You yawn and stretch as you wake up. A cough forcefully escapes your throat and you noticed that your nose is blocked. You sigh as you realize that you're sick. "Ugh," you say as you sit up with your back against the headboard. Your eyes narrow to your phone that was plugged to the wall as it charged fully. You quickly rush to it as you remember that it died yesterday while you were out and wondered if there were any messages you may have missed. Your eyes widen at the over 10 missed called and 22 text messages. "Oh my gosh, what the hell." You say as you skim through it, seeing texts from Jay, Yukwon, L.Joe, L and surprisingly one from Minhyuk. "This was all from yesterday?"

"Yup." 

You hear Jay's voice reply from behind. You turn around to see him standing by the doorframe with a towel on his shoulder and his hair half dry. 

"You looked through my text messages?" You gave him the death stare. 

He opens his closet, looking for clothes to wear as he's just wearing a tank top and shorts. "You were quite a hassle yesterday." He didn't answer your question. 

"You looked through my text messages?"

He grabs black jeans, a burgundy v-neck and a cardigan. "Lots of people were looking for you and your phone being dead didn't really help." He slides his closet shut. 

Again, still not replying. "You looke-"

"It was there when I charged your phone. We have the same phone so it was a reflex checking it. I didn't open any of them if that's what you're so cautious about."

You checked and he was right. The icons were still there indicating your inbox wasn't touched. "Oh... Good." You check each text message, seeing how they asked about your whereabouts and why you never replied. 

"I'm going to go change. Let me know if there's anywhere you want to go today."

Something about that didn't sound right. "Don't we have school?"

He chuckled, "Did you not check the time?" He sees your clueless expression and a smile appears on his. "Anyways, let me know. I'll be right back." He shuts the door closed.

You looked at the time and noticed that you already missed first period and the first half of second. "...seriously? How long did I sleep?" 

Let me know if there's anywhere you want to go.

He doesn't usually tell me these things. Well not since I've been Hyemi. You looked at the door, waiting for him to come back. Is there anywhere I want to go? You ask yourself but you can't think of anything. You continue to look at each text and remembered what Yukwon mentioned yesterday. "Did... Did he really tell me he liked me? And I just shut him down?" You felt bad and sighed. 

"Who Yukwon?" You see Jay walk in casually, already dressed up. 

Oh my god, did I say that out loud? Wait, h-how... What? You glared at him. Don't tell me Jay… "How'd you know?"

"Because I was the one th-" he clears his throat leaving you even more suspicious. "Well, uh, it's..." He scratches the back of his head. "It's pretty obvious. That he likes you, I mean." 

Something in you couldn't believe him. At times like this, you can tell when he's lying. If only you were able to know or realize other things. "Wait." You put your index up and look through your text messages with Yukwon. 

Jay bites his lip but stops as he tries to play it out in a cool way. 

You scroll quickly through your texts with him, trying to find the text or conversation you supposedly had with him about him confessing to you. Where is it...

Jay rolls his eyes and looks through his phone as he waits for you. 

"BINGO!" You say as you find it, but instead of scolding him, you read the replies sent from your phone and also the ones from Yukwon. You read quietly, feeling bad after reading each text. I've always seen you as a brother figure to me. You read in your mind. You then look at the date, That was around the time Yukwon started acting different around me... It all makes sense now, why he was so gloomy... Why he called me 'sis'. You felt guilty for making Yukwon feel that way. "I have to apologize to him."

"It's already said and done, he's probably over it by now." Jay says but remembers the way Yukwon is towards you. "On second thought, I take that back. He probably still likes you." He simply chuckles.

"So it was you?"

"Hmm?" Jay says non-chalantly. 

"You took my phone, and did all this?" You showed your phone with the whole conversation and asked in all seriousness. "Can you be any more childish?"

"What difference does it make?" He snaps at you, jealous of the way you're reacting so worriedly because of this. "You're going to be mad at me forever? You're going to apologize to Yukwon for something that happened weeks ago? Don't you think that'll give him some false hope by doing that?"

You stayed silent after hearing what he said. He's right... I might end up giving false hope that he still might have a chance with me. You sigh. "So it was you? The one who looked at my texts and pretended to be me to Yukwon? Misleading him so badly?"

"What if I said no?"

"I'd call you a liar until you admit it." Your glare shot up at him. 

"And if I admitted it?" Jay says, looking back at you with an unbothered expression. 

That irritated you. "I'd scold you and you'd never hear the end of it."

He chuckled again. "I think I'd rather be called a liar." He puts his phone back in his pocket and walks towards his door. 

You get up from his bed and go up to him. "So you're going to stubbornly deny it? Pft."

Right before he turns the knob of his door, he smirks hearing you call him 'stubborn'. "You?" He turns around to face you now. "You're calling me stubborn? That's pretty ironic now, isn't it?."

You feel your fist ball up but let loose and go back to sit back on his bed. "Says the person who'd do anything to help his best friend with the girl he likes." You scoff but not loudly. Just enough for Jay to hear everything. 

He lets out a short laugh then smirks. He's clearly frustrated. He turns around and walks to stand right in front of you. He gives you a daring stare, almost scaring you. "What?"

You stand up right in front of him and copy his nonchalant expression from earlier. "You heard me right. Everything you did for me was make me put up with L.Joe because he likes me. You even went to the point of rejecting one of my best friends?" You feel your hand grab a pillow. "Is that seriously the way to help him with his chances with me? Do you think that it will make me fall in love with him? Everything you're doing... All this just for your BEST FRIEND L.J-" 

Your hand swings the pillow at Jay but his hand swiftly grabs your wrist. The pillow drops making it completely quiet as it hits the floor. You stare at the pillow at the ground as you catch your breath after saying so much. 

"Just so you know, I'm sick and tired of hearing you say that everything I do is for L.Joe."

You look up at him, meeting with his strong gaze. "But it is for L.Joe." You say after your gaze falls to the floor. 

"Are you kidding me?"

"What do you mean 'Are you kidding me'? Calling me 'L.Joe's Girlfriend', 'L.Joe's girl' or whatever. All the time, leaving me with him. All this for my SO CALLED BOYFRI-"

"It was for me, okay?" 

You froze, not sure if you heard Jay correctly. You blinked your eyes several times. "W-wait, I mean. W-what, did -" You continue to hesitate. "W-what do you mean? I mean... What?"

"Nothing. I don't mean anything I say." He says in the most cold tone and leaves his room without another word coming from him. He makes his way down the stairs as he hears the doorbell. He opens the door

"Hel-"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

L.Joe maintains his posture, question marks in his eyes by Jay's sudden greeting. "Uh well-"

Jay just sighs, "Forget it, I'm going out to buy food. Take care of your stupid girlfriend." He walks passed L.Joe, bumping shoulders. As he's outside feeling the cool air, his muscles are tense. This girl is so clueless.

Blank L.Joe hesitates but eventually walks in, closing the door and taking off his shoes. "I wonder what's up with him today." He asked himself as he made his way up the stairs to see you. 

You heard each step but you were still dumbfounded by what Jay said earlier. What did he mean by that? You stood in front of the door, waiting for him to come in. You held the doorknob tightly, ready to ask him. 

Just as the footsteps stopped, you swung the door open. "What do you mean by it was for you and not for L.Joe?" You say with your head facing the ground not being able to face him as you ask him honestly. 

There was a long pause before you heard anything after. 

"What?" 

Your eyes widened. That's not Jay's voice. Sounds more like... You looked up, only to meet eyes with L.Joe. "When did you get here? Wh-Where's Jay?" 

He scratched the back of his neck. "He just left, he said he was going out to buy food. And what'd you say earlier? I'm not sure if I heard right."

No one is sure if they heard right... Not even me. You mentally slap yourself and sigh. "Oh, uh, that was nothing. So why are you here?"

He raises an eyebrow at you. "Why aren't you at school?" 

"I kind of overslept."

L.Joe just laughed. "Well it's okay, I don't think we're missing anything important today." He sat on the bed on the complete other side of it. "I'm guessing you know why Jay stormed off?"

Do I? "I'm not exactly sure to be honest." Okay, maybe I lied. You look down at your feet with an unsure feeling stuck in your mind. A thought struck you. Maybe I should ask him...  "Um, L.Joe," you said, looking up at him, him too now looking back at you. "Do you know why Jay hates Yukwon so much? And also, why do you hate him?"

His eyes slightly widened, not expecting to hear that question, especially coming from you. "So I'm guessing you mentioned Yukwon to him or something?"

You awkwardly nod, "I might have."

"I guess I'm not really surprised he acted that way then. They don't have a good history together. I’m guessing you already know that."

You remembered the story Minhyuk had told you before. About Yukwon somewhat taking the girl Jay likes. "Is the story about Yukwon taking Jay's 'girl' even true?" You ask as you remember how Yukwon would always deny it. 

He looks at the ground. "Jay's the one that told me. He's not the type to lie about those kind of things but apparently that girl just disappeared, then he heard that Yukwon was going out with her. I tried to convince him that it might've been just a bunch of rumors but he was proved otherwise since, to him, everything fell into place so well. Pretty much the timing of everything. It just fit like a jigsaw puzzle."

"Do you remember the girl's name?" You ask, biting your lip, scared of hearing another girl's name. Your heart was beating so fast.

He looks up at you but then away as he sees you looking straight at him with an expression he couldn't really understand. "If I remember right, her name was ______."

Your eyes blink, your heart stop for a split second. D-Did he just...

"I never got to meet her but by the way he described her to me, she sounded like an amazing girl. Just perfect for Jay." He added, nodding with a genuine smile on his face. "It was nice seeing him like that, not him bragging about her, but seeing him happy like that." He looked to the ground, still smiling, as he started to feel jealous of how Jay was when he was with her.

You felt something in your chest. Was that your heart sinking...? Aching? There's just no way that he's talking about me. How can I have never met L.Joe if he's one of Jay's best friends? Or wait, how can I be Yukwon's girl if I only met him when I transferred here? Then again, I think I remember him from our open house…

"Hyemi?"

You snapped out of your thoughts and saw L.Joe just staring at you. "Oh my bad." 

Both of you hear the sound of the front door opening. 

"That was fast." L.Joe gets up and walks towards the door but stops in front of it to turn to you. "You coming? It's Jay."

You're not sure whether you should go or not since he might still be agitated from earlier. "I'll meet you there."

He nods and goes downstairs. 

L.Joe joins Jay who's in the kitchen, taking the food he bought out of the bags he carried. 

"So I heard something happened earlier upstairs. What was that about?" He asked as he helped him set up the table. 

"Just her being so clueless." He said completely straight forward. 

"Clueless about what?"

"Clueless about me doing things for her." 

L.Joe raises an eyebrow at him. "What things?"

That caught Jay off guard, he just realized what he just told L.Joe. "Oh, I mean like, taking care of her and stuff." He lies so fluently.

"Ah," L.Joe just nods, not completely believing that those are the things he was talking about. That’s not what Hyemi mentioned. Why is he lying?

"I guess you can call her now, the table is set." 

L.Joe nods but another thing in his mind is bothering him. "Do you know, by any chance, what's L and Hyemi's relation together?"

Jay's eyes darted up at him. "Do they even have a relation?" He scoffs, leaning against the kitchen counter. "From what I know, she only met him when she transferred back here."

"Oh... Wait." L.Joe froze a bit. "What do you mean by 'transferred back'?"

Oh , did I really say that? "Well I mean, transferred to our school. How else could she have met L? Then again, L did just transfer here for senior year." Jay starts realizing a few things. Why'd he even mention L anyway? "Why the sudden question about L?" 

"Just wondering. I saw them both at the lake the other day during school hours. It's not like Hyemi to just skip class like that, don't you think? Especially the fact that she was with L. It's kind of odd seeing them together." 

So that's where she was when she skipped. But at the lake? With L? Why? "How'd you know they were both there?" Jay asks immediately. 

"Uh," L.Joe caught off guard by Jay's quick response. "I sort of followed her… secretly." Jay raised an eyebrow at him. "NOT IN LIKE A STALKER WAY." He defends himself leaving Jay to simply chuckle. "I was just curious to where she was going when class was about to start."

"That's still pretty creepy dude." 

"Okay I know, but that's not the point. Not knowing what happened at the lake is bothering me. Wouldn't it bother you if it was-" he awkwardly stops before he finishes his sentence. 

It is bothering me. You have no idea. The fact that it bothers you bothers me too though. "Yeah, it would." He replies without him needing to finish his sentence. Jay sighed, wondering if L.Joe actually had a chance with ______. Guilt weighed on his chest as even if L.Joe did, he wouldn't ever approve of it. "L.Joe." 

He looked up at Jay cluelessly. "What's up?" He simply replied, interrupting his thoughts of Hyemi. 

"Do you honestly think you have a chance with Hyemi?" Jay said without looking at L.Joe straight. Instead, his gaze looked out the window, waiting for his answer. 

L.Joe stayed quiet, probably not wanting to admit that his chance with Hyemi are slimming. "Yeah." I hope. He thinks to himself.

Jay didn't want to add anything else.  "I'll go call Hyemi to tell her the food is ready." He walks up the stairs as he took a quick glance of L.Joe and sighs.


As they had that conversation, something else seemed to be going on just on the next floor where you were. 

You squeezed your phone tight as you reread the text messages your mom would always send you. Reminding you about not coming home too late, about the leftover breakfast that she'd leave inside the fridge for you when you woke up. At the time you may have found them slightly annoying but now you just couldn't help but miss receiving them. You feel guilty for taking her for granted sometimes. You blamed yourself for everything that has happened. 

"None of this was worth it." You whispered to yourself. "Now I have no one... No one to run to anymore."

You hate days like today. Those random days where you suddenly remember things that you wanted to try to avoid thinking about. You stayed in bed as you laid sideways with your body towards the wall. You were crying to the point where you couldn't even breathe properly. You continued to scroll through your messages exchanged with your mom. You stopped trying to wipe away your tears since it was useless at this point. 


Jay walked up the last few steps welcomed by faint cries. Something alerts in his mind but continues to walk quietly towards the guest room. He grabs the door knob and presses his ear against the door carefully. He hears sniffling and immediately pulls back from the knob, double thinking on whether now is a good time or not. 

He decided to take his chances and opened the door. He saw you on the bed, facing the other way. He felt uncomfortable knowing that something was up. He walked towards the bed and sat there. 

"The food is downstairs if you're hungry." He said as he took a peek to see if you'd react but received no reaction from you. "Do you...” he scratches the back of his neck, “want to talk about it?" He then asked but still nothing. His eyes narrowed back to you then sighed as his eyes met the floor again. Just as he's getting up from the bed, "Well, whenever you're feeling bett-"

"Wait," You grab his sleeve, stopping him from walking out. You were sitting up now, still not able to face him. "Can you just stay?" You sniffle as you wipe away the rest of your tears with your free arm. "Just for a bit?" 

Jay, caught off guard, just froze. He turns his head at you who is still facing the wall. He sits back down and let's your hand hold onto his. Your grip tightens as a tear escapes your eye. You bite your lip to stop yourself from crying. You sniffle unintentionally which caught Jay's attention. 

He turns his head, his teeth clench. The sound of your crying, he couldn't take it anymore. This girl... She lost so much... I can't blame her for being this way. But seeing her like this... Hearing her cry... I hate it.

You turn to look at Jay, seeing an expression on his face that didn't look so great. You try to get a hold of yourself. "You can go down to eat, I'm sorry for holding you back." You apologize.

His eyes look up at you. "Holding me back? Are you kidding?" 

You blink twice then look down towards the other corner of the bed. "I'm sorr-"

"Can you stop apologizing?!" Jay's voice got slightly louder. "None of this was your fault." 

"Not my fault? DO YOU KNOW WHY MY FAMILY WAS IN THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE?" You couldn't keep it to yourself anymore. Something within you just couldn't hold you back. The tears started flowing again, much faster now. You still couldn't look at Jay. "My parents... All of this, IT WAS MY FAULT." His hand that you held, you let go of it. You brushed your bangs back. 

"Hyemi, you need to calm do-"

"I DIDN'T ASK THEM TO DO IT FOR ME. They just..." You held tightly onto your sleeves, used them as napkins for your tears. "They did it... for my sake and I had no clue until I overheard them arguing about it... I thought everything started falling apart from there, little did I know that it started since the beginning... And I had no clue." Your breathing became unstable. "I was just- just a burden to them. If it wasn't for me, my parents-" your hand covers your face "Mom.. Dad... They would've still been here... And I wouldn't have to be alone." Your energy started draining out. "And now? I'm left with no mom, or dad... I don't know how to live on my own... My parents aren't here to guide me through life... They're... Gone." Your head dropped. You saw your tears fall on to the bed sheet and so did Jay. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to any of them. I didn't have the chance to like I wish I had..."

Jay listened to you, every word that came out of your mouth. Even through the almost incomprehensible sentences. He had no words to say, he was completely speechless. "Hyemi..." Was the only thing that came out. You looked so hopeless in that state and Jay didn't know how to react. 

"I miss them so much..." You started getting a hold of yourself. Letting that all out started to make you feel better. You took a deep breath and wiped the last tears from your eyes. Just as you're about to look up at Jay, "I'm sorry you had to endure all of thi-"

You suddenly felt a warm feeling as you felt arms wrap around you. "Jay, I-"

"Just shut up." He clears his throat. " I mean, stop." He mentally facepalms. "I'm tired of hearing you apologize over and over again as if everything is your fault." He pulls away from the hug, his hands on your shoulders. "Trust me," he looks at you straight in the eyes, making sure you looked back, "it isn't. None of this, is your fault."

Your mouth started trembling again. "B-but-"

He pulls you back into his embrace, his arms secured around you. "Enough of that. I'm tired of seeing you cry." Jay sighed, "You weren’t a burden to your parents like you say you were. I’m sure they were more than happy to have you as their daughter. I know no one can compare to how much your parents meant to you, or show you the love they showed you... but just keep in mind that you're not alone." His hand started your hair, making you feel safe in his arms. "You still have all of your friends. You even have Ricky and L.Joe." 

His words calmed you down, stopping you from crying. The sound of his voice just made you feel so comfortable in the state you were in. He mentioned how your friends are there for you. There was one more person to be mentioned but... You looked up at him, your eyes were now dry. 

He sighs; this girl wants me to say it, doesn't she? He pulls her back into a hug. "And lastly," a smile hints on the corner of his lips. "You have me."