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“I hate you, Eric Mun.” His voice was echoing in my head.

“You’re drunk.” I gritted my teeth in anger. Right now, I wanted to punch his intoxicated face so much. What sin I committed to be punished like this? To fell in love with the man who continuously hurting and breaking my heart.

“I broke up with my girlfriend today.” He closed his eyes and looked so much in pain.

Oh.

“I broke up with her, and she cried.” His hands were trembling heavily. “I never made her cry but today I did that to her. And she begged me not to leave her but I left anyway. Now I feel like .” I looked at the scattered bottles on the table. Did he drink by himself all this time? How much did he drink?

“I broke up with her because I want to be with you.” He laughed bitterly like he suddenly found it funny. He rubbed his eyes with his palm.

“Hyesung-ah..” I moved closer to hold him but he shoved my attempt.

“Don’t comfort me.” He hissed. “I don’t deserve it.”

“It’s gonna be alright.” I choked at my own words. So this was Shin Hyesung. It pained him so much when he hurt someone else. He would drink and cry by himself rather than shared his troubles. He bottled it up and tried to solve them alone. And he thought he doesn’t deserve any comfort?

“How?”

“We’ll figure it out.” I believe we will figure it out in the end. Please believe it, Hyesung-ah..

“Oh my God, you’re like a mikkulaji! You’re so good at lurking and tricking someone and leading them to the wrong path!” He snapped at me. But then he continued slowly, “Drive me home.”

“I really love you Hyesung-ah.” I grabbed his hand when he stood up.
 

“Eric, let’s talk about it some other time. Let me repent my broken heart for tonight.” He let go my grip and walked clumsily out of the booth.

***

He fell asleep the moment he sits on his seat. I fastened his seatbelt carefully tried not to wake him. I glanced at him from time to time, but he didn’t move. He was still sleeping and snoring. He could look innocent sleeping like that, but I knew better. I stretched my right hand and caressed his cheek carefully. If only I could take away his pain..

I carried him on my back when we arrived at his apartment building. But when I stood inside the elevator, I realized that I didn’t know what floor where he lives. So turned my head and nudged his head with mine, “Hyesung-ah, which floor?”

“Eight.” I heard him mumble.

I pressed the button and stepped outside once we reached. “Which unit?”

“That.” He pointed his finger weakly at a door.

“What’s the password?”

“0802.” What? His password was his unit number? I pressed the code and the door unlocked. I scoffed slowly and Minwoo said Hyesung wasn’t a careless person. Yeah, right.

I stepped inside his overly neat apartment and brought him to his bedroom. Why this man so heavy? He looked thin but heavy as hell. I put him on his bed and he groaned lowly. I took off his shoes and jacket but I thought that changing all his clothes might be too much. So I just pulled the blanket to cover him and patted his chest lightly. “Have a rest, Hyesung-ah..”

I looked at him once again before I closed his bedroom door. I should feel happy that he’s unattached now, but when I leaned my back at his door I felt bad instead. I felt really really bad. I felt bad to that girl, someone I didn’t know who maybe still crying now. I felt bad to Hyesung who need to be drunk to fall asleep tonight. And I felt bad because I could do nothing about it.

I sighed and walked out when something caught my sight. Something small and simple, but at the same time important. Because Hyesung put it in the middle of his book shelf. His photo with his girlfriend. I moved to see it closer. They sat close to each other with Hyesung’s hand on her shoulder. They smiled happily to the camera. At that moment, the faceless girlfriend of Hyesung wasn’t faceless anymore. She was beautiful. And looking at her sincere smile, she must be nice too. Hyesung just let go of her for me. I felt like someone squeezed my heart, it was so hurt.

What else we need to throw away to be together?
 

***

I could not sleep the whole night, so I decided to just get up my bed early and shower. I thought about calling Hyesung but maybe it was a bad idea. I knew that receiving a call in the morning when you have a hangover was the worst. Maybe I could dropping by his place and brought him breakfast. What should I cook for him?

I got dressed and walked to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and scanned it to find something to cook. But to my disappointment, I found nothing decent. Just leftovers and beers and a few apples. So I headed back to my room and grabbed my jacket and wallet. I better went to the groceries. I wrote a note to Minwoo before left.

I stood in front of his apartment and suddenly hesitant to enter. Barging inside his apartment when he still asleep and just using his kitchen to cook him breakfast was impudent, even for my standard. But pressing the bell and made him got up his bed was not a better idea. So I just stood there for 5 minutes, still carrying a heavy bag of groceries, busy contemplating in my head. Until I heard the door beside Hyesung’s unit clicked open, reflexively I pressed the code and stepped inside. The place was quiet so he must be still sleeping.

I put the bag on the kitchen counter before tiptoed to his bedroom. I placed my ear on the door and tried to listen to any sound from inside. Quiet. So I decided not to disturb him and cook quietly in the kitchen. All the time I avoided looking at that photo in the middle of his book shelf.  

I cooked some light chicken soup, rolled egg and stir-fried mushrooms for him. I wondered if he likes it. And I felt bitter because I realized that I don’t know his favorite food. There’s still time to do it, Eric. To learn all about him and memorize them. Because I planned to stay with him for my whole life.

I heard the door clicked open so I hurriedly walked to the kitchen door. He clearly really surprised to see me here. His hand that was rubbing his nape stopped motionless. His eyes were wide open and his mouth agape. It was cute view, let me tell you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked still shocked.

“I’m sorry to come without notice. I made breakfast for you. Please sit, Hyesung-ah.” I said slowly and tried to read his face. Is he angry at me?

He only muttered “Impossible,” and walked past me to the fridge. I turned my face to see him open the fridge and gulped some water. He’s angry, Eric. You’re in trouble. Maybe it was better to leave him alone for a while now.

I was about to grabbed my things and excused myself when I heard him said “Let me wash up a little. I smelled like a beggar.” He still avoided looking at me and walked past me without any more words. I watched him enter the bathroom and I smiled. I still had my chance. I sat and waited for him to join me.

He spent almost half hour inside the bathroom and that made me almost explode from nervousness. When he finally showed up in dining table, my head was already blank. And he was not helping at all. Wearing simple white T-shirt and black sweatpants, he looked so beautiful. I could see his hair still damp and his face, although a little bloated, was fresh. He smelled of soap and aftershave and that was enough to burn my circuit. Damn you Shin Hyesung for making me like this!

He pulled the chair and asked, “What are you cooking?”

“Chicken soup.” I smiled at him.

“Hmm.” He nodded. He took his spoon and tasted my soup. “It’s really good, Eric.” He smiled.

“Eat a lot, Hyesung-ah.”

“I threw up pretty bad just now. My stomach still feels funny, but this is nice. Light and warm.” He scooped more of the soup.

We ate in silent and I didn’t mind that. He chewed and swallowed slowly. He never left his gaze from his food all the time. I didn’t mind that too. Because I could watch him freely. His hair was on darker shade of his usual brownish color because it still damp. His eyes were smaller than how I remembered them. Must be because his face still bloated and his eyes still puffy. For the first time I noticed the moles on his neck, looked so tempting I wanted to kiss them. Oh God..

I looked away from him because right now I felt so hot and funny tingling flared inside my stomach. Calm down, Eric.

I was busy with my own thought I didn’t realize Hyesung was done eating. He tapped the water cup slowly while holding it.

After a few minutes, he finally sighed and looked straight to me.

“You better be serious, Eric. If you ever playing with me or leave me, I will kill you with my bare hands.”

And with those words, our relationship began. I smiled widely. This was the best way to started Monday.

***

We agreed to keep this a secret. But I said to him that I couldn’t keep it a secret from Minwoo. He frowned at it but with not much protest he shrugged it off. So I told him it was okay if he tells Junjin. He didn’t say a word but I noticed how his face tensed at it. “What if he hates me?”

I didn’t know Junjin for too long so I couldn’t guess his respond about this. He sighed and said that he would eventually tells him, when the time was right. I only nodded. It was the best plan we have for now.

He said because of our ‘circumstances’ and busy works, we couldn’t meet every day. “So don’t sulk over that matter.” He warned me. I slightly opposed it, but I thought I would veto it some other time. “We’ll call each other.” He added and smiled. “You already sulk, Idiot.”

“We don’t need to meet at public. We can find a private place for us to meet.” I said and he blushed immediately.

“You sneaky mikkulaji.” He scoffed at me. I thought that nickname would stick with me for a long time.

“We’ll figure it out, Hyesung-ah..”

“One thing at a time?” He smiled. That morning, when we sat across each other in his dining table, I fell in love once again. He smiled at me and my armors fell. Now all we knew was don’t let go.

He let me to peck his lips, but only that. (“My mouth smelled like alcohol, Eric.” He said shyly and pushed me away) I brushed his hand lightly before we stepped out his apartment. We walked together to the parking lot but kept a safe distance. We held our smile and tried not to look at each other. Act like normal people.

I came to work late today, because I needed to go back home from Hyesung’s place to change my clothes before drove to my office. I found Minwoo waited at my office when I arrived. He didn’t say anything. But from his questioning look, I know exactly what he wanted to know.

I smiled to him and nodded frantically. I couldn’t speak out loud because we were in office now.

Yes, we are dating now. I am dating Shin Hyesung.

He smiled proudly and lifted his thumb up, “Ganji, Eric.”

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A/N

I was eager to write that last line since forever!!! Kekekeke....

I'm sorry I took too long to reply your comments, it's because AFF didn't let me reply from my phone.. :(

But I want you to know that I read all your comments with much gratitude.. :) I will definitely reply all your comments. Promise ^^