!" I gasped aloud. "Taemin, why do you have to give up what you've worked for a very long time?" I reproved, looking at him in confound. "Don't tell me I'm the one who caused this again." I studied his expression and got the answer from his silence.
 

"That's it." I snapped, breaking off of his hold and turning away for the exit. "I'm leaving." I started to put my shoes back on and finished in no time. I turned my back at him.
 

"Yeah, go on, that's what you're good at, right?!" He hollered sarcastically, making me stop in my tracks, I froze in awhile, feeling my chest sink again. 
 

"Do you ever know how to stay and fight for us instead of running away from this?" He scoffed. "Well, I bet you don't. You're disgusting, 'cause you're nothing but a coward. A wimp girl that only knows how to love when things were right. I should've know you were this immature."
 

His words made my fists crunch up. It's my first time hearing him like this, and I was deliriously frustrated that he was pointing out the wrong thing. I was obviously doing this to not cause further trouble towards him and his sparkling fame, since it's clear that I wasn't that good enough for him.
 

Since I could never be anything but a burden to him, since I'm just an ordinary girl, and he's a drop dead gorgeous star that's merely a million miles away ever from my reach. 
 

I swiftly turned to face him, raging of the words that I was about to burst out.
 

"Go on." He shut me up before I could even start. "Tell me everything. Tell me what you really wanted me to hear, Li Hannah." He raved.
 

For some pathetic reason, I just stood there without a single word. Somehow, my tongue wasn't ready for any retort. I retreated, surrendered, just when I look back at his infuriated blazing eyes. 
 

They were locked intensely at me. That menacing stare that almost blinded out my sight, yet I wasn't even willing to turn away from it. It's like the kind of spell he have always been casting on me. 
 

He have once again bewitched me with his innate perfection. And if I could only speak out to him right now, if only I have the guts to say what I really wanted him to hear, these were the words I ought. 
 

Lee Taemin, I'll love you forever...Let's not break up...Let's stay together...

Even though those were the words my heart is yelling in front of you right now, those weren't the words I wanted to say to you...

Heart breaking words...Words that will make me alone...I want to end by those words...

I want to say...

I don't want you anymore...Don't wait...Don't even come in here...

The words that I hate...The words that I don't like...

Let's say words like that...I know, it will hurt but I want you to say those words...

I wan't YOU to get me out of your life...

because I myself...

...couldn't do it anymore...