Review by ;; DefinitionofRandom

Username:
SSZE_A501

Characters in story:
Kim Donghyun, No Minwoo, Jo Youngmin, Jo Kwangmin, Shim Hyunseong, Lee Jeongmin, Jo Chaeryung – fictional, Jaeyoung - fictional

Story title:
To The Boy I Love

Story theme:
Sad Romance

Story link:

CLICK HERE


 

TITLE: 4/5
I love your title. It gives off a, “must read!” vibe. The title is very interesting and eye-catching. It is, however, cliché. So I give it a 4 out of 5. Still not bad~

POSTER/TRAILER: 7/10
Since there wasn’t a poster, I’ll focus on the trailer instead okay? Now the trailer gave off a sad, romantic feel to it. This is good since this was the mood your fic is targeting. The background song, clips and the flow itself was good! The music matched the mood very well, the clips were appropriate and the way you presented the story wasn’t confusing. However, the whole trailer itself is a giveaway. When someone watches a trailer, they want the viewer to be curious of the story NOT to know the whole story itself. This is why I gave you an average score. You should’ve kept the trailer subtle and descreet. But can I just say, I loved the way you presented the characters!

DESCRIPTION: 1/5
Before you send your dogs after me, I’d like to explain why I gave you a 1 out of 5. I understand that Plagiarizing is a big no-no and of course, every writer wouldn’t want someone to copy off their works. And It’s alright that you gave much emphasis regarding this too HOWEVER, you should’ve put an ACTUAL DESCRIPTION in the description section. Just because your trailer explained everything doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t write anything on this part.

FOREWORD: 5/5
Description, rating, genre, plot, characters… yup it’s all here. That’s plus points for you! And the Epilogue was good too; it set the mood of the story and gave the readers an idea of what to expect. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. So an epilogue is good for forewords too… good job!

CHARACTERIZATION: 12/15
When an author doesn’t put a character map or character description anywhere, it means that they are leaving it up to the reader to figure out what the characters’ personalities are. And I think youdid a good job on this one! The personalities of each character suited their physical appearance well. I loved Youngmin’s rebellious, bad- attitude and Minwoo’s innocent image! Also, you did a good job explaining and highlighting the characters throughout the whole story. Good job!

FORMAT: 8/10
I don’t know what format you’re going in to but honey, it isn’t appealing and it’s quite messy. If you’re going for the ‘formal type’ of format, then you should’ve only used a single space be it a new sentence, paragraph or line. I know you’re going for a new style of formatting but what matters most is whether the reader would understand your story or not. Another is, when changing a scene it would be preferable if you used a line/divider instead. A small, single plus sign in a corner isn’t a very good indicator that you would be chasing the scene. This is just me though.

FLOW/DETAIL: 6/10

Okay I had a hard time deciding how much points I’ll give you for this one. Let’s start with the flow first. I like how you placed many scenes in one chapter because it made your story more visual. However, the sudden switch is confusing. And at times I felt like some events happened way too fast and way too unexpected. For the details, I had to dock off points because your fic is too detailed. TOO DETAILED. Okay in a story, details are good. Brilliant, actually. But you can’t write details excessively. You get what I mean? How do I put this… you must make the readers actually think more about the story, not spoon feed it to them. Plus it makes your sentences look long, messed up and redundant. It’s alright to leave out a few things once in a while.

CREATIVITY/PLOT/ORIGINALITY: 8/10
Hmm… huh? I personally am a fan of so I was interested in your story. I gave you an eight because honestly, obviously and evidently, the ‘love triangle’ thing is very cliché nowadays. And your plot was kinda predictable. Nevertheless, you got me hanging every now and then! Good jobeeuuu~

SPELLING/GRAMMAR/VOCABULARY: 20/30
For a writer, her grammar is EVERYTHING so I’m gonna be a little strict on this section. Judging from the way you write… English isn’t your first language? Right? Okay here are a few pointers. First, your use of Past Tense. Some of your basic and common mistake was the use of the suffix ‘-ed’ and the form of words like, "WEREN'T" instead of "WASN'T", "SUPPOSED" instead of “SUPPOSE”. Next is the Plural form of the words. And lastly, your sentences were a bit redundant. I hope you find a way to fix this. Other than that, I think you did a good job! Your vocabulary range is quite big, met a few words I haven’t encountered before and your sentences aren’t too long or too short. Yay!

OVERALL: 71/100

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
I had fun reading your story. The plot was good and I love the whole idea of the love triangle/square thingy. I’m sorry if I was a little harsh but I only did it so you can improve your manner of writing. In the future, I’d love to get another Review Request from you. Thank you! 

Sorry for the late Review >< <3