They call me “gaijin tarento” but I don’t know what kind of talent I’m supposed to have. I’ve never been special in anything. Then I moved and everything has changed. Was it for good? Well that’s a question I ask myself every day. Everything seemed so ridiculous and impossible just one year ago. What shall I tell you in the beginning?

I was born in Czech Republic. It’s a small country in middle Europe. I was normal girl without any special talent. I didn’t sing nor play some instrument. I was shy and hated to be a centre of attention. Just the feeling of so many eyes looking at me made me feel sick.

I had a few friends. Takashi Tanaka was one of them. He moved to Czech Republic because of his father’s work. Thanks to Takashi I became interested in Japanese culture. It all started with anime. Then there were doramas and Japanese pop. I was captured by these people and their work. It was so magical to me. Seemed like a totally different world I always wanted to live in.

When I was going to start my last year of high school Takashi called me.

 “We’re heading back to Japan.”

I was very disappointed that I’m probably going to loose my friend. But that wasn’t all.

“Father said you’re going with us.”

“Stop joking Takashi! I’m not in the mood for this.”

“But really! Father has decided that you’re going to live in Japan.”

I was quiet for a while and then I started to yell at him:

“What do you mean your father decided that I’m going to Japan? This is the worst and the cruelest joke I’ve ever heard! You’re leaving! That’s the main point here!”

“Hey, listen up,” he tried to calm me down. “Remember the last week when my father was out for dinner with your parents?”

“Yeah, and what? He probably wanted to say goodbye.”

“Sort of. But he also wanted to discuss your future life. Your parents know how you love Japan and they know that with your talent for foreign languages there won’t be any problem with Japanese. And…”

“Are you insane?” I tried to interrupt him but he continued.

“…and in Tokyo there are high schools for foreign students and the universities as well. And, what’s more, there’s a class just for Czech students…got it?”

I started to worry. I know my parents would do anything for me. And they know I wouldn’t do anything like this on my own because I lack self-confidence. They wanted to make my dreams come true. But this is just crazy!

“Hey, are you still there?” whispered Takashi.

“What I’m going to do there?”

“Well, my father wants to be you manager.”

“Manager?! For what?!”

“Acting…in the beginning. Maybe you will discover some hidden talents in you.” Takashi was very entertained with this whole situation.

“OK…I’m going to give it a shot!” I decided just before I could change my mind.

“Great! So, we’re heading to the airport in the night. Today.”

“WHAT?”

I was thrown to the twister of events I couldn’t control. In a few hours I had to say goodbye for unspecified time to my parents and left my home. I had to overcome my fear of flying and arrived with Tanaka’s family to the Narita airport in Tokyo. We came to their mansion I tried to get some sleep and then we left for the studio.

I wasn’t used to these decisions without myself. But to be true I wouldn’t be able to make them on my own as I said before. I was too scared from the world around me and I’m not exaggerating at this point. I was really shy and everything was like big obstacle for me. I was usually successful but I was dead from the stress and worries I made. I always complicate my life with horrible visions of the future. What if I couldn’t make it? What will happen next?

And right now? I’m in Japan. Right next to me is sitting my manager Yuki Tanaka. Just an hour ago he was just my friend’s father. Now he’s my Japanese father and manager and guide. I don’t have any clue what will happen in next hours. He said we’re going to meet Daisuke Shinto. He’s a director and he needs a girl like me to his new dorama called Kokoro no Rocku. I was so shocked that I wasn’t able to make any complaint. I just nodded.

We arrived to the studio. Daisuke-san was expecting us in his office. He gave us a sweet smile and looked at me. He tried to talk to me in English and that was a first time I realized that I’m going to be “lost in translation”. Japanese people can speak English but they don’t want to. So I will have to make them speak to me in English somehow. Just until I learn Japanese enough.

“Mady Troy desu. Yoroshikon onegaishimasu,” I whispered and bowed.

My real name is Magda Trojanová but it’s too Slavonic so I changed it to the English equivalent.

“I have to say you’re exactly the type I was looking for Mady-san. If I can call you by your first name,” started Daisuke-san.

I was staring at him and slowly nodded. He continued with questions like What instrument do you play? or Can you sing? I felt totally dumb. I can’t do any of these things he asked for.

“Never mind. We can teach you,” he smiled at me again and then excused himself and my manager from the office. I was waiting and constructed another of my horrible visions.

“Just what I’m doing here? Is it a nightmare or is it a dream?” I asked myself.

“Mady! Director said you’re good enough to play in his dorama,” manager appeared.

“What?!” I started to shiver. “But Mr. Tanaka, I’m really not supposed to be here. This is all wrong.”

“What are you talking about?” he smiled kindly at me. “Are you in your beloved Japan? Yes, you are! Are you going to play in Japanese dorama with your beloved actors? Yes, you are! Isn’t it just marvellous?”

“It’s real nightmare…” I sighed.

“Don’t worry. We’re going to make great gaijin tarento from you!”

Gaijin tarento… I used to want to be one of them. These wonderful people who became famous and admired in Japan. But now I’m facing the reality. I just can’t be one of them. Even though my manager is so convinced about it.

Daisuke-san entered the office and passed me some papers.

“It’s the script for the first episode. Tomorrow we’re doing the shooting for posters and CM’s so at 9am be here.”

“I’m really going to play in this dorama?” I couldn’t believe it.

“I think so,” Daisuke-san smiled again. “But we can take it as a test if you want. If you won’t like this work, you will have the chance to quit.”

“I will do my best!” I replied faster than I could think this over. Something in my heart answered before me. Strange.

Back in the car I decided to look in the script. I wanted to know who I’m going to play with and what the plot of this dorama is. The script was made for me in English.

Kokoro no Rocku or Rock of My Heart in English version was about some American girl who moved to Japan and met new friends. She was upset about her life but after she joined friend’s rock group she found her will for life and (of course) new love.

I wasn’t pay attention to the fact that I will have to play guitar and sing. I was strucked by names of my new colleagues.

The role of Linda Arkling belongs to me. But other main characters were played by Oguri Shun, Matsuda Shota and my partner was supposed to be Matsumoto Jun.

Holy crap!

So I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Next ones won’t be so detailed. This “diary” will cover just really interesting moments =)