Title:
The title was fairly relative to the story. I personally thought the title was great. It hints the major part of the story and I thought it was ironic with the description/forward. In my opinion, it represents Taeyang’s greatest desire—to be with Dara—as well as his greatest fear—to lose Dara forever—all through one event, all in one certain clothing – the wedding dress. Iono, that’s what I thought when I was to interpret the title. I’m not sure if that was what you were trying to portray, haha. It may or may not attract readers right on the spot, but all in all, I thought the title was great.
 

Appearance:
I guess I will comment on the overall appearance of the one-shot since you don’t necessarily have anything visual per say. I honestly don’t feel like the change in font to from Arial(?) to Impact is necessary. It does make the foreward/description look a bit messier than it needs to be. Perhaps you could maintain the same font (I think it’s Arial…right?). I also added a couple words to make it grammatically correct. And...this is just my opinion, but I think you should italicize "ex-best friend" and not a whole new level. I just feel like that's where the emphasis should go. As for the “How would he react to that.”, I don’t know if it’s because it is the last part of your description, but changing that part to the font Impact is fine…I just wouldn’t italicize there. So all in all, it would look something like this:

She was his.

And he was hers.

All of a sudden,

She was no longer his anymore.

She was now with his ex-best friend.

And they were taking it to a whole new level.

How would he react to that?

Again, this is just my suggestion. I just thought it was a bit cleaner if this was the case, but it’s totally fine if you would like to keep it the way it is :)

As for the appearance for the rest of the story, I thought it was fine. The change in font for the invitation was great. I thought it added to the texture of the story, aha.

Foreward/Description:
Okay, so I already talked about the appearance of the description. Now I will talk about the logistics and mechanics behind it. I thought it was great. Haha. Sorry for being vague, but really. It gave the readers hints as to what would happen in the story, but it also introduces irony as the ending isn’t revealed, obviously. I thought it was a great mechanism of deceit. Definitely got me as I thought I was going into something cliche when I first started out, but when I reached the end, I was actually caught off guard, haha. The only thing that bugged me are the capitalizations. I do feel like it’s unnecessary. As I have pointed out in the appearance section, I just don’t think the capitalizations were necessary.
 

Plot/Storyline:
Wow. Okay. So all in all, the storyline was pretty good, in my opinion. You had me completely baffled towards the end and you definitely did a good job leading the readers with lots of questions. Though the snippet of the story may not be completely original as there are multiple stories out there where the girl gets taken away by the guy’s best friend, the overall plotline was awesome. You successfully led the reader to think that the wedding was REALLY happening. That Dara was getting married to JiYong. And what’s worse was that Taeyang had to play the piano at their wedding. That really . The fact that the Dara had no idea what Taeyang was feeling was just frustrating and heartbreaking. And when Taeyang passed out in the middle of the song, I was like damn…and then…it was a freaking DREAM! Gah, all that heartbreaking moments for nothing! You really had me there! I felt like a fool haha. Like I said in the title, as he realized that he was only dreaming, it made him value his greatest desires and recognize his greatest fear. I’m glad that it had a happy ending and Dara was still with him, aha. Overall, great job with this.
 

Character Development:
Though the plot was great, I feel like the character development was lacking just a little bit. A little more development might be necessary. Like, how did it lead to Jiyong getting the better end of the string? How did the relationship between Taeyang and Jiyong occur—going from best friends to stealing your best friend’s girlfriend? I feel like that is where the plot is a bit lacking. I understand that it is a one-shot, but a little more detail won’t hurt. I guess I will start with Taeyang.

From reading the story, we, the readers, would assume that that it’s been a while since the two broke up. And the story IS written mostly in Taeyang’s POV so the perspective is limited. Taeyang is still suffering from the past relationship as he still yearns for Dara, still thinking about her. He receives the invitation, and the wedding is on the day he and Dara got together. First of all, that’s already a pang in the heart for many readers. I felt my heart slightly disturbed at this point, aha. You definitely showed his love, or rather now his obsession as he takes the ring everywhere. And now he’s even memorizing the invitation, the one event that hurts him so. And when things just couldn’t get worst, of course, there’s always something. As we move on to the wedding, he’s in a grieving state. The state of resentment and regret. I would like to say you could add a little detail to portray what happened between Dara and Taeyang that they ended up breaking up. However, I could also see the value in not revealing that and letting the reader’s imagination take care of that. Either way, I think it could work to your favor. And then we find out that it’s a freaking dream. Here, we see Taeyang happy with Dara, happy that he still has her. And it is implied that he will keep it that way, which is awesome.

Now we move on to Dara. Dara seems like the carefree, happy-go-lucky girl. Though there isn’t too much about her, from the little dialogue you provided, we could get the sense that she moved on…obviously. Haha. She’s getting married! I feel like we could see a split personality in Dara. Either she genuinely feels that things are good between her and Taeyang that she asks her ex-boyfriend for a huge favor such as playing the piano, or she is manipulative and messed up to play with his emotions like that. I thought it was a good question amongst us readers and I like how you included it. I just thought that when the wedding came along and Taeyang was thinking back as to what happened between them, you could have included a little something. I have already said this, huh? Haha. I keep repeating myself. Sorry about that. Even though the POV is under Taeyang’s, I feel like you could have included just a little bit more than “they were only going out for three weeks”. This part was a bit unrealistic in my opinion so there must have been something BIG that Dara liked about Jiyong to be able to marry someone after 3 weeks. Maybe Taeyang knew Jiyong to be really rich? Or maybe they were always fighting for the same girl? Childhood friends? Something that Dara obviously fell for to say yes to marrying after 3 weeks of dating? And then towards the end, we see Dara’s carefree attitude again as she guesses what Taeyang might have dreamed about, easily saying something like walking down the aisle as if it’s no big deal. I did like this sense of irony in that to her, she’s thinking happy thoughts with Taeyang while Taeyang just had the worst nightmare of his life.

And finally, we reach Jiyong. You’ve only revealed so little about this guy. I understand that he’s not a HUGE part of this, but he is the man that the lead girl is getting married to. I just felt like you could have included a little more regarding how Taeyang and Jiyong became best friends. Maybe the status, if that makes a difference? How did they even become best friends? A little more detail would have been nice. Maybe a talk between Taeyang and Jiyong before he plays the piano or before the start of the wedding? That would cause some tension between the two and certain things could be revealed? I don’t know. You’ve done great with deceiving and creatively writing this story, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have trouble incorporating this somehow ^^

Overall, I thought the character development was great. Consider the little things I have mentioned if you’d like, but obviously this is just a review and I’m just providing the constructive criticisms :)

Use of Language / Mechanics:
I couldn’t really find any flaws with your English grammar other than what I already mentioned in the foreward/description and appearance sections. Perhaps a little more descriptive languages would be nice as I feel like it would add to your story. But I do like your blunt way of writing as well. It does keep the readers interested. Plus it’s short and sweet. I also feel like it goes along with Taeyang’s POV. The bluntness, I mean. If it was from Dara’s POV, I would expect a bit more descriptive language as girls tend to be a bit more creative than guys (not being stereotypical…or trying not to be x.x) but since it is from a guy’s perspective, the bluntness in writing matches so points for you there as well ^^
 

Flow:
The flow was on par. Things seemed a bit rushed. I feel like if you added a bit more details to the bride and groom, it would have added a lot more suspense. And as I have said earlier, maybe add a little segment where Jiyong and Taeyang talk for a brief moment before the wedding starts. I mean, they were friends at one point. I would think that no matter how severed the friendship got, there should be a talk to either alleviate the tension or heighten the rage. Usually a common thing that happens in most cases where the guy takes the girl away from another guy. Iono, it’s just my opinion. I’m not asking you to add to the story or change your story. Just my suggestion is all :) Might as well add more wood to the fire, right? Haha. Yeah, just little things here and there may have enhanced the flow but overall, it was pretty good.

Reader's View/Enjoyment:
I really liked it. I’m still a bit shaken by the ending. All that just to become a dream. Gah. My emotions were just crushed and stepped on. Gosh. LOL jk. It was great. I was happy to see that Dara was still with Taeyang and they were still happy as ever. I did like the irony in that what Dara thought he had dreamt and what Taeyang had actually dreamt were similar yet on the complete opposite sides of the spectrum of emotions. You had a great idea going and you successfully wrapped it up. Also, you made a cliché plot into an expected ending. Seriously did not see that coming. Haha.
 

Additional Comments:
I don’t have much else to say…x.x It was a great little piece. I really liked it. I do ship Daragon though more than Darayang LOL but that’s my opinion hahaha. But this was a real short emotional rollercoaster, haha. Great job. Umm, I really hope this review helped you. You asked for it not to be graded, thus I didn’t. I tried to be as clear as possible and hopefully my suggestions, my criticisms, as well as my compliments reached you. Please remember to comment after you have seen the review and CREDIT the shop on your story’s description/forward. If you feel that I had done a great job, please upvote this shop. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to read your story! It was great :)

Review Credit to momodays09 from ♪♫ Midnight Sonata Café ♫♪