[Hannah]


 

"7pm at my place. Meet me at the backyard. I have something to show you."

I stared vacantly at the screen even after I've read his message.

"If you won't show up, I'll let go of you then."

I crunched down to the floor. Eyes, already hazed by the tears I didn't called for.

"I promise I'll let you go this time. When I promise, I never break it."

The words became blurred. The letters, doubling up an overcast. My lips pursed, muffling the small whimpers of ache that broke off after holding it up for a seemingly long time.

It heaved a skip of heartbeat when his caller tone began ringing furiously. I swallowed my cries before I suddenly gave up and accepted his call for the first time since we parted.

I quieted down. There was shuffling on the other line, then his surprised voice came racing off.

"Ja-jagi-jagiya?" His voice made me cry even harder. My hand, thrivingly drowning all the cries that tries to run to him. "Jagiya...I miss you... Are you there?"

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't believe I'm leaving him again. I couldn't believe that this would probably be the last time I could hear his voice, calling me. I held the phone away and was about to press the finish button.

"Jagi wait! D-don't go. Don't hang up yet." He says in a hurry, making me stop briefly. I slowly held the phone back to my ear with my quivering hand.

"Please let me hear at least your breath." He said, before everything was quiet. Like the two of us weren't there. Like our breathing was the only thing that was making our hearts speak, keeping us somehow together in the least way.

"I hope you'll show up. Please show up. Please come back to me Jagiya~" His voice started to tremble. It's as if he was holding up his own cries just like what I was doing.

I shut my eyes as I bundled up all my courage to finally press the hang up button. There was a last beep before his line was gone. Then my head automatically sunk down to my knees, burying my face, as well as my cries to the fabric of my jeans.

My head was spinning. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell him. I don't know.

 

"Darling, are you okay?"

It was eomeoni's voice after the door to my room creaked open. I didn't want to show my swollen face to her so I nodded my head which was still buried in my arms. I felt her move and crouch next to me.

"I told you, I think you should hear what he'll say before you go." She brushed her fingers in my hair, trying to soothe me up.

I heaved a long breath. "Eomeoni, I'm scared." I mumbled under each huff of sob I made. I heard her gasped in question.

"I'm afraid I would make the wrong choice if I would let myself see him again. I'm afraid I wouldn't take it and just surrender to him in return. Then everything would go even worse eomeoni." My words went racing. I wasn't even sure if she heard every bit of it.

She sighed reassuringly. "You know, it's not what others say that counts. It's your feelings for each other that only matters, my dear."

I turned up surprisingly at her. I was puzzled. I haven't told her anything about my deal with the CEO, I only told her that my reason for leaving is to keep his son out from the troubles I bring to him. But hearing her speak like this, it's as if she knows everything.

She smiled then reached her hands to wipe my dampened cheeks.

Is she urging me to meet up with him? Why? Did he told her of what he would be telling me? What is it that was left of him to tell?

After eomeoni went to visit him earlier, I noticed her brighten up when she came home. "Trust me. You have to meet him." She whispered and smiled.


 

***


 

My things were all packed up. I was all dressed to leave, and the cab I called was already waiting for me outside. I held my bags and turned at eomeoni's troubled expression.

I smiled. "I hope you understand eomeoni." She nodded in doubt, her eyebrows crunching tensely. We moved in and embraced each other.

She sighed. "So, perhaps all I could say is take care?" She forced a small laugh. It still bothers her that I decided to turn away from his son's last request. "Have a safe trip my dear."

I nodded. "Komawo for everything eomeoni." I bowed in front of her before I started moving out. I turned at her one last time before I closed the gate.

I jumped into the cab's backseats. "Good evening ahjussi." I greeted. "To Incheon airport please." I told the driver.

I settled myself to comfort and pulled out my earphones. Striving to take a nap while the trip goes on, I closed my eyes but a flash of eomeoni's unusual worried look awhile ago was keeping me from drowsing off. I think there was really something big that caused her to get dismayed and disappointed like that.

Somehow, a flood of thoughts went flowing in my mind. Trying to figure out what was what, eomeoni's voice started to echo all over my head.
 

"Trust me. You have to meet him."