Andy had never been so conflicted in his whole life. He wanted, so badly, to just barge into the room and hug the boy named Choong Jae, to hug that soul that belonged to him, yet he was terrified. He was terrified that after 17 years, it took him less than a second to fall for a man. Andy was terrified of how society will view him. He was terrified what would people around him think. But most of all, he was terrified that Choong Jae would hurt him again……

Andy plodded into his room, hoping to steal some time where he could be alone to clear his mind, but Eric followed him. Andy heaved a sigh, knowing that almost nothing about him could escape Eric’s eyes.

“So…do you have something to tell me about you and Choong Jae?” Eric interrogated.

“Hyung, he…I…” Andy sighed again. “Hyung, I don’t know how to explain. My mind is in a mess now.”

Eric’s gaze was piercing. But Andy knew this was one of those few times Eric could never gather anything out of Andy’s mind; because Andy himself did not even know what was in his mind. He was too mess up.

“Hyung, I am really not ready. I will tell you when I sort things out…Just…Just let me be alone for the time being please?” Andy beseeched.

Eric’s gaze softened. He ruffled Andy’s hair. “Andy-ah, I am just worried about you. Promise me you will be okay.”

Andy nodded and gave Eric a sincere smile.

The older boy smiled back and patted his head. “And remember no matter what I’ll be there for you. I made a promise to your parents.”

With that, Eric exited the room.

Andy sat himself down in the chair beside the desk as memories of his past lives invaded his mind.

“This will be our last life time together. I promise I will find a way to stop being your soul mate. I never want to be with you again, ever!”

He had said that to Choong Jae in his previous life.

It had hurt him, even more than how it had hurt Choong Jae then.

Andy swallowed. It hurt him even now.

Andy heard a tiny voice in him echoing that he really wanted things to work out between him and his soul mate. But what if Andy’s intuition was correct? What if the reason he remembered was really what he thought? If it was true, what Choong Jae did this time was almost unforgivable.

Andy felt like crying, but he did not want to worry Eric hyung any further. He took his clothes and went into the showers.

Andy lifted his head and let the cold water caressed his face when he heard the door creaked. Minwoo came in.

“Andy-ah, are you okay?”

“Hyung.” Andy responded. “Yes, I’m doing fine.”

Minwoo took off his clothing and walked into the showers. He placed his arms across Andy’s neck. “You know, if there were anything between you and Choong Jae, you should just solve it like a man.”

“Hyung, why would you say that?” Andy replied.

Was he that obvious? Or did Choong Jae came out of the room and told something? No…it cannot be. If that was it, Minwoo hyung would not asked him to solve it like a man.

“I really don’t know him before.” Andy saw Minwoo was not convinced and he added “I swear this is the first time I saw him this lifetime.”

“Then why were you two staring at each other like you were in your own universe?”

Andy blushed.  He figured it would be easier to get out of the situation by lying. “Okay, he did look a little bit like someone from my childhood. I don’t know if it is really him. They have different names.”

“Friend or foe?”

“Friend.” Andy answered firmly. Minwoo nodded.

A few more minutes went by and the door opened again. Andy turned over and was shock to see it was Choong Jae.

“I’m so sor…” Choong Jae cut his sentence and gaped at them.

“Hi Choong Jae, wanna join us?” Minwoo asked heartily. It was Andy’s turn to gape at Minwoo. He heard Eric and Dongwan running steps and crazy laughter. Andy turned his head towards the door - standing in front of his two hyung was Choong Jae, wide eyes, gawking at his body.

“Why are you staring at me?!” Andy panicked. He grabbed his towel and wrapped himself up quickly.

“He was just shock Andy. Come ‘on… don’t be shy!” Minwoo chuckled and tugged at his towel, but Andy refused to let go of it.

“Minwoo hyung, don’t do that.” Choong Jae said.

There were more exchanged of conversation but all that was in Andy’s mind was how he could get out of the situation. But to his bewilderment, Choong Jae suddenly collided with him and he saw Minwoo’s hand started stripping his soul mate.

NO……This could not be happening!

******

Andy sometimes thought he did the stupidest things. A shower can help to clear the mind, but not when you were in the dorm with the hyungs. He was surprised he did not die from shock and confusion just there and then when his hyungs pushed Choong Jae into the showers. Another thing that shaken him was the one that actually pulled his towel away was his most trusted Eric hyung!

Wasn’t he still worrying about the relationship between Choong Jae and Andy a few hours ago? What made Eric hyung changed his mind so fast and believed there was no adversity between them? What did Choong Jae said to Eric hyung?

Andy squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

He was not ready…He was not ready to face Choong Jae. He was not ready to accept that his soul mate was a male and he might never be rea……

“Andy-ah!” Andy’s thoughts were interrupted by Eric. He raised his head to meet Eric who just entered the room.

“Andy-ah, we are heading out for lunch. Choong Jae is still in his room. Will you wait for him and bring him to the usual place?”

“What?!”

“Thank you Andy-ah! Hyesung, Minwoo and Dongwan had already left. But Hyung is hungry. Hyung needs to be there first!” Eric gave him a hug and exited the room.

“What?!” Andy repeated, dazed, the meaning of it floating at the back of his mind. Then when it finally sank in, he sprang up and rushed out of the room. “Wait…hyung!” He called out to the closing door.

The door clicked shut. The dorm was quiet except for Andy’s voice fading into silence.

Now what should he do?

Andy tilted his head to look at the close door of Choong Jae’s room. For the umpteen times in these two days, his heartbeat went to the danger zone. He stood frozen on the spot.

Should he go over and knocked?

Andy gulped.

Should he?

The seconds tick by, becoming minutes… Andy did not know exactly how long he had stood there, with the same thought running through his mind when the forbidden door finally opened. Choong Jae stepped out. The boy was shocked for less than a millisecond but his face soon broke out into a wide grin.

“Andy-ah!”

The grin was like the first drop of sun ray that lit up the world. It was clear and warm, dispersing all the darkness. Andy’s heartbeat rose to record speed.

His lips quivered a little, as he tried to form a simple coherent sentence telling Choong Jae where the hyungs are, but he found a lump forming in his throat. And he suddenly realized, with their complicated relationship, he did not know how he should address the boy in front of him. For the first time in his life, he got annoyed by Korean’s customary.

“The hyungs are waiting.” He managed, turned around and exited the dorm with his soul mate following behind. Never once did he dare to turn back and look at Choong Jae.