|| Chapter Twenty Six ||

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November 28, 2013

Before I had said that I had trouble making friends due to the fact that we moved so much and there was a time where I did give up on making friends.

Until I came to this one place.

This place was different. I don’t want to name the place because I know in due time it’ll probably change so why bother? Anyway, like I said this place was different because we had stayed here longer than a year.

3 years to be exact. In may not be much but for me it was a record, so safe to say I made some friends because I thought that we’d finally settle down in that little town (what an idiot I was).

It was hard finding people that accepted who I was because normally people liked to stay away from me. I was too quiet, my eyes were creeping them out (I can’t help it can I?), and the fact that I was gay didn’t help much. I didn’t want to hang out with girls anyway, they annoy me and they talk too much.

The first friend I ever made was Kim Sunggyu. He was a year higher than me but I think we bonded the first time he asked me what’s it like to see the world with big eyes and I laughed so hard and we became friends. He had some other friends with him too. Lee Howon and Jang Dongwoo. Howon was nice, but seemed quiet just like me then he opened his mouth and out came pouring his sarcasm, it made me particularly happy when I knew that him and Dongwoo were dating (they were cute together). Dongwoo was always so hyper and seemed to be bouncing around and skipping at random times—but he was caring. If he had leftovers from his lunch he’d push it all on my plate, if I needed a jacket he’d gladly give me his. Safe to say Howon wasn’t too happy with the way his boyfriend was treating me but we resolved it easily and we became the best of friends.

I still got bullied a lot. But I didn’t mind, I’ve been bullied a lot of times but what made this particular time in my life tolerable was that I had friends beside me. The lazy Sunggyu, the sarcastic Howon, and the caring Dongwoo—all of them helped me through the bullies or the bad days.

For the first time in my whole life I felt like I belonged.

But I guess the happiness didn’t last long because soon I enough I found myself falling in love.

Urgh it’s such a horrible feeling. You get this sick ache in your heart that’s both painful and glorious at the same time. You feel insecure yet you feel like you can do anything—it was awful. Even just remembering the feeling now makes me shudder in disgust.

I talked to Sunggyu about it a lot (though I didn’t mention the name) and he gave me a lot of good advice. He comforted me and he was like a big brother to me. Give it time, sort out your feelings, make sure it’s love or just a puppy crush—all those I took them in and I contemplated and thought about it. But in the end it was useless. I knew it was useless because it was love. Even now as I write this I still know it was love.

Too bad it ended in heartbreak. Sad. I can’t even get mad for what he did.

But I guess that’s how all first loves start out.

I just didn’t expect to lose my friends too.

D.O

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|| Lost ||

A/N: Sobs Midterms week killed me, I'm sorry I think I'm back? Hopefully I can update more, I'll try my best ;; Whispers also 80 upvotes TTUTT <3 I'm feeling the love~

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