Sehun

It’s been three days. Nothing felt the same anymore. Every second I grow scared that Haerin would just shut herself down from me, which I would be to blame for. She’s been desolated, she doesn’t talk unless the question was answerable by yes or no. It’s killing me to see her like this. Whenever I sit down for dinner to join the rest of them, she excuses herself, cleans up her plate and then walks back to the room. I check on her every night before going to sleep and I just find her silently crying on the bed, curled up in a ball. Sometimes, I’d find her just sitting up and looking down on her fingers. She never acknowledge my presence anymore, it’s as if I don’t even exist anymore…which hurts. But I’m the only one to blame. It hurts that whenever I try to kiss her good night, she steps away from me and bids me a simple ‘night’ before plopping down on bed. It hurts whenever I try to normally converse with her she either shrugs, shakes her head or nod. It’s all new to me.

Meanwhile, Haerin talks normally to Jongin and Suho hyung. They can talk pretty well and the conversation lasts for more than five minutes, which had become frustrating to me. I can’t even ask her if she wanted to eat without getting a weird look from her. But Jongin just talks to her casually like nothing is wrong. I guess it’s safe to say that the two of them had gotten closer based on how much Jongin teases her without minding if it was offending and by how much Haerin curses him hard. It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore. This isn’t Haerin. This isn’t the girl I fell for. I changed her into this, sadly.

“Aw, !” Jongin exclaimed throwing the set of cards on the table, frustrated and annoyed, “One more round!” He exclaimed, actually no, he begged.

“You’ve lost for about ten times already. Isn’t that enough to prove that you at poker?” Haerin spat at him as she arched a brow. The two of them had been playing poker for hours now and yes they’ve played ten rounds already. Jongin won’t quit because he hasn’t won one round yet. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here next to Haerin like I’m completely invisible.

“No. I can’t accept this. Kim Jongin always wins,”

“Well tell Kim Jongin that he lost and he .” Haerin rolled her eyes and placed the cards down the table. I scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She almost jumped in shock as she gave me a look.

“That’s enough, Jongin. Haerin doesn’t want to play anymore,” I said.

Haerin took my hand and removed it from her waist as she pulled away from me, “I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed,” She muttered and then stood up.

“You’re sleeping already? What about dinner?” Kyungsoo hyung asked as he placed the third bowl of stew on the table. He’s been cooking a lot because he is aware of Hyeri’s pregnancy. In fact, Kyungsoo hyung is cooking all sorts of food for her, “You have to eat Haerin,” He spoke seriously, eyeing at her.

Hyeri suddenly leaped out of the room and smiled big at the amount of food on the table, she clapped her hands happily as she jumped up and down, “Omo! Oppa, you cooked so much! I’m so hungry! This is definitely going to satisfy my cravings!”

“I think I’ll skip dinner,” Haerin coldly said and walked back to the room, gently closing the door. Hyeri made a face and just rolled her eyes. She then faced the amount of food on the table and sat down to enjoy her meal. I sighed and decided to join Haerin. I have to talk to her about her health. This isn’t good for her.

Knocking on the door, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open gently. I then entered the room and saw Haerin fidgeting on her phone as the light of the screen cascaded on her face. I slowly made my way to her and sat across her. Still, she didn’t seem to recognize my presence.

“Haerin, babe.” I cooed but she just ignored me. Sighing, I just looked at her patiently but she won’t budge anytime soon, “Do you want me to get you something to eat? Chinese take out? Sushi? Or do you want western food? I’ll get-”

“I’m not hungry.” She cut me off, coldly.

“You have to eat something. Skipping meals aren’t good.” I replied, my voice filled with worry and concern but she just kept fidgeting on her phone like I still wasn’t there, “You skipped lunch and breakfast. You aren’t exactly eating anything proper for the past few days. Babe you have to eat a proper meal.”

“Get out.” She sternly said.

“What?”

“I want to sleep. Get out.” I sighed. I didn’t follow her though. I just sat there and looked at her. Minutes later, she noticed that I still wasn’t moving from my spot and she looked at me, her eyes darting me a dirty look. She kept looking at me but I won’t waver, “This has to stop Haerin. I’m worried about your health. You aren’t exactly taking care of yourself.”

She shook her head as she rolled her eyes. Haerin stood up and inserted her phone in her back pocket, “What are you doing?” I asked curiously as she grabbed her jacket and slipped her foot inside her shoes.

“You don’t want to get out, then I will.” She bit back and then walked out the room, slamming the door shut.

Never did it cross my mind that we’d become like this.

Haerin

I was walking alone again in the night. This is becoming some sort of routine. Every night, I’d always find myself escaping that godforsaken dorm at midnight and walk alone. This time, it’s still a bit early. People were still outside, filling the streets. There were happy couples walking past me, which was unavoidable. My heart tightened when I sighted them, holding each other’s hand, walking with linked arms, talking to each other like they got that secret conversation that no one would ever know. I idly wonder if their boyfriends were loyal, if they didn’t have anyone else in the sidelines. I wondered if their girlfriends have that one best friend they trust so much, and looked upon them like their own sister. And then I wonder…right at this moment, how many of my kind were experiencing the same pain as I am?

I chose to bend but every second I spent looking at him, seeing him and noticing his presence, it’s as if someone’s holding me by my neck, choking me. I feel like I’m being suffocated. I feel like I’m being emotionally killed. Every time I’m reminded to quit, I take myself back to that time when Sehun first talked to me. He was so awkward. The campus kingka, Oh Sehun, was awkward around me. I knew he was famous and when we got paired up, I knew why. He was really handsome and he was intimidating. But behind that popularity was a simple guy, someone who just normally says funny things and wasn’t exactly that intimidating. I take myself back to that time we were doing our first experiment and he was freaking out about frog dissection and he was trying to still look cool and then he said something funny that made me snort and laugh. I remember blushing so madly in embarrassment but he just laughed at me. I take myself back to the time when he walked up to me in Starbucks one time and insisted to drive us home but I rejected his offer, seeing that Seul Mi was inviting him to another party. He stopped me before I could walk out on him and told me that he thought I was avoiding him—which was true—and that it was bothering him. I never thought the campus kingka was actually bothered that I was rejecting his offers. Well, he’s famous. Famous people don’t