2004 - First Grade

 

“Look, it’s Dodo!”

 

“Ew, I don’t want to see his face!”

 

“His eyes are so freaking creepy, don’t you think?”

 

“Come on Dodo, can’t you speak?”

 

“All you ever do is read! L-a-m-e.”

 

“How can somebody be such a loser? Dodo the loser!”

 

2005 - Second Grade

 

“Did you hear? Apparently Dodo has a crush on Minjun!”

 

“But they’re both guys!”

 

“Creepy, right? I feel so bad for Minjun!”

 

“Get away from me! Weirdo!”

 

“Oh my god! Dodo is crying! What a wimp!”

 

“Poor Minjun.”

 

“You’re disgusting!”

 

“I’m sorry Mr.Do, but your son is not normal. It’d be better for everyone if he moved to another school.”

 

2006 - Third Grade

 

Kyungsoo stared up at the tall iron gate in front of him. He sighed as he tightened his grip on his pororo backpack, the only thing that could ease his anxiety. His father’s large, rough hands were clamped on top of his shoulders as if to offer him some sort of comfort.

 

“It’ll be different,” his father said. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes inwardly. He very much doubted it. Nothing ever changed. He would always be Dodo, the infamous weirdo that everybody hated.

 

“I’m serious, Soo,” his father crouched down and smiled warmly at his son. “You’re going to make a lot of friends here. I promise.”

 

“But what if I don’t?”

 

His father blinked in surprise. “This school is special. You’re not going to be an outcast anymore. You’ll fit in perfectly. You don’t need to scared, alright?”

 

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to retort but decided against it. He faced the gate once more and leapt back when it suddenly swung open, revealing a middle aged man.

 

“You must be Kyungsoo!” He exclaimed as he came over and beamed down at the small boy. “How are you, sweetie?”

 

Kyungsoo yelped and immediately cowered behind his father’s back. His father laughed and pulled Kyungsoo forward, squeezing his shoulders slightly.

 

“F-f-fine,” Kyungsoo stammered, sweating nervously, “thank you.”

 

“Oh, he’s adorable! I can already tell he’s going to one of the top students here. Everyone is so unmotivated I worry sometimes. I hope your son can set a good example for his fellow peers.”

 

“Kyungsoo here is my pride,” his father smiled widely. “I’ve been telling him all about this place. He’s very excited about making friends.”

 

“Well then, let’s not keep him away any longer. Come on in.”

 

Kyungsoo looked back, staring desperately at his father with wide eyes. His father merely shook his head and led his son into the large building. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened even more at the sheer size of the hall and its extravagant decorations.

 

“All students here are required to live in the dormitory,” the principal said, “once we assign you a roommate, you are to stay with him until you graduate unless unsolvable problems come up. I must warn you that roommate changes are extremely rare.”

 

“Did you hear that Soo?” his father whispered excitedly, “you’re getting a roommate!”

 

Kyungsoo smiled wryly but was already panicking inside. What if his roommate hated him? Would he call Kyungsoo Dodo too? Would he find him really annoying? Kyungsoo was bad with people. Would it be very obvious?

 

“Mr. Do, if you could follow me and finish up on some paperworks. Ms.Min here will lead you to your dorm, Kyungsoo. You’ll get to say bye to your father later on so go ahead and get to know your roommate for now, alright?”

 

Kyungsoo nodded and stared as the principal and his father walked away. Ms. Min looked down at him with a warm smile and pat his back.

 

“Don’t look so nervous! You’ll have a lovely time here.”

 

Ms. Min led Kyungsoo down the hallway and to another section of the building. She stopped in front of a large wooden door and knocked. The door slowly opened and a small boy blinked up at the pair.

 

“Jongin! I brought you your new roommate!” Ms. Min exclaimed as she pulled Kyungsoo out from behind her and pushed him into the room. “Help him get adjusted, okay?”

 

Jongin cocked his head and looked at Kyungsoo with a blank expression. Ms. Min nodded at the boys before closing the door, leaving Kyungsoo alone with the boy.

 

“Kyungsoo, right?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo’s eyes remained fixed on the floor as he slowly nodded.

 

“What grade are you in?”

 

“T-third grade.”

 

Suddenly, Jongin broke out into a large grin. “Awesome! I’m in third grade too! You’re so tiny I thought you were younger! It’s not cool to have a younger roommate you know.”

 

Kyungsoo’s head snapped up and he stared at Jongin. Jongin’s grinned widely and he pointed at the shorter’s face.

 

“Wow, your eyes are freaking huge.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he brought up his hand to cover his face. However, Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand and pulled it away, leaving the shorter boy startled.

 

“Aw, come on, don’t do that. They look cute.”

 

Kyungsoo blinked up at Jongin in shock. It was the first time he had ever heard a compliment from someone his own age. Blushing, Kyungsoo slowly dropped his hand.

 

“Thank you,” he said quietly. Jongin nodded before grabbing Kyungsoo’s pororo bag and placing it on top of an empty bed.

 

“No problem. Now, tell me all about yourself.”

 

Kyungsoo promptly shut his mouth and remained silent. Jongin gave Kyungsoo a bewildered look before nodding in understanding.

 

“Shoot! I forgot. Mom told me I should always introduce myself first,” he grinned widely. “My name is Kim Jongin. I’m in third grade, like you. I like candy and power rangers. I started learning how to dance from last year, and I love it so far! My best friends are Taemin and Kwanghee, and they are both complete idiots.”

 

Kyungsoo cocked his head as Jongin pointed at him. “Your turn!”

 

“.....” Kyungsoo gulped before he slowly opened his mouth, “my name is Do Kyungsoo. I-I just moved to this part of the town last week. I like pororo. That’s pretty much it.”

 

“Who are your best friends? Are they idiots like mine? God, I hope not. I’d feel so bad for you.”

 

Kyungsoo dropped his gaze and stared at his nervously fidgeting fingers. “I don’t really have many friends.”

 

Jongin frowned before walking over and clasping his hands on Kyungsoo’s shoulders. Kyungsoo’s head snapped up in surprise and he looked at Jongin with wide eyes.

 

“That’s not true! You’re going to be my friend from now on!”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I always wanted a nice, normal friend. I’m going to protect you! Trust me.”

 

Kyungsoo gawked at Jongin’s beaming face before finally, for the first time in years, his mouth curled into a small smile.

 

“That sounds great.”

 

----------------------------------------

 

“Students, we have a new student today. His name is Do Kyungsoo.”

 

The teacher gestured at a trembling Kyungsoo. The class remained silent as they all stared at him in unison. Jongin, who was sitting in the back, stopped chatting with his friend to join his class in the staring.

 

“You can sit here,” the teacher pointed at an empty seat in the front. Kyungsoo nodded slowly before sitting down, trying to avoid meeting eyes with anyone.

 

The class was over relatively soon, and when the teacher nodded at the students and left, all the kids immediately sprang up and ran over to Kyungsoo.
 

 

 

“Kyungsoo, right?”

 

“Dude, you have like the biggest eyes I have ever seen.

 

“Shut up Tao! You’re scaring him!”

 

“What? I’m speaking the truth! Look at him.”

 

“He looks like a large teddy bear. Can I pinch your cheeks?”

 

“He looks so squishy.”

 

“Cut the crap Yixing.”

 

“How tall are you? You’re like half my height!”

 

Suddenly, a booming voice rang out.

 

“Leave my roommate alone, idiots,” Jongin said as he plopped down beside Kyungsoo and swung his arm around the shorter’s shoulders. “He’s mine.”

 

“What? How come you get to claim him?”

 

“Because I talked to him first.”

 

“Kyungsoo, what do you think?”

 

Kyungsoo gawked and pointed a shaking finger at himself. “Me?”

 

“Yeah you! You don’t want to play with this jerk here, right?”

 

Kyungsoo cast an anxious look in Jongin’s direction, who simply shrugged and smiled back.

 

“Like I said,” Jongin chirped, “mine. Leave him alone.”

 

“Aw, come on. Don’t be so greedy. You can’t keep the new kid all to yourself! That’s not fair!”

 

Jongin glared at the boy in front of him. “He’s going to be a much better friend than you, Taemin.”

 

“Burn!” Another boy laughed, earning glares from both Taemin and Jongin. He frowned and pointed at himself. “What did I do?”

 

“You’re being yourself. That’s the problem,” Jongin retorted before he grabbed Kyungsoo’s wrist and pulled the scared boy up. “Come on Soo! I want to show you the game room. It’s really awesome.”

 

“Soo?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin shrugged and dragged the boy away, ignoring cries of protests from the rest of the class.

 

----------------------------------------

 

“Dude, where are you going?”

 

“I promised Soo that I was going to meet up with him today.”

 

Taemin narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, stomping his foot on the ground in disapproval.

 

“But Thursday’s game room day! You can’t just ditch!”

 

Jongin sighed and looked at his best friend. “I’m sorry Tae, but you know how he is. I’m his only friend. I can’t just leave him alone.”

 

Taemin scoffed. “You changed, Jongin. Kyungsoo’s changing you, and it’s not even for the better.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I thought he was cool at first! But all he does is read and study all day! He never hangs out with anyone other than you, and you actually go along with it. Come on Jongin, if it was anyone else you would’ve thought he was a loser. What makes him any different?”

 

Jongin’s eyes widened in shock. “Taemin! Don’t say that about Kyungsoo! He’s like the best person in this school! You just don’t know him very well.”

 

“I don’t want to get to know him because I know he’s going to be boring. Seriously, snap out of it. You don’t have a crush on him do you?”

 

Jongin remained silent before he dropped his gaze.

 

“Oh my god, you have a crush on Do Kyungsoo?”

 

“Shut up! I don’t want anyone to know.”

 

“Do Kyungsoo’s a loser!”

 

“Be quiet, Taemin. I need to leave.”

 

“Yah, Kim Jongin!”

 

 

 

--------------------------------

 

“Soo!”

 

Kyungsoo turned around and looked at Jongin with a smile. Jongin grinned down at him as he stuck out a hand, trying to gain his breath.

 

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

 

“I was at the library,” Kyungsoo said with a shrug, to which Jongin’s face scrunched up in disgust.

 

“You need to stop going in there. Everyone thinks you’re a nerd. Taemin and Kwanghee have been telling me that they think your lame now.”

 

Kyungsoo blushed furiously before he spun around and stomped away.

 

“Soo? Where are you going?”

 

“Leave the nerd alone, jerk!” Kyungsoo roared.

 

“What did I do?”

 

Kyungsoo looked behind as Jongin gave him a look of bewilderment.

 

“Nothing,” he snapped. He ran to the library - the only place he went to whenever he had a fight with Jongin. It had been about a month since he came here and they had already become inseparable friends. Although he never really got the chance to meet and befriend anyone else, partially due to his own shyness and partially because of Jongin’s protectiveness, he was still content with the way things were. Jongin was his first friend after all, and he was grateful for that. However, that made Jongin’s insentive comments even more hurtful. Kyungsoo knew he really couldn’t blame Jongin as he didn’t tell him about his past bullying experiences, but it didn’t make it any easier for him.

 

Kyungsoo had known that he liked boys since an early age. He had always been on the feminine side, and as he began to grow up he realized that girls didn’t appeal to him as they normally should. While the boys in his town teased and fought with girls, he liked to sit aside with a book, glancing once in a while at his crush - a boy named Minjun. Needless to say the crush didn’t end well, as it eventually got him kicked out of the school. He was still young but that didn’t mean Kyungsoo didn’t know how ‘abnormal’ he was.

 

However, everything at this school was different. Everyone was like him. He didn’t feel like such an outcast anymore. Although he didn’t have many friends, he still felt like he belonged. Like this was his home. And that was enough for Kyungsoo to feel happy.

 

Kyungsoo settled into his favorite armchair with a book, trying to block out Jongin’s snide comment about him being a nerd. Jongin surely didn’t mean anything by saying it, but hearing it come out of his only friend’s mouth was enough to get him pissed off. He sighed and opened his book, deciding that an hour of reading should be enough to get him cooled down.

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

His head snapped up to see Taemin looking down at him with a sly smile. He forced himself to smile back.

 

“Reading again, huh?”

 

Kyungsoo nodded, hoping he would just leave and leave him in peace. Taemin, however, stood still.

 

“Hasn’t Jongin told you? Reading is lame Kyungsoo.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes narrowed and he shook his head.

 

“No, Jongin’s my friend. He doesn’t care.”

 

Taemin chuckled loudly as he leaned against one of the shelves. “Jongin’s my best friend Kyungsoo. Not yours.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Taemin sighed and glared at the short boy in front of him.

 

“I get it. You’re the new kid and Jongin adores you for some ridiculous reason. You’re cute and tiny, so it’s understandable. But Kim Jongin’s my best friend! He’s a cool dude! And if he keeps hanging out with you, he’s not going to be so cool anymore.”

 

Feeling his hand shake, Kyungsoo slowly put down his book as memories of the past flooded back.

 

“He’s my friend too.”

 

“We both know that’s not going to last. He’s only sticking with you because you don’t have anyone else to hang out with.”

 

“That’s not true!”

 

Taemin chuckled. “I’ll prove it to you.”

 

----------------------------

 

“Don’t be silly. Power rangers are obviously better than pororo. It’s not even a competition.”

 

Kyungsoo frowned and shook his head furiously.

 

“Stop being so mean! Pororo is awesome too!”

 

“Come on, you can’t honestly think that.”

 

“Kim Jongin!”

 

Jongin laughed out loud as he grabbed Kyungsoo’s shoulders for support.

 

“You’re hilarious, Soo. God, you’re adorable.”

 

Kyungsoo blushed once again. Over the past month he began to feel more and more uncomfortable around Jongin. It was exactly how he used to feel around Minjun - only now it was much worse. Not to mention that Jongin actually treated him like a decent human being, making it even harder for him to control his heartbeat around the boy.

 

“Soo?” Jongin peered down with a frown. “You okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo said with a tight smile. He pulled away from Jongin’s grasp. “Look, I have a geography quiz tomorrow and I really need to study-”

 

“Not that again!” Jongin threw his hand up in defeat. “You study all the freaking time! It’s time you do something that’s actually useful.”

 

“Jongin, studying is useful.”

 

“You know what I mean,” he grumbled.  Jongin sighed before he turned around and slumped down on his chair.

 

“Okay, fine, but after you’re done we’re going to go out and play, okay?”

 

Kyungsoo nodded with a bright smile before he took out his books.

 

-----------------------------

 

“Come on Soo, wait up!”

 

Kyungsoo sniffed and began to run faster. He knew it was a lost cause, because he was as unathletic as someone could possibly be. Jongin easily caught up to him and yanked him back.

 

“Let me go!”

 

“You’re not listening to me!”

 

“I don’t need to listen anymore! You’re just an ! You’re like everybody else! You think I’m a loser.”

 

“Will you just please listen? Stop being so goddamn stubborn.”

 

Kyungsoo pulled his arm out and glared up at the taller boy.

 

“I’m the one being stubborn? You’ve been ignoring me for the past 2 days and while I’ve been spending the whole time worrying about your sorry , all you’ve been doing was avoiding me and sticking to Taemin and Kwanghee. It’s not like I don’t understand - you guys are best friends and even I can’t come between that. But you could’ve at least told me beforehand before you think it’s a good idea to not come back to our room for 2 ing days!”

 

Kyungsoo screamed and hit Jongin’s chest, pushing him away.

 

“Bastard! Do you know how worried I was? You tell me you’re going downtown to hang out with your friends and don’t come back? You selfish bastard!”

 

“Kyungsoo, calm down. It’s not what it looks like.”

 

“What does it look like? Just tell me you don’t want to be friends with me anymore and I’ll leave you the alone!”

 

Jongin sighed and dropped his head. “I never knew you had such a foul mouth.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Laughing out loud, Jongin grinned widely and pulled Kyungsoo into a tight hug. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he tried to escape, only to fail miserably.

 

“I need to show you something,” Jongin whispered quietly. Kyungsoo’s cheeks fired up and he slowly stopped struggling, burying his red face in Jongin’s shoulders.

 

“Don’t wanna see it,” he muttered. Jongin shrugged and began to pull Kyungsoo to their room. He pushed open the door and looked at Kyungsoo expectantly. Kyungsoo blinked and gaped silently.

 

He had been away from his room for a whole day to cool his head, and it looked completely different from what it originally looked like.

 

“Happy birthday,” Jongin exclaimed.

 

The desks were pulled to the center of the room and on top of it lay a huge cake with the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOO” on it. Balloons and posters hung all over the walls, and the soft theme song of pororo was playing from Jongin’s iPod. There was a huge pororo doll on Kyungsoo’s bed and it grinned widely up at the said boy.

 

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo muttered as his eyes slowly traced the room. Jongin looked at him in anxiety, unsure of what his reaction would be. After minutes of silence, Kyungsoo finally broke into a large grin and threw his arm around Jongin’s neck.

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!” He cried. Jongin finally let out a breath of relief and hugged the excited boy.

 

“Just to let you know, my birthday is in two days.”

 

Kyungsoo cackled and pushed Jongin away, earning a shout of protest.

 

------------------------------

 

Kyungsoo entered the cafeteria and scanned the room. He saw Jongin with his friends at the corner, laughing loudly over some game they were playing. He sighed and walked over, tapping Jongin on the shoulder. Jongin turned around and immediately brightened.

 

“Soo! What are you doing here?”

 

Kyungsoo ignored the bitter looks from the other two and smiled back.

 

“I need to speak with you. In private.”

 

It had been nearly 6 months since he came to this school, and he couldn’t hold it in any longer. His feelings for Jongin grew larger every day and something in him told him that confessing was a risk he had to take. After days of pushing the task, he finally decided that today was going to be the day.

 

“Sure?” Jongin replied with an uneasy smile and stood up. Suddenly, Taemin’s hand shot up and he grabbed Jongin’s arm.

 

“Now don’t be so rude, Kyungsoo,” he sneered, “we were in the middle of a conversation. If you want to talk to him, talk to him here.”

 

Kyungsoo frowned. “It’s kind of private.”

 

Kwanghee leaned back in his chair. “How private could it be? It’s not like you’re going to confess to him, right?”

 

Kyungsoo remained silent, and a sly smirk took its place on Taemin’s face.

 

“You’re going to confess, Kyungsoo? To Jongin? Aw, isn’t that the sweetest thing ever. Because last time I heard Jongin here had a crush on you too.”

 

Jongin turned bright red and he pulled away. “I do not!”

 

“Don’t be shy Jong. It’s not like it’s a secret. Everybody knows.”

 

Suddenly, Kyungsoo realized that every pair of eyes in the cafeteria were on Jongin and him. His cheeks burned even more and he looked away from Jongin’s gaze.

 

“Jongin, please, I need to speak to you.”

 

“Come up Jonginnie, your little boyfriend wants to have some alone time with you.”

 

The whole cafeteria roared in laughter. Jongin frowned and glared at Kwanghee.

 

“Seriously, stop. It’s not funny. Kyungsoo doesn’t have a crush on me. We’re simply friends. Right?” he turned to look at Kyungsoo, who finally managed to look up. Jongin’s eyes bore into his and he finally realized. Jongin was begging him to say no.

 

“Would it be bad if I said I actually did?” Kyungsoo whispered. Jongin snorted and looked away.

 

“I said stop. It’s not ing funny. There’s no way you would ever have a crush on me. Taemin, did you make him do this? Why would Kyungsoo ever have a crush on me? You said it yourself. We’re too different.”

 

“Because you’re the mighty and popular Kim Jongin and he’s just plain, boring Kyungsoo, right?”

 

Jongin rolled his eyes, oblivious to Kyungsoo growing paler and paler.

 

“Right, because that’s exactly what I think of Kyungsoo. Lame. Boring. Loser,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, but Kyungsoo was too far gone to hear.

 

“You think I’m lame?”

 

Jongin turned around to face Kyungsoo.

 

“What? No, Kyungsoo, you’re misunderstanding the whole situation here-”

 

Kyungsoo didn’t want to hear the rest. He took a shaky breath, stumbled backwards, and tried to ignore all the looks sent in his direction. The condescending looks of poor Dodo the loser, can’t do anything right, and did he honestly think he had a chance? With Kim Jongin?

 

“Kyungso-”

 

“I-I need to go,” Kyungsoo tore his eyes away from everyone and ran out, leaving behind the roars of laughter that erupted from the halls.

 

-------------------------------

 

Jongin sighed as he speed walked to his room. Kyungsoo had horribly misunderstood. His friends were just being jerks and were clearly trying to for his not-so-secret crush on Kyungsoo. It was only a matter of time before Kyungsoo found out, but this was not how he planned it to be.

 

“Kyung? Can you please open the door?”

 

When met with silence, Jongin pushed open the door and saw Kyungsoo crawled into a ball on top of his bed. He walked over and plopped down beside him.

 

“You okay?”

 

Kyungsoo made a low growl and looked up, glaring at Jongin with red, puffy eyes.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 

“I’m fine Jongin. Just leave me alone.”

 

Jongin only tightened his grip on Kyungsoo’s arm.

 

“Look, the prank my friends played back there was horrible. They don’t know what they’re saying. Just ignore it, alright?”

 

Kyungsoo sniffed and shook his head.

 

“It’s fine Jongin. Really. I get it. Just don’t bring it up again, okay?”

 

Jongin frowned, still a little bit uneasy, but decided to let it go.

 

“Sure. We’re okay, right?”

 

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin’s extended hand. He closed his eyes and tried to suppress the tears from coming out.

 

“Yeah, perfectly fine.”

 

--------------------------------

 

“Guys, I just came up with the most ingenious idea. You know how Kyungsoo’s last name is Do, right? Wouldn’t it be so funny to call him Dodo?”

 

“Dodo, hah, that is funny.”

 

“It suits him perfectly too, with him being all weird and .”

 

“Did you see him the other day? The way he got all stiff and teary when Jongin called him lame? He got totally rejected!”

 

“I’m so confused though. They’re still friends, right? What happened?”

 

“Who know? All I know is Kyungsoo is now the school’s number one loser and Jongin is probably just sticking with him to save him from the embarrassment.”

 

----------------------------

 

Kyungsoo never went back to the cafeteria after the incident. It was where everybody else was, and he tried to avoid it like a fly. Although he and Jongin were still ‘friends’, he couldn’t deny the strain in their relationship. Jongin looked like he was completely oblivious to it, but it was more than obvious to Kyungsoo. It was almost painful to see Jongin, with his rejection ringing loudly in his head on constant repeat.

 

“There’s no way you would ever have a crush on me.”

 

“Right, because that’s exactly what I think of Kyungsoo. Lame. Boring. Loser.”

 

Kyungsoo was fooling himself. He knew what Jongin thought of him now, but he was just too insecure to let him go. Jongin was his only friend, and unfortunately Kyungsoo liked him too much. He wanted to be next to him, even if that meant being seen as a complete loser and possibly annoying Jongin.

 

“Look! Dodo is here!”

 

Kyungsoo froze. He felt his breath hitch in his throat as the all too familiar nickname resonated through the hallway. He turned around to see a group of guys, Taemin and Kwanghee included, laughing hysterically at the look of pure horror on Kyungsoo’s face.

 

“Oh my god, this is too precious,” Taemin wiped a fake tear and came over to Kyungsoo. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and ignored the boy’s obvious shaking figure.

 

“Scared? Is Dodo terrified because his one true savior isn’t here to save him? But you know what? Even Jongin doesn’t really like you either. He wasn’t there to save you from the embarrassment last time, so what are the chances of him actually doing that now?”

 

 

“J-jongin isn’t like you guys.”

 

“Dear god, Kyungsoo, he rejected you in front of the whole student population! He admitted that he found you boring! How could he get more blatant than that? Why do you even stick to him?”

 

Kyungsoo tried to keep his breathing steady. He wasn’t going to return to his old self. He wasn't going to give up on Jongin.

 

“Jongin likes me fine,” Kyungsoo gritted his teeth and tried to pull away, but Taemin simply tightened his grip.

 

“Why do you kid yourself? That’s the saddest thing about you. You don’t know what’s real until it hits you in the face.”

 

“Let me go! It’s none of your damn business!” Suddenly, Taemin’s eyes glistened and he loosened his grip, causing Kyungsoo to go tumbling backwards. Kyungsoo saw Taemin and Kwanghee’s grin grow wider before he crashed into a person. He watched in horror as the food from the person’s tray came falling down, drenching him in hot, steamy curry. The cafeteria turned silent before bursting out in laughter.

 

“Holy crap!” Taemin doubled over, “Jongin, that was freaking hilarious!”

 

Kyungsoo froze at the name. He slowly wiped the curry out of his eyes and looked up to see Jongin grinning down at him.

 

“Aw come on, what the heck! Kyungsoo you okay?”

 

The only thing he could see was Jongin’s smirk - the same one he had learned to love, but all he wanted to do at the moment was wipe it away. The laughters grew louder and Jongin’s grin wider.

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

Memories began flooding in.

 

“Dodo the loser!”

 

“Jongin would never like someone like you.”

 

“The saddest thing about you is you don’t realize the truth until it hits you in the face.”

 

“Why do you kid yourself?

 

 

 

“Do you honestly think you would have a chance with him? With Kim Jongin?”

 

“I’m sorry Mr.Do, but it would be the best for everyone if your son transferred to a different school.”

 

“Get away from me, you weirdo!”

 

“Do Kyungsoo! The abnormal creep! The loser!”

 

Kyungsoo’s hand limped to the side. Jongin, who finally realized something was wrong, crouched down and tentatively raised his hand. Kyungsoo screeched and scrambled backwards, startling Jongin.

 

“Get away from me!” his voice cracked, blushing when the crowd laughed once more.

 

Then, it finally dawned on him. He would always be stuck as the old, bullied and pathetic Do Kyungsoo. There was no escape. Jongin was only a temporary delusion - a sweet dream right before the nightmare starts kicking in. It was time to wake up. Morning was overdue.

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

Kyungsoo slowly looked up. He could see Taemin and Kwanghee snickering in the background. His eyes were fixed on Jongin, but they weren’t inviting anymore. They were hostile, cold, and dark.

 

“Good-bye Jongin,” he sneered before he scrambled to his feet and ran off - the only thing he was really good at.

 

----------------------------

 

“Dude! What happened back there? I thought you were going to push Kwanghee in? It was supposed to be a funny joke. With Kyungsoo being down for nearly a week I thought we planned to cheer him up.”

 

Taemin shook his head. “I did you a favor, Jongin.”

 

Jongin narrowed his eyes. “Did me a favor? Kyungsoo won’t even look at me and I don’t even know why. I get that he’s pissed, but he won’t even let me explain! What’s the big deal?”

 

“The big deal?” Taemin laughed and pushed himself off the wall, facing Jongin with a stern look. “He finally woke up. He snapped out of whatever delusion he was living in.”

 

“Delusion? What are you even talking about?”

 

Taemin snorted. “You are too naive for your own good. Just know that it was you who cut off your friendship with Kyungsoo.”

 

“I didn’t do anything!” Jongin roared, “it was a practical joke gone wrong! Kyungsoo shouldn't be so pissed off about it!”

 

“Do Kyungsoo was already ed up as he was. He only needed a little push in the right direction to send him to where he belongs. You gave him the push.”

 

Jongin’s face contorted into one of anger and he leapt forward, pushing Taemin to the ground. He grabbed the boy’s collar and gritted his teeth.

 

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Jongin seethed, “Kyungsoo’s my friend. I like him, for gods sake. He’s not ed up! Just because he’s quiet and likes to read and sing along to pororo right before he falls asleep does not make him into a freak!”

 

“Do you even hear yourself? Before Kyungsoo showed up you used to be exactly like me. What makes him so damn special? Why do you give him special treatment from all the other losers out there? At least I’m the one being honest here. Both you and Kyungsoo need to snap out of it! Return to who you really are, because no one in this damn school is buying your act Jongin.”

 

“Haven’t you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, I might be changing for the better?”

 

Taemin snorted and rolled his eyes.

 

“Seriously Jongin? You? I know you better than you know yourself. You’re not going to change. Do Kyungsoo, especially, is not going to be the reason of you changing. So why even try?”

 

Jongin remained silent.

 

“Taemin, if I ever find out you did something to him and that you’re the reason Kyungsoo hates me now, I swear I'm going to hunt you down and make you regret it.”

 

Taemin chuckled and swiftly pushed Jongin away.

 

“Let’s see how much you really change, Jongin. Because from what I can tell, even after years and years, you’re never getting Kyungsoo back. That’s for sure.”

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Kyungsoo picked his food in silence, enjoying the soft breeze as it picked up leaves and gently rolled along. The peace was one he rarely got. After years of torture, he had finally learned to savor every moment like this.

 

“Kyungsoo! I got you some drinks!”

 

Closing his eyes in annoyance, Kyungsoo looked away. Jongin had already taken a seat beside him and was shoving a cold drink in his hands.

 

“Come on, this was really expensive. Try it.”

 

“Go away.”

 

“I’m serious! It’s really good! Baekhyun - he’s my new friend by the way, he’s really annoying but still fun to hang out with - told me to buy it.”

 

“I don’t want it. Go away.”

 

“Just try it, will you?”

 

“Goddamit Jongin!” Kyungsoo roared and shot up, making his lunch spill all over the floor. Jongin looked as the rice splattered against the concrete and smiled goofily.

 

“This reminds me of the time when we were in third grade. You know, when I accidently spilled lunch all over you? God, Taemin was such an . I still don’t understand why I was friends with that son of a -”

 

Kyungsoo, however, didn’t remain to heard the rest. Without sparing Jongin a glance he stormed off.

 

-----------------------------

 

“Oh my god, Kyungsoo, are you okay?”

 

Kyungsoo blinked slowly as he saw red juice slowly soak his pants. Chanyeol stood in front of him, gaping widely while freaking out.

 

“I’m so sorry, I must’ve lost my grip. I ruined your pants. What am I going to do? Holy crap, I’m such an idiot. Are you okay? Kyungsoo, stop spacing out. Kyungsoo? Why aren’t you reacting? Kyungsoo!”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes however were fixed somewhere far away. Jongin, who was sitting with his friends, was laughing out loud at the scene. When he met Jongin’s gaze the latter had the audacity to wink. It made his blood boil and his fists tightened.

 

“Park Chanyeol,” he seethed, “let the go.”

 

Chanyeol looked up in shock. “Kyungsoo-?”

 

“I said let go!” Kyungsoo screamed. Jongin immediately stopped laughing, freezing at the furious look Kyungsoo was sending in his direction.

 

Kyungsoo snarled quietly and ripped his gaze from him, storming away with Chanyeol still frozen at the spot in pure shock.

 

 

 

------------------------------

 

“Kyungsoo! I got you the best thing ever!”

 

Jongin exclaimed and rushed into the room, his arms carrying a large bag. Kyungsoo frowned and didn’t bother to look at him.

 

“Soo-”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

Jongin flinched at Kyungsoo’s tone before laughing awkwardly. He slowly put down the bag on Kyungsoo’s desk. “Open it.”

 

“I don’t want it.”

 

“You always say that! Remember when we were in third grade and I got you your birthday present? You said you didn’t want it either-”

 

“Yah!” Kyungsoo yelled and shot up, sending his chair towards the floor. Jongin blinked in surprise as Kyungsoo trembled in front of him, eyes red with hatred.

 

“It’s just a present,” Jongin whispered, “I’m not asking you for anything. Just check it out. Please.”

 

“I don’t want your goddamn present! I just want you to leave me alone!” Kyungsoo roared and threw the paper bag on the ground. His eyes widened as he saw the head of a pororo doll, the exact one Jongin had gotten him years ago, roll out the bag.

 

A tense silence filled the room as the two males’ eyes were fixed on the doll, one with shock and the other with pain.

 

“The old one disappeared,” Jongin finally broke the silence as he offered a small, tentative smile. “I thought I’d get you a new one.”

 

Kyungsoo finally managed to tear his gaze away. He let out a shaky breath and took a step back.

 

“Please Jongin,” he asked, his voice almost pleading. “Please. Leave me alone. Stop this. Don’t do this to me anymore!”

 

“I don’t understand. Just tell me what I did! You started changing after that joke, but even I know that it couldn’t have been because of that. What is your problem?”

 

“My problem is you! It’s always been you since day one! Please Jongin,” Kyungsoo bawled. Jongin’s eyes widened in shock as he saw tears from the other boy.

 

“It’s been years.. Don’t you ever get sick of it? What do I need to do to just make you stop?!”

 

“I-I,” Jongin stumbled backwards as Kyungsoo sobbed hysterically, “I need to go.”

 

“Kim Jongin!”

 

Jongin slammed the door behind him. Kyungsoo stared at the closed door before crouching down and picking up the pororo plushie.

 

Little black words of “Happy Birthday Soo!” was written on the back of the doll. Crying, he brought the doll closer and hugged it tightly, ignoring the growing ache in his chest.

 

-------------------------------

 

 

Jongin sighed and opened his eyes, squinting slightly at the bright sun. He heard a soft chuckle from behind and looked back to see Baekhyun and Luhan grinning down at him.

 

“Kyungsoo trouble?” Luhan asked as he plopped down beside the boy, on his strawberry lollipop. “What did you do again?”

 

“I gave him a present.”

 

Baekhyun snorted. “What is his problem. He got pissed off over a present? Seriously, Jongin, just tell us what happened between you guys. There must be something, right?”

 

Jongin shook his head. “I told you guys enough. We used to be friends, now we aren’t. There was a joke gone wrong and he’s been different ever since. I honestly don’t know what either!”

 

“Joke gone wrong?” Luhan inquired. “Maybe it’s more serious than that?”

 

“I’m telling you guys, it really wasn’t a very big deal!”

 

“That’s what you think,” Baekhyun scoffed. “Whatever. It’s his problem. He’ll eventually get over it.”

 

Jongin frowned and look at his friend. “You think so?”

 

“Kyungsoo’s not going to stay mad at you forever. He’ll have to give in someday, right?”

 

“I doubt it,” Luhan interrupted, “Jongin’s doing it all wrong. There’s obviously something serious here that Jongin is missing. Nothing's going to change unless Jongin finds out about it.”

 

“I can’t find out anything if Kyungsoo won’t tell me!”

 

“Then the only way to go about this is to make him get over it.”

 

--------------------------

 

Jongin slammed down his spoon on the table and stood up, stepping on top of his chair. He raised his hand and clapped loudly.

 

“Listen up people!”

 

The whole cafeteria turned silent and looked at him in bewilderment. Luhan gaped at his friend as Baekhyun slumped down and banged his head against the table, not wanting to see what was going to happen next.

 

“I’ve got an announcement to make!” Jongin said while grinning widely. He turned to face Kyungsoo, who was still focused on a book.

 

“This is something I’ve been wanting to tell Kyungsoo for years now,” Jongin said. Kyungsoo’s head finally snapped up and he gawked at the standing boy, face quickly turning red as the rest of the cafeteria turned to stare at him.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin started, “to be honest, I really like you. I’ve liked you since we first met. I want you to forget about whatever happened between us and give us a chance. Is that okay?”

 

With that, Jongin whipped out a large bouquet of flowers out of his bag and walked over to Kyungsoo’s table, laying it in front of the shocked boy.

 

“Oh my god,” Luhan muttered before he bursted out in laughter. “This is your plan?”

 

“That idiot,” Baekhyun seethed. Suddenly, the whole cafeteria burst out in laughter as they started to point at Jongin and Kyungsoo. Jongin merely shrugged and gave Kyungsoo a nervous smile.

 

“So?”

 

Kyungsoo remained frozen in his seat. This whole scene was way too familiar for his liking; everyone staring and laughing at him, Jongin giving him a cruel, heart wrenching smile, and Jongin’s friends snickering in the back. His heart stopped beating for a second as he eyed the flower in front of him.

 

“I need to speak to you in private.”

 

“You’re going to confess to Kim Jongin?”

 

“No, Kyungsoo doesn’t like me.”

 

“Lame. Boring. Loser.”

 

He shot out of his seat and without thinking, threw the bouquet across the room. Jongin stared at him in horror and everyone immediately turned silent.

 

“This is how you get back at me?” Kyungsoo hissed, “wow Jongin. I never knew you could be this cruel. I thought you at least had the decency to not bring up that again. But doing it like this? What did I ever do so wrong to deserve this !”

 

Jongin leapt forward and grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm in desperation.

 

“Look, I’m sorry for making it so public but you would've never given me a chance otherwise. Let’s just go out. I need to speak to you and-”

 

“Just shut the up,” Kyungsoo sneered and pulled his arm away. All eyes were fixed on him, judging and critical with tints of condescending laughter.

 

Kyungsoo gathered his stuff and stormed out of the cafeteria, hoping that Jongin wouldn’t find him anytime soon because he was much too broken now.

 

-----------------------------

 

 

 

“Baby, wait up!”

 

“Go away, Jongin.”

 

“He’s my boyfriend!”

 

“I am not! Shut up!”

 

“Do you want to go out tonight? There’s this really good cafe downtown-”

 

“No. I need to study. Go with someone else instead.”

 

“I got you this awesome t-shirt-”

 

“ off!”

 

“I was wondering if you could help me with this assignment.”

 

“Use your useless brain for something else, idiot.”

 

“I love you, Soo. I really do. It’s so obvious, why can’t you see it?”

“Please Jongin. Stop doing this to me. It’s killing me. Just.....just leave me alone.”

 

---------------------------------

 

"But this is for my best friend, you .”

 

Kyungsoo didn't have time to react. All he could do was gape silently as the ice water was poured over him, drenching him thoroughly. Baekhyun's eyes were fixed on him with the most vicious look he had ever seen.

 

"Kyungsoo!"

 

Kyungsoo ignored as Chanyeol leapt forward and quickly wrapped his jacket around his shaking torso. He was preoccupied with the fact that this was Byun Baekhyun, Kim Jongin's best friend, standing in front of him right now looking deadly. He saw glimpses of Lee Taemin flash before his eyes, merging together with Baekhyun to form one image.

 

"You're lucky I'm not shoving a goddamn knife down your throat right now."

 

“Because you’re the mighty and popular Kim Jongin and he’s just plain, boring Kyungsoo, right?” Taemin's voice rang in his head.

 

".... he's going to go back to following your sorry like nothing happened."

 

He didn't even get a chance to retort. Before he could open his mouth Baekhyun had already left the scene, leaving him alone with the silent, anticipating student body and Jongin staring at him from across the room.

 

He didn't want to see the look on Jongin's face. He couldn't deal with it right now. That was why when he finally managed to lift his head he was surprised to see Jongin standing directly in front of him.

 

".....I should've stopped him, I know, but I-"

 

Please....please.....

 

More silence. It was as if the whole world had been shut off temporarily, waiting for Kyungsoo to make the next move. The next stupid move to get the cycle running again.

 

Jongin's desperate, pleading eyes bore into his, but Kyungsoo didn't see. He wasn't able to see the truth in Jongin's eyes for nine years. It wasn't real, because he made himself promise that he would never let himself be deceived ever again. Especially by Kim Jongin.

 

It was time for the final act. He was going to finish things for good.

 

"Good bye Jongin."

 

 

---

Damn...that was hard to write.

So I had this whole situation planned for a while now....but writing it was so much harder than I expected it to be :( Kyungsoo's psychology is so hard to portray and I'm not sure if I presented it clearly enough

That's why if you guys want an explanation, just click on my blog below. It'll just explain what happened in this chapter in actual descriptive paragraphs XD This chapter is a complete new style for me because it's so dialogue-based. Hopefully it wasn't too bad though :P

Explanation for Kaisoo Flashback in Queer & Proud

Keep in mind that this is only the beginning for Kaisoo! Their relationship has a long way to go. But now that I finally have the mystery/drama out of the way, I can start to focus more on the actual interactions for each couple. That means more Hunhan, Baekyeol, and Kaisoo! 

Next few chapters will focus on Hunhan with bits and pieces of Baekyeol. Kaisoo will make an appearance soon enough, so look forward to that!

I'm going to take it slow with Hunhan, tbh. Sehun is still straight (snorts) and he's not even close to admitting he likes Luhan. That doens't mean I'm going to drag it out like crazy, but I definitely don't want him to be suddenly BAM! I like Luhan OMG I'm GAY! no, that's not gonna happen :P

Anyways, I hope a lot of you guys are finally pleased to get the tension out of the way because GOD FOR 17 FREAKING CHAPTERS EVERYBODY WAS HATING ON KYUNGSOO *SOBS it's okay baby, Jongin is here for you.

So, as a final note, I won't be able to update until Wednesday when Lunar New Year break starts and I can stay at home and write like crazy! Then I'll shower you guys with lots and lots of love <3

Thanks for all the subscriptions, comments, and votes so far! You guys are the best :)