“It’s been four years, you jerk. How insensitive can you get?”

“Call me a jerk, call me insensitive, I don’t care. But this question has been haunting me ever since the day he left. I want to know whether it’s with you, or not… So I can finally move on.”

“So is this what you really are? Showing up after four years, asking me some stupid question and acting as if nothing ever happened between us. Was it that easy for you? You can act mighty all you want, but you better know that for me, it was never that easy. Cowards, both of you…”

“I had my reasons, Park Jiyoon.”

“Four years, but why now? Why today?”

“It doesn’t matter why I decided to meet you today, or whatever day. The point is I want to know the truth. Just answer yes, or no,” he s the necklace towards her face, but she looks away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and please move. I need to get inside my house.”

“Park Jiyoon.”

“Don’t say my name ever again. We don’t know each other, remember? You asked for it, so you got it.”

She pushes Daehyun lightly to the side, just enough space for her to punch in her passcode. The door clicks open, and she puts one foot in.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to answer me, but I need to give you this.” Daehyun takes out the four-year-old letter from his pocket, unfolds it and extends his hand. “I just think it’s time and it’s best for you to read it. To… you know… so that you’ll understand why he did it. Yongguk.”

Jiyoon turns slowly, her face showing no interest over what Daehyun just said. “I started over. I don’t remember anything, so just forget about it.” With that, she closes the door.

Daehyun doesn’t give up; he won’t give up. She slides the letter under the door, pushing it far enough in hopes that Jiyoon would take it and read it. The necklace he’s been gripping since just now; he hangs it at the door handle. “Jiyoon, I really hope that you’ll understand. It’s not Yongguk’s fault. It’s never Yongguk’s fault.” Daehyun walks away, his heart heavy with regret.

Behind the door, Jiyoon hears everything what Daehyun said. She shakes her head slightly, as if it would clear her thoughts. The piece of folded paper stays stationary at her feet, slightly ajar as if asking for her to open it. She doesn’t want to be shaken up by this. Four years has made her strong enough, or at least she hoped. But she feels that if she doesn’t read the letter, she’ll somehow disappoint Daehyun. She doesn’t want to disappoint him but at the same time she doesn’t want to care. She’s moving on with her life, and that’s exactly what she’s doing right now.

She walks towards the kitchen, ignoring the letter. She takes out a jug of water from the fridge and pours it for herself. Making herself comfortable sitting on the chair, she traces her finger around the rim of the glass. She takes a huge gulp, and the rush of cold water shocks her system that she coughs a few times. Her heart suddenly feels burdened, she knows what she’s doing is not right. A letter that will make her understand why Yongguk did all of that?

She’s not strong. She gives in and she couldn’t have run faster to grab the letter. She unfolds it hastily, and reads it on the way to the sofa. She doesn’t give herself a break; she finishes reading the letter even before giving herself a chance to sit. Her eyebrows crease; trying to make sense of the letter she’s holding. Nothing makes sense at all; it’s a letter from Yongguk to Daehyun? Her heart races as the letter entices her to read it countless times.

“He did it all for me… Because of me. I was the reason.” The tears are threatening to fall but she holds it in. A mix of emotions is swimming around; confusion, sadness, numbness and a huge part of it is made of anger. She’s angry with herself. Why can’t she see it? It was all because of her. Because she needed a new heart, Yongguk would do anything. She’s selfish, and look where everything lead to.

She can’t cry just yet. Maybe it’s too late to apologize to Yongguk, but she hopes it’s not too late for Daehyun. She runs into her bedroom, and there it is, the necklace with the moon-shaped locket. She’s pretty sure they’re couple lockets, and the other half happens to be with Daehyun. The moon. She reads the bottom part of the letter.

I hope you’ll find the moon someday.

It’s the exact message she got from Yongguk, except the word ‘moon’ was replaced with ‘star’. Yongguk, what were you trying to do? Hoping they’ll meet, by fate? Everything seems so ridiculous to Jiyoon. Why would Yongguk do this?

She holds the necklace and letter, close to her heart, hoping Yongguk would pop out of somewhere, explaining everything. Make everything clear, and things would go back to normal. But no, she’s still alone in her bedroom. The tears she’s been keeping in, streams down her face, no strong barrier to hold them in anymore. She roughly wipes them off.

She trudges towards the front door, and swings it almost immediately. What she doesn’t expect is, Daehyun is there. Sitting on the floor opposite her, looking up when she steps out. She stops when he gets up, and he smiles at her. Oh how she misses that smile. Instantly she feels guilty thinking about it, and puts on a straight face hoping that Daehyun wouldn’t notice. Daehyun is now standing in front of her, stretching out his hand. She flinches when he cups her face, but his warmth makes her stay still.

“Don’t move.” He wipes the tears off with his both of his thumbs, and lifts the corner of to make her smile. “Smile, I’m sure Yongguk doesn’t want to see you sad like this. And no, I don’t want to hear you regretting yourself. It’s not your fault, and it’s not Yongguk’s fault. It just happened, okay? And it just happened that we met. That’s it. It’s no one’s fault, ever, so I don’t want to hear you apologizing.”

“I thought you left… I heard your footsteps fading away…”

“I wanted to, but I figured I’d stay a little bit longer. Just in case it becomes like now, you know? Aish, as expected, Daehyun’s instincts are never wrong,” he jokes. It’s enough to make her laugh, and relief floods his heart.

“It’s good seeing you smile again, Park Jiyoon.”

“I just wish that Yongguk is still here, so that I can tell him that I’m sor-“

“Aish, I already told you it’s not your fault. Things happen, but it’s nobody’s fault.”

“If that’s the case, I wish I could have stopped him from, you know, going over the railing and-“

Daehyun pulls her into a hug, cutting her sentence and shocking her. Her hands stay awkwardly on the side as she hears her own heartbeat together with Daehyun’s. She doesn’t know what to do as she feels Daehyun’s lips on her forehead. Daehyun is not as tall as Yongguk, so he couldn’t rest his chin on her head like Yongguk. As tall as he is, he can only reach her forehead. She closes her eyes and thinks about how warm he really is. She finally loops her hand, her chest rising up and down slowly.

She feels repentant that she’s enjoying this, so almost as quickly as he hugged her, she pulls herself away. “I’m… I’m sorry. I can’t.”

If Daehyun was surprised, he’s hiding it really well. Instead he shrugs, “I understand. Care for a walk? Sooyoung once said that walking could help ease your heart. It truly helps.”

Jiyoon goes quiet at the mention of his late girlfriend’s name, but she nods anyway. To make it less stiff, she smiles. “Let’s go to the nearest park, there are a lot of street food sold there.”

“Are you serious?” Daehyun’s eyes widen at the mention of ‘street food’ and before Jiyoon knows it, he’s already striding forward, leaving her behind. “Come on, we need to get there before it’s dark. Gotta try all the food there.”

This time, Jiyoon sincerely smiles. She sees his back disappears around the corner and shakes her head. Looks like Daehyun hardly changed over the past four years.

…

Daehyun pokes the takoyaki with the wooden stick and sticks out his tongue when he can’t lift it. “Aish, it’s so hard to pick this up.”

Jiyoon, who’s been watching since just now, snatches the wooden stick from him and stabs the ball swiftly. She succeeds and quickly chews it. “You need skills,” she says after swallowing.

They’re sitting near the lake, with four empty boxes, which were once filled with takoyaki at the side. It’s already the fifth box, but Daehyun still can’t get the hang of it. The sun is already setting, providing a nice ambience. Jiyoon hugs her legs to her chest, resting her chin between her knees. She lets her black hair form a curtain around her face. She doesn’t realize that Daehyun has already put the takoyaki down, and reaches to tuck her hair behind her ear. Now she’s resting the side of her face on her knees, looking at Daehyun.

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Daehyun points the stick at her, “I don’t want people to get scared, looking at you like… that.”

“Like what?” She reaches out and pinches his right cheek.

“Ouch, let me go!”

Jiyoon giggles and lets it go. Daehyun rubs the red area on his cheek and continues eating the takoyaki. “I’ve always wanted to do that, you know. Pinch your cheek so that you know you deserve it, you jerk.”

“Sure, call me anything you want.”

“But…” The sudden change of tone in her voice causes Daehyun to look back at her.

“But?” Daehyun lifts an eyebrow.

“Why after four years? Why today? Why only now you decide to come and look for me? When you clearly told me to get out of your life.”

“You’re making me sound like a bad guy. Okay, so maybe I am, but I’m not that bad. You want to know why? Why after four years? Because I had been together with Sooyoung for four years.” A pause. “Why today? Because today is the the day that Sooyoung… left.”

Jiyoon blinks, totally forgetting about it.

Daehyun continues. “I figured that four years is more than enough time to forget. I figured that since we had been together for four years, four years are enough to wash away all the memories. And today, this exact date marks the last day she’s here. It’s like the end for us. I want to stop right here, that’s what I’m thinking.”

Jiyoon keeps quiet, as her head is jumbled up.

“Also, if you’re thinking about any words of consolation, I don’t think I need it.”

“I just, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never been good at making people feel better. All I do is hurt them.”

“Don’t say that, I know you’ll do a good job, better than me anyway. It’s just that I don’t think I’ll be able to forget Sooyoung.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s right here.”

I've been posting for three days in a row because I had some free time to write and I just happened to have quite some ideas at that time. Thank you to all the subscribers and comments, I really appreciate it :) You guys are the best! I just feel so happy whenever I see my notifications, even though it's just one additional subscriber, because I'm really thankful for every single one of you. The reason I chose takoyaki for this chapter is because I've been craving for takoyaki lately T.T I know it's from Japan but I see the 'witch' from the drama 'Surplus Princess' sells them. So I thought, why not? Enough of me babbling and I hope you enjoy this chapter. ^^