Merry Christmas Everyone! ^_^

“Isn’t he Andy? The one that was kicked out of Shinhwa?”

As casual as it was being blurted out, the two questions pierced Andy’s heart. He wanted his hyung to succeed even without him, but it was still painful to admit he was expendable; so nonessential that the outside world’s perspective was that he was being “kicked out” of the group.

The young man pulled his attention away from the stabbing in his heart when he noticed the men were studying him; like he was a lab rat, or some animal caged in a zoo. Low murmuring started. It was not the time to tend to his injured heart and ego, or his headache for that matter. His cover was blown. Andy had to find another hideout quickly. He forced open his stiff palms, grabbed his grandmother’s hand and pushed his way pass the men and out of the door.

Andy did not waste time finding new accommodation, and it was fortunate because news of him being in Korea spread like wildfire in the next few days, together with rumour of his “attempted suicide”. Andy closed his eyes and gently massaged the area between them. He was now the target of the callous media and it will be a hundred times harder to get any job without being noticed.

“Sun Ho-ah…”

Andy opened his eyes and leaned towards the hospital bed. “Yes, Oma?” He held her palm.

“Help me tell the doctor I want to be discharged…”

“Oma!” Andy frowned disapprovingly. He knew his mother only wanted to lighten his burden. But he could not allow it. Health comes before money, and his mother before his own well-being. “Will you stop saying these?” He begged. “Just concentrate on getting better and I can handle the rest.”

Andy soundlessly left the room when his mother fell asleep again. He rest on one of the chairs along the corridor outside the row of wards, mind drifting to Eric. Even though it was short-lived, he had happiness. Even when he was the target of the managers’ violence, he felt safe as long as Eric was around. Andy opened his wallet and took out the photo behind Choong Jae’s one. Eric smiled at him among his group of friends in America.

“Hyung,” Andy said softly. “Your Andy is growing up…don’t worry…I’ll learn to protect myself.” He stared at the photo a little longer. “Please shift all your concern for me to Choong Jae…” Eric was observant, and he knew it was only a matter of time before Eric discovers that vulnerable side of Choong Jae.

***

The breeze caressed Andy’s cheeks when he stepped out of the hospital. He closed his eyes and inhaled, enjoying the cold air filling up his lungs. The man had no desire to go back to his tiny room just yet. Andy let his feet led him around, having no specific destination in mind. That was why he startled when he turned into a random building. But his confusion cleared up swiftly when he felt the tugging at his heart. The same tugging, the same pounding of heart, just like the day before he met Choong Jae in the dorm…

His heartbeat rose with his yearning to rush inside and see Choong Jae (also to see the rest of the Shinhwa members). Andy hurried forward...…

But the promise he made flashed across his mind as if he was struck by lighting.

“I had no idea how much I was hurting you…I will not do it again.”

He became paralysed.

“I will leave Shinhwa and return you your freedom.”

His body limped and he fell hard onto the ground, his back hitting something causing a splitting pain. But Andy ignored it. His heart was in a much more agonising suffering.

Choong Jae is happier now. Shinhwa is more successful than ever. He should not budge into their lives and burden them. Biting his lips, he forced himself up painfully. Choong Jae most likely could feel the tugging too and he had to get out quickly, before Choong Jae comes over. Andy limped out of the building as if he was escaping. The tugging lessened, but it was nowhere near severing.

“Andy, stop panicking. Think!” He could feel tears forming in his eyes and he wasn’t sure if it was due to the almost unbearable pain in his back, or the fear of burdening his brothers.

The feeling dispersed when the audition room door shut years ago…the tugging is a bond between the soul mates…but he had only felt it twice in all the years he knows Choong Jae. What were so unique about these two occasions?!

Andy inhaled, trying to keep calm and concentrate. Then it dawned upon him…everything was so logical and obvious from the beginning he did not know how he could miss it - They were separated. Choong Jae and Andy were separated and some unknown force out there must be trying to get them to each other. The audition room door effectively cut off the tugging between them because he could not have possibly gone in to the audition room then; and Choong Jae could not come out. It was when hope of seeing each other was almost nil that the tugging dispersed…Andy bit on his lips and hobbled to the bus-stop across the road, his right hand holding his back.

When he just stepped onto the curb, Choong Jae’s voice entered his ear. His soul mate was shouting his name repeatedly, desperately. Andy’s heartbeat sped up as he turned over, looking at the man across the street. Seeing him in flesh was so much more to bear for Andy. The tears flow out. In a moment, Andy witnessed Eric rushing out of the building and shouting for him too. His heart stopped momentarily at the shock.

Eric could feel him too?

The bus came. Regardless of how unwilling he was, and how painful he would become, Andy boarded. The tugging stopped. He saw his soul mate turned pale, and Eric was still shouting for him. Then he witnessed his manager marching out. By then the bus had gone too far for Andy to hear anything the manager was shouting furiously at Choong Jae and Eric, but Andy did not missed the manager hauling Choong Jae up. His limps went cold with fear.

What if Choong Jae became the new target for the managers? He was the new maknae after all.

Writing this makes me wonder who do you think is suffering more in the story. Is it Junjin who knows nothing and was constantly being tortured by fear and panic attack? Or do you think it is more difficult for Andy who knows more, but had too many worries and burdens and no one by his side?

Anyway, please join Andy's Cook Book Project by Andyyahhh! The deadline is extend to 31 December 2014!  Link here!

And do shop at Kiwi Market to fund for the project =)