It’s been exactly 1 day 8 hours and 34 minutes since their fight, and Jongin didn’t know how much longer he could hold up.

He was having freaking withdrawals from not being able to see and talk to Kyungsoo, although their conversation did usually involve Jongin doing most of the talking and Kyungsoo walking away, but nevertheless, Jongin still missed his roommate. Which was why he was currently walking to the one place he hated the most in the whole school - the library.

Everyone knew that Jongin would rather die than step a foot into the library. The place made him nauseous and he couldn’t stand being there for more than 5 minutes (Baekhyun had experimented when they were both middle schoolers and it took Jongin exactly 4 minutes and 43 seconds before he came running out.) This made the library an obvious hideout for Kyungsoo, as he knew that Jongin, under no circumstances, will come looking for him there. But Jongin was desperate, and when he was desperate he did stupid, regrettable things.

Jongin avoided the strange glances he got from the other students as he pushed open the marble door and smiled sheepishly at the gawking librarian. The library was nearly empty and silent, just as he imagined it to be, and he quickly made his way to the middle of the library so he could find his target easily.

Fortunately, Kyungsoo was seated by the table at the corner of the library, far away from the rest of the students. This made it safer for Jongin to approach him without having to be afraid of being kicked out before he got to talk to the said boy. Taking a deep breath, he slowly approached Kyungsoo and slipped in the seat across from him.

Kyungsoo’s head snapped up at the sudden noise and his eyes widened. It was clear to Jongin that Kyungsoo was shocked beyond comprehension - even Jongin himself couldn’t understand his actions and he felt his head go hazy at the mere smell of books.

“Hey,” Jongin whispered, a small, tentative smile tugging at his lips. Kyungsoo finally seemed to get over his shock and quickly shut his gaping jaw, his eyes turning cold and hostile once more.

“Kim Jongin, what the are you doing here,” Kyungsoo sneered, “this is the damn library.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Jongin answered, “I was looking for you.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “And you come to the library? You and I both know this was the one place I could be safe from you. How dare you destroy that?”

“Look, Kyungsoo, just hear me out alright? I promise I’ll leave after I’m done and never come back again.”

“Do you honestly think I’m going to believe you?” Kyungsoo whispered, his voice harsh and biting, “do you think I’m stupid?”

“Kyungsoo. Please.”

Kyungsoo was about to snap back, but something in Jongin’s eyes stopped him. Jongin looked so vulnerable, so weak, so utterly pathetic that Kyungsoo just couldn’t go on. He closed his mouth and leaned back, waiting for Jongin to continue with narrowed eyes.

“Thanks,” Jongin said with a grateful smile, “Thank you so much.”

“Just get to the point, will you?”

Jongin sighed and stared at his fidgeting hands with a pained expression.

“I know I’ve said it a million times, but I’m so sorry Kyungsoo. I didn’t mean to bother you so much, but I had this silly notion in my head that if I said it enough then you’ll somehow realize how much I really like you. I-I thought you liked me too, honestly. After all those years, I thought you’d realize sooner or later that you reciprocated my feelings. But I now realize that I was just being delusional. I could never get you to like me back. And it kills me to say this out loud, but I’m not going to ask you to from now on.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened in shock. “What?” he asked in disbelief. Jongin cracked a bitter smile, his eyes boring into Kyungsoo’s.

“I won’t pester you from now on. I won’t follow you around constantly and embarrass you. But Kyungsoo, I want you to know that I just can’t get rid of my feelings for you. It’s been there for nine goddamn years, and it’s not just going to go away. So I want you understand and allow me to continue to like you. I don’t need you to accept my feelings - I’m not stupid enough to still think I have a chance. It’s my last request.”

Jongin bit his lips nervously and his bangs fell forward, covering his shaking, uneasy eyes. Kyungsoo’s breath hitched in his throat as he continued to stare at the boy in front of him.

“Are you serious? You can’t be freaking serious. After all these years, you’re finally going to stop?”

Jongin nodded slowly. “That fight we had made me realize something. From the very beginning, I had no chance. It was a wild goose chase for nine whole years. I can’t do it any longer. Not for me, and especially not for you.”

Kyungsoo took in a shaky breath. “Do you realize,” Kyungsoo voice trembled in rage, “how much I ing hate you right now?”

Jongin finally looked up, but this time instead of anxiety and guilt, there was confusion in his eyes.

“What? But I thought this would make you ecstatic. I’m finally going to leave you alone. Isn’t that all you wanted? That was all you ever asked for.”

“Exactly!” Kyungsoo screeched, attracting the attention of the students and the librarian. “You never gave me what I asked for! You managed to convince yourself that you cared for me, but in reality you only did what pleased yourself! You gave absolutely no attention to what I wanted and how uncomfortable you made me every ing single day. Do you know how hard it was for me these past years? How much I wanted you to just shut up and leave me the hell alone? I even considered moving schools because of you, but I couldn’t because I’m ing gay and I’ll be tormented if I went anywhere else. But I’m starting to think I should’ve because it has to be better than this hell I’m living in!”

“Kyungsoo, I was just-”

“Don’t you ing dare tell me you’re going to just leave me alone, Kim Jongin. After everything, after what you did to me in third grade, you have no right to take the easy way out. I’m going to make sure of that.”

With that, Kyungsoo gathered his things and shot out of his seat. He brushed past Jongin and paused abruptly, looking back with a vicious glare.

“You want to know why you never had a chance?” Kyungsoo seethed. Jongin stared back, unable to do anything under Kyungsoo’s menacing eyes.

“I gave you my heart once, and you threw it out the window. And I’ve been trying to get over that ever since.”

Kyungsoo’s hands coiled into tight fists before spinning around and stomping out of the library. Everyone’s eyes turned to Jongin, who remained frozen.

“Kyungsoo....” Jongin muttered quitely as his brain tried to wrap around the current situation. Suddenly, his eyes snapped up and he rushed out of the library.

“Kyungsoo!” He screamed, only to be met with silence engulfing the dark hallway.

“You ready?” Luhan asked as he spun around and looked at Sehun. Sehun nodded as he slipped on a jacket and put on a wool hat.

“Yeah,” Sehun replied. He grabbed his wallet and phone, stuffed them in his pockets, and opened the door. Luhan grinned at him and led Sehun out. They made their way to downtown, which was supposed to be only a 15 minute walk. They, however, were slow walkers and Luhan constantly talked and made short stops to stare at passing dogs or point out weird shapes of clouds. Sehun strangely had gotten immune to the whole thing and simply smiled and nodded along as Luhan chattered on.

“I think we’re here,” Luhan paused in front of a small shop with a bright, red sign hanging above. “I heard Jongin talk about taking Kyungsoo here one day. Let’s go in.”

Sehun followed Luhan in, and a waiter came rushing over to lead the two to a table at the back. Luhan smiled and muttered a small thank you, giving a disapproving look in Sehun’s direction as he simply sat down without so much a glance in the waiter’s direction.

“Sehun, you’re being rude,” Luhan whispered quietly as the the waiter passed out the menus and went away, “you could at least smile.”

Sehun cocked an eyebrow. “He was just a waiter. Why would I smile?”

Luhan sighed as he shook his head. “It’s called being polite. Gosh, you’re so damn stoic all the time I can’t figure out what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“You know, I liked you better when you were still trying to get me to talk to you. Now you just nag and hit me all the time.”

“That’s not true!” Luhan gasped in exasperation. “I’m perfectly nice to you!”

Sehun snorted and glanced at the menu in his hands. “Sure,” he drawled, earning a kick to the shin.

“Ow!” Sehun cried, “see what I mean?”

“You were being impolite,” Luhan stuck out his tongue before breaking out into a toothy smile. “Just choose something. You’re taking forever.”

Sehun sighed and put down the menu. Luhan waved his hand and the waiter came over, a wide grin on his face.

“Ready?” he said, and Luhan nodded eagerly. Then he gave Sehun a pointed look, to which Sehun replied with a groan and put on a fake smile.

“I’ll have the vongole pasta,” Luhan said, and when the waiter turned to look at Sehun, he pointed out his chicken salad. The waiter nodded as he scribbled the orders on a piece of paper before looking at the two.

“So,” he said, “first date?”

Sehun, who was drinking from his cup of water, choked at the question and grasped the dining table as he tried to regain his breath. Luhan went bright red and looked at anywhere else but at an extremely horrified looking Sehun.

“Of course not!” Sehun shouted, “I’m straight!”

“Oh,” the waiter commented with a confused frown, “but aren’t you two from that high school nearby? I thought all the students there were homoual.”

“Sehun here is an exception,” Luhan managed to say, for Sehun looked like he was ready to jump out the window, “he’s definitely straight.”

“Is he really?” the waiter said with a sly grin. He pat Sehun on the back, ignoring the boy’s glare.

“Well, have fun on your non-date.”

“What in the flying -”Sehun yelled but was cut off when Luhan grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down to his seat.

“Calm down,” Luhan urged as he cast Sehun a worried look, “you’re making a scene. I thought you hated attention.”

“He was being annoying,” Sehun snapped back, but nevertheless shrunk in his seat at the amount of eyes glancing in his direction. He looked back in annoyance, and soon enough Luhan and Sehun were left in peace again.

“He was just joking around, Sehun. Don’t get so worked up about it.”

“He thought we were on a date!” Sehun through up his hands in frustration.

“Well, is that so bad?” Luhan asked, his tone doleful. Sehun’s hands dropped down in surprise, not knowing how to react to Luhan’s sudden question.

“Uh, I guess not,” Sehun replied, “but still. I’m not gay.”

“I think we established that already.” This time, Luhan sounded annoyed. He looked away with a tiny frown. “You’ve been telling me since day one.”

Sehun frowned too. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Luhan replied with a sigh. A different waiter came with their food, and the two ate in relative silence. Sehun couldn’t shake off the feeling that he did something wrong, but he didn’t know what. Luhan however seemed to return to his usual self by the end of the meal, as he slowly began to talk more and more.

“That was pretty good,” Luhan commented with a smile. “I should tell Jongin to bring Kyungsoo here as a date.”

“If that ever comes true,” Sehun replied, happy that Luhan’s sulking was now over. They stood up and Sehun handed Luhan some cash as the older made his way to the cashier.

“I’ll be waiting outside,” Sehun said. Luhan nodded and watched as Sehun exited the shop. He took the bill and handed the money to the cashier, who he realized was the waiter from before.

“So, future boyfriend in denial, huh?” The waiter said. Luhan sighed and shook his head.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Sure it will,” the waiter laughed, “I can see it already. You guys would make an adorable couple.”

“Thanks, I guess?” Luhan took the receipt and stuffed it in his pocket. He turned around and was about to head out when the waiter called out.

“Next time you come back, I’m expecting to see some kissing!”

Luhan blushed and ignored the comment as he pushed past the door. Sehun was leaning against the wall and stared at Luhan as he came out.

“So, where are we headed to now?” Sehun asked. Luhan furrowed his eyebrows in concentration.

“Well, we just ate, so that leaves us dessert, right?”

Luhan’s mouth stretched into a wide grin and grabbed Sehun’s arm, dragging him along.

“I know the perfect place.”