Andy appeared at the concert!!!! I am so happy today! ^_^ Happy tears. I miss his voice sooooooooo much! Exploding feels!!! 

Cr: psychedlove @ Tumblr

Anyway, I was trying to find the video about Andy's 1999 relationship but I forgot where did I saw the subbed version. So here's an old soompi forum about the incident - Link

This chapter is slightly longer because I promised Chapter 9 will be in Andy's POV. Will proof-read again tomorrow, but I just wanna post this today =)

You should have seen the look on Andy’s face when he saw her. It was like he met his soul mate…

He met his soul mate…

We decided to give him some alone time with her…

Choong Jae shuddered in his sleep. He struggled to wake up, to break out of this nightmare, but his conscious was trapped within. The memories of Andy and his counterfeit soul mate flashed across his mind, every scene like a knife piercing through his heart; the acknowledgement of the girl from s like salt scattered on his wounds.

Choong Jae never thought there would be a day he would be begging for his old nightmares to return, but it happened. He rather relived those memories than these recent ones; these recent ones that define Andy’s threat in their previous life; these recent ones that said their soulmate fate might end.

How many times he wanted to just run and hide, to get away from all these and seclude himself. But he could not. He had to smile. He had to smile at the cameras, to the fans, to the members and…to her. He had to put on a smile every time she appeared at their door step with Andy, their fingers entwined. He had to hold in his tears every time he picked up the phone and it was her calling Andy.

Life was indeed cruel.

Or rather, his soul mate was the cruel one.

******

Choong Jae dragged himself out of the room, preparing for another day of torment. Not that he will be truly prepared, but what choice did he have?

“I can’t believe you managed to find the puppies so last minutes! Was she touched? What Christmas gift did she give you?” Choong Jae heard Dongwan.

“Our Andy is the best any girl could wish for. You are making me want to date too.” Minwoo said.

Their words were like sting. Choong Jae felt pain.

“Jin-ah, you are awake.” Eric announced his presence. Choong Jae walked over, a mechanical smile appearing on his face.

“Morning hyung. Morning Andy.” Out of the corner of his eyes, Choong Jae caught guilt fleeted across Andy’s face, but it disappeared as soon as it came. Choong Jae felt a sudden urge to pit himself against the younger boy. If Andy could hurt him this way, he should at least have the guts to face Choong Jae. Choong Jae deliberately squeezed himself in the small space between Andy and Dongwan. Dongwan, clueless about what Choong Jae was doing, shifted a little.

The indignant Choong Jae felt at Andy’s sudden stiffness was instantaneous. Was it really that hard for Andy just by sitting beside him on a couch? Andy’s breathing became controlled and the younger boy’s eyes darted everywhere, landing on everything but Choong Jae.

“So…when is the marriage?” Choong Jae asked in a nonchalant tone, but his gaze fixed on Andy, daring the younger boy to turn and faced him; to answer him. He could feel Andy’s anxiety as his soul mate went a shade paler, but he would not give in. Not this time. He wanted a reply. He wanted Andy to tell him straight in the face about anything that was going through his mind. IF HE REALLY WANTED CHOONG JAE TO GET THE FREAK OUT OF HIS LIFE, JUST SAY IT TO HIS FACE! The tension between them drew on for a full five seconds until Minwoo suddenly started laughing.

“Oh my god Jinnie! You are good. I almost did not catch that.”

Choong Jae turned to Minwoo, taken aback. His earlier fuel waned by the older boy’s reaction.

“It was about the message Andy wrote for you last year right? Asking you to find someone, get married and have kids. In the end he was the first one among us to find someone!”

Choong Jae was stunned beyond words. All his hyungs started laughing and praising him for his variety skills. Andy pretended to laugh along with the hyungs, but his disconcertion did not escaped Choong Jae.

“Yes... He found his soul mate.” Choong Jae said quietly. He thought he saw pained flashed in Andy’s eyes. Did Andy feel pain because of him? Could his soul mate still do that for him?

The “small confrontation” between him and Andy went unnoticed by the members. But something in Choong Jae changed that day.

The news was delivered to him by Hyseung months later. Andy broke up with his counterfeit soul mate. Choong Jae was surprised by how numbed he had felt. If there was any sign of hope between him and Andy, it can only be a façade; the breeze before an inbound storm. This was how Andy had been tormenting him ever since they met, wasn’t it?

******

Choong Jae was in the practice room, guiding Dongwan to the dance steps of their new song after their official practice hours when Andy walked in. His soul mate looked disoriented and it was clear something was burdening him.

“Andy, are you alright?” the words, heavily tainted with worry, came out of Choong Jae’s mouth before he could stop himself. He bit his tongue preventing himself from saying more, but Dongwan still caught it. He saw Dongwan gave him a searching look. To the hyungs, the maknaes had always been temperamental towards each other and they had pretty much given up.

“Did something happen, Andy?” Dongwan questioned.

As expected, Andy turned to Dongwan. It will never be him that Andy was looking for. Choong Jae was about to turn away and exit the room when he heard Andy.

“Hyung, can I borrow Jin for a minute?”

Choong Jae eyes widened and his heartbeat accelerated. Andy wanted to speak to him…ALONE.

Dongwan glanced at Choong Jae before turning back to Andy, unsure if he should really leave the maknaes alone. But the pleading look in Andy’s eyes was impossible.

“Okay. I’ll be outside if you boys need me.” Dongwan patted both their shoulders, picked his bag up and left the room. With the absence of the older boy, Choong Jae’s nerves started to shatter. Every physical existence of him started trembling as he tried hard to fight the tears that were threatening to flow.

“You finally talked to me…again…”Choong Jae murmured.

“Junjin, you were the one that avoided me.” Andy said quietly, guilt evident in his voice. He advanced towards Choong Jae, but Choong Jae backed away, avoiding Andy’s hands.

“Why?” Choong Jae raised his head, looking straight into his soul mate’s eyes. “Why did you date her?”Choong Jae wanted answers before they talked about Andy’s reason looking for him.

“I liked her.” Andy’s gaze did not waver. It was true. And it hurt Choong Jae.

“Then why did you break up?”

Andy was silent for a moment before he said, “I couldn’t love her.”

Choong Jae felt a pang in his heart. Andy could not love her because his heart was meant for Choong Jae. That was the soulmate law. "But you let them think she was your soul mate," Choong Jae accused.

“I’m sorry.”

Andy’s apology sent a cold chill down Choong Jae’s spine. It must be a façade, because nothing good will happen to Choong Jae.

“What sickening torment have you thought about this time?” He snapped. “How have you decided to torture me again? Are you going to acknowledge my existence for today and avoid me for another year? Are you here to announce you are seeing someone new and ask for my blessing?” He saw shock flashed across Andy’s face.

“Junjin…I’m sorry. It was never my motive to hurt you, I swear…” Andy took a quick step forward and hugged him before he could dodge the younger boy again. Within such close proximity, Choong Jae felt Andy’s desperation, the desperation for a safe habour. Andy needed him. All his fury dissolved. His arms went around Andy, crumpling the back part of the younger boy’s shirt as he tightened the hug and pulled Andy nearer to him. Tears streamed down his face. He was hurt, but he wanted to protect this boy in his arms. No matter what his soul mate had done, if Andy needed him, he will be there.

“I…my mum…” Andy sniffed.

“Andy, what happen?” Choong Jae asked worriedly, his earlier interrogation of the younger boy all forgotten. An ominous sensation loomed over Choong Jae hearing the younger boy sobbed. “What happened?” He raised his voice just enough to hint his worry and concern when the younger boy did not answer.

Choong Jae could feel his soul mate’s breath on his neck when Andy inhaled and composed himself. Andy released Choong Jae and looked him in the eyes, “Junjin…I need to leave Shinhwa, and I want you to be the first to know…”

Choong Jae froze. How did he not see this coming? How could he genuinely believe Andy had stopped all his torment? How could he believe the younger boy needed him? The younger boy only wanted to strip his defense away, and when his heart was exposed and unguarded, delivered another deadly blow.

“Junjin, my mum…” Andy continued, but Choong Jae pushed him away before he could finish.

“Lee Sun Ho, why are you doing this to me again?” He shook his head in disbelief. Andy gaped at him, hurt and shock splattered on his face a second time. His innocent expression caused another wave of fury to fabricate inside Choong Jae.

“You are always doing this to me, giving me false hope and then taking everything away from me. And when I thought all was lost, you will repeat the cycle, giving me hope and then push me further into the bottomless pit. Just when are you going to stop tormenting me?” Choong Jae felt his knees buckled and he fell to the floor.

“Junjin!” Andy wanted to hold him but Choong Jae smacked his hands away.

“Why can’t you just shorten the process? Ripped my heart out once and for all? Give me the death sentence Andy. Just tell me Andy Lee, tell me in my face what you really wanted. Repeat what you had said in your previous life. Tell me you want to stop being my soul mate. Tell me to get the freak out of your life. Andy Lee Sun Ho, just tell me in my face and I will grant you your wish.” Choong Jae was holding his head and sobbing hard. He knew he was going to regret what he said, but he was too broken to care.

When Andy finally spoke, his voice was calm…too calm. “Sorry Choong Jae. I had no idea how much I was hurting you…I will not do it again. I will leave Shinhwa and return you your freedom. Please take care of yourself.”

Choong Jae was shocked by the intensity of pain he sensed in Andy’s calm voice. He wanted to take back all he had said; he wanted to hug Andy and tells him not to leave; he never wanted Andy to give him this kind of freedom…but he was too broken to react. He already regretted when he saw the pair of legs in front of him backing away and finally exited the room, but his muscles refused to listen to his command…

He let Andy left, just like that…

End of Part 1. Junjin's perspective to the point Andy left Shinhwa in 2001.