“Is he really going to do that?” I couldn’t get it.

“He said he is….actually Kitagawa-san said so…” sighed Nakamaru-san.

“But why?” I was just told about Akanishi-san quitting KAT-TUN and heading for USA.

“He said he has to. In order to do what he loves…” Nakamaru-san was moved.

“What?! But… is he going to do something different from here or what?”

“Don’t think so. The thing is that Japan is too small for him…”

When he saw my weird expression, he continued: “We should support him after all… he’s chasing his dream and we should understand.”

“Yeah… we should….it doesn’t mean we will…” I mumbled. I wasn’t pleased with this news. I wasn’t regular member of KAT-TUN but as their fan I had to admit I really didn’t like that idea of KAT-TUN without Akanishi Jin. He was the leader after all. And then I was afraid I was supposed to replace him. It was completely impossible of course. So I was sitting with Nakamaru-san in cafeteria and waited for another scene of my new dorama.

My new project called Watashi wa sannin dea was a story about three friends – two boys and girl. They are the best friends ever but they should be separated because that girl – my character – is going to study in England. As she returns she realises that one of her friends is dead. He died in a car accident. She wants to give up everything but her second friend persuades her that they have to live along. But everything is harder somehow. She starts to see and communicate with her dead friend and he tries to give her some advice in life. Then she meets her old love but she’s just disappointed again and then she realises that the only certainty in her life is her left friend. And because there should be some happy end they fall for each other.

The “ghost friend” was played by Nakamaru-san. It was his first role after a long time so he said he has to enjoy it and give this story his best. “Old love” of my character has face of Oguri Shun again and “my only certainty” was Ikuta Toma. It was also the first time I’ve met Horikita Maki-san. She played my cousin and we became very good friends.

The sad part about this dorama was that it should be done after my finishing of school-leaving exam, so we were working on the beginning in March and we knew that the end will be finished in June.

“So what are we going to do about it?” I asked when the silence between us started to be awkward.

“Wish him luck…I guess…” Nakamaru-san whispered.

“Oh my…” I sighed heavily.

“But he said he want to arrange his last big concert. With you of course,” his face became suddenly brighter.

Although is would be my first big concert I wasn’t as shocked as I probably should be. Big concert like that could be expected. I think it’s Jin’s farewell and it could be my goodbye as well. In the beginning of April I decided to leave this industry for a while. I needed to fully concentrate on my studies.

15^th of March. One of the KAT-TUN’s biggest concert ever and also some kind of goodbye from Akanishi. I decided to enjoy the atmosphere because some days ago I also announced quitting from the public for some time. Anyway the mood in the backstage wasn’t like it was expected. Everyone was silent. Knowing it’s probably the last time they’re standing with Akanishi-san on the same stage was enough to ruin it.

We were performing songs from the album Queen of Pirates and our entry was very effective. We arrived on the big ship, dressed as pirates, me as their queen. I wasn’t looking back on the others, I wanted to enjoy it. But I had a serious stage fright and I had to deal with it alone. Just on the stage they turned into energetic singers and dancers. In the backstage they were like zombies. I know it sounds egoistic, but I didn’t imagine it like that. I hope they would be more professional.

I and Ikuta-san were in the atelier for shooting some photos for our dorama.

“Mady-san, you have a visit.” one of the assistant called me.

I looked curiously to the door. Akanishi-san was standing there with grin on his face. I went towards him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, pretty surprised.

“I wanted to say hello and goodbye.” He smiled at me.

I felt how tears were coming in my eyes, so I just simply nodded.

“Well, Mady-chan…gambare. I know you’re very good. Just don’t be so afraid of everything.” He hugged me.

“Good luck in the US. And don’t forget about your home, ok?” I whispered. I said it for the KAT-TUN’s sake.

“Got it. Ittekimasu…” he kissed me on the cheek and walked away. Then he turned to me: “By the way, you were really stunning at that concert.” He just added and disappeared.

“Itterasshai…” I mumbled but I was sure he already couldn’t hear me.

“You’ve got 75%...” Ikuta-san passed me a corrected test for university. It was available for the applicants on university website, in the case they want to try it at home.

“75%?! It’s still so low score!!” I moaned as I threw the script on the table beside me.

“Low? I think it’s pretty high, you know. What are you applying for, anyway?” Toma handed for the script and started to read it.

“Historical sciences….” I mumbled. “Although I wanted to apply for psychology.”

He raises his head. “And why you didn’t?”

“It’s hard…and there’s some special test in addition.”

“You could do it.” He was thinking.

“Don’t think so.” I sighed.

“Which university?”

“Czech division of Meiji University,” I grinned at him.

“Usou!!” he jumped in his seat. “So we’re almost classmates.” He grinned at me.

In the second half of April I left the industry for a while. A few days later I realised how big mistake it was. I was learning from morning to evening and I felt how the pressure around me is going bigger and bigger. I was really stupid back then, because I refused to do anything for TV. As a result I didn’t have a chance to relax. Maybe it sounds weird but this kind of work, singing or acting, was a real relaxation for me. I could forget about problems with school work completely. But now I was desperate. And I didn’t mention how much I started to miss my colleagues and our meetings in cafeteria. I wished I could hear that Matsujun’s “I heard the news!” or Toma-kun’s “Oi, Gaijin Tarento!” again.

In my most desperate moments I tried to write a new song. I wasn’t sure for who it may be, because I couldn’t imagine myself singing it. It was about new world that no one knows but people shouldn’t be afraid to enter it. Dare to go to the world you’ve never seen. Mada Minu Sekai E.

In June exams were over and even though I was waiting for my results from school leaving exam, I knew that I was accepted to the university. I felt relieved. And I could return to shooting and singing. It looks that the others are also happy to see me. But maybe I was just dreaming about it. KAT-TUN was completely different group than two months ago. Jin was preparing his first solo on US and Kame started to behave more strangely than ever. We made several new songs but something was definitely different. I wasn’t sure if it would be okay to show them that new song I wrote some time ago.

I was sitting in the lobby of jimmusho and drinking some coffee. I was looking to the lyrics I wrote and I was determined to give this song to someone today.

“Yo, Mady-san,” Meisa Kuroki sat next to me. She was shooting Saigou no Yakusoku with Arashi right now so we’ve been meeting very often. We’ve started to talk and we became pretty good friends. Kuroki-san was always the one who’s talking and I felt comfortable with her.

“Nani kore?” she glanced at the lyrics in my hand.

“Lyrics I wrote…” I handed her the paper.

“Your new song? That’s great. I’m looking forward to it.” She smiled at me.

“No, no, it’s not like that. Actually I want to give it to someone.” I sighed.

“KAT-TUN?” she tried to guess.

I sighed a little. “The truth is…I want to slowly quit KAT-TUN. It’s good time for that. Fans aren’t used to me, so I still can be seen as a guest of theirs.”

“And…do you have a plan what to do next?” she was looking at me with worries. “What about duet with me? I have a song you may like.” She was suddenly excited.

“Well…maybe…Thank you Kurokitti.” I smiled at her.

“Oh, that nickname…” she grinned at me. “Ninomiya Kazunari is calling me the same way…that little brat.”

Suddenly some crazy idea came to my mind. “Nino…” I mumbled.

She turned to me.

“Meisa-chan…could you take me to him, please? I think I have an idea.” I jumped from my seat.

“Congratulations for the university, Mady-san.” Sakurai-san shook my hand.

“Thank you, but actually…I have something for you…” I sat down. Arashi gathered around me in one of the dressing room.

“What is it and why does it have to be in my dress room?” Nino started to change his shirt.

I looked away for a while and slowly started.

“I wrote a song…”

“Banzai, banzai…” Nino was annoyed.

“Shut up…” Matsujun smacked back of Nino’s head.

I tried to ignore them: “…and I thought you could look at it…” I went towards Nino. “I know you won’t like it but I had to try. Onegaishimasu, Ninomiya-san!” I bowed and handed him the lyrics and USB with melody recorded in it.

Nino was looking at me with disbelief. “Well…if you say so…” he mumbled. “Mada Minu Sekai E….” he read the title aloud.

So after a long long time another chapter is out. It's the quick turn of events so it should be easy to read. Enjoy =)