You bend take off your shoes as soon as you enter the house. You place your shoes carefully on the shoe rack and make your way further inside the house. As you walk past the living room, you hear your sister and older brother arguing over something, probably something ridiculous.

 Normally, you’ll in and try to stop them from arguing like little children, but today you’re drained. Both mentally and emotionally drained, you just want to crawl up in your bed and fall asleep. You want summer to end as quickly as possible so you would be on a plane off to university, out of the city and out of his life.

You drag yourself upstairs to your room with a tired sigh; you enter your room and slam the door shut. You walk towards your bed and let yourself drop on it like a lifeless doll; you close your eyes and blindly reach out for one of your pillows. You hug pillow close to your chest and let the tears you were fighting back earlier fall.

You hold the pillow tighter and make yourself into a small ball. Does he still love me?  The question won’t stop repeating itself in your head. You’re getting frustrated and more tears force their way out of your tightly shut eyes.

“I hate him,” You whisper into your pillow. At times like this, he’d hold you; rock you back and forth whispering sweet nothings into your ear trying to calm you down from whatever it was you’d be upset or crying about. He hated seeing you cry or upset. Does he still care?

You miss his touch.

You miss his laugh.

You miss his voice.

You miss his scent.

You miss his love.

You let out a choked sob, if your pillow was a pet, it’ll been wailing in pain because of the tight grip you have on it.

Why didn’t I just take him back?  You think. You are about to go crazy at any given moment, you feel like jumping off your bed and running out of your room and the house. Running back into his arms.

His arms, the place you used to feel the safest.

Would I feel the same if he was holding me now?You shake your head and sit up on your bed, your back to the door. You throw your pillow on the floor and glare at it, wishing it is MyungSoo so you can slap him as many times as you want.

I feel defeated without you

Defeated my , you think as you remember what he wrote on that stupid letter years ago. You look anything but defeat, you freaking jerk, you bite your lower lip as you wipe your tears with the back of your hand.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” You whisper to yourself, “It’s been four years – I should move on – I have moved on!”

“You need to get laid, sis,” You nearly jump out of your skin at that. You turn around and glare at your sister who smiles sheepishly at you, “I guess my plan didn’t work out too well,” She mumbles softly.

“You think?!” You say, “What were you thinking?!” You demand angrily.

She stands there like an obedient little girl, “Well, you’ve always been so sad – after you dumped him,” She mutters, “I thought maybe you seeing him – you could get back with him? It’s obvious you still love – ”

“I don’t,” You say sharply, you turn away from her, “Just don’t ever do that again,” You murmur under your breathe but loud enough for her to hear.

“…” She says nothing.

“Well?” You ask, when you receive no answer, you turn back around and find yourself staring at the open door. You groan, I made her sad, you think as you drag yourself from your bed and out of the room. You enter into the room opposite yours and quietly close the door; you walk towards her bed and sigh softly.

She is sitting at the edge of the bed looking all sad, you sit next to her and begin to her hair, “I’m grateful to have a little sister like you,” You begin to say with a small smile, “You may be annoying me half of the time but you always know what to do and say to make me smile,” You tell her gently.

“Did seeing MyungSoo make you smile?” She asks curiously and rests her head on your shoulder. You sigh heavily.

“No,” You answer honestly, “Unwanted feelings.” You roll your eyes before staring at her, “Don’t ever do that again, got it?”

“Nothing’s over~” You smack her head and hop off her bed; you place your hands on your hips and glare at her.

“Why can’t you find another guy to make him jealous? I’ve seen it happen in movies,” She tells you with a big grin on her face.

“No,” You state firmly, “That’s just cruel besides, I’m the one who broke up with him!” Although, that sounds like a good idea…you shake your head at that, “Is my dinner in the microwave? I smell pasta~” You ask curiously.

Your sister looks at you as though you are insane, “Um, I told her not to cook anything for you – ITHOUGHTHEWASGONNABUYYOUDINNERIMSORRY!”

Your stomach growls and you curse, before you can blink, your sister is out the door running from her own room. You shake your and walk back to your room; you sit on your bed and sigh.

“If I don’t stop sighing – I’ll slap someone!” You snap, you drop yourself on your side and stare at nothing, “I wonder what he is doing now…if he has eaten or – I’m losing it.” You sit up again.

“That jerk didn’t even apologize!” You suddenly exclaim, “Freaking jerk needs to get off his high horse – argh seriously – as if I’d go back to him! I don’t love him…” You trail off at the end.

“Do I love him?” You ask yourself, “Ah! How many times have I asked myself that?!”

“Bed time, sweetheart!” Your mother says from outside your room.

“I’m almost an adult, mom, I’m not a child. Go tell the little brat to sleep,” You tell her calmly.

“Are you crying?” She asks her voice is filled with concern, “Can I come in?” Sometimes you hate how she seems to know your every emotion.

My mum’s a witch, you think, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” You try to sound cheerful and fail.

“I’m coming in, okay?” She says but you don’t hear the knob, you must have left the door open. You groan.

“No, you’re just going to lecture me about MyungSoo.” You exclaim.

She is right in front of you, she’s glaring, “You were with that boy today?!” She asks.

“The twerp’s fault,” You shrug as if it’s nothing. And he’s not a boy, you want to add but she’ll just give you one good smack.

Your mother huffs, “That little brat! BRB, I need to talk to her,” She quickly makes her way out of your room and slams the door shut.

You freeze, “Did she just say BRB?”

BRB?

Be right back?

Huh?

You snap out of it when you hear a ringtone: Nothing’s over~ Nothing’s over~ nothing’s over~

You look at your nightstand and glare at your ringing phone. That is not the ringtone you set.

“WHO THE HELL FUDGED WITH MY PHONE?!”

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 Until next time :]