“I hope you’re about to tell me something worthwhile, because coming here late at night is surely not my priority.” A thin layer of melted ice covers the top of her drink, which she hasn’t touched since it arrived on the table. It’s the opposite for Daehyun, he’s already finishing up his cold beverage.

“If I tell you this, I hope you won’t be too shocked.”

“I won’t guarantee that until I hear what you’re going to say.”

“I think Yongguk’s planning something…”

“Like what? Taking someone’s life away? Hasn’t he been planning that for the past few months? That’s not something shocking.”

“Is it even possible for me to ask for you to stop being stubborn and listen to what I really have to say? Stop treating as if Yongguk is the bad guy!”

“He is! He tried to kill you, remember? Or have you forgiven him already? Can you imagine what I felt; living in the same house as a murderer?”

“He has a reason for doing that! Maybe if you know his real reason, you’ll be searching for him, asking for his apology!”

Jiyoon diverts her attention towards the water droplets forming on the outer surface of the glass in front of her. “Then tell me… What’s his reason for doing that?”

Daehyun opens his mouth to speak, but stops when the line from Yongguk’s letter appears in front of him.

I hope you can do me a favour and please keep this letter a secret from Jiyoon.

Yongguk doesn’t want to let Jiyoon know the real reason he did it, and he’d rather leave as a bad guy.

“I can’t tell you…”

“Because he doesn’t have any acceptable reason on why he did it.”

Jiyoon gets up, leaving the silent Daehyun on his own. She’s had enough of getting entangled in their game. She starts making her way to the nearest subway station, descends the stairs and searches around her bag for her transportation card.

“Park Jiyoon, wait!”

He ignores the familiar voice as she proceeds to scan her card, and passes through the gate. Daehyun’s footsteps echo in the underground space, chasing Jiyoon. He realizes he doesn’t have his transportation card, and is forced to stand in front of the gate. Some people voice their unsatisfaction as he’s blocking their way. He has no choice but to scream on top of his lungs, while being stuck at that point.

“Yongguk’s planning to take his own life away!”

Other people ignore him, thinking he’s out of his mind, but not for Jiyoon. She hears his voice, loud and clear. She doesn’t believe her ears and turns back. “Stop embarrassing yourself and tell me that’s not true.”

“I don’t care if people think I’m crazy, but I want you to know this. I don’t want you to think that he’s the bad guy. He was trapped, Jiyoon! He had no other choice. And now… he’s thinking of taking his own life away. Without you knowing.”

“What are you talking about? You don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Maybe I could be wrong; heck, I’m hoping that I’m wrong. But he sounded as if he wanted to go. Like, really go. Be gone. On top of that, he didn’t go to work today. He was not at the hospital. He didn’t pick up his phone either.”

“How do you know he wants to… no that’s not important. We… should find him,” her shoulders sag.

 “You see, that’s the thing… He doesn’t want to be found.”

…

Yongguk looks over to the gushing water below. It’s far from being calm, and he’s pretty sure that the temperature would take his life away once he reaches the surface. He would be engulfed in the rushing water and Bang Yongguk would be no more. He runs his fingers through his hair; he didn’t gel it today. Who puts gel in their hair when it’s their last day here?

He’s just moments away from ending his own life, but he doesn’t know whether it’s the only choice left. Ironic, how a surgeon like him is planning to take his own life away, when he’s been battling his whole career trying to save people’s lives. His mind goes back to what resulted to this.

19^th of March: The day Sooyoung passed away, the day of Jiyoon’s heart surgery

Yongguk just finished thanking Daehyun, thanking him for allowing the operation to happen. He’s about to put away his phone when his screen flashes again. He picks up the phone as fast as lightning when he sees Hyunshik’s ID on the screen. “I’ve been waiting for so damn long, Yongguk. When are you going to keep your promises?”

“Can you please wait after this operation is over?”

“Waiting and waiting, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past few months! I can’t wait any longer.”

“Just wait until I’ve finished with the surgery. Then I’ll do it.”

“Tsk, I shouldn’t have dealt with you in the first place. This is what people do when they already got what they want. They forget their promises altogether. Today is the last day Daehyun can live, got it?”

A long silence fills the space. “Doctor Yongguk, I need your answer. I can’t wait any longer.”

“I understand; today’s the last day Daehyun can live.”

Click. Just with that, Hyunshik hangs up. Yongguk grips the phone tightly in his hand, and closes his eyes. He needs to focus on this surgery; Jiyoon’s life is on the line. He needs to make things right; he doesn’t care what happens to him after, but first he needs to save Jiyoon’s life.

“Doctor, everything is ready,” his assistant appears beside him.

He nods, waving her away. “I’ll be there in a second.”

He takes a deep breath, makes way towards the operating theatre and as its automatic doors open, he pulls up his face mask. This is it, there’s no turning back now.

…

He feels as if he’s on cloud nine; he’s so happy that the surgery was a complete success. Seeing Jiyoon’s peaceful face after being anesthetized and after the heart surgery was done really makes him feel as if he has achieved something great. He did, he thinks to himself, he just saved the love of his life. After getting his last look on Jiyoon for the day, and after being satisfied with her condition, he decides to go back home to rest.

The call that he receives while he’s just getting into his car makes his heart drop. He doesn’t pick up the call as fast as he did just now. Reluctantly, he puts the phone to his ear. He expected Hyunshik to push him further, but he heard something else.

“I… I think I killed him…” Hyunshik’s voice trails off, much to Yongguk’s horror.

“What do you mean? Get your senses straight and speak properly.”

“I think, I think I killed Daehyun. I hit his head with a bat and he’s lying on the ground.”

“Just stay right there and tell me where you are! Don’t do anything else stupid!”

“…”

He leaves the hospital underground car park as fast as his car’s able to go. He presses on the pedal and wishes that Daehyun is still alright; that Hyunshik is wrong. What has he gotten himself into? This is not the life he wanted.

 The starless night marks the first time he met Daehyun, but the only thing is the younger lad was lying on the ground, his head bloodied. His head is jumbled up; the images of Sooyoung and Jiyoon comes flashing non-stop in front of him. He shakes his head to clear it up, and checks to see if his pulse is still there. To his relief, his pulse is still there, but beating really slowly. He looks up to Hyunshik, with a face of disbelief. “He’s still alive but barely. You better clean this mess up.”

He picks up Daehyun, and heaves him onto his back. The helpless man’s head falls onto his shoulder. “I’ll tell them that he’s involved in a car accident…”

“But there’s no car…” Hyunshik states.

“Do whatever. Get a wrecked car, I don’t know! Or you want to turn yourself in? You have a lot of contacts, don’t you? You have a lot of dirty contacts, just ask them for help! I don’t want to get involved in your stupid games anymore. I still can’t believe you would do this to your own brother.” He puts down Daehyun at the back seat and slams the door. He grabs the door handle to the driver’s side.

“You agreed to kill him in return for a heart for Jiyoon, doesn’t that make you heartless?”

Yongguk stops and turns back to Hyunshik. He’s smiling cynically, satisfied to be able to make Yongguk sway. “I was desperate.”

“Kill someone in order to save someone’s life? That’s pretty self-centered. Also, if you had killed Daehyun earlier, none of this would have happened. I would walk out of your life, satisfied. Just bear this in mind; you’re the killer all along, Bang Yongguk. It’s all your fault.”

It’s his fault and he knows it. His tough appearance doesn’t mean he has a tough heart. He’s weak and he’s crumbled so easily. He wants to give time to himself to fix things up, but at the same time he wants to end everything with this. He looks again below, fear clenching his heart.

This is it, Bang Yongguk.