LOL just a random photo. not relavent to the chapter --

‘I was born on the 8^th Of June, two days after Dongwoon you know. I was an IVF baby. Do you know what that means? I was made in a tube. My Umma, for some reason, she just … couldn’t get pregnant and when I was born. I was premature, so my parents thought there was something wrong with me. Nothing was. It was just out of fear, that after spending thousands of dollars for a perfect child, that it wasn’t perfect. I knew from a young age that my dad wanted a boy, even my mum. It was so obvious. Boys would take over our estate and business. But after mum had me, she couldn’t have children anymore. She became weak. I tried to be the perfect child for them. I was first in everything. If I had gone to school, I would have graduated at 15 from high school. If I went to university, I would have graduated at 18. I’m fluent in 8 different languages. But they never acknowledged me. Even in sport I was the best at soccer, basketball, things that boys would play and still, nothing.

I always stayed at home and studied or played sport. I never made friends. It hurt. I lost my childhood trying to be perfect. I never asked for anything, I never wanted anything other than them looking at me like I was something precious to them. I remember this one time, on my 10^th birthday; I had received my first ever birthday present. I finished ‘high school’ from home. My parents were never home … never but I was happy that they remembered me. They had got me something. It was lying on my bed in a small black box. What lay inside, was magical. It was a beautiful blue stone. It was a pale blue hue, and on the inside, rainbow. And when you shone it against the light, a rainbow colour would refract from the stone and onto the floor. It was absolutely beautiful. I looked up its name and it was called a ‘Niji’ rock, the Japanese word for rainbow. Anyways, I had brought it absolutely everywhere. Around the house and whenever my dad took me on his trips. Mum stayed in hospital since having me. My dad thought I was too attached to the rock and of course I was. It was the only thing my parents gave to me after all these years of existence. He thought I was mental because I grew fond of the rock and brought it everywhere. Do you know what he did? On the plane to England, he grabbed the rock and threw it out. He threw it out … of a moving plane.’

I tried to supress the pain rising in my throat and the salty tears from falling from my eyes. My lips began quivering and my body too. I felt an arm around shoulders and it was comforting. The heat from Yoseob’s body was consoling. I tilted my head so that it was lying on his shoulder. I could felt his head on top of mine. We were leaning on each other.

----------------------------------------------------------

btw, the 'niji rock' is made up! XP yeah. pretty boring! SORRY!

COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE! <3 ^^