For crinchan
~Infinite Secret Santa 2013~ *Santas Revealed!*My Heart Drops
For: crinchan
Pair: Myungyeol
Prompt: Myungsoo is crushing on a girl idol.
3123 words
There are occasionally times when Sungyeol really wants to strangle his best friend. To pick Myungsoo up by the shirt collar and throttle him, or at least furiously shake him up and down a few times until the insensitive turd gets a few necessary IQ points knocked into him. Sometimes Sungyeol stares at him like he can't believe Myungsoo is really that dumb, and Myungsoo would look briefly hurt —eyebrows knitting and nose crinkling— and Sungyeol wants to curse his dumb face, dumb hair, dumb everything.
Myungsoo is so stupid, as a matter of fact, Sungyeol thinks he can write up a whole list of all the reasons why and he could fill up all one hundred pages of his spiral-bound notebook, and that still wouldn't be enough.
And nothing is ever enough, because even though Myungsoo likes Sungyeol and clings to him all the time and hugs him all the time and his hair when he thinks Sungyeol's asleep in the car all the goddamn time, he doesn't like Sungyeol. So, Sungyeol wonders if maybe he, himself, is the stupid one.
That's the only explanation he can think of as to why he feels so nervous lately whenever Myungsoo hangs onto his arm and why his hands get really gross and sweaty whenever Myungsoo brushes his nose against the back of his neck and why at times he can't fall asleep at night —even though he really should because sleep is rare enough as it is— and just stares at the dozing motionless lump in the bed on the other side of the room that is Myungsoo.
Sungyeol would try to talk to Woohyun about this, but the last time he attempted to do just that, Woohyun had only rolled his eyes and told him to get the out of his room please because he was in the middle of something important, but Sungyeol knows he was probably looking up his own name on Naver, again, and nothing's more embarrassing than being caught mid-search online about yourself.
Therefore, Sungyeol has to live in the dark and analyze each and every one of Myungsoo's actions alone since he can't talk about it with his best friend because Myungsoo is his best friend.
Then, one day, as if it couldn't possibly get any worse than it already is and Sungyeol's stomach couldn't possibly tie itself into more untangleable knots, it does.
It's one of those scarce events where most of them actually get a bit of free time while one or two of the members have individual schedules —Sunggyu is away guesting on a variety show and Dongwoo and Hoya are out promoting Infinite H. Meanwhile, Sungjong has bullied Woohyun into taking him out for mint chocolate chip ice cream at a vendor down the street, which makes Sungyeol wonder why the maknae allows himself to be pushed around so much in front of the camera when really, Sungjong threatens them all equally at home, save for his precious Howon-hyung and Myungsoo.
Hence, Sungyeol is left at the dorm alone with Myungsoo, and he doesn't really mind because he hardly gets chances like this to freely spend time with Myungsoo, all without Woohyun breathing down his neck and scruntizing his every move with narrowed eyes, which is annoying as hell because Woohyun really likes to play leader whenever Sunggyu isn't around.
The two of them are watching an old episode of Weekly Idol that Infinite guested on a while back —Myungsoo sprawled out on the lone couch they have and Sungyeol sitting on the ground, leaning against it, just so if Myungsoo felt the sudden urge to pet Sungyeol's hair, it'd be right there and he'd completely okay with it.
And he does, at first, the tips of his fingers playing absentmindedly with the ends of Sungyeol's brown strands and Sungyeol really likes that ticklish feeling, but only when it's Myungsoo. He has this theory all thought up in his head that Myungsoo only enjoys touching other people's hair so often because his own hair texture is fried and dry from his insistence on constantly straightening it.
Sungyeol chuckles when Sunggyu gets mocked yet again for his lackluster vocal skills —even though that in itself isn't all that funny, it's Sunggyu's reaction later after the filming that is— and tilts his head back into Myungsoo's hand and gets a glimpse of the other boy way more invested in what's displaying on the screen of his phone than what's making Sungyeol laugh. And Sungyeol already knows what's up with Myungsoo without asking because this has been going on for a couple of weeks now —every once in a while he'd find Myungsoo more detached than usual from whatever is happening and instead, eyes locked on the little device in his hand like it's the most interesting thing in the world.
The whole thing is stupidly stupid, and Sungyeol doesn't care if he keeps sounding redundant because it is. Myungsoo develops harmless crushes easily, and they're just that, harmless crushes, but recently, his demeanor during those phases has changed slightly, and even though the other members see no difference, Sungyeol does. Sungyeol nitpicks all the little details as to why Myungsoo's latest crush is different, and maybe not just a crush.
The whole thing is dumb, in Sungyeol's book, because Myungsoo is incredibly naïve, in fact, if Sungjong and himself had never been last minute additions to the group, Myungsoo would've debuted perfectly fine —if not better— as the youngest since his mentality really is that of a middle-schooler's.
But, that doesn't explain why Myungsoo's suddenly not acting so childish, not so easily pleased, or why sometimes his eyes glaze over and he smiles like a at the ceiling during the night when he's supposed to unconscious.
Sungyeol picks up these symptoms without fail, it's not even that hard to, and the realization crushes him, although he'd already berated himself many times about Myungsoo. The situation is hopeless and utterly gone, because Myungsoo is serious about this girl, because Myungsoo actually really likes this girl. And Sungyeol knows this in his gut because he used to stay up at night as well, smiling at the ceiling like a , and if that wasn't any indication that he was lovesick in the head, then he doesn't know what is.
He tries to block out those maddening thoughts that circle around in his head, when it's late and the lights are out, and instead of seeing that motionless lump on the other side of the room that is Myungsoo, he catches the brief glimpse of a dim cell phone screen and the other boy shifting his weight around every few minutes, while ducking down underneath his blankets, careful not to wake Sungyeol, the light sleeper.
Sungyeol blocks all those images out, including the ones where more often than not, Myungsoo would suddenly stop toying with Sungyeol's long fingers to take a quick peek at his vibrating phone or stop sniffing Sungyeol's shoulder to answer the new messages, and there are way too many messages, there should be a limit on the number of those ing messages, though what would be better is if Sunggyu took away Myungsoo's phone, but then Sungyeol feels bad for thinking those thoughts when his best friend genuinely likes that someone and internally beats himself over the head with a pan about it.
See, there really isn't much Sungyeol can do except ignore it. Ignore the horrible sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach and ignore the dreadfully unpleasant feeling of wallowing in self pity, because like drowning in resentment is going to do him any good. Especially since he's doing so well already; unaffected and all.
So, when Sungyeol glances up at Myungsoo to see him distracted, again, he pretends he doesn't really care and just faces the TV like he hasn't seen anything at all, and he pretends it doesn't hurt at all when Myungsoo retracts the hand Sungyeol's hair to reply to the message —who needs both hands to type out a sentence anyways?
Myungsoo looks surprised beyond words when Sungyeol suddenly gets up from his spot on the floor, storms out and locks himself in their shared bedroom where Myungsoo would be pounding at later that night because Sungyeol won't let him in, not even to sleep.
There are ocassionally times when Myungsoo really doesn't understand his best friend, even more so than usual, and Myungsoo wants to ask Sungyeol why, but he knows he'd only get a flippant or lofty answer in return, along with a half-hearted insult. And right now —while he's jiggling the abused doorknob and asking Sungyeol in his nicest voice possible if he could please just open the door, so he can at least get his pajamas if Sungyeol is going to kick him out of his own room— Myungsoo really wants to know what's been bothering Sungyeol for the past week or so.
But Sungyeol just mouths off at Myungsoo and tells him he can borrow Sunggyu's leopard-print boxers if he needs something to wear that badly, and Sunggyu coincidentally passes by during this, hearing Sungyeol's thinly-veiled barb at Sunggyu's taste in underwear and forces Sungyeol to unlock the door to let Myungsoo in.
He does so, sullen and petulant, and Myungsoo prods at Sungyeol's turned back in question, but Sungyeol just snorts and deflects all of Myungsoo's attempts at conversation. Myungsoo crinkles his nose, because he doesn't think he said anything wrong or did anything to set off Sungyeol like this, but whenever Sungyeol's mad, he refuses to acknowledge Myungsoo's presence and in the end, Myungsoo is always the one profusedly apologizing until Sungyeol relents.
"Sungyeol?" Myungsoo places a light hand on the other's shoulder, however, Sungyeol just moves forward to flop onto his messy bed, mumbling something incoherent that sounds strangely close to get out, so Myungsoo does, eyebrows furrowed and slightly confused. Maybe Sungyeol will calm down from whatever happened by tomorrow, so Myungsoo goes ahead and takes Sungyeol's advice to heart and puts on one of Sunggyu's animal-patterned boxers, and thinks to himself that the underwear really doesn't suit him at all.
Sungyeol decides he really wants to kill Myungsoo outright instead of choking him to death. Then, right afterwards, maybe he'll commit suicide or something, so he can be with Myungsoo in the afterlife where she isn't there. And these thoughts are simply ridiculous and absurd and he needs to hit himself over the head, or something.
He wouldn't want to murder Myungsoo that badly, if Myungsoo hadn't come up to him in the middle of Man In Love during the concert and ing kissed him on the cheek. What the hell is wrong with you and what the are you doing were this close to falling from his mouth, but he had held it in and just smiled like he usually did on stage, a little too big and a little too fake.
Myungsoo obviously doesn't think anything was wrong with his little display, if that was what the fans wanted, and probably thought nothing of it again, and that makes Sungyeol unbearably miserable and blue because he's been obsessing over it all day long. The left side of his face burns from the touch of Myungsoo's lips.
"Jieun says we were cute," Myungsoo grins at his best friend, and Sungyeol wants to hurl not only his americano at Myungsoo, but his whole coffee machine at that moron's thoughtless head and scream that he doesn't give two s about what his precious Jieun says. It's childish of him, and mean, too, because Jieun is actually really nice to him and Sungyeol repays her kindness by secretly wishing she'd fall off the face of earth.
Sungyeol musters up a feeble "That's great." and Myungsoo must hear how apathetic and blasé Sungyeol sounds for once, since his smile fades and he looks back down at his phone with a frown, "I don't know what's been up with you lately."
And Sungyeol hates himself for falling in love with such a dickhead. What he hates most is how he let his feelings spiral out of control and affect his goddamn work, of all things, if he'd only avoided Myungsoo like the plague when Infinite first debuted, just like Hoya, then he wouldn't have to always stand so close to him on stage or pretend they're ing gay or something for the fans because they're not. At least,Myungsoo isn't.
He can't think of anything to say that isn't offensive, so he purses his lips together so tight until they resemble a thin line, and Myungsoo wonders if he's sick and worriedly puts a palm to his forehead and that makes feel sick.
"I'm fine."
And he spends some more time with Woohyun and throws a few hearts with Woohyun —even though that hardly makes him feel better— and acts all friendly with Woohyun, until Sunggyu's eyes squint to even tinier slits because he can't fathom why Sungyeol is being so bipolar and moody.
It's not until later when night falls, and the managers have taken them out in celebration for their win with their latest song, do Sungyeol and Myungsoo make up, and Myungsoo's way of making up is completely over the line, in Sungyeol's opinion, but now that he thinks of it, it's all his own fault.
For some reason, Myungsoo's already faced even though it takes a lot for him to get wasted so fast, and Sungyeol examines the contents of Myungsoo's glass critically, as if he has a clue what the other was drinking in the first place, while Myungsoo thumps his head down on the table top like the drunk idiot he is, and yet, he keeps fumbling to pry open more bottles present. Sungyeol swoops in to save his stupid and sweeps all the alcohol out of range of his greedy hands, and Myungsoo raises a head and blinks, slurring all the while, "What'd you do that for?"
Sungyeol is about to shoot off some witty remark, but then again, Myungsoo is too far gone to even understand the words coming out of his own mouth, so Sungyeol saves it because he doesn't want to go around wasting all the smart comments stored in his artillery.
But, clearly Myungsoo doesn't like his reply —or lack thereof— so he pushes himself uncomfortably close to Sungyeol on the leather sheets and pats Sungyeol on the cheek a few times. Sungyeol would laugh at the way Myungsoo is acting like such a child, if the proximity between their faces didn't keep shrinking and if Sungyeol remembers to breathe and if Myungsoo can just stop edging so goddamn close until he's pressed up against Sungyeol like he wants to suffocate him.
It's dark in the private room they've reserved, and no one is paying the two of them any attention, not even the managers, because Sunggyu drunk off his and attempting to seduce Woohyun is all anyone in the room is watching. Sungyeol thinks it'd be only too easy to take advantage of Myungsoo in his current state, if only every molecule in his brain isn't blaring no and don't and you're an awful friend.
But when has he really listened to his conscience anyways, Sungyeol reasons, he can deal with Myungsoo's wrath tomorrow —if the poor guy even remembers, and if he does, Sungyeol will just claim they were both intoxicated— and he whispers, " it," over the background noise of his heart beating wildly, before closing the last centimeters between Myungsoo's mouth and his.
The kiss is hardly anything Sungyeol lays at night awake imagining, he had envisioned it go a lot smoother than this, because Myungsoo's lips are soft, but clumsy and the whole thing is kind of messy, but Sungyeol somehow manages to pull Myungsoo into his lap and slip his arms around Myungsoo's waist to tug him closer, while Myungsoo threads his fingers through Sungyeol's hair like it actually means something.
Sungyeol pulls away with a gasp, partly for air and partly horrified at what he'd just done, and Myungsoo takes the opportunity to kiss him again, sliding a tongue into Sungyeol's parted mouth, and Sungyeol thinks that he doesn't even care if anyone sees either of them anymore —but when did he ever?— because Myungsoo is sticking his tongue down Sungyeol's throat and the only other time that's happened is in Sungyeol's sick imagination.
His cold fingers accidentally graze the warm skin that gets exposed from Myungsoo's shirt riding up, and Myungsoo shudders against him, and , that's the iest thing ever and Sungyeol doesn't want this moment to ever end. But it does, and all too soon, when Sunggyu slips off the table and crashes into Dongwoo, whose laughter ends abruptly from having the wind knocked out of him, and the managers decide to call it a night, so Sungyeol shoves Myungsoo off in a hurry, Myungsoo groaning when all Sungyeol succeeds in doing is making his face meet the crook of Sungyeol's neck, where he nuzzles at and promptly tries to fall asleep.
Later, in the van, Sungyeol can still hear Woohyun bursting into laughter and the teasing comments about what a pretty picture Myungsoo and him make. The thought expands inside him, making him feel unreasonably giddy —perhaps it's all the alcohol running through his blood— until he feels like a yellow balloon full of helium floating away against the backdrop of a blue sky.
But then, Myungsoo has to go and puncture his temporary happiness when he mutters her name into Sungyeol's shoulder, where he's clinging onto Sungyeol's arm and invading the personal space Sungyeol never really liked sacrificing, but does for Myungsoo, because everyone's willing to give up that space when it comes to that one person.
The buzz from all the servings of those fruity cocktails and glasses of soju die down and Sungyeol is left in the backseat of the car, squished between a sleeping Myungsoo and a drooling Sunggyu, nursing his freshly broken heart, all with said heart-breaker snuggling like a kitten into his side without a care in the world.
There are ocassionally times when Sungyeol wants to strangle his best friend, but he doubts he could ever actually do it because he doesn't know what he'd do if Myungsoo really did leave him. He thinks it's okay this way, as long as he can continue to be by this insensitive moron's side, Sungyeol doesn't really care, but later, when he's sober and clearheaded, he'll be penciling in a new reason why Myungsoo is so stupid and how he wants to curse his dumb face, dumb hair, dumb everything.
AN: Other than the lame title, I'm kinda happy with this fic. Hope you are, too!
StarlightSpirit: I am so freaking eurgh right now. Myungpabo! Gah I had my hopes up but you let me down with the bittersweet ending T.T... but it's still perfect anyway :3
Comment from prompter:
Whoever you are, I just wanna thank you a lot cause this fic is just amazing *-* I love it, my Sungyeol is just adorable and Myungsoo is as stupid as I imagined him when I thought about the prompt^^ the others of Infinite are great, too, but Myungyeol is just... I don't even know what to say, I just love it. I swear I'm gonna find you and hug you for this ♥
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