“Weekend’s HERE! SCHOOL’S OVER!” Some rowdy guy shoved his shoulder into me as he ran forward crazily, without even throwing an apologetic glance back at me.

I’m used to it. I’m a “ghost” in this school, always been one, cause my name stood out. Too much.

Michael Tan. Lynette Lim. Carissa Goh. Shin Yoon Mi.

Yeah, see the odd-one-out? That Korean name.

School may be over for just one weekend for these students. But for me, it’s officially over. Permanently over – in Singapore. It’s already 29 days since my parents died. I was a zombie the first few weeks. But now, at least I interacted with my counsellor.

I pushed open the door, and that familiar cold air rushed past me.

“Yoon Mi! Welcome!” Miss See, our pretty counsellor stood up and hugged me tightly. It has always been a tradition for her – to hug her students. I lifted my arms awkwardly and placed it on her back.

“Give me a bright big smile!” She flashed me her own and I managed what I think could pass for a smile.

Without further ado, I took a seat in her mint-green Lover’s chair. Not that there was anyone beside me, I just like having more space. Miss See tidied up her desk and came over to me.

On her desk, there were a few pictures. One of them looked really old, of a really young Miss See, about 18 years old, and a 7 year old girl. On the picture, “Sisters” were written in permanent marker.

“Last day of school, huh?” Miss See gave me a crooked smile as she lifted up her tea cup.

“Yeah. Leaving this horrid place is probably the best thing about migrating. But I’ll miss you, Miss See.”

“Me too. How are you coping? Doing well right? I used to see you every day, but you’ve gotten so much better you just need to see me twice a week now! It’s our last session… Pretty sad.” Miss See’s eyes were full of genuine concern.

“Miss See? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure Yoon Mi. Whatever for you.”

“How was it like, to lose your sister?”

Piang! The tea cup dropped onto the table. Tea was dripping from the edge of the table and through Miss See’s clinched fist.

“Sorry!” She pulled out a few napkins and dabbed on herself and the table, clearing up the mess.

“How… How did you know?” She questioned me.

I shrugged.

“You always talk about your family. You boyfriend, your mother, your father, your cousin. But never any siblings. On your desk, there’s a picture of you and a girl who looks extremely like you. It was labelled sisters. But other than that old picture, there is no other pictures of your sister.”

“Wow. How did you piece all these information together?”

“Logic I guess. I’ve always liked figuring out stuff.”

“You should try out to be a detective in the future.” Miss See said.

I knew she was trying to avoid the question, thus I kept quiet, hinting for her to go on.

Miss See pursed her lips, I could almost hear the whirring of her brain deciding whether to tell me or not.

“My sister… she was just 8 when she died. She was an accident my parents had. I always took care of her. One day, she wanted to go to the beach, so I went with her. I left her alone for a while as I went to my car to take out the radio. When I went back to the beach. She was gone. That’s the last I saw of her. Missing. Dead. Alive or not. I have absolutely no idea… It was horrid for me. Having to cope losing my sister. And it is also because of me. I’ve experienced the pain. The loneliness. That’s why I decided to become a counsellor, for people like you and me. Yoon Mi, the pain never goes away. The guilt never does. But you have to know, it may not be exactly your fault. What happened that afternoon for me… It still haunts me in my sleep. But one can never control the destiny of others. It’s up to God…” Miss See trailed off, staring at me and boring a hole deep into my skull.

“Thanks Miss See. For sharing that.” I blinked furiously, willing myself not to cry.

*

I kicked at all the boxes around my houses. My house looked empty. The furnitures were still here, but it was the small things that were missing. The photographs, the posters. I lifted the boxes and went outside.

“Guess this is it, huh?” Lily’s eyes were watery.

I placed the boxes down and went to hug her.

“I’ll miss you.” She said.

“Me too.”

“Don’t forget me okay? When you got yourself a Korean boyfriend, tell me ASAP!” She joked.

“As if.” I scoffed, making sure my house door is locked securely.

“Bye!” I bent over the railings and shouted as loud as I could to the neighbourhood.

“BYE SINGAPORE!” I shouted again.

“YOON MI AH! I’LL MISS YOU!” Lily shouted over the railings too.

I gave her one last hug and a peck on the cheek before carrying the boxes and wheeling my luggage off.

“Uncle, to Changi Airport Terminal 2 please.” I slammed the taxi door shut.

The car drove towards the Airport, away from my house.

This will probably be the last time I see my house. I looked back as my apartment got smaller and smaller.

Then, a sharp turn made me lose sight of my house – Forever.

Bye Singapore.

*

Hello Korea.