Username: W3ntchuuKrown
Story Title (&link): Dear Diary, This House Is Chaos.
Main characters: JIHYE (OC) & BTS
Genre(s): COMEDY, FAMILY, SITCOM, FLUFF.
Current Length (No. of Chapters): 8+ (on going)
Rated?: No
Reviewer: MaRwAaa

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Before anything~ I actually reviewed this according to my opinion and what I think to be true. I hope you will receive it with broad mindedness^^

Title: 
First of all, it descripes the story very well, and it completely suits the type of your fanfic. It attracted me as I like this kind of fluffy stories. Although it may look boring as it points to the ''diary'' thing, which is overly used I think, I still approve it very much. 

Poster/Background: 
They are both amazing! As I don't want to repeat, they actually fit the type of the story, especially that it is a sitcom. I think the poster was perfectly done with those pictures of BTS boys looking like a group of trouble makers~ poor Jihye^^ The words written there are cute, too; I liked that addition.
The background with its bright colors is perfect; it makes the reader get the feel of the story. Good job!

Description & Foreword:
I liked the way which you descriped your story with-using the main character's words in her diary. However, I hoped that you used a separated description for yout character so that readers who are not fans of BTS will understand some of their features in advance.
However, I think that the description actually attracts the reader as it contains that funny quotation of Jihye's conversation with her oppas. In general, good job in that^^

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Creativity/Originality: 
A protagonist writing in a diary is so common, but you have your own unique style. In fact, it is my first time reading a fanfic which is using Kakaotalk or , what you call, kakaotalk-themed story. I liked the idea very much. 
In fact, I think that it will perfectly fit a Korean drama's scenario- with some changes. Like seriously... imagine it; I would certainly be in^^

 

Plot: 
I have many points in this section, so let me list them.
  1. I think you focus on your writing style more than the plot. The events weren't put on the spotlight, I felt as if I am just reading a kakaotalk messages between the characters and a page of Jihye's diary. That's all! I could hardly find an event that was fully described in details. Therefore, adding more events than the main one will be great and more attactive.
  2. I understand that you are making your story as series of episodes, but I think it will be much better to have a main theme for it. For example, you want to show that even though older siblings are a ''pain in the '' sometimes, still they are a gift. I mean...it would be better to follow a certain plot for the whole story- a plot that contains an introduction~rising actions~~falling actions~end. And you can have this arrangment in every episode- which you already do.
  3. Till now~ I didn't see any real development in the plot; please show us where this story is going to. 
  4. Your dialogues are GREAT. I think they typically show us the chatracters' main traits, which is one of their roles out there. I am talking about the kakaotalk messages. They are refreshing and humorous; I like them very much. Therefore, I guess you can use them cleverly in developing your story plot. That's a great point actually as I think that attractive conversations lead to an attractive atory, so keep that in mind.
That's it for the plot line~

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar:
  I didn't see many typos over there. Your grammer is very good. The words you use match very well with your story features, and I like that^^ 
  Here I found this but don't really know in which chapter~ It doesn't mean their not~( you wrote it that way but it should be like this>> it doesn't mean they are not). I am sure that this was just a typo~
  Another thing about using the dots~ I know that they must be used in this way. For example>>> I know him...he is Mr.Kim. ( but you are using only two dots within the sentence). However, if it is the end of a sentence, then use it like this>>> I know him... . He is amazing!
  And if you use it in a dialogue when sb cut other's speech, then use it in this way>>> ''I know him...-''.
I've learnt those tips recently, and I've followed them and believed that they are right.

Characterization: 
  Finally I reached to the section where I can complain about the characters' number. They are too many to recognize. I really couldn't handle remembering who is who. I understand that they are the main point in the story- as they are the sourse of the ''chaos'' in the house according to Jihye- but still...I find it a weak point here. If you put only three- or max. four- oppas with double bother, that would be totally better in my opinion. 
  And another thing, the characters are not improving; are they all static? You need to add slight change on their features. You need to make us follow them thinking,''Wow... he wasn't like this before.'' ''She seems to be accepting their bother better now.'' And I think that this depends on the plot line development in the first place.
  Jihye...show us more about her. All what I know now is that she is almost always annoyed of her brothers, she likes to eat very much, and she is strong enough to beat her brothers and those university girls. 
  Where are their parents? You said that they left them alone, but you didn't explain much about it. Don't leave the readers curious about things, unless hiding them is part of the plot.
  BTW, I find Jihye's twin( Jung Kook?) and V( I think it is Theyang or maybe not^^) the most attractive characters, but they are all adorable, in general.

Chapter Titles: 
Well, they are just brilliant~ They are really attractive, fitted, and accurate. This sum it all up^^ Great job!

Flow: 
I've mentioned many things in the plot section that are related to this. You are going fast with few events and short chapters. I think if you fixed the plot, then the flow will get better, too.

Writing Style (format + your style):
For the format, the font size and color are so good, but I hoped if you distinguished between the words in the diary and Jihye's narration by using two different fonts or colors. That would totally make it perfect and more pleasing for readers.

For the style of writing, I like it. But I have a suggestion...what if you write the events which happen with Jihye through her narration and putting the diary words between brackets.
What I mean is this:
I scolded him for not bringing me the ice cream I asked for, but he ignored me and walked into his room quietly.
((I hate him when he does it; I am his only dongsaeng. I am the only girl in this house, but they don't care...-))

Hope I explained my point well. I like the way you write your story in, but this is just my opinion for another way, which I find to be clearer.

Notes:
I really had great time reading your fanfic; it is really unique. I think that some changes will make it even much better. As I mentioned above, I think this may become a great fluffy kdrama for spring's time. It is really nice, so just go on writing it. Sorry if I seemed harsh or something; I've just read your story and write these notes depending on my personal opinion and my experience. Keep going~ you are great^^

P.S. I found out that you've opened an ''idea box'' to receive requests from your followers to complete your story, but you are origionally excellent in creating ideas, so you don't need it.
However, if you are only doing it as a kind of ''follower servise'', that is to please them, so keep on doing what you like.
Hope you all the best; I've subscribed your story so that I would notice any updates~ You got a new follower^^