“Soojin, Soomin, if oppa’s gone, both of you will know how to take care of yourselves, right?” Yongguk says while on the way to dropping them at school.

“Oppa, what are you talking about? Why are you talking as if you’re going to go away?” Soojin tucks his shirt, refusing to get off the car when he pulls off in front of their school.

“I’m just stating the possibility, but I know you guys know how to take care of yourselves. Now go, before you’re late for school.”

“Oppa, don’t leave us,” Soomin looks at his brother in the driver’s seat.

Yongguk smiles, but he doesn’t give any reply.

“Oppa…” Soojin whines.

“Come on, you’re going to be late for school.” He unlocks the car, gets out, and opens the back door. Usually both of the twins would hop out of the car cheerfully, but this time around, they get out slowly. What Yongguk had said to them gave an effect towards them. Yongguk kisses their foreheads and ruffles their hair. They walk hand in hand towards the school building, and Yongguk waves to them. He gives off one final smile to them before they enter.

He checks his watch, and it’s only 7:30 in the morning. Maybe he should grab some coffee before making his way to the hospital. He gets onto his car, and reaches for his briefcase on the passenger seat beside him. He opens it, and the takes out a brown envelope. He checks the contents and smiles, happy with what he sees. He drives to the nearest café, grabs some coffee and moves on to his next destination: Daehyun’s apartment.

As soon as he reaches the high-rise building, he enters the compound without much problem and arrives at the letterboxes for the residents there. He searches for Daehyun’s house number. After browsing for a moment, he finally found it. He chucks the brown envelope into the box, hoping that Daehyun would discover it at the right time.

One job done, moving on to the other.

…

The car locks with a beep as Daehyun presses the button on the remote control. It’s already night. He has spent two whole days in his family’s house, catching up with what they lost for these past years. Behind everything bad that happened these past months, there’s at least something good to it. It feels good to be able to call them family again. The feeling of dissatisfaction he has been experiencing all these years is gone just by spending two days with his family. Jiwook even cancelled all of his meetings just to spend time with him. He remembers how much he used to hate them, thinking they’re ignoring him entirely but it’s more than just that.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and makes his way towards the elevator to bring him to his home. He presses the button next to the elevator, and when the door opens with a ‘ding’ he suddenly remembers he hasn’t checked his letterbox. He ignores the open door and walks towards the row of letterboxes. He expects to find a number of letters addressed to him since he hasn’t returned home for the past two days, but he only finds a brown envelope with no address on it. The sender must have dropped the envelope himself. Intrigued, he takes it out. There’s a bulge in the envelope, so there must be an object in it. He looks around to try his luck on whether the sender is still around, but to no avail. He’s completely alone. Tucking the envelope under his armpit, he decides to open it in his apartment.

After taking off his shoes, he immediately goes to the sofa, takes off his socks and dumps the envelope on the glass table in front of him. He tears the envelope and pours out the contents. He’s so curious he couldn’t wait to know what it contains. A car key hung at a keychain, a necklace with a star-shaped locket, an A4 paper that seems to be a letter and a small piece of paper fall out. He picks up the car key first because it seems so familiar to him. It was his old car key. It didn’t even cross his mind to go look for his old car, after everything that happened; he had decided to forget about it. But now, they key is in his hands and he’s flustered. He puts down the key and examines the necklace next. It’s a silver chain with a star-shaped locket, and he’s never seen it before. He snatches the letter next, and reads the lines one by one. He doesn’t know what he expected, but he couldn’t hide the shock that he was feeling after reading the whole letter.

To Mr. Jung Daehyun,

This letter is probably a shock to you because you wouldn’t expect to get one from me. In fact, I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, after everything that happened a few days ago. I will say nothing about it, but I just want to know that I did it because I had to. I want you to understand that the only reason I agreed to do it was because I was so desperate to find a heart donor so Jiyoon could live. I know, you can call me selfish; who on earth would take someone’s life away in exchange for someone to live? Hyunshik made that offer and I couldn’t resist. I was too blinded by it, I admit. Maybe it was that feeling people called love that made me blind until I couldn’t differentiate what’s wrong and what’s right. Thinking about it, I’m very embarrassed, but to me, it’s fine as long as Jiyoon gets to continue to live.

The car key in the envelope is the keys your old car. It’s perfectly fine, so you might want to get that address I wrote on the small piece of paper down so you can get it back. As for that star-shaped locket, I would like to ask for your favour to keep it. I would like to say it’s a gift.

Although I don’t know you very well, I know you’re a good person. You don’t deserve to go through all of this, and I know you cared for Sooyoung a lot. After hearing everything from Hyunshik’s mouth, I feel bad for almost taking your life away. You have a long journey ahead of you. As for me, maybe I’ll stop here.

It’s fine if Jiyoon’s last memory of me is bad, as long as the misunderstanding between the both of us is resolved. It’s hard saying goodbye like this, but I know saying it face to face will make me feel guilty. It doesn’t matter if I didn’t get to say those three words to Jiyoon, but I hope that you will. I know you’ll take care of her better than I do. I hope that you’ll remember me, even when I’m gone.

I hope you can do me a favour and please keep this letter a secret from Jiyoon.

Maybe we’ll meet again some day, only not in this life.

I hope you’ll find the moon someday.

Goodbye.

Yours truly,

Bang Yongguk

He reads the letter over and over, trying to make sense on what’s happening. The line at the end of the letter confuses him, what is the doctor trying to tell him?

But no… The sudden realization hits him hard.

He searches frantically for his phone, dialing the doctor’s number in a hurry. He bites his lips as the phone keeps ringing, as the other side doesn’t answer. “Come on, pick it up… Don’t do this.” He presses the end button clumsily as it enters voicemail. He’s stuck thinking on what to do. He doesn’t have Yongguk’s house phone number… Wait, he does! That time when Jiyoon called him, surely there’s the number somewhere in his call log. He searches for the phone number and smiles when he finds it. He waits for someone to pick it up and hears the familiar voice that’s been making his heart beat faster than usual. Only this time around, her voice is not the reason his heart is beating madly.

“Jiyoon, where’s Yongguk? Is he there?”

“Why are you searching for him?”

“Just tell me whether he’s there, at home!”

“No… He hasn’t returned home.”

“Did he call recently?”

“No, he rarely calls when he’s at the hospital. He’s always busy. What’s wrong?”

Daehyun doesn’t give an answer as he ends the call. He grabs the letter, shoves it into his pocket, grabs his car keys and gets out of his apartment as quick as lightning. He doesn’t feel tired anymore; it’s as if the letter is an energy booster for him. He storms to his car, worried he might lose any second. Something’s definitely not right. He doesn’t want to think about what’s going to happen, but his insticts tell him that Yongguk is about to do something stupid.

He’s going to take his own life away.

“Let my instincts be wrong this time!” he shouts in the car, when the highway is packed with people returning from work. He’s on his way to the hospital, but is frustrated when he’s stuck in the traffic jam. “He won’t do it, he’s not that stupid, right?” Daehyun’s starting to talk to himself.

As soon as he arrives at the hospital, he runs towards the elevator to bring him to the floor Yongguk’s office is on. He jumps out of the elevator and approaches the counter. The nurses who are doing their work look up when the young man suddenly nears them, panting. Nayoung, who’s arranging the files behind, enquires.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yongguk, Doctor Yongguk. Where is he?”

“He didn’t come to work today, but we don’t know why. We couldn’t reach him.”

“So you’re saying you didn’t see him today?” Daehyun slams his fist on the counter.

“Please calm down, mister. This is a hospital,” Nayoung says kindly, with a forced smile.

“What’s going on here?” Jinhwan appears beside Daehyun, lifting an eyebrow to Nayoung. Nayoung just shrugs and returns back to her work.

“You must know Yongguk, right? Did he call you or anything?”

“And you are…?”

“Daehyun, Jung Daehyun. I’m his… friend. Just let me know whether you’ve heard of him today.”

Jinhwan shakes his head carefully. “I’m afraid not.”

Daehyun sighs heavily and closes his eyes. “Don’t you think it’s weird he didn’t come in today?”

“Well, he’s been acting weird these past days…”

“Just… Ah, nevermind!” Daehyun turns around, leaving the nurses and doctor befuddled. He needs to find Yongguk. He hopes that he’s still holding on somewhere. He quickens his pace towards his car, and exits the hospital building almost as quickly.

“Yongguk, Bang Yongguk, just where are you right now?!” He hits the steering wheel with his palms. He drives around aimlessly, just looking for that familiar figure. “Please stay alive, Bang Yongguk!” He tries his luck again by calling him, but still no answer. As he stops at the traffic light near Myeongdong, he looks around, praying to find Yongguk among the throng of people on the sidewalk. He scans the faces of the pedestrians, his eyes flicking swiftly, not missing even one person. Then he sees him.

The doctor’s figure weaves in and out of the crowd, barely standing out. But he recognizes the doctor’s stature. As quick as lightning, he jumps out of his car and races to the person. He gets pushed around but he doesn’t give up. He keeps pushing himself forward, his eyes trained on the back of the person. Not once does the doctor look back, only looking forward, going somewhere Daehyun doesn’t know. He calls out the doctor’s name, but he doesn’t answer. Probably because it’s too loud; Daehyun is still trying to be optimistic.

He keeps following him, but soon after he loses Yongguk. He sweeps the view 360 degrees, but he doesn’t see the doctor. His palms are sweaty, and he doesn’t know where to head. He doesn’t want to give up, but his legs are starting to feel sore. The loud blast of music from the shops in Myeongdong deafens his ears, and he closes his eyes to calm himself down.

Among the throng of people, Yongguk slows down when he’s sure he lost Daehyun. He heard the latter calling his name alright, but surely he should pretend that he didn’t. He takes a breather by leaning against a wall. He looks at his watch; it’s almost 10 o’clock but people are still busy shopping and eating at Myeongdong.

Daehyun stands in the middle of the crowd, throwing back his head with his eyes still closed. He tries to get his mind to think straight, but he can’t help and panic. This can’t be the end; he can’t lose Yongguk just like this. He takes out the crumpled letter from his pocket. He reads it over and over again, trying to make sense of it.

I hope you’ll find the moon someday.

Daehyun looks up to the sky. Bang Yongguk, just what moon are you talking about?

I'm sorry for not updating for so long but here it is, chapter 34. Hope you enjoyed it and thank you :)