For Woofhyun

Couple: Hojong

Prompt: Prompt: "I'm the option you shouldn't have chosen." not too much angst please!

Sungjong was the maknae of the gang. He loved the attention everybody was giving him. He loved that in every decision to be done, his opinion was also considered. He loved that they always protect him in every way possible. He loved it like that; the perks of being the youngest. But being the maknae had also its downfalls. They baby him too much. There are things he wasn't allowed to do and such. He didn't like that part of being the maknae. Whenever they want to hangout, the place would always be the malls, theme parks, and everywhere that would not scar their baby's innocence. He was treated like a toddler most of the times, chained to rules, don't do this, don't do that. And the worst part for Sungjong was being the utility man of the group. Sure, they baby him most of the time but every time there were errands to be done, it was always SUNGJONG who does it. The others would give their stupid excuses of doing something more important and would always, almost always, suggest Sungjong instead. And who was he to say no to his loving hyungs? He sometimes wonder why he was still hanging out with them.

The thing that was keeping Sungjong still sane and continue to be in the gang was his really big crush to one of his hyungs. This particular hyung was sort of different from the others, the good kind of different. Sungjong craved his attention. He wouldn't mind if the other hyungs would ignore him for as long as his favorite hyung still talks to him. He wouldn't mind if his other hyungs would treat him like a child as long as his favorite hyung sees him otherwise.

Whenever he spoke with him, it was always light and comfortable. Not that it was awkward with the other hyungs; the one with his favorite hyung was just perfect for his definition of comfortable conversation. He could voice out his complaints about Sunggyu-hyung's bossiness, how he always see Sungjong as a utility man, about Dongwoo-hyung's loudness, Woohyun-hyung's greasiness, Sungyeol-hyung's childishness, and L-hyung's weirdness that sometime creeps him out.

Hoya told him some time ago that he didn't have to be shy and also voice out his complaints about him. That what made Sungjong fall for him even more. He didn't have to act around Hoya-hyung. He was not collared on the neck when he was with him. But of course, he didn't have any complaints about his hyung; he would instead shower him with compliments, how he is the most sane hyung he had, how he was so good as a total performer, how he keeps the gang still in control whenever Sunggyu fails as the supposed leader, how he treats Sungjong as an already grown up man, and the list continues on and on.

He didn't expect his fantasy to crash and reality to check on him too soon though.

It was a cold evening when his mother asked him to buy her something from the convenient store nearby. It was only a block away from his home and wouldn't even take five minutes to reach. The streets were not busy with only a few people passing by. Sungjong closed his thick coat and adjusted his beanie before placing his mitten-enclosed hands in the side pockets to keep it warm. He walked cautiously, aware that he could slip anytime if he was careless. It would be a shame to drop his on the freezing pavement.

The road was lit with glowing lampposts standing erect on the side walk. Some stores already started putting up red socks, hats, Santa Claus, reindeers, and gifts. He could hear somewhere Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree"

He sang along but stopped not even midway through the song. On the corner of the block he was to turn to, he didn't expect to see Hoya and Sungyeol with bodies too close for comfort. He slowled down and hid behind a column. He was curious of what was happening. He can't hear them so he settled with watching. He saw Hoya grabbing Sungyeol's shoulder and closed the distance between their heads. He turned away, afraid of what he might see. But it was clear as crystal what Hoya, his favorite Hoya-hyung, was about to do.

He slumpily walked the remaining distance to the store. Silent tears were falling down his face. The song he just heard earlier was from the store but he couldn't even continue to enjoy the joyful song. The quiet hum of the movements inside didn't help his feeling either. He could literally hear his heart breaking into pieces. He wiped his tears away and went on with the groceries.

As he was at the counter, paying, the doors chimed, signaling someone's entry. He looked up from his wallet and his jaw dropped on what he saw. It was Hoya...and Sungyeol following behind. Hoya wrapped an arm around the latter's shoulders as soon as they near each other. They were laughing about something. He could not tear his eyes away from them. He was definitely a masochist, he could confirm that just now.

The voice of the lady cashier brought him out of his reverie. He paid and went out as discretely as he went in.

------------------------

It was the 1st of December. They were bound to Lotte World to celebrate the whole day for the group's bonding and enjoy the weekend. It was his idea in the first place and they gladly agreed, but right now, he didn't have the heart to join them. It had been a week after the incident yet he was still nursing his broken heart, and seeing the reason behind it was just pure torture. They were not even in a relationship to begin with, but the pain was still the same. For him it hurt even more because he felt betrayed. He thought that he and Hoya were different, that what the relationship he had with him was different. But maybe he put hopes up too high; he now felt the very painful fall.

He tried calling Sunggyu and was diverted to voice mail. He already made up a bunch of excuses days before. He tried calling the other hyungs except Hoya and Sungyeol but the same thing happened. He then decided that he would just stick with Myungsoo the whole time.

He was wearing his coat (No, not the same coat he wore before. The incident replaying on his mind was more than enough; he didn't need any physical reminder of it.) and all the apparel needed to keep himself warm. Snow had started falling six days ago. Thank heavens, the snow was just light. The roads were still capable for the passing vehicles. It was really cold and he still had to walk his way to the bus stop. It would surely be a long ride to Lotte World.

Sungjong failed to notice a guy walking side by side with him. He was so caught up on his thoughts that he shrieked when his coat's hood was placed on his head and hands cupped his now pale cheeks. He almost freaked out when he saw that the guy was HOYA FUQN HYUNG.

"Hyung! You scared me to death!" He said through quivering lips. The temperature was droping centigrade by centigrade as time passed. His broken heart forgotten for a while.

"Mianhe, Jongie. Here." Hoya took out a knitted scarf from his messenger bag and wrapped it around Sungjong's neck. He carefully tied a knot, secured it tightly and slightly choked the younger.

"Hyung~!"

The noise from the busy street was not able to die down the hearty laugh that came out from Hoya's mouth. Sungjong knew that he was just being teased and he loved it when he had to act cute and pout so the other would coo at him, saying sorry in the process.

But this time, he remembered he should be doing those things no more. Hoya already had Sungyeol. Sungjong, a mere younger friend, didn't have any right to act as if they had some special kind of relationship.

So Sungjong decided to stop. He pulled a stoic face and pried the hands off of his shoulders. He turned and continued to walk. Hoya didn't even go after him. He walked even faster, eyes stinging from holding back the tears threatening to fall.

---------------------

He arrived at their rendezvous. He tried looking around for the others but it seemed that he was the first to arrive. He decided to look for something to eat from a store. The park had already put up Christmas decos around. He could already smell Christmas coming anytime soon. He spotted a boutique. It's a sweets shop filled with all the sorts of diabetes (sugaaaar) wrapped in pink celophanes printed with hello kitty. He looked for his all time favorite pepero.

He then went out with a pepero between his teeth as he struggled with holding the box of chocolate stick snack and his phone. He almost dropped the latter when it rang. It showed a call from Sunggyu.

"Yeoboseyo? Hyung."

"Where are you? We're here."

"I'm on my way, hyung. Just grabbed some snacks."

"Okay."

He arrived not long after the call. He ran, called their attention and waved his hands up in the air, to meet them.

"Sorry for keeping you wait, hyung." He said, kind of breathless from the run.

"So... Where should we start?"

-----

They spent half of the day with all the rides available. The Atlantis which was voice-draining, the Giant Loop which made them quite dizzy, the Conquistador, Drunken Basket and more.

They entered the restaurant in the hotel and filled their growling stomachs with the mouth-watering (and expen$ive) meal after their adventures. After the heavy meal, they chose the less adventurous rides and had the ice rink as the last stop.

----

Sungjong was struggling with his skating shoes so Sungyeol offered a helping hand. He was close to Sungyeol and Myungsoo since they are the youngest in the group. Sungjong was about to refuse but seeing his current situation, he indeed needed the help. He smiled softly and Sungyeol kneeled on one knee and started threading the lace and strap of the shoes. While the other was busy, Sungjong was building up courage to speak up. He faked a cough to gain Sungyeol's attention. The other looked up knowing what it meant and raised a brow.

"Uhh.. H-Hyung.. A-are you and.. and.. H-hoya-hyung.. Y-you.. You know.." He motioned his index fingers and brought them together. "t-together?" He blushed, tainting his cheeks some color after being so pale from the cold weather.

Sungyeol hummed as if he was thinking and gave him a sweet smile. It was all Sungjong got as answer. Sungyeol stood up, brushed his jeans, and held a hand in front of Sungjong. The maknae grasped it and stood. They walked side by side to the rink as the others were already on the ice, having fun. Sungyeol got in first and skated his way to a group of girls, probably getting to know them. He could see Dongwoo and Woohyun together; the dino, as usual, was being loud while laughing to Woohyun's one-handed heart-throwing as the other hand was holding Dongwoo's. Not far from the two were the Kim Brothers. Sunggyu's feet seemed to be rooted on the ice because he was not moving. Myungsoo was motioning for Sunggyu to move but was ignored. Myungsoo seemed annoyed for being ignored so he moved away and joined Sungyeol. He could not spot Hoya on the rink.

After just checking the others, he decided to join them. As precautionary measures, he had a death grip on the railings as he moved. He started off slow then eventually gained speed. It was still a bit slow, after all it had been a year since he last set foot on an ice skating rink. He was startled when someone grabbed his hand and linked them together. He was struggling with his balance as they started to move in circles  together with  most of the crowd.

Sungjong looked down at his and Hoya's threaded fingers. They fitted so perfectly. He observed Hoya's face as the cold air whipped past his face, his hair blown in the process. He also looked perfect. He could see themselves slightly mirrored on the glass pane surrounding the rink. They also look good together.

The sudden loss of heat on his hand made him look at Hoya's retreating figure. He failed to hear what Hoya was saying before he left him. He saw him moving towards Sungyeol.

Sungjong could clearly see Sungyeol saying something and made the other laugh. Hoya later leaned a bit closer to say something in return. He then hugged him. The other just patted Hoya's back. Sungyeol who was facing his direction saw him watching and pointed him as Hoya also turned to him. They waved and Sungyeol mouthed something Sungjong didn't understand.

The whole interaction was killing him and didn't even notice that tears were already falling. He waved back lazily and faked a smile but failed. His shoulders were jerking slightly as he began to sob and turned away. He moved swiftly to the opposite side of the rink to get away and escape.

As he was nearing the exit, Hoya grabbed his hand and turned to face him.

"Jongie why are you crying?" Worry was etched on Hoya's face, just as clear as it was leaked out of his voice.

"Because you're being too good to me that I misunderstood everything for something which is not, which is impossible, hyung. You like Sungyeol-hyung but it seems that he only sees you as nothing but a hyung. So now you're playing with me instead. I was just an option for you, hyung!" Sungjong started to louder his voice, catching some of the skaters attention to the commotion.

"Just an option to pass the time, just a freaking option to play with! Damn it, hyung! I'm not an option. I don't even want to be one. It's utterly ridiculous that I just became what I don't want to be." He cried harder, crying out his kept emotions, not giving a damn about the world. He dropped on his knees, his hands covered his face.

"I'm the option you shouldn't have chosen, hyung. You're so cruel." He stood and started to move to the exit. He could see his other hyungs moving towards them. He could also see that the crowd had froze in place watching the scene as if it was filmed for a drama. He could only care less.

He passed the exit and started removing the skates. Hoya was now fast to follow and was now walking towards him. Confusion, hurt, sadness, worry, mixed emotions were written all over his face.

"Jongie.. Listen to me first. I'm.. I'm sorry if I hurt you." Hoya sounded like pleading for life. He placed a hand on Sungjong's shoulder but was shrugged off. He repeated the action.

"I didn't mean to hu-"

This time Sungjong threw a hand and accidentally hit Hoya's head with the skate shoes he was holding, making him fall head first on the hard white tiled floor.

As soon as Sungjong felt himself hit Hoya, he snapped his head and saw Hoya's body fall on the floor with a loud thud. He dropped the shoes and freaked out.

"O-OHMYGOD! Hyung! Hyung!" He started to scream for help and the guy from the counter nearby rushed to them.

"What happened to him?!"

"W-We need medics! God, hyung wake up!" He kneeled on the floor and slightly shook Hoya's arm.

Sunggyu and the rest of the gang also rushed out of the rink and saw the limp body on the floor. Dongwoo, who was rational enough, grabbed his phone and called for an ambulance. Sungyeol, Myungsoo, Woohyun, and Sunggyu helped along with the staffs in blocking out the nosy strangers.

A small pool of blood started forming on the floor around Hoya's head.

Sungjong who was crying solely for a broken heart not long ago, was now crying furiously for a whole different reason. He just hit Hoya on the head! It was an accident. He was mad and hurt. He didn't mean it. What if something happens to his hyung? He will never forgive himself for what he had done. He was shaking so bad, his knees wobbled and gave in. He almost fell if not for Myungsoo's and Woohyun's fast reflexes. They held him up.

The medical staffs came with a stretcher. The ambulance was already waiting outside. Hoya was wheeled to the ambulance and Sunggyu and Sungjong joined him inside; the vehicle's siren and started to move.

---

"I-I didn't.. m-mean to hit.. h-him but I.. d-did. I-I'm.. r-really.. s-sorry." Sungjong said between sobs. Sungyeol was rubbing circles on his back to calm him down. Myungsoo was on his other side, elbows on both knees and fingers under his chin. Sunggyu, Woohyun and Dongwoo was sitting on the bench opposite them. They were also fidgeting, nervous and worried for the wellness of their friend.

"He'll be okay, Jongie. He's strong." Sungyeol said. "He's going to be strong for us, strong especially for you."

The last phrase perked up everyone's attention. They were waiting for Sungyeol to continue. Even Sungjong stopped crying. It was clear that what he heard was not from his imagination since he had the same reaction as the others.

Sungyeol stopped rubbing his back and brought his hands on his chest. He smiled sadly.

"Heard me right. You know, he had been talking about confessing to you for the past weeks. He chose to talk to me coz he thinks I can help him." Sungyeol laughed slightly but it looked like he just puffed air out of his nose.

"I saw you look so mournful when he hugged me earlier. I told him what I saw and that maybe he doesn't have to be so worried of rejection basing from your reaction. He wants to be with you."

Sungyeol looked so serious. Sungjong looked around and saw everyone's attention on him.

"I even mouthed that hyung (Hoya) likes you but you turned away. That's why Hoya-hyung ran after you."

"Soooo. Care to tell us what happened?" Sunggyu said. The others hummed and nodded in agreement.

Sungjong told them everything, from what he saw that evening on his way to the convenience store until the latest.

"Don't blame yourself from what happened, Jongie." Woohyun hugged him tightly.

"Uh-huh. Hoya won't like it if you do. So stop crying, okay?" Dongwoo hugged him from Woohyun's back. He was rubbing his face on the other's soft coat; he was enjoying himself despite the situation.

"Eheem! I think that doctor's looking for us." Myungsoo, who spoke for the first time that evening, pointed at the doctor looking down on a folder on his hand.

Sunggyu squinted his eyes on him before standing up. He motioned with his two fingers towards his eyes, as if he was going to poke them, and then pointed it to Myungsoo's. Myungsoo just shrugged, smiled sheepishly to himself and pulled his phone out. Sungyeol saw him and slightly punched him on the shoulders. A nurse saw them playing. "If you want to punch each other, do it outside."

Sungjong was still sitting on the bench. He was afraid of what the doctor might have to say. His mind was full of what ifs and regrets. He started crying again. He totally blamed himself for being such a drama queen. If he had controlled his emotions better, then he wouldn't be sitting now in the hospital. He wished it was rather him rushed to emergency instead  of Hoya.

He tried looking at the doctor while his hyungs were listening. He saw the doctor shaking his head and only heard the words 'hit hard' and 'sorry'. The faces his hyungs harbored didn't look good either and confirmed his suspicion. He ran away from them to cry for his hyung, and to cry for himself.

-------------------------

It was a clear morning. The air was still cold even with the sun shining brightly. The surrounding looked so gloomy from the still whiteness of the snow. Sungjong was smelling the flowers in his hands before putting them on the tomb in front of him. He started to tear up a bit but immediately wiped it away.

"Hyung. Tonight's going to be Christmas eve. It.." He breathed in deeply, air was ghosting on his mouth and nose from the cold. "It would be great if you are still with us. We could light the fireworks together and also welcome the new year together. We could do a lot of things together." He sighed, holding back tears. "The gang misses you but not as much as I do. I wish I had said these stuffs before you left." He smiled bitterly. "Saranghae, hyung."

He silently walked and left.

"Here. Drink it while it's still warm."

"Thanks."

"I know you missed him. We do too. Your parents, as well. He's now somewhere better so cheer up and smile."

"Thank you, hyung." Sungjong hugged him tightly. "iloveyou." He whispered.

Sungjong's giggles brought life to the silent cemetery, as he was lifted up and twirled around by his Hoya-hyung.

Somewhere, he could hear a song being played and he could gladly sing along with it til end.

"Coz I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all i want for Christmas is you"

A/N: that hyung jongie visited at the cemetery was his older brother who died and blah blah blah... urghh~ i dont know if this is worth your time, but thank you for reading? :3 all the other stories are really really good, my confidence is draining out. i tried though.ㅋㅋㅋ

StarlightSpirit: I as convinced at the end that it would be Hoya's tomb! Then the end caught me off guard. Dammit! This was so great, I love Hojong! <3 Great work!