Thanks Juliada3 for the review! <3

Story Title: Season Changes

Author: hann

Link: www.winglin.net/fanfic/seasonchange/
Status: On-going

Reviewer: Juliada3

*Note: I am not prejudiced toward the author or their fanfic in any way, this review is purely objective and is intended to help the author in becoming a better writer.*

Title: 2/5
Your title was not very specific and didn't quite match with your story. It had nothing to do with the seasons, except for a very vague metaphor about Fahrenheit. It kind of worked, but the title doesn't catch people's attention very much, because it doesn't draw the reader in. The symbols at the end were also extraneous and not needed.

Forewords: 1/10
Your forewords told nothing about your story whatsoever. You gave no synopsis of the story, and you didn't describe the characters or even tell who your characters were. You could draw more readers with a good forewords.

First Impression: 6/10
My first impression was that your story was okay. Your poster was good, and your background was okay, but I wasn't that impressed with it. I couldn't quite grasp the mood or theme that you were going for, since the main color was pink. It just didn't seem to convey a message.

Plot/Story line: 13/15
I was surprised to realize that your plot was basically four stories kind of tied up into one. At first, I thought it was just one story. When I got to the second part, then I realized that you had four mini stories. I was pretty interested in your story and I hope you do the Calvin story soon, and wrap all of the stories up.

Flow: 3/5
Your flow was pretty good, but you started rushing near the end of the third story. You already acknowledged that, but you should go back and fix it to make it better.

Creativity/Originality: 9/10
I thought this idea was pretty creative. I liked it because you were able to show everyone's point of view and their own story. That was pretty original. You also turned Aaron into a mute, which I've never seen before, and you also gave Hebe a disability. I liked the Bebu story, and I actually think that one was the best one out of the three that you have written so far.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 10/15
You had a few grammar mistakes, and you misspelled some words. Your vocabulary could improve, but your punctuation seemed fine.

Writing Style: 9/10
Your writing style is good. You separate every couple of lines with space, which helps the readers reading it because they don't get lost. It also makes it easier to read. It's in paragraph form, which I like to use too, but since it is, you could make use of tons of details to describe it.

Characterization: 6/10
Your characterization of Ella was pretty good. When Chun described her, you could really understand her. Aaron was also explained pretty well. You could improve if you described all of the characters, not just a couple, and make all of them come to life.

Communication with Readers: 3/5
One of the moments when I thought the communication was good was when Aaron and Hebe find out each others' disabilities. You sympathize with both of them, and when they are hurt by Rainie's words, you want to comfort them. On the other two stories, I couldn't seem to feel the same communication as the first one. Keep working hard!

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
I actually liked this story quite a bit. It is really interesting. I'll be waiting for you to finish it!

Subtotal: 65/100

Bonus: 3/5

Total: 68/100

**

I've got to improve ((:
Thanks a lot!

Sorry that I'll be on a short hiatus due to mind block and assignments. I know I've been like this recently and I deeply apologize for it.

But I'm not giving up on this story! (:

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