Sorry for the late update. I wanted to rush to end another fic so I could start on my Wannie angel xD But life had been busy recently so all of my fic came to a standstill =X Hope you enjoy this :)

Choong Jae’s eyes swept across the café aimlessly, looking for nothing in particular as he waited for Hyesung. His hyung had pulled him for dinner after their X Files filming.

“Jin-ah…” Choong Jae heard Hyesung’s voice and raised his head dreamily. The older man placed the food tray on the table.

“Jin! I need you to listen to me!”

Choong Jae blinked his eyes twice before his mind fully processed Hyesung’s words. He snapped back into his conscious and gave Hyesung his attention. The main singer deserved that much for everything he had done, Choong Jae thought.  His mind drifted to earlier that day when Hyesung mentioned that Choong Jae had gone through eight driving tests before finally getting his driving license. It came out like an attack, but Choong Jae knew it was really Hyesung worrying and trying to spare him from doing the stun driving. 

“Stop treating Dongwan this way. He cares about you.” Hyesung said when he saw that Choong Jae was no longer in a daze. He sat opposite Choong Jae.

Choong Jae lowered his head, feeling despicable for how he treated Dongwan. Dongwan had only been friendly and nice to him ever since he joined the dorm, but he was distancing himself from the older man just because he was afraid to see the hope in his eyes.

“Both of you used to tell each other everything. What happened?” Hyesung questioned.

Choong Jae hesitated before finally answering in a quiet voice, “He believed Andy would return. I didn’t.”

“So…you did not want Andy to be back?” the main singer asked cautiously.

Choong Jae’s jerked his head up, shocked at what Hyesung was suggesting. “I want!” He said urgently, but his adrenaline waned off as soon as he blurted the two words. He let his gaze met the floor. “But he won’t be coming back. It hurts to see Dongwan hyung being so hopeful.”

Hyesung scowled. “Jin-ah, all of us believe he would be back.”

Choong Jae shook his head willfully, “he won’t.” He had sensed it in Andy’s voice the day his soul mate wanted to grant him that unwanted freedom. Andy had no intention of coming back to Shinhwa.

“Jin-ah…so that was why you were so affected by him leaving? Pabo-ya…” Hyesung leaned over and patted his head. “Why would you make all those requests to the manager if you did not believe? So what happened between you and Andy before?”

Choong Jae widened his eyes at the unexpected question. He had not thought he had to face that question again. Hyesung did not notice his disconcertion and continued munching on his sandwich. Choong Jae remained staring at Hyesung. When his hyung realized that Choong Jae was not eating nor answering, he paused and picked up the untouched sandwich still in the tray, stuffing it into Choong Jae’s hand. He looked at Choong Jae expectantly, waiting for the answer.

“I…I think I hurt him when I ignored and avoided him.” Choong Jae finally answered.

“So you are behaving this way because you felt responsible? Yes, you did hurt him, but Andy cares about you too much for that to be the reason. There must be some other reason for him to leave.”

Choong Jae was flabbergasted. What did Hyesung mean?

A tint of sympathy flashed behind Hyesung’s eyes. He looked at Choong Jae as if he was a clueless child. “Jin-ah, we did not interfere with you two not because we gave up hope on you. It was because all of us saw how you actually cared for each other and how patient Andy was when you were cold to him. We believed he could change your mind by himself.”

Choong Jae stiffened, overwhelmed by the role reversal and the endless conflicting emotions trying to outshine each other within him. He had hurt Andy...again. In a lifetime that he was granted all his past memories, he had repeated his mistake. Even his hyungs could tell. But…Hyesung also said Andy was patient with him. Was it possible that Andy still loves him? Was it possible that Andy left Korea not because of him?

“Eat! Don’t waste my money.” Hyesung commanded and started munching on his own food again. “Jin-ah, we should be working hard for Andy to return to a better Shinhwa instead of being dejected and hopeless.”

“Hyung, what if he will never be back?”

Hyesung paused his munching and looked at Choong Jae, his expression becoming serious. “Even if I were to wait for five months, a year or even five years, I still believe he will be back with us one day.”

Choong Jae suddenly remembered a time years ago when he requested Kangta to recommend him into SM Entertainment; when he was so determined to find his soul mate; so full of energy and hope in his soul mate quest. Where had his drive to find Andy disappeared to? Where was his drive to make things right?

“Thank you hyung!” Choong Jae forced a smiled with eyes b with tears. When the two of them returned to the dorm, Choong Jae went into Dongwan’s room and hugged the man from behind. “Sorry hyung. I was being stupid. Forgive me ok?”

***

Choong Jae’s condition was getting better day by day. In spite of some occasions where the fear of losing his soul mate forever still crept into him, he became bubblier. His tension with Dongwan was resolved and Hyesung had adopted him as his “baby bird” during the actual stun driving filming. Choong Jae had also shared his idea of using the media to contact Andy with Eric, whom he knew would be missing Andy just slightly less than him (at least that was his belief). The two had started contacting producers of shows and Choong Jae’s biggest project was now to attend the Guerilla Concert. He had to let Andy know. And he had to convince Andy to return to Shinhwa.

Choong Jae was randomly searching for ideas to get Andy’s attention on the internet when the title of an article seized his attention. His body turned cold and his limbs weak as dread took over his whole being.

It couldn’t be…but he had not misread.

No matter how many times he blinked his eyes and re-read, the words would not change. On his computer’s screen were clearly the words:

Shinhwa’s Andy suicide

Choong Jae heard a curse word from behind him and a hand forcefully snatched his mouse away, clicking on the article.

“He’s in Korea!” Minwoo’s tone was urgent as he scrolled violently through the article. “Jin, call Dongwan and Hyesung now! We need to find out where Andy is and we need to find Mr Lee Soo Man. I knew the Company was lying about his visa and studies. ” Minwoo flashed a disgusted expression as he fished out his own phone and started dialing Eric’s number.

Choong Jae followed behind his hyungs when the band marched into Lee Soo Man’s office some time later.

Lee Soo Man gave a bleak sigh. “Andy was the one that begged me to tell you it was his visa. He told me you were just reaping rewards of your hard work and he cannot affect you at this moment.”

“What is the real reason Andy left Shinhwa?” Eric’s voice was thick. “What was the suicide rumour about?! And why is he not back with us since he is in Korea now?!”

Choong Jae remained quiet. He was still in shock.

He saw Lee Soo Man took a deep breath, “I don’t know where he is now. He approached me requesting go back to America because something happened back home. I knew he had cried before coming over so I said yes as long as he promised me he would be back. It seemed really urgent because he came again that night wanting to fly that very day. I thought he had discussed with you boys about leaving…”

“I…my mum…” The person in his arms sniffed. Choong Jae could feel the burden crushing down on the little man. He wanted to lift that load, to protect him.

“Andy, what happen?”

Andy did not reply.

Choong Jae asked again. His soul mate calmed down a little as he released Choong Jae from the tight desperate hug. His red puffy eyes met Choong Jae’s.

“Junjin…I need to leave Shinhwa, and I want you to be the first to know…”

He wanted to continue…

He tried to say something about his mum…

But Choong Jae pushed him away.

He pushed Andy away without listening to everything.

Why did everything that happened that day only become clear to him now?

 “Jin!” He heard his hyungs yell as the ground rushed up to meet him.

Firstly I wanna apologise to orangekath because I said it will be a lighter chapter. I really planned for a lighter one, but when I started writing a voice whispered to me about the rumour. And Jin just had to react to that...Andy And the progression of the story just became more fluid with the addition of that. Andy should be back next chapter, but no gurantee now given the characters will just speak to me half way through writing =XXX

I wrote a whole long passage about the adoption of babird xD Deleted it because I reminded myself this is Jindy and not a Shinhwa history lesson. hahaha. So here's the link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8emjaPFZEIs If you realised Jinnie was really quiet during the training and he became livelier during the actually stun driving challenge ^_^

Give me more time for the next chapter because work is a recently and I have a few projects to plan with some other SHCJs xD

Finally updating this. I am so happy!