♪ To You by MikiApple
♪♫ Midnight Sonata Café ♫♪ | Reviews and Recs [CLOSED for requests & READ CH. 37]Super Junior || Kyuhyun & OC
angst | romance
Chaptered | Completed
Reviewed up to Chapter 11
Reviewed by Chunkee__
by JYJ
Title (4/5):
When I first saw the title, I immediately thought of Tenn Top's 'To You'. Just sayin'. >.<
Okay. As soon as I saw the title, I was hooked. It was short and easy to memorize so that is one of your advantage. I immediately thought of letters when I read it. It gave me an angsty feel to your story. Another good thing about your title was that, it was relevant to your story.
Also, if I wanted to have some romantic kind of genre, I will definitely read this.
Appearance (3/5):
I really love how it looked antique and it kinda reminded of 'Dear John' by Nicholas Sparks. The mailbox and the letters were there. The girl was there and is in a country side setting and lastly, Kyuhyun was there. So it was definitely perfect. Nothing more, nothing less.
You better read this and do not skip this: You need to put a space in between your dialogues so it doesn't look like it was cramped in one sentence. I had to look at the quotations marks before moving onto the next dialogue.
Foreword/Description (7/10):
I don't know if the picture was too big or it was just right for the foreword. I seriously don't know. It caught my attention and you can actually feel an angsty setting into the story. What I also love in your foreword is that, you gave only a smal piece of information but it gave a lot of questions. That is the reason why I actually clicked the next chapter right away.
Plot/Storyline (15/20):
Your story wasn't the most original piece I have ever read but the way you delivered the emotions and how you placed a reality kind of feel into it made me feel that it was happening in some parts of the world. I also love how Kyuhyun decided to think for a while before replying back to Minyoung and how their interactions were awkward but you gave them time to open up with each other.
For the down side, I don't like the ending. It crashed my whole world. It didn't give me an answer to my question. I was kinda hoping that you'll inform us on how Minyoung survived the disease. Also, at the end of chapter ten, I didn't seem to get as to why Kyuhyun said 'yes' to Minyoung. It just gave me a tiny dot of curiosity. And yes, the ending lacked information as to how Minyoung survived.
Though, the chapters were short (though I love short chapters) I love the sense of reality when I was reading it. It wasn't lacking anything (except for the last part). Bravo!
Character Development (20/30):
To be honest with you, I have never been a fan of reading Super Junior fics here in AFF. So I had to adjust first before reading and also, I have been reviewing a lot of EXO fics so I had to readjust.
While I was reading, I kinda felt relieved. I don't know why. I didn't have to correct the character's personality. It gave me a sense of reality they weren't perfect. They had their up's and down's. They had their own distinct qualities and perks. It was perfectly balanced.
Use of Language / Mechanics (15/20):
In chapter one:
Even though he didn’t have that many things, the apartment was full of boxes which still weren’t unpacked.
Even though he didn't have that many things, the apartment was full of boxes which were still unpacked
but he didn’t got slower
but he didn't get slower
“You should be aware of your words or else I could make something to embarrass you in front of that girl who’s always looking your way.”, the older one threatened with an wry smile and nodded discretely into the direction of the mentioned girl.
"You should be aware of your words or else I could do something that could embarrass you in front of that girl who's always looking your way," the older one threathened with a wry smile and nodded discretly into the direction of the mentioned girl.
It chapter two, you had written the words 'noone' and 'inpolite'. Please change them into 'no one' and 'impolite'. If you could find them though. Hehe.
I really love the way you write. It was simple and easy to read. You managed to let out all the emotions in your writing and it felt real. The way you described the surroundings was a plus for me because I could truly imagine it. Though, those mistakes irked me.
Flow (10/10):
I love the pace. It was really breath taking to read the transition between the moments of the characters and it didn't look like it was too fast or too slow.
Reader’s View / Enjoyment:
I have always liked reading short stories because it saves time and it wasn't easy to miss when you stopped in the middle of the chapter. Though, I was kinda reading it as a Kyuhyun x Sooyoung kind of thing. I ship them along with Changmin of TVXQ and Siwon so it wasn't really that hard to adjust that much. >.<. Also, what I love about it is that you made it sweet and reality-like so that one is a plus.
Final Score: (74/100)
Additional Comments:
You have officially turned me into Kyuhyun as my bias-wrecker. Just wow. Haha. Okay. I don't have anything much to say since I have stated everything up there. I haven't been into Super Junior that much lately because TVXQ caught my attention ever since. Haha. Moving on, I love your writing style but you just need to improve more on the character's appearance. I was just imagining them in any way I want. But, you, as the author, should make the readers envision the characters the way you want to be. You get the point? I hope so. Haha. Anyhow, if you think I have done a great job in reviewing the story, how about upvoting the shop to show your support? Fighting!
Review Credit to Chunkee__ from ♪♫ Midnight Sonata Café ♫♪
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