Kai

It has been about four months since I kissed Kyungsoo. He's been texting me like crazy and I haven't been answering at all and I've been avoiding him at school as well, I switched all my classes that I had with him to a different time. I couldn't face him. I didn't want to face rejection and for him to hate me. I have fallen hard for the boy and I didn't want nothing to destroy our chemistry, but I know that i already messed it up with the kiss. Stupid Jongin. Why couldn't I just keep my feelings to myself. I sighed as I walked into history class and sat down in my assigned seat that was in the back of the class. "Hey what's up man? how you feeling today?" Sehun asked me with worry in his voice. He had always been checking up on me more now since I've become depressed. My whole wardrobe had changed as well, the tight fitting clothes I used to wear were now baggy black clothes. I think everyone noticed cause people that have never talked to me before were now talking to me. I looked at Sehun and pulled my sleeves further down on my arms being sure not to reaveal any skin on myself.

"I still feel like crap... I love him Sehun, but I ed it all up." I told him my eyes getting teary. He has made an impact on my life these last few months and it made me so appreciative and crave him more. I wanted to hug him, comfort him, and tell him that he deserves the world. "I think you should stop avoiding him and talk to him.. as much as I don't like the kid your happiness is all I care about and it's hurting me seeing you like this. You're my best friend and I feel like your depression will worsen.." I could hear the emotion in his voice as he talked to me. I've never seen this side of him before, he is really worried that I'll kill myself. Suicide. I have thought about it lately but never actually intended on going through with it. I'm scared to do that, I don't want to break my mom's heart she would be childless if I did something so selfish. I laid my head on my desk and silently cried the whole entire class period thinking about where my life went wrong.

I was a pathetic piece of crap that deserved to be alone. I cried more and my eyes became puffy and irritated but I didn't care. I wanted Kyungsoo. I needed Kyungsoo. It was time for me to have a talk with him and settle everything. I pulled out my phone and clicked on Soo's name and opened a new message to him. It was time for me to be happy.

New message

To: Kyungie <3

Soo can we talk at lunch.. I know its been months but we need to talk and I can explain everything. Meet me in the music room after you get your lunch.

I sent the message and grabbed my bag before exiting the classroom heading to my next class. I hoped he would read my message and be willing to talk to me. Kyungsoo I love you.

    Kyungsoo

I was sitting in free period when my phone beeped indicating that I recieved a message. Thinking that maybe it was my brother I quickly took out my phone and unlocked it seeing a name that I haven't seen in a while pop up. Jongin. I've been trying to reach him for months now to talk to him but he has ignored every single one of my messages. It made me feel so hurt, I felt like I scared him off somehow. Did he hate the kiss? Did he feel guilty? Was I too much for him to handle? I really felt a connection with him, and it turned into sparks when we kissed. It was a different kind of kiss than with Kris. It was so passionate like he'd been wanting to kiss me for a while but never ha