L.Joe won't be appearing in this story as much anymore (maybe not at all, I'm not sure, he is a stubborn character and just comes and goes whenever he pleases lol) so you can read my other fic that features him if you like. It's a romantic comedy, it's a lot more bright and light-hearted than this and I think the theme suits him better ^^ As for the ending, you will have to see how the story proceeds before Minwoo returns. I already have two alternate endings in my mind, they are both perfect either way Btw, as for L.Joe having bipolar disorder it is much more of a taboo stigma than it is in the West. In Korea (and the same of most part of Asia) , you're just a damaged person. A disgrace to your family. It's kind of sad but it's true :/

Two months later

Dear Diary,

I guess I should begin with how sorry I am about not writing to you for a whole month? Well, I apologise. Jeongmin has been like glue and wouldn't let me have a minute to myself. He doesn't think it's good for me to be left alone too much. Truth be told, I'm kind of glad that he's always around, even though I do make it out like I am annoyed at his presence.

Tomorrow he's helping me rearrange the room. He thinks that, and I quote, "This room of yours has too many ghosts of your past lingering behind." I guess his words are true. Lots of things in my room tend to remind me of Minwoo - I can't bring myself to call him my 'ex.' I find it disrespectful after all we've shared and been through together.

In the corner of the room is his backpack with his textbooks spilling out of it, from all the days he had stayed over and when we had done our homework together. His black denim jacket - the one that he claimed had been his favourite, the one that he had given to me as a gift before we got together - was hanging on the closet's knob. The framed picture of him was sitting on my bookshelf and the glow in the dark stickers were still stuck on the ceiling, right above where my bed is.

Whenever I close my eyes, the darkness would engulf me and Minwoo would always inevitably come back.

"Why are you with me? You could be with anyone else but you're with me. There's nothing special about me."

"I don't want anybody else," he said without hesitation. "You don't understand that I gave you my heart the moment I saw you. Whenever I'm with you I feel things that I haven't felt before and I say things that I don't understand."

I am still broken, no matter how much I try to deny it and try to be strong on the outside; I know that I am still clinging hard to my past. I know that it will get better one day, I just hope that the day would hurry up.

Yoorin blinked at what she had written and shut the book with a soft snap. She stuffed her diary into her bag and held onto the swing's chains. She kicked the ground, swinging back and forth as she stared at sunset. She lifted her head up slightly and closed her eyes, liking the last gasp of heat on her face just as it disappeared into the horizon.

She jolted up with a shock when she felt a palm laid flat on her back. The person pushed her softly, making the swing go back and forth. For a split second, she genuinely believed that Minwoo had come back. It didn't matter that it was close to impossible, right then her mind just could not register it. She twisted around and could practically feel her heart sink when her eyes landed on L.Joe.

Then it came again - the emptiness. She felt as if someone had just punched her right through the heart.

"Don't look so disappointed," L.Joe gave out a small smile. He walked over and sat on the swing next to her, he was facing East while she was facing West. But every time the swing moved, he could see her perfectly.

It's been a long time since she's seen him.Yoorin awoke from her trance when he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She managed a smile when her eyes landed on him. "You changed your hair again."

L.Joe touched his silver head of hair and chuckled, "Yeah, I told you I wasn't going to stick to brown for long."

"You have no one else to blame when you go bald." Yoorin said, staring at her feet, kicking the ground softly to keep the swing moving.

The atmosphere around them got heavier and heavier as the silent minutes ticked by. The weight of it all pressed down on their chests, making it hard to breathe. Finally, L.Joe decided to just say what they were both thinking.

"So you know my secret..."

Yoorin's eyes went wide before she nodded slowly, staring straight ahead when she could feel his intense gaze on her.

"Were you surprised?"

Yoorin hesitated before she shook her head and looked down.

"Does this affect the way you see me?"

Yoorin violent shook her head and lifted her head, looking at him dead in the eyes. "Of course not. You're still you and I still love you."

"But not in the same sense of you loving Minwoo..." He let out a sobbing breath, his knuckles going white where he was clenching the swing's chains too hard. "Even when he's gone you still would not look at me. Why?"

Yoorin took in a shaky breath, "Byunghun, I'm sor-"

"Don't."

Yoorin hung her head low and closed her eyes, counting her breaths, hoping that it would calm down her heart.