Username: choops

Story Title (&link): Novo Amor

Main Characters (+pairings): Chanyeol, Lee Mina (OC), EXO

Genre(s): angst, romance,

Current Length (No. of Chapters):4 (ongoing)

Rated?: No.

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl

Note: ---

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title; 5/5

I enjoy seeing stories with foreign titles, as weird as that may be. But I think especially keeping the theme of that flowing throughout is great! I think the title is a cute thing, adding on to the romance side of the whole theme. It's wonderful! "New Love" (i was sure novo meant new, but i had to translate to confirm this). It's precious, I tell you. But why did you choose the title, I'm wondering? [And what language because when translating... It says Portugese. Is it-?]

Poster/Background;  3.5/5

The poster is beautiful and filled with the concept of "these two are the focus". You've got our OC not looking down and looking in to the distance, and she doesn't look troubled; you've got Chanyeol walking in what looks like his school uniform and he looks longing. Though that is not probably the general interpretation of this, I just think it's beautiful and full of the whole "novo amor" concept I've been speaking of. And the colors (though I hate yellow with a passion) is great, I feel like even without my despise for the sunny color, the yellow draws me away from their faces and the title and sticks out too much.

Description & Foreword;  9/10

   I think that the description, all filled with just the basic character summary, is wonderful. Though you stated it was based from TFIOS, I still like this. Chanyeol loved another who died from cancer and Mina was dying from it, wondering and questioning it all. I think that's a good description, though I generally like to rant on the character descriptions so early on. ^^

Foreword:
     The quote is precious, as are all quotes from John Green. And I'm stuck between whether or not to love the fact you're playing up this TFIOS-based story or not... I don't know why... I just- some part of me thinks you need to vie your own way in to this story-based theme and not just quote John and his stories.

______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦______________

Creativity/Originality;  5/5

    Though I really, really doubted what was to come of this... I have to say that it is also just as beautiful as the poster that "tries" to represent it. ^^ I love how it flows, I love how it speaks the truth of cancer and how she is so honest to admit it and the flaws; I haven't gotten to read TFIOS, but I bet that you are striving on your own way from the interp from TFIOS. It's great!

Plot;  18/20

  I'm four chapters in, stuck waiting, and I'm sure I have a firm grasp on what this is all about. I love the idea behind this and the incorporation altogether of the TFIOS book relating to the story. I still question why the title is in Spanish/Portugese/whatever lang. that is [google ]..?

  I just, overall, adore this story so far and the little twists and peaks we see of the cancer patient, the boy who lost his love, the oppa and his man, and so on. The characters are cute and I feel that the fact you play with the two main people the most is the best choice because the minor characters really only need few lines and parts present. I just... love it!
 

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   9/15

I couldn't find much, if not any, I think. The thing that bothered by (and I mentioned below) was the double spacing. But I must add this, too: when finishing a sentence, use a proper sentence ender such as a period, exclamation point, question mark, dash, etc. You can use a comma if you are going to continue the sentence or you put who said it behind it. So please, make sure to review your work and take all those commas out of the dialogue parts. ^^
 

Characterization;   12/15

I have partial mixed feelings and then again, I also feel like I have none.
Let's start with Lee Mina, the fierce, determined and stubborn 19 y/o who has cancer. She is stubborn as an ox (which I see a lot in good stories, which is weird), and she thinks she knows the every-possible-outcome for her condition. And just as well as she gets something good, it's taken from her. I think that's a typical move for plotline on this character, but then again... it's like life. I do enjoy her sass and how she doesn't just openly accept people - and yet she does with Chanyeol. Even though we are told it was with much hesitation, the vibe showed mixed feelings for Mina (to accept a friend or not). You know?

Park Chanyeol, the (coincidentally) 19 y/o boy who volunteered at a hospital because his girlfriend died from cancer. He is loud, he is blunt, and he thinks he can save lives by telling people they have more life to live... even when it truly isn't that long. Though I thought for a moment he was the worst off for "overused", it hit me. Chanyeol's character is deeper than we see, and I actually enjoy him more than Mina. Chanyeol is blinded by his ambitions to save lives by doing what he couldn't do for his love. And it haunts him and wrecks him and I terribly love it! And even though his other personality traits are ones we often see a little too much with Chanyeol characters, it's okay. He's the overwhelming sunshine and Mina is the rain; both bring life, but without the other, there's no rainbow. You know?

Minseok & Luhan: Minseok is the usual older brother figure, except gay (kinda saw that coming, but oh well) and Luhan is so... hit me in the face cute - as I call it now - that I'm just like "whatever, they fit and work well", so there you go. Minseok has a right to push Chanyeol away, saying he can't havea say in her treatment. I liked the fact that it is the truth and he has to hit him in the face with reality to knock him to his senses.

 

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  5/5
I adore how the titles of the chapters go along with the title of this story!

Flow;  7.5/10

I think, in a way, there could be more detail added, but as I see it now - I think the first four chapters are just bringing it up to show you the here and now. Then again, I'm still lacking detail and maybe some extra scene effort for the overall picture. I guess that this story will go on for quite a while (I'm hoping) that way we can see the friendship progression, the love interest(s), and everything else. Otherwise, I do enjoy the flow because in my eyes it feels like a short story, which right now it is.

Writing Style (format + your style);  9/10

For the formatting, I don't like the double spaced lines between each paragraph and/or line spoken. Though with the dialogue, the lines are less apart, but I still like the general typing methods when it comes to spaces in between and format. Otherwise, I do like it!

Plus, you're writing is so easy to read and not stuck on anything! You can claim your medal now. *^*

Extra & Notes; (+10)
  I love this, the incorporation of John Green and TFIOS, the quotes, the characterization-- great job! <3

Total Score; ♡

93!

  Novo Amor is precious.