Expectation:

“OH MY LOVE! YES! YOU CAN HAVE ME BACK! I WANT YOU BACK TOO!! AHHH!! MAKE LOVE TO ME NOW! I LOVE YOU~!” You scream as you jump into his arms giggling like crazy.

“LETS GET MARRIED~” He shouts holding you tightly against him. Wedding bells.

Reality:

You shift uncomfortably, your eyes dart all over the place. He’s still staring at the wall waiting for you to respond. Your mind is racing, your heart is pounding. You force your hands to stay at your side.

“I – I don’t know,” You answer honestly and that’s not the answer he wants to hear, he hits wall a few times with his fist out of what you think is anger. You flinch when he turns to you.

“You’re making this difficult for me,” He tells you, his voice hard and holding hints of frustration.

“Oh please,” You roll your eyes at him, “And you think this is easy for me?!” Your voice is getting louder but you try to lower it, there was no point in getting angry at him.

You both stand there in the silent hallway; you look away from him when his gaze seemed to pierce and look right into your soul.

“Look at me,” He orders, “Look at me and tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

You shake your head lightly not bothering to look at him.

If someone doesn’t respect your feelings then that person doesn’t deserve your love, he shouldn’t have left you. That voice is back again, you swallow trying to shake it out but it doesn’t leave, he’s demanding an early decision from you. He will turn around and leave. Can you handle that? It was painf –

“I…why did you leave me? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Protect yourself, don’t allow him to hurt you again – shut up!

He closes his eyes and sighs, “You should go.” He says.

“No!” You scream, “Not until you answer me!” He looks away from you. “Look at me,” 

“Can’t you see…!” He stops himself when his voice raises, he then lowers his voice, “It’s only going to – this is the only normal conversation we’ve had without you running away. You should go before things turn ugly, baby,” He says quietly.

“Don’t call me that,” You say but it’s barely above a whisper, “Who knows that once I walk away from you, I’ll never come back?” You ask him.

“You will come back,” He says, “Because I’ll ask you to come back and you will.”

“You can’t always get what you want, you jerk,” You snap sharply.

“I know,” He chuckles, “But who I want is what matters the most,” He moves from the wall and walks to you; he stops in front of you and cages you against it. He slams his palm next to your head on the wall and leans in, his nose gently brushing against yours, “Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll let you go,”

You blink, staring right into his eyes; you sigh heavily as you think of a response. You place your hands on his chest about to push him away until you feel his heartbeat, why is your heart beating so fast? You ask as you feel the quick heartbeats.

“I…” You begin, you close your eyes, “I don’t love you.” You open your eyes when you hear him snort.

“Look me in the eye and say that one more time.” He demands.

 “I don’t,” You begin as you look into his eyes, you turn away when you see the determination inside them, “I don’t...uh love you?”

He rubs your cheek with his thumb before he pulls away from you. You glance at him and spot a smirk on his face.

Huh? You think as you glare at the smirk, you feel like slapping it off.

His smirk grows. “You hesitated.”

¤¤¤¤¤

Your mother stands in front of you with an annoyed look on her face, “You were with that boy again – alone?! In a dorm?! With beds?!” She screams, “Where was Jinyoung?!” She demands.

“Jin has his own life, Mom,” You state as you walk around the kitchen cleaning up the mess she made while she was cooking minutes ago.

“He was supposed to stay with you there – what kind of man is he!? I need to talk to his mother about this!” She huffs and walks out of the kitchen, stomping her way to your father.

“He’s not a man, he’s a guy and leave his mother alone.” You groan when you hear her telling your father about it, you hear him gasp. You roll your eyes as you dump a few pots in the sink, your younger sister gets the sponge and soap ready while your brother lazily shoves glasses in the machine.

“Don’t take him back,” He suddenly speaks, startling you and your sister, you both stare at him. Your sister hits his shoulder.

“Why!?” She demands angrily. He shrugs, “The guy just got back weeks ago, surely he’s changed – I still don’t like him though – but who knows? He might leave you again.”

You’re right, you hold the edge of the sink and stare at the pots in it.

Your young sister taps your shoulder; you look over at her and spot the serious look on her face. “Yes?” You ask her sounding confused, you are confused.

“Life is all about taking risks – you love him – “” You cut her off.

“I don’t!”

“Don’t interrupt me!” She says sternly.

“She’s olde – ”

“This is girl talk – shut up!” She snaps at him, “As I was saying – you love him. Dating him again might turn out to be the best or the worst decision,” She continues, “You can’t know until you try – you have to take chances.”

You stare dumbly into space, “Since when did you get so…wise?” Your brother asks with a laugh.

“I have my ways,” She snorts.

Protect yourself, that annoying voice comes again.

“Risk your heart but protect yourself - I don’t know what I'm saying anymore,” She sighs.

“Wisdom be gone!” You hear your brother run out of the room laughing.

“How…?” You ask unsure, she pauses before narrowing her eyes.

“That’s for you to find out – never bring up the issue of why didn’t you tell me or why did you leave me around him though,” She remarks.

“That’s impossible! I want to know why!” You exclaim, “I want to know… I want to know why but he won’t tell me why,” You whisper quietly sounding like a broken record, your sister pulls you in a hug, “Why won’t he tell me why?”

“Get a hold of yourself,” She says gently, “I’m sorry,” You tell her, and she shakes her head with a laugh.

“Maybe he is ashamed about it and that is why he won’t tell you why. I don't know.”  You close your eyes and sigh, “It’s okay – let’s not talk about this for a while, k?” You can only nod.

¤¤¤¤¤¤

LOL SHE DIDN’T CRY IN THIS CHAPTER! Nameless young sister FTW! Until next time :]