Sehun

Haerin sat on the dining area, reading a magazine while the guys and I watched the football game on TV. We were all focused on watching it and the guys kept yelling for our country to score a goal. Meanwhile, I am missing Jongin. He would be the one most likely to cuss as much as he could out of frustration whenever we watch a game but now, Tao was taking over that spot. I miss the guy, there’s no doubt on that. He’s my best friend after all.

On the other hand, Hyeri wasn’t showing up too. Did I upset her that I left after that night? Is she as regretful as I am? I don’t know. To be honest, I’m half thankful that she wasn’t contacting me about it but half worried that whatever we did might have caused her some trouble. But then again, Hyeri is a strong girl. I’m pretty sure I’m just one of those guys she throws out the door after . She isn’t one to weep or run after someone she had done the deed with. It’s not her character to do so.

So far, three weeks without drama is really making me feel better. Though the guys were still a bit tensed around me and awkward too, most of the time. I think Haerin noticed that more than once since she asked me if there was anything wrong. I just brushed it off. The guys were still disappointed at me for sleeping with Hyeri and even if I explained to them, I knew they wouldn’t understand anyway. So I stopped trying. It was a good thing Suho hyung and Kris hyung were open-minded enough to not judge my every move. They still talk to me like how they usually do but the rest…it’s different. Also, taking my mind off of the matter was the fact that Haerin and I are okay. We’re good now. Still sweet as we were, still in love as we were.

I surprised her with a simple candle light dinner at the rooftop and got a few help from some people to set it up. It wasn’t much but I knew she’d like it the simple way. I always did everything to please her and I would never get tired of that. I want my girl happy, always.

Dragging me back to reality was Tao massively cursing when we missed a goal. Everyone else were but I just watched all of them like I was judging them so hard for even making too much noise. Suddenly, Haerin turned to us.

“Uh, guys, can you keep it low for a moment?” She asked, holding her phone on her hand. Tao took the remote but Suho hyung immediately stole it from him as he kept the volume down, “Thank you,” She smiled at us.

“Hey mom,” Haerin answered. I smiled at her figure though she didn’t see. I always liked it when she talks to her parents because Haerin wasn’t the kind to be open to them. In fact, I do think she’s more open to me than she is with her own mom and dad. I’ve always wished that she’d be able to build a healthy relationship with them because I know she’s always having a hard time whenever she remembers that night where everything broke and her parents divorced. She always says she had seen that coming but even though she had, I knew she still endured so much pain.

Haerin’s mother was very bright and cheerful, unlike Haerin’s father who always sounded serious according to Haerin’s stories. They were both different in terms of perspective and choices. They see things in a different light and therefor they cannot stay in love for so long. On the other hand, both of them are happy now though they aren’t together. They have different families and Haerin’s mom is now staying in France and her dad stays in New York. We were meaning to go visit her mom this summer to tell her the news about our wedding, personally. I told Haerin it would be best to say it in front of her to show more sincerity than tell the news over the phone.

She agreed about the idea but told me that if we’re doing it like that with her mom then we should do it the same way with her dad. I don’t mind, honestly. I want to show them that I am sincere about marrying their only daughter. And then guilt rushed through me as I remember not much of that night when I was with Hyeri. No. I am sincere about Haerin. I know that.

“Mom!” Haerin exclaimed, whining. She looked at us sheepishly and then excused herself as she left the dorm. I heard her talking outside the door.

“Are you two still going as planned?” Suho hyung asked but his eyes were focused on the game.

“Yeah. We’ll go to France to visit her mom for a few days and then fly to New York to visit her dad,” I answered, grabbing some chips from the bowl that Tao was hugging.

“Do you ever plan on telling her the truth?” Kris hyung asked as I looked at him. He looked back at me, intently, “You can’t hide that forever. Sooner or later the truth is going to come out and when it does, it better come from you,” He added.

I sighed and rubbed my temples, “I know hyung. Just…I need some time. I can’t just blurt it out in the open. She’ll leave me and I don’t want that.”

“I really wish I could say something to guarantee you that she’ll stay but I just can’t, Sehun. What you did is too far from forgiveness. I mean she might forgive you but if she does, she may no longer be in your arms,” Suho hyung told as he patted my shoulder. I slouched back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling.

So there’s really no way I could make her stay when she finds out the truth, huh? Face it, Sehun. If you tell her honestly about what happened, you’re going to lose her. If you keep the truth to yourself, you’re just going to make it harder for yourself and your hyungs would never approve of you lying.

Oh Sehun why are you a ing ?

I was thinking of ways to tell her but every way I thought of lead to the same ending—a break-up. It’s frustrating to even think about. I quickly wish I could turn back time and undo it. I want to go back to that day and change everything. I wish I could’ve just gotten off campus and went home for dinner. I wish I could’ve just stayed with her that night and slept beside her. Just her in my arms. But no. I can never turn back time. I can never undo what I did. It’s impossible.

Once I broke away from my thoughts, the door swung open and Haerin went back inside but this time she was with…Hyeri and Jongin. What?! At first I couldn’t believe what I was seeing but then it was true. Hyeri is there. Jongin is there. They were both there and their looks told me that they both knew something that wasn’t revealed yet. No.

I shot up from my seat and looked at them, “What are you doing here?”

“Shut the up Sehun,” Jongin bit back harshly at me as he gave me a glare. Tao, Luhan, Xiumin and Kris hyung got up and blocked him from me while the rest stood by my side while Suho hyung stayed in the middle. They were breaking as way too far apart knowing that one more foul word and we’re back to breaking faces again.

“Hyeri has something to say and I think you should listen to her carefully,” He added looking at me as my brows furrowed. I looked at Hyeri, terrified that she might blurt out the truth now. No. Please don’t. Not now. Her eyes welled up with tears and my heart was racing as if it wanted to come out of my chest. No. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. I gulped.

“What’s going on?” Haerin asked as we all looked at her. No baby. I don’t want you to hear this. She looked confused and I wish I could’ve said a word but nothing came out of my mouth. Nothing.

“What are you going to say to Sehun? What’s wrong?” Haerin pressed questions and then eyed at me. I completely froze, dumbfounded, “Guys,” She called out for them but none were saying a word. She frowned.

“Say it Hyeri,” Jongin calmly told as Hyeri took a deep breath. She pulled out something from her bag, covered with transparent plastic. The small rectangular object was tossed on the center table. Not too long, I realized what it was—a pregnancy test. It had two lines on it.

“I’m pregnant,”

“Congratulations Sehun, you’re the father,” . No. . No. No. No.

I think all the blood in me drained. I feel so lightheaded. This has got to be a ing joke. This can’t be real. No. “What…” Haerin’s voice faded as I immediately looked up at her.

My eyes bore onto hers and I almost wish she wasn’t there to hear all of this. She doesn’t deserve this in her life. She doesn’t need this. I wanted to run up and hug her but I couldn’t move. All I can manage to do was look at her, as I still feel astounded about the news. This is unbelievable. No. This can’t be real. This is not happening.

“You guys, this is one sick joke. I suggest you stop,” She added. I wish it was a joke too, babe. I really wish it was. I felt my chest tightened and my stomach churn as I looked at her. She looked like she was confused and shocked. She looked like a kid who wanted to get out of the place immediately, “I’m serious. Stop kidding around now. This isn’t ing funny,” She swore.

“It’s not a joke, Haerin,” Jongin said and I saw her shook her head in disagreement, as he sighed, “Why don’t you ask Sehun then?” He added.

Her eyes darted at my direction as I stare at her hurt brown orbs for a moment. She’s breaking inside, I know it. She’s about to fall apart and I can’t let that happen. Tears pooled in her eyes as she bit her lower lip, “S-sehun is it tru-”

I quickly ran to her and hugged her. I hugged her as tight as I could, “Haerin. Baby,” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I repeatedly said as I kept hugging her tight but she wasn’t hugging back. No. Hug me back. Hug me like you used to. Hug me like you love me. You still love me, right? I hugged her like my life depended on her. It does.

I felt her grip on both sides of my waist, her nails digging onto the cloth and piercing on my skin as she tried to push me away but I