Kyungsoo slowly opened his eyes. The curtains were drawn, allowing no light in the pitch black room despite it being early in the morning. He pulled himself up and walked over to the window, slowing pushing apart the curtains. The light stung his eyes and he immediately looked away, groaning as his head began aching.

“Oh god,” Kyungsoo mumbled before grabbing his throbbing head. He turned around and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. He slowly looked at his room. Jongin’s bed was empty once again as it had been for the past three days. Kyungsoo immediately frowned and tore his gaze away from Jongin’s bed.

Jongin had plenty of friends. He could always find a place to sleep. It wasn’t any of his concern.

Kyungsoo made a beeline to the bathroom and didn’t bother to close the door behind him. He the faucet full blast and dipped his head in the icy cold water. He needed this.

Suddenly, he heard a small cough from behind. His hands fumbled to turn off the water and he spun around. Chanyeol was leaning against the bathroom doorway, frowning at Kyungsoo.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” Chanyeol said, his voice monotonous.

Kyungsoo sighed and leaned against the sink, running his hand through his wet hair in frustration.

“You scared the crap out of me. I thought you were-,” Kyungsoo caught himself, closing his mouth quickly.

Chanyeol cocked an eyebrow. “You thought I was Jongin?”

Kyungsoo frowned.

“Look, if you came to lecture me about him, I’m not interested.”

“I’m not going to lecture you about anyone,” Chanyeol hissed before he pushed himself off the doorway and took a step forward. “You’re my best friend Kyung. I’m on your side. But it’s not going to help your cause if you won’t tell me a damn thing!”

“I don’t need to tell you anything!” Kyungsoo seethed. “This is none of your business! This is not anyone’s business! So can you and the other guys just please off?! I can’t breathe with everyone asking me what’s going on with Jongin every damn minute.”

“You think this is just between you and Jongin?” Chanyeol snapped back, “this became everyone’s problem the moment you guys showed us that you can’t sort out your differences. And frankly, by the way you’re treating Jongin right now, you’re the complete here!”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. Chanyeol glared down at the shorter boy before he grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm, dragging him to his bed and forcing him to sit down.

“You kicked Jongin out of his own room. You told him to kill himself. You call him a son of a and a every chance you get. You look at him like he’s some kind of pest and rip apart everything he gets you right in front of his eyes. You’re a bully. Can’t you see that?”

“I am not a bully-” Kyungsoo yelled, but was cut off by Chanyeol.

“I don’t know what you are Kyungsoo, because you won’t tell me!” Chanyeol roared, “I don’t even know who my best friend really is!”

Kyungsoo let out a quivering breath. Chanyeol’s grip on Kyungsoo’s shoulders tightened, but Kyungsoo ignored the pain.

“You know what I just saw?” Chanyeol’s voice had a deadly edge to it, “I was coming to your room to cheer you up after what happened two days ago, but I saw Jongin walk out of Baekhyun’s room. Apparently he had no place to go after you kicked him out and ended up crashing at Baekhyun’s late last night. And you know what the sadder thing is? Jongin didn’t look like he blamed you a bit. He made it sound like it was his fault! Heaven knows I’m not friends with Jongin in the slightest way, but even I could tell that the boy was completely broken. It looked like he spent the whole night crying his ing eyes out.”

Chanyeol finally let go of Kyungsoo’s shoulders and took a step back, his eyes still remaining as hostile as it had been before.

“I am your best friend, Kyungsoo, and I couldn’t defend you in any way because I wasn’t sure myself that you were the good guy here! I don’t know if you really aren’t a bastard!”

Kyungsoo finally broke. He grabbed Chanyeol’s arm in desperation, but felt his head go numb when he saw his friend’s eyes narrow into thin slits.

“I’m so sorry Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo cried, “I-I just can’t say anything. I don’t care if I’m the bad guy here. As long as I get to hurt Jongin in any way, I’m okay. After everything he did to me, it’s only fair. Please don’t be mad with me. I-I can’t afford to have you mad at me also because the whole world is against me and dear god, I can’t stand it anymore-”

Chanyeol let out a shaky breath in disbelief.

“If the whole world thinks you’re a ,” he whispered quietly, “then that says something about who you really are, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo sobbed loudly as Chanyeol gave Kyungsoo one last angry glare before storming out the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kyungsoo curled up into a ball and buried his head in his hands. For the first time ever, Kyungsoo allowed himself to let out a frustrated, pained scream.

Jongin stared at the screen in front of him. It was already 9pm. Dinner was long over, and it was almost time for the students to pack up and start heading to their respective dorms. Which, unfortunately for Jongin, he did not have at the moment.

He had alternated between Baekhyun and Luhan’s room for the past couple of days. He avoided Jongdae and Minseok’s like a fly because he did not want to hear what went in there every night. Luhan was no problem, but Jongin did not enjoy the subtle glares Sehun sent in his direction whenever he would play his music too loudly or make a stupid joke. He then went to Baekhyun, but the boy had a roommate who Jongin was not very close to and he didn’t want to be a nuisance any longer. And here he was now, left with no options.

Whoever said Jongin was “popular” had no idea what he was saying, because Jongin didn’t feel popular one bit.

The roof was empty as always. Jongin, however, wasn’t sitting by the edge this time. He didn’t want to be found by any of his friends, especially Baekhyun who would for sure nag and drag him out. He was sitting behind a large water tank so if anyone pushed open the door they could not see him.

His headphones were secured tightly around his ears. He bobbed his head along the loud music, trying to drown out what was a miserable reality. His head felt like it was going to explode; Kyungsoo had finally managed to push him to a cliff and he was desperately clinging on to the last, almost invisible string of hope he had.

He was too distracted that he didn’t hear the door slowly creak open and a hurried sound of footsteps. His head was leaning against the tank and his eyes shut close. Suddenly, he felt his headphones be yanked off and his eyes shot open. He sighed and turned around to glare at the one person who could find him in these circumstances - Byun Baekhyun.

However, the moment he laid eyes on the person in front of him, his throat went dry and his eyes widened in disbelief. Do Kyungsoo, the person who spent his everyday trying to hide from Jongin, was here. In front of Jongin and staring down at him with an unreadable expression.

“Kyung-,” Jongin started, but his voice failed him. He merely stared at the boy, unable to comprehend what was happening. Kyungsoo continued to stare before he slowly crouched down, sitting across from Jongin.

“You’ve been skipping class,” were Kyungsoo’s first words. Jongin couldn’t do anything but blink, his eyes fixed on Kyungsoo’s every move. Kyungsoo sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Look, it’s been what, three days? I know it’s a bit unfair of me to say this but you can’t continue to crash at your friends’ rooms for the rest of the year. I shouldn’t have kicked you out of our room - you have as much claim over it as I do. So what I’m saying is.... I’m sorry about that.”

Kyungsoo lowered his gaze. There were hints of guilt, pain, and confusion in his eyes. Jongin was still trying to regain control over his brain.

“Kim Jongin, don’t just sit there and make me do all the talking. Say something.”

Jongin finally let out a shaky breath at the mention of his name.

“No!” he exclaimed. Kyungsoo blinked and he cocked his head in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Jongin winced and he tried to keep himself from banging his head over and over again against the container.

“What I was trying to say is....you don’t have to be sorry. I made you mad. It’s my fault, so you don’t have to feel bad or anything.”

Kyungsoo groaned. He slumped down on the ground and gave Jongin a frustrated look.

“Jongin, despite everything that’s been going on between us these past years, there are certain lines that I shouldn’t have crossed. Telling you to go die was a mistake. I was annoyed and angry at you, but saying that was inexcusable. So please don’t make me a complete here and refuse to accept my apology.”

Jongin’s jaw dropped open. “That’s not what I meant! Of course you aren’t a ! Who would say such a thing?”

Kyungsoo, for the first time in days, smiled bitterly. “Jongin, please. You don’t have to continue to do this. I got the message. I understand. Hell, I understood when I was in third grade.”

Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s finally time for the joke to end. It’s been going on for 9 years now, and honestly I don’t think I can handle it any longer.”

Suddenly, the world seemed to stop. Jongin’s breath hitched in his throat and he looked at Kyungsoo in shock.

“You thought this was a joke? All these years?” Jongin’s voice cracked. “What more can I possibly do? I’ve done everything I could!”

“That’s the problem. Don’t you get it?” Kyungsoo’s voice was barely audible. “I gave you a chance and you trampled on it. Jongin, I’ve always been one big comedy show to you and you know it as well. The moment I stepped in all those years ago, when I smiled at you and gave you my trust, when I finally opened up to you, you never took me seriously. Do you know what that feels like? To be made into a joke for nine whole years? My feelings were never in your radar. It’s always been about you. You want me as a trophy - a sign that you finally won and that even the unbreakable Do Kyungsoo gave in to you. That’s all I’ve ever been to you and all I ever will be.”

“I don’t understand. I never trampled on your feelings. , you’ve never even looked at me. I’ve been following you around and showing you how much I really liked you since third grade. How are my feelings even remotely like a joke?”

Kyungsoo let out a shrill, airy laugh. Jongin felt a shiver go down his spine as he watched Kyungsoo’s eyes turn darker and darker.

“Jongin, do you even remember what exactly happened to us? Do you even have a clue to why I suddenly started to avoid you? Because you know I wasn’t always like this.”

“What? N-no. All I recall is you suddenly started running away whenever I would call you and you wouldn’t meet my eyes. Honestly, it’s been so long ago I barely remember anything.”

Kyungsoo dropped his gaze. He closed his eyes and tightened his fist. “This is the reason why I hate you so much.”

“Kyungso-”

“No!” Kyungsoo yelled, cutting Jongin’s off. “Let me do the talking for once because we both know you’ll forget it by tomorrow.”

Jongin froze as Kyungsoo’s eyes watered. Small droplets of tears threatened to fall despite the boy’s desperate attempts to keep it in.

“I said I ing liked you. I said it first! I said it all those years ago and you know what you did? You started laughing. You mocked me in front of the whole student body because I was just pathetic little Do Kyungsoo, the new transfer student who was too nerdy, shy, and geeky for someone like you. And then you went on to publicly embarrass me in every chance you got! Saying that you liked me back when you made it clear that you didn’t, standing by the side and laughing while your little group of friends made fun of my appearance, never giving a about my pleads for you to stop because it was just too much fun!”

“Kyungsoo-”

“And then the jokes just escalated as the years passed by. I thought it’d stop eventually. Heck, I’ve been praying that one day the joke would get old and you would just let it go because we weren’t in elementary school anymore. But you know what? Your jokes just got more cruel. Do you know what it feels like to hear “I love you” from the person who I confessed to but got so brutally rejected by? From the one person who knows how pathetic and vulnerable I really am? Do you think I don’t see it whenever you snicker with your friends everytime you do something to embarrass me? I’ve been bullied by you, by the person I love, and what makes me even more angry is that no matter what I do I can’t seem to get away from you. You’ve never given me a chance to get over you because everytime you say something sweet it gets my hopes high, that maybe you may be speaking the truth, only to find you laughing and right back to torturing me the very next day.”

Kyungsoo cried, and in midst of his rage he had cornered Jongin, who stared back in horror.

“How could you be so cruel? How dare you say I didn’t give you a chance?”

Jongin leapt forward and grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm, and despite the shorter’s protest, he tightened his grip and pulled him down.

“I honestly didn’t know. Kyungsoo, I’m sorry but I really don’t remember what I did. I was in third grade and was immature. I still am, but I was a kid back then. Kids do stupid things. Please, I’m different now and I really do like you-”

“Stop it!” Kyungsoo screeched as he pulled away, pushing Jongin to the ground. “Just stop! Don’t you understand? I can’t trust you anymore. All you ever said to me was a lie, a facade, and now you suddenly want me to take you seriously? So what? You can trample on my feelings again? I’m not only talking about what happened in third grade, Jongin. I’m talking about nine whole years of our ed up relationship! I begged you to stop, I was honest with you. I told you that your actions were driving me crazy. I cried, I got frustrated, I yelled at you but you wouldn’t listen to me for a single second. So I’m done with this. I’m not going to do this anymore.”

Kyungsoo shot up and he stepped back. Jongin quickly scrambled to his feat and closed the door shut, keeping Kyungsoo from going out.

“We are not done,” Jongin said, his voice strained, “we didn’t even get to begin. You said I couldn’t take the easy way out, so I’m going to take the hardest route. That’s to get you to accept me, right? So I’m going to do exactly that.

“Jongin-”

“Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I was a but I really am different now. We’re not ed up; it’s the whole situation we are in that’s the problem. And I’m going to fix that. I’m going to make you trust me once more.”

Kyungsoo sighed and pushed Jongin’s arm away. “You’re the same person you were nine years ago. Nothing’s going to change that. If you did, it would’ve been much easier for me to just get over you, don’t you think?”

“Kyungsoo, please.”

“See you later, Jongin.”

With that, Kyungsoo looked up, gave Jongin one last bitter smile, before pushing the door open and closing it behind him. Jongin stared at the closed door in front of him and gripped the handle, eyes hardening in pain and desperation.

HOLY CRAP. WHAT IS THIS. I'M FEATURED????

this can't be true.

I'm so shocked right now I can't really come up with anything proper to say. 

THANKYOU GUYS SO MUCH. THIS IS SO AMAZING <3 

That's why, as a thankyou gift, I'm giving you guys some Kaisoo ANGST! AND FINALLY YOU GUYS KNOW WHY KYUNGSOO IS SO Y MWAHAHAHAHAH Of course the whole story isn't revealed yet. Kyungsoo is vague as but you know what? THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE A FLASHBACK SCENE OF THIRD GRADE. IT'S WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR! SO BE PREPARED!

And then of course I'm going to put loads and loads of hunhan and baekyeol fluff on you guys so you guys enjoy going on an emotional rollercoaster. YAY! <3 

Once again, thanks so much for giving this fic a chance. I know I'm not an amazing writer like some people out there (cough cough Kyungs0-0 - I'm talking to you) but I still try so that counts right? Thanks for sticking with me and my awkward rambling after each chapter and my overflowing bucket full of feels. I just can't contain them, you know?

I swear my AN just gets longer and longer. I must be really annoying LOL such a fail author, but since you guys are the best people in the world please be patient with me <3 So, just to sum up everything, THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS.