Author’s POV

“But Donghae, I’m scared,” Kayla admitted as they walked down the hallways of SM hand-in-hand. They were heading towards Kayla’s training in handling publicity. Donghae squeezed her hand a little and could feel the girl hugging his arm.

“You’ll be fine. It’s just training. Those who are there are actors,” Donghae tried to assure her. Kayla remained unconvinced. She didn’t like the idea of having people shouting her name, telling her to do what they wanted. They reached the practise room that was like a theatre room. The walls were black, there were no mirrors and the lights were dim. Donghae bowed. “Good morning Mr Park,” he greeted the teacher. Kayla bowed too but didn’t greet the man in front of them. She was more focused on the surely twenty others in the room, presuming they were the actors. Mr Park walked up to them and shook Donghae’s hand then turned to Kayla.

“Good morning Miss Thompson,” he said. “No need to be frightened. We will take it easy.” Kayla nodded in response but refused to let go of her tight grip around Donghae.

“Kayla, it’s for your own best,” Donghae said. She took a deep breath and let him go. Mr Park smiled at her and took her hand to bring out her on the floor. He began by explaining to Kayla what the lessons would be about and how they would work. They would start by having an interview that would prepare her for all sorts of questions that could come up. Mr Park introduced the actors so that Kayla would know who they were. Then Mr Park asked all of them to leave, including Donghae. Donghae kissed Kayla’s forehead before he along with the actors walked out of the room.

“Okay Kayla, we’ll begin with the questions now. Remember to be honest but keep calm and don’t show too much of a reaction to any of my questions. If you do then the audience will think you’re hiding something. And try to smile, be friendly, lovable and have a positive attitude. It’ll make the crowd like you.” Kayla nodded. “Good, so welcome to SBS’s interview with Miss Kayla Thompson who has been announced to be Mr Lee Donghae’s girlfriend,” Mr Park said to what Kayla imagined being a huge crowed. Even though this probably wouldn’t happen Mr Park had thought that it would be good if she could handle questions anyhow. She smiled her warmest smile and made a small wave with her hand. Mr Park turned to her and went straight onto the questions of how she and Donghae had met, what kind of couple they were and lots of other questions. Kayla answered each question both charmingly and honestly. She felt good about how well she was dealing with each question so far. Suddenly Mr Park changed the subject. “So how do you feel about Donghae kissing other girls?” Mr Park asked naturally. Kayla’s eyes shot open wide. What kind of question was that?

“Um… Well I don’t mind-”

“You don’t mind? So you’re okay with him cheating on you? Or do you mean that you don’t mind that he’s an actor who ‘acts’ kisses with other girls?” Mr Park aggressively cut her off. Kayla was shocked. Had she just said she didn’t mind? She shook her head and forced a larger smile to appear.

“No I meant that I’m okay with him acting a role and kissing a girl there, but of course not outside and creating a relationship with the girl outside the set,” she said.

“So you’re possessive?” Mr Park retorted. She frowned. What now?

“No, I just…” Kayla stopped when she couldn’t find the right words.

“You just don’t think that he should spend time with any other girl than you? Do you dislike his fans too? Are you suggesting that he should stop being an idol?” Mr Park asked question after question, making it spin inside Kayla’s head. Soon her smile was replaced with sadness and she could feel the tears pressing their way forward. “We’ll stop there…” Mr Park cut when she had been quiet for a quite long while. Kayla sat quite on the chair with her head bent down and her hands were clasped together in her lap. Mr Park stood up and sat down in front of her. “I needed to be hard on you. You were doing really well until you panicked,” he said to comfort the girl who seemed to be on the verge of crying.

“I didn’t mean that I’m okay with it,” Kayla mumbled.

“I know you didn’t. But it’s also very important that you don’t come out as a possessive girlfriend. Try to remember that, okay?” Mr Park said. Kayla nodded shortly and wiped away a tear. Mr Park stood up. “I think that will have to be enough for today.” Kayla rose from the chair.

“No… I want to continue with the training when you meet fans and haters,” she told Mr Park. He perched his lips together. She hoped that he would continue teaching her. If she already was in a vulnerable state then she could use it. Mr Park agreed and brought back the actors to the room. Then the real practise could begin. Kayla had never known that the flash of cameras, the screams some friendly others hateful and the violence was coming from the fans. She understood that she dated an idol that was famous but why were there fans who believed that she’d stolen him, or that if they touched her they would touch him? To Kayla all this wasn’t reasonable. If she was a fan then she would give her idol space, privacy. Mr Park explained it to her that some of Donghae’s fans really thought of him as a god, their husband to be and so on. To see him with another girl was their worst nightmare scenario. These kinds of fans could never be happy for their idols: they can only be happy with them. When Mr Park was done explaining this to Kayla she felt more ready for the challenge. The actors formed around her quickly, yelling things at her. She tried to keep her cool, bow and walk away quickly but still not in a rude manner. When she was in the safety area that Mr Park had pointed out she turned to her teacher. He was smiling at her, nodding. She smiled back.

“Really good Kayla,” he complimented her. “That will have to be enough for today but you did a great job. You’re improving,” Mr Park told her.

“Thank you,” she replied and bowed. The actors gave her a small round of applauds then they all packed up and headed out. Mr Park offered Kayla to show her to where Donghae worked. She happily agreed.

“The next lesson we’ll learn how you deal with hate letters and hateful comments on the internet,” Mr Park said as he opened the door to the studio where the guys were practising for the upcoming concerts.

“Okay, I’ll do well next time too,” Kayla said smiling. Mr Park nodded and bowed. She bowed too and the bid their goodbyes. Then Kayla walked in to the studio and sat down along the wall, observing Donghae who was too focus on the dance to even notice that she’d come inside the room. She watched them finish their dance and then clapped her hands to both show how impressed she was and a bit to make them notice her. Donghae spotted her in the mirror and hurried to sit in front her, taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

“How did it go?” Donghae asked when he broke the kiss. Kayla smiled.

“It went well… Or not in the beginning… He made me cry a little,” she admitted. Donghae frowned and moved his hands down her arms.

“What made you cry?” he wondered. Kayla explained what happened to him. Donghae’s frown became more and more worried for each word she said, even if she tried to assure him that it wasn’t anything serious.

“Honestly Donghae. I just got shocked. I wasn’t prepared for the question and that got me crying. I don’t think you will cheat on me or anything.” Kayla moved to sit on her knees. “I trust you,” she said. Donghae tilted his head and lifted her chin to kiss her again.

“I know you do,” he replied, winking at her. With that Kayla felt more at ease and soon Donghae returned to practise again. She decided to stay and watch them a little longer before she had to go to work. When she did leave Kayla hugged Donghae tightly to her. She didn’t want Donghae to think that she was sad. She was in fact very happy.

“I love you,” she whispered, kissing him on last time then headed towards the door.

“I love you too princess,” Donghae shouted after her. She smiled brightly. She had a feeling that whatever the next lesson would bring her Donghae was going to be there to make her feel better afterwards. Kayla went to work not feeling quite as nervous for the coming lessons as she had been for the first lesson.

-

“You’re the ugliest ever. You don’t deserve him. You’re a . You shouldn’t even be alive. I can’t believe how Donghae can last in your presence. Although, he looks tired whenever we see him so this has to be an arranged marriage! Isn’t it?! He’s forced to marry you! WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE OUR OPPA ALONE?!” the actress shouted in her face. Kayla couldn’t do anything than hold back her tears. She knew the girl only read from a paper but that paper symbolised a letter from a hater. The words weren’t real she knew that yet they hurt. How anyone who didn’t even know her could say those things to her was unthinkable! Kayla knew that if Donghae got a hold of that anti-fan then it would not end well for her/him.

“What do you feel Kayla?” Mr Park asked as he circled around the actress and herself. Kayla took three deep breaths. “You don’t have to hold in your-”

“That’s pathetic. Why would you accuse me of stealing him from you? I won’t sink to your level my friend. Think whatever you like of me. Call me whatever makes you feel better. Just remember that Donghae and I are a couple because we love each other. I make him happy. That should be enough for you. Thank you for writing.” Kayla closed again and turned to look at Mr Park. He seemed chocked, she frowned. “It was a reply,” she explained to him. He changed his expression, seeming pleased with her.

“I know. I just didn’t think you would reply so well-mannered,” he said, making a note in his papers. “I was surprised you had the strength to reply.” Mr Park thanked the actress and asked a second actress to do the same thing. Yet again Kayla replied that she felt sorry that the fan’s love for her idol seemed to have faded just because he had found someone to spend his life with. She replied that no one could know where their relationship was going but she promised the fan that she’d remind Donghae to always first of all cherish his fans, that he’d never forget them. She also promised that she’d do her best to keep him smiling. Mr Park was impressed, it showed in his eyes. Kayla felt happy with herself. She had accomplished and mastered the hater letters quickly. They kept practising this for a while longer then ended the lesson with some more rumours that magazines came up with.

“Mr Park, what does the idols experience?” Kayla asked her teacher, they were walking out from the room. “I mean aren’t you being nice on me?” Mr Park sighed.

“Yes I am. What some idols go through is much, much worse than what I’m putting you through,” Mr Park confessed to Kayla. She felt a sting in her heart. Was Donghae one of those idols who got to experience hate? In that case she wanted to know what kind of hate that had been. She begged Mr Park to tell her more about it but he only told her that she didn’t want to know. This made her even more worried. Mr Park left her and Kayla went to work like always. She texted Donghae if she could come over when her shift was done and they needed food when they got home. Donghae texted back that she always was welcome in the dorms and that they would love for her to cook for them if she truly wanted to do so. Kayla smiled and worked hard her whole shift then hurried home to be able to prepare the dinner for when the guys got home. They arrived shortly after dinner was done and they all sat down to eat. After dinner they sat down in the living room a few of them while the others were busy doing the dishes or doing something else in their rooms. Kayla had placed herself next to Donghae with her legs resting on top of his and he held her hand tightly in his. Siwon, Shindong, Heechul and Ryeowook were with them in the living room. They were discussing Kayla’s lessons.

“So what did you do today?” Shindong asked curiously.

“I got to practise hearing hate letters and other hateful comments that spread across the internet,” Kayla told them. All of them went silent. And the first one to speak was Heechul.

“How did it go? What did you get to hear?” he asked.

“Don’t say it,” Donghae cut in when Kayla was about to answer. “I don’t want to hear it,” he said, lowering his head. Kayla felt that maybe the time wasn’t completely right but she wondered when else she could ask.

“Have you guys gotten a lot of hate letters?” She could see all five of them tense up, exchange words through their eyes.

“Lots of times,” Shindong said. “I’ve been criticised for my weight at so many occasions I can’t even count them. Heechul has been bashed for not being able to sing. Ryeowook for being cold hearted. Siwon for being just a visual that shouldn’t really be singing or dancing… And Donghae…” He paused and looked passed Kayla to Donghae. She turned her head too to see that Donghae’s expression had become very hurt. When she looked at him, Donghae turned away his head. He didn’t want her to see how much those letters or comments had affected him.

“Kayla,” Heechul called out to grab her attention, she switched her focus to him. He had a gentle smile on his face. “You don’t have to worry. It may hurt a lot, especially-” Suddenly Donghae removed Kayla’s legs away from his own and walked to his room. When Kayla attempted to follow him she felt a hand on her shoulder, Heechul’s. “Like I said, when they press on our weakest spot they hurt lots more. But don’t worry. Donghae’s fine he just don’t want to think about it. Most of his bashing is about either him being stupid, careless or that he’s to blame for different happenings within the band.” Heechul made a pause and then continued. “I’m sure you did excellent on that lesson. And we’re here for you.” He caressed her cheek and gave her a hug.

“And you can always come to us if you need to talk,” Siwon added. Kayla nodded and hugged Heechul back. She didn’t originally want to ask this either but it kind of just slipped out.

“Donghae is going to receive more of those letters once they know he’s dating me right?” Heechul let go of me and shook his head.

“Not necessarily. Though he will have to face you getting hurt, this is what’s scaring him the most,” Heechul said.

“Besides, Donghae is sensitive,” Siwon followed. “If you show him that you don’t care then he’ll eventually let go of it too.” Kayla smiled thankfully to the four guys in front of her.

“Thank guys,” she said, standing up. “I’ll go see how Donghae’s doing now,” she said and skipped to his room. When she opened the door, Donghae lay on his bed. He was reading a book. Since he was lying on his stomach Kayla decided to be a little cheerful and lie down on top of him. She peeked over his shoulder to see what book he read. It was a Harry Potter book of course. What else would it have been when he felt upset? Donghae huffed because of the weight he now felt on top of him, but he didn’t say anything. The girl thought of actions to make him aware that she was there too now. She played with his hair and spotted his exposed neck. She smirked and moved her head down, pressing her lips against his soft skin. He shivered under her.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, trying his best to sound annoyed. Kayla bit her lips teasingly and kept kissing his neck.

“Can I leave a mark?” she asked then giggled. Donghae laughed loudly and without warning turned them over so that he now was on top of her.

“I’m an idol. I can’t have marks. But I can leave marks on you,” he whispered seducingly, moving down towards her neck. She put her hands on his chest to stop him.

“Let me remind you that you have makeup artists that can fix that. I don’t.” Donghae smirked.

“Well you use makeup too, don’t you?” he asked her. When she held her tongue his smirk grew wider. “Well then,” he said and was just about to attack her neck when she stopped him.

“I don’t want a mark,” she told him firmly. He sighed and moved away again.

“Fine, let me kiss you then,” he replied and moved down to kiss her. Their kisses deepened little by little and soon melted into passionate, loving ones. After some minutes they broke apart to catch air.

“I have to go home now I think,” Kayla said when she looked at her clock. It was almost ten in the evening and she had to get up early to go to work.

“Aw, can’t you stay?” Donghae pleaded. Kayla made him move and got up.

“Sorry, I have to open the café at six. But I can come to SM when I’m done if you want?” she said. Donghae nodded happily and followed her out to the hallway. He watched her put on her shoes and jacket. When she was done she turned to him, smiling. They shared a hug and another kiss before she went out the door.

“I love you!” Donghae yelled after her when she skipped down the stairs. She turned around and blew him a kiss.

“Love you too,” she replied and disappeared out of sight. He closed the door and went back to his room to get ready to sleep too. They didn’t get a lot of sleep these days so when they finished early all the members would go to bed early too. Donghae waited for Kayla’s text to come that she’d arrived home safely, texted her good night and then drifted off to sleep. Of course reading one or two chapter in Harry Potter first…